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Yenni

Family Dinners- A Nightmare And A Rant.

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I am really not doing well with family dinners. Thanksgiving was hell. I can handle not eating Turkey, mashed potato and gravy pretty well, even watching the others eat the stuff (while eating my own food), but my husbands family just LOVES food. So they talk about food almost all the time.

The whole stinking dinner it was all gourmet food talk. Brie cheese with apricots (not that that sounds all that great, but still..I liked Brie now and then and can never have it again.) It was in great detail on how to make it and such. They have like cooking dates every other weekend.

On top of things it leaves me with nothing to talk about with them. They just don't care about my situation or how it might be like for me to sit there feeling left out even without all that talk.

I tried to talk about traveling with one of the members and that all got shot down with "what would we eat in that country", "vegetarian food isn't real food" (I am not a vegetarian, but I don't eat lots of meat because I don't do well on it.) and I can't remember the rest. It was all about food anyways.

I cried a bit in the bathroom actually. Stupid people.

Anyone have such a nice family as mine?

I just needed to rant. I think people understand here more than any other place.

There is a birthday today and they are all gonna have hamburgers and cake and talk food. I am sure. I have a real hard time feeling part of the family. (It is my husbands family.) Not sure what to do, or even if there is anything I CAN do. Just be strong. Nice to get some understanding some place though. From this place. Others like me.

End rant. Thanks for listening.

Jenny :rolleyes:;)

(I should add that my husband wasn't it that talk very much and not all the others either. But the loudest and the biggest. That was enough for making things hard.)

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I'm gluten and diary free, and talk about food all the time! (other people might feel about me the way that you feel about family! ;) ) anyway, it might help if you can bring into the conversation foods that are naturally free of things that you can't have. it may take some time, and you might have to do some cooking to demonstrate what is so tasty, but it can work with some people.

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I'm gluten and diary free, and talk about food all the time! (other people might feel about me the way that you feel about family! ;) ) anyway, it might help if you can bring into the conversation foods that are naturally free of things that you can't have. it may take some time, and you might have to do some cooking to demonstrate what is so tasty, but it can work with some people.

I can eat like Veggies and Chicken...not much of that is interesting for them. They think my food is bunny food. (I have to agree. hehe)

I make soup sometimes: Veggie and Chicken soup...hehe...fry chicken with veggies.... (sigh)

They like everything that I can't have.

I really don't know how that would work to tell you the truth. They are a hard bunch to deal with for someone like me.

:P

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Sorry you also have a family that talks food all the time. It is a social activity. I cart food with me wherever I go.. I sometimes get so tired of doing that but I have no choice. But I have found when I take something interesting they all jump on me & say you can't eat that can you!!!! I have started to take some of the most special things I can think of & I take extras so I can share. It does open up a new world to those gluten eaters...... Also I try to make mine look & taste way better then theres.........jealousy always works ....

I make pretty cupcakes for birthdays parties & have taken my own buger & bun to picnics plus potato salad & marconi salad..... Lasagne that waffles an Italian smell over their house....... Banana bread for breakfast at the local coffee shoppe...

And when they tease me because I can't have something I just tell them --- you are an immediate family member so this may happen to you so don't laugh to loud....& I may not care to help you if & when it does.

good luck

mamaw

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Sorry you also have a family that talks food all the time. It is a social activity. I cart food with me wherever I go.. I sometimes get so tired of doing that but I have no choice. But I have found when I take something interesting they all jump on me & say you can't eat that can you!!!! I have started to take some of the most special things I can think of & I take extras so I can share. It does open up a new world to those gluten eaters...... Also I try to make mine look & taste way better then theres.........jealousy always works ....

I make pretty cupcakes for birthdays parties & have taken my own buger & bun to picnics plus potato salad & marconi salad..... Lasagne that waffles an Italian smell over their house....... Banana bread for breakfast at the local coffee shoppe...

And when they tease me because I can't have something I just tell them --- you are an immediate family member so this may happen to you so don't laugh to loud....& I may not care to help you if & when it does.

good luck

mamaw

hehe I have been trying that jealousy thing too, bummer thing is I am very limited. Way more limited that what it sounds like you are. Grrrr.. I try to make my fried chicken and veggie dish look the best it can ever look. These days I do well with spices and that always help. AND a lot of the time their food doesn't seem that good to me, but I think that it is just the fact that one is "starved" from the limited selection..

..I just gotta be strong. I try thinking that I am healthier in the long run than them for eating so many veggies. Almost all of them have some or a lot of extra weight on them and I don't. Maybe I get some extra years instead. Weird argument maybe, but one gets desperate. :P

I can't stop them from talking and they have the right to talk about what ever they want...it just seems weird that they do. It's like talking about running a race for a lengthy time with someone sitting in a wheel chair. Just insensitive.

Maybe I'll handle it better with time. I dunno. It sure ain't easy.

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It sounds awfully frustrating! :(

What if you were to invite them to your house for a gluten-free cooking date?

Grill chicken and veggies? Maybe have them come up with some good marinade recipes for the chicken, and tell you what ingredients to buy in advance? (So you could make sure that they are gluten-free!) And maybe you could make some gluten-free rolls or buns (tons of good recipes out there). gluten-free pumpkin bread is easy and appropriate this time of year, and you could add cranberries and nuts to make it look festive. There are some yummy salad recipes floating around, with goat cheese and walnuts, and they could help you make homemade croutons from a bought loaf of gluten-free bread.

You could make Italian wedding soup or something that has lotsa vegies, and use gluten-free pasta in it. Or one of my favorites is Rachael Ray's recipe for creamy pumpkin soup (but I always add curry to it).

And pasta is just a no-brainer--use Tinkyada and make sauce from scratch! PIzza is fun, too--there is a great recipe (I'll pm it to you if you want) that is delicious, and just as easy as a Bisquick crust.

Your celiac makes it impossible to join their world on their turf--but they can bring their world to your turf, if you invite them, and if you are willing to go to the work of setting it up so that it's safe for you to eat.

My family and friends have been wonderful--they go to a lot of effort to make gluten-free meals for me, and I knock myself out trying to make fantastic meals for them when it's my turn!

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Jenny, are you still following all the things listed in your signature? No gluten, soy, casein, legumes, grains (corn, potato, rice, etc)? I know that makes things difficult....I've been there. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.

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Jenny, are you still following all the things listed in your signature? No gluten, soy, casein, legumes, grains (corn, potato, rice, etc)? I know that makes things difficult....I've been there. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.

Yes, I am following all of that. Add on allergic to nuts, almonds and almost all fruits and you end up with like 20 things?

Makes things narrow and food talk not much fun.

I have tried gluten free flours and rice..but that makes me feel nasty too and gives me a stomach ache. Lets just say I am very nutritionally challenged.

Thank you. Warms my heart.

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I have tried gluten free flours and rice..but that makes me feel nasty too and gives me a stomach ache. Lets just say I am very nutritionally challenged.

Sorry, Jenny, I didn't read your sig, and didn't realize you were so limited. :(

I got stomach aches from the gluten-free flours and the gluten-free pastas, too--it took several months before I was able to eat them without stomach aches. Brown rice was the same--but plain, Japanese, short grain, white rice was just fine. I don't know why.

Now I can eat the brown rice and, oh, pretty much everything, as long as it doesn't have gluten. Maybe in a few more months, you will be able to add more things back in.

Probiotics either helped, or else they had a very strong placebo effect!!!

I still say that there's gotta be a way to bridge the gap between your in-laws and you--and that the opening move pretty much needs to come from you. I think back to all that I didn't know before I ever heard of celiac, and I certainly wouldn't have dared to invite anyone with serious food issues over for a meal, I'd be afraid of making them sick! But if they had invited me over, and given me all the rules and regulations that I needed to know, and even provided the ingredients, and made it clear that they wanted MY COMPANY, and that they so badly wanted to be included in my family's food fun that they went to all this trouble--well , heck, how could anybody say no?

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How frustrating! Family can be so insensitive sometimes. I was fortunate enough that my sister-in-law would make the stuffing outside the turkey this Thanksgiving, but then got to listen to them all rant about how it didn't taste as good. Well, excuse me! Sorry you had to have one little dish taste a little different while I got to sit and watch you slather butter all over warm rolls.

Ahem. Sorry to steal your thread.

Have you talked with your hubby about it? Maybe he could help smooth things over. If it were me, I might skip one of the events once in a while, but they might see that as very rude so not sure if that is a possibility either.

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I sympathize, really I do. Whatever my restrictions, though, my family hasn't put me through anything like this. I guess they know I wouldn't put up with it.

What does your husband say when all this is going on? Have you shared with him how this makes you feel? In your position, I would say something to my husband. If the food talk happens anyway, I would try to change the topic ("let's not talk about all this undoubtedly delicious food that will make me sick if I try it ... I'm sorry, but it bothers me ... how 'bout them Mets?"). If that doesn't work, I would be boned up on all the research about the nasty health effects of what they want to eat. If neither thing works, I would try talking to any kids there (they aren't food-obsessed are they?), reading a book, doing Sudoku, listening to my I-Pod, or just going to my happy place and daydreaming. If someone talks to you and you don't know what they were talking about, just say, "Oh, sorry. I wasn't paying attention because this topic bothers me. As I mentioned before ..."

Maybe I'm a you-know-what, but when I get disrespected, at least it isn't from people who know me :rolleyes:

Of course, your solution will have to be in accord with your personality and the other dynamics of your relationship with these people. I guess I do give more slack to folks who are generally sweet and just interpret comments like my MIL's "but what do you eat?" (um, we've explained this to her how many times?) like an endearing, little quirk to be laughed about later. Actually, it is more like an inside joke at this point.

As far as the vegetarian-antipathy thing, I can relate to that. Heck, you aren't even a vegetarian and look at what you get. Imagine if you ate a completely plant-based diet like yours truly :o I do think that people feel challenged if someone eats differently than they do, particularly if they suspect that maybe they shouldn't be eating what they are eating. So they will tell you certain things aren't real food or the like and attack, even if you don't even offer a criticism of them. I know I never talk about whether certain foods are healthy or not, etc., I just want to eat what I want/can and be left alone. But some people think they are being attacked if you don't have certain foods on your plate, even if you don't mention food at all.

BTW Can you eat wild rice, quinoa, buckwheat, millet, amaranth, teff?

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Jenny, unfortunately there are more than a handful of board members who have/had numerous, numerous other intolerances....it really is tough. I was at 8-10 foods last year.

Have you been evaluated for other medical conditions, like Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth, or other Celiac-related conditions? I just wouldn't want something else to be going on.

Hang in there!

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I dunno. It is just weird with this family. I feel like if I make demands or try to get respect they all get offended. You are supposed to be quiet about personal things and if someone voices it the others get uncomfortable. I have had times when I try to say something and kinda get punished with getting left out instead. So I feel very much I am the alien here and if they treat me bad and I ask them not to I am the bad for asking. It is all quite strange.

My husband knows. He doesn't say much, or do much. I think he feels it wouldn't do much with them.

I guess they aren't a very talkative bunch when it comes to emotions and it seems some have more rights than others. I am just an in law and that gives me less rights. Some of the siblings have more rights than the other siblings. They usually forget my husbands birthday but would never forget the sisters. She would make a big scene if they did, while my husband says nothing. Just an example.

Families can be very strange.

I tried to talk about traveling and European countries at that Thanksgiving table and it, like I said, all got shot down by what would we eat in that country. I was thinking to my self: what is wrong with you people???

They always eat when they get together and so now my husband and I do not get invited to much anymore. My husband thinks they feel bad having me there. It's like eating in front of a starving person he thought. Hmmm.. (So one gets punished for being sick now.)

I wouldn't do things this way myself if one of them were sick. That is for sure.

So yes, I have talked to my husband. In some ways he understands but in others he doesn't. To him it is not hard to hear a lot of talk about food, so he doesn't think about it. So when I bring it up after, that it was hell listening to them all, he is kinda surprised. He said he didn't even notice they talked about it so much.

No, no Quinoa or other gluten free grains have worked so far. I get nauseas from them all. Even rice. I can have these Very berry Bars (Enjoy Life Brand) that have rice in them with no problems, but anything else I have tried with rice doesn't work. Mystery, but I am VERY happy I can eat them. I don't know what I would do without them actually.

Haven't been able to find probiotics or vitamins that work either. I eat Calcium and vitamin D and the Very Berry bars have vitamines and minerals added to them. I eat like 5 a day of them so I get some vitamines and stuff from them.

I haven't been checked for any other problems. My stomach is actually pretty good when I just stick to my diet. I am hoping to be able to go to a naturepathic doctor next year. There has been other health issues that has been in need of attention before this happens, so I haven't gone yet.

Now this turned in to a whiny post. Didn't want that. I just wanted to rant to get it out a bit. :P

I try not to think about it all. It gets too hard it I dwell on it. I feel I would get depressed if I do.

Something if for certain though; I do not understand these people very well.

I am hoping I will be able to eat more things with time. I have been able to eat much more spices and stuff since the summer.

Very true that things that are different often times are seen as a threat. I think they just don't know how to deal with it so they pretend it isn't there some how. Or choose to deny it some how.

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I dunno. It is just weird with this family. I feel like if I make demands or try to get respect they all get offended.

You may have put your finger on it. I have very bad luck with every person I know when I make demands and/or try to get respect!

But I have great luck when I plead, beg, and compliment...

sample: "You guys are such great cooks, could you PLEASE help me come up with some decent-tasting-but-safe-for-my-medical-situation dinners before I either die of starvation or of jealousy from watching all you guys cook and eat things I can't touch???!! I feel so left out all the time, I was in tears last time, please help me???"

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I feel the exact same way. That's why I told my mom that I hate Thanksgiving. One year I went to a former boyfriend's house and his cousin (a chef) kept trying to get me to eat stuff with flour in it. People kept saying, why can't you have this? Or that? I felt SO uncomfortable.

My brother was such a butthead one christmas (he was jealous my grandma made a popcorn cake really fancy from Emeril's recipe and used it for a table centerpiece) and he said in front of everyone "It's all in your head!" I retorted, "Who's talking? The guy who almost died from an ant bite? Where's the Epi-Pen, big fella?"

So, I hear ya! I used to try to bring a friend who would keep me company more than "the rest" of them. I really feel for you. It is terrible. Especially "overweight" people...that's all they speak of.

My recent annoyance is that almost daily, people at work comment on my food at lunch. I just eat alone sometimes.

Every time I feel like I'm normal, someone draws attention to my food, and I feel like a gluten-phobic, my life revolves around celiac disease weirdo again.

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I'm gluten and diary free, and talk about food all the time! (other people might feel about me the way that you feel about family! ;) ) anyway, it might help if you can bring into the conversation foods that are naturally free of things that you can't have. it may take some time, and you might have to do some cooking to demonstrate what is so tasty, but it can work with some people.

Glad, you're so on-top-of things, but I'm not sensing much empathy here.

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I feel the exact same way. That's why I told my mom that I hate Thanksgiving. One year I went to a former boyfriend's house and his cousin (a chef) kept trying to get me to eat stuff with flour in it. People kept saying, why can't you have this? Or that? I felt SO uncomfortable.

My brother was such a butthead one christmas (he was jealous my grandma made a popcorn cake really fancy from Emeril's recipe and used it for a table centerpiece) and he said in front of everyone "It's all in your head!" I retorted, "Who's talking? The guy who almost died from an ant bite? Where's the Epi-Pen, big fella?"

So, I hear ya! I used to try to bring a friend who would keep me company more than "the rest" of them. I really feel for you. It is terrible. Especially "overweight" people...that's all they speak of.

My recent annoyance is that almost daily, people at work comment on my food at lunch. I just eat alone sometimes.

Every time I feel like I'm normal, someone draws attention to my food, and I feel like a gluten-phobic, my life revolves around celiac disease weirdo again.

You probably know very well what I feel. People do the most amazing things and I have really found out who really cares and who does not from getting this. I eat alone most of the time. My food is okay as long as I don't have to deal with theirs.

----

I made a list of things that I can eat. I really do not know what else to make from all of this. Not many gourmet dinners and nothing that tempts them for sure. They are all about cheese burgers, French fries, butter and bread. They do not eat veggies if it doesn't have butter on it or half a cup of dressing.

..and if you are peckish a tasty salad sure doesn't work as well as potato chips (can you tell I am bitter?).

Lettuce

Bell Pepper

Cucumber

Zucchini

Spinach

Broccoli

Cauliflower

Asparagus

Onion

Garlic

Melon

Honeydew

Blueberry

Raspberry

Blackberry

Coconut (forgot that one so I am adding it now)

Ham

Chicken

Fish

Turkey

(All meats w/o gluten, soy/legumes and dairy/casein/lactose added to it. Also watch out with oils. )

Very Berry Bars

Very Berry Cereal

Olive Oil

Safflower Oil

Raisins

St Clair

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Here is a Rachael Ray recipe for herb roasted turkey breast. I make this all the time with chicken breast, too--it cooks more quickly than the turkey breast. Substitute olive oil for the butter that goes under the skin, and use chicken broth instead of butter for basting, or just skip the basting part.

You can leave out the lemon peel if you think it will make you sick (but lemon peel is gluten-free, and it is in some herb and spice mixtures, so maybe you can tolerate it). You can skip the gravy part, too--it IS a good gravy, but the turkey/chicken is SO good, it doesn't need the gravy. (I use brown rice flour to make the gravy, but I think rice isn't on your list of edible foods, right?)

I notice that there is one cereal you can eat. What are the ingredients? Perhaps whatever grain that is in the cereal is something you might soon be able to tolerate as an ingredient in other things as well?

Anyway, here is the recipe:

1 small (golf-ball sized) onion, peeled and coarsely chopped

1 lemon, scrubbed clean

12 fresh sage leaves

Large handful fresh flat-leaf parsley (about 1/2 cup, from 12 stems)

3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for oiling pan

1 teaspoon salt, plus more as needed

6 fresh bay leaves

4 tablespoons butter

2 boneless turkey breast halves, skin on (about 2 to 2 1/2 pounds each)

Freshly ground black pepper

(Gravy ingredients--you don't need to make a gravy if you don't want to)

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour (I use brown rice flour here)

1/4 cup apple or regular brandy (recommended: Calvados)

2 to 3 cups apple cider (I use 2, and 1 cup chicken stock)

Salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Oil a roasting pan and set it aside.

Put the onion into the bowl of a mini food processor. Using a vegetable peeler, peel the zest from the lemon in thin strips, being careful not to cut into the bitter white pith. Add the lemon zest to the food processor and reserve the whole lemon for another use. Chop the onion and lemon zest until fine. Add the sage, parsley, olive oil, and 1 teaspoon salt and pulse until it forms a coarse paste.

Put 2 of the bay leaves and the butter into a small pan and heat over medium-low heat until the butter is bubbling. Remove from the heat and set aside.

Put the turkey breasts on a work surface. Carefully run your fingers between the skin and the flesh from 1 end, being careful not to pull it completely off, creating a pocket. Season the turkey breasts generously with salt and pepper. Stuff half of the herb paste under the skin of each breast, and spread it evenly under the skin. Transfer the breasts to the roasting pan, and slide 2 bay leaves underneath each one. (The heat of the pan will release the bay leaf oils and flavor the breast.) Using a pastry brush, baste the breasts with half of the bay butter. Place the turkey in the oven and immediately decrease the temperature to 400 degrees F. After 20 minutes, baste the turkey breasts with the remaining butter, and roast for an additional 20 to 25 minutes, until cooked through, and a thermometer placed in the thickest part of the breast registers 170 degrees F.

Remove from the oven, transfer to a platter, cover, and let rest for 10 minutes before carving while you make the gravy.

Put the roasting pan over the burner on medium heat. Sprinkle the flour over the pan juices, and cook, stirring, for a few minutes. Add the apple brandy, and scrape the pan to lift the bits that are stuck to the bottom. Cook for a minute to burn off the alcohol, then, while stirring, pour in the apple cider. Bring to a simmer, and stir until thickened. Season with salt and pepper.

Slice the turkey breast on the diagonal, and serve with warm gravy.

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Maybe you guys can come up with something that I haven't thought of.

Are you referring to solutions to your in-law problem or to food?

My initial response to the former assumed these were people of good will. But given your discussion of how they play favorites, even among their children, you are probably right that confrontation would just make things worse. Do you think they are purposefully trying to upset you? If so, the best idea would be to seem completely oblivious of the fact and stay in good humor -- that'll drive 'em crazy :rolleyes:

Or perhaps there is something else involved with this food fixation of theirs. Are they overweight or do they have health problems that could be caused or hurt by how they eat? If so, they could get defensive around anyone who eats differently or the absolute and mandatory gustatory delight of their current diet could be how they handle it. As in, "I couldn't eat differently -- what I eat now is so delicious and everything else tastes bad, those studies are all conflicting, blah, blah, blah" I'm thinking of the folks that would rather take pills, have heart surgery, or the like rather than change their diet one bit -- the last would be too "radical." OK, now I'm veering off into MY family now :rolleyes:

Foodwise, I can see lots of things you don't list, but maybe you've tried them and had problems. Veggie-wise, how are you with other things like: brussels sprouts, okra, other greens (cabbage, bok choy, kale, collards, chard, etc.), sweet potatoes or other root veggies (like carrots & parsnips), mushrooms, green beans, winter squash, sprouts, broccolini, eggplant, artichokes, peas, avocado, or beets. (I'm probably leaving some out ... I just took a mental trip down the produce aisle :lol: ) You don't have many fruits listed so I guess those are a problem -- I take it you have tried mango, cranberries, pomegranates, and others? If you can do one dried fruit (raisins), perhaps you could do some others? There are even dried vegetables you can sprinkle on salads and the like -- do they bother you?

Have you tried blending veggies and/or fruits into smoothies? This might make them easier to digest.

How are you with seeds -- pumpkin, sunflower, flax, sesame (mmm, tahini), poppy, hemp? I take it all nuts are out.

I'll take your word for it that you can't handle any grains, even the more obscure ones. (You did rinse your quinoa first, right? It has a natural, bitter coating to keep the insects away. One has to rinse thoroughly ... if you didn't, I could see how it might not agree with you.) And you know that wild rice is not really a kind of rice? Recently I've been doing more with millet and I plan to order some amaranth and teff. But if you can't have them, you can't.

Have you tested all legumes? I assume peanuts, soy, and beans are out. But sometimes folks can react to some legumes but not all of them. How are you with lentils? There are several different kinds and they are very flexible.

Can you handle nondairy, nonsoy, nonnut milks, like rice or hemp?

Let's see what else I can think of --

Chocolate? (Always first in my mind)

Honey?

Coconut -- the flesh, the milk, and/or the oil?

Maple syrup?

Hot peppers, hot sauces, assorted salsas?

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I am really not doing well with family dinners. Thanksgiving was hell. I can handle not eating Turkey, mashed potato and gravy pretty well, even watching the others eat the stuff (while eating my own food), but my husbands family just LOVES food. So they talk about food almost all the time.

The whole stinking dinner it was all gourmet food talk. Brie cheese with apricots (not that that sounds all that great, but still..I liked Brie now and then and can never have it again.) It was in great detail on how to make it and such. They have like cooking dates every other weekend.

On top of things it leaves me with nothing to talk about with them. They just don't care about my situation or how it might be like for me to sit there feeling left out even without all that talk.

I tried to talk about traveling with one of the members and that all got shot down with "what would we eat in that country", "vegetarian food isn't real food" (I am not a vegetarian, but I don't eat lots of meat because I don't do well on it.) and I can't remember the rest. It was all about food anyways.

I cried a bit in the bathroom actually. Stupid people.

Anyone have such a nice family as mine?

I just needed to rant. I think people understand here more than any other place.

There is a birthday today and they are all gonna have hamburgers and cake and talk food. I am sure. I have a real hard time feeling part of the family. (It is my husbands family.) Not sure what to do, or even if there is anything I CAN do. Just be strong. Nice to get some understanding some place though. From this place. Others like me.

End rant. Thanks for listening.

Jenny :rolleyes:;)

(I should add that my husband wasn't it that talk very much and not all the others either. But the loudest and the biggest. That was enough for making things hard.)

Jenny, I am so sorry you're having such a tough time with your family. Families can be that way even without the diet issues. I have read some really great suggestions from our friends here.

I don't recall seeing that you can't do dairy. Have you tried making a crustless quiche from eggs, milk, cheese, ham, and spinach? I have only been at this for 3 weeks now but honestly, I'm not having too many problems dealing with cravings. Perhaps that is because I am diabetic and have dealt with 'diet' issues for a long time. This is just a new chapter to a very old story for me.

I really dislike the word diet when it is used to describe our situation. To me, I associate the word 'diet' as a temporary change in an attempt to lose or gain weight so when we use the term 'gluten-free diet'- I think that our situation gets lumped together with "Atkins", "South Beach", and any other of today's latest diet fads and as a result we are not taken seriously by many including family and friends. For instance, when I tell people I can't have something because I am diabetic, they accept that that is a permanent lifetime condition that I HAVE to follow to live and remain healthy. Because many people have never even heard of Celiac or gluten intolerance (myself included up until 3 weeks ago) they just assume that this is a choice we are making and don't understand the impact that it has on every minute of every day of our lives. I cannot imagine any day in the future for me that food will not have to be the primary focus of my life and that just sucks! Obviously for your family, food is the primary focus of their lives too but for very different reasons.

I really liked the suggestion about pleading and enlisting their help to come up with menus that you can eat.

What about watching the cooking network and trying to 'customize' some of their recipes to be gluten free. This would be something you could discuss at dinner. Ask your relatives for their food expertise on what things could be substituted in a recipe that you really like. I'm guessing that you might be surprised at what they come up with. They may get really excited about researching what you can have and learning more about it so they can help. Then ask them to help you test the meals that you come up with to see if it passes the 'food expert' test. In my experience most people respond very positively to a "what would you do?" question because they feel needed and respected. I wish you luck. I checked out some books from the library on allergy free cooking today that includes no dairy, nuts, gluten or eggs, so if I see something yummy looking that looks like it will fit your dietary menu, I will pass it along.

Hathor; just as an aside, I tried the recipe you gave me for the hot grain cereal and it was wonderful. My family even likes it. I used several grains together: brown basamati rice, amaranth, whole buckwheat groats, millet, quinoa and teff. Cooked them all together overnight with a dash of cinnamon tossed in and it is amazing with a little yogurt, brown sugar, walnuts and craisins. Called my baby grandson Helen Keller because he kept coming back to share with me.

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Here is a Rachael Ray recipe for herb roasted turkey breast. I make this all the time with chicken breast, too--it cooks more quickly than the turkey breast. Substitute olive oil for the butter that goes under the skin, and use chicken broth instead of butter for basting, or just skip the basting part.

You can leave out the lemon peel if you think it will make you sick (but lemon peel is gluten-free, and it is in some herb and spice mixtures, so maybe you can tolerate it). You can skip the gravy part, too--it IS a good gravy, but the turkey/chicken is SO good, it doesn't need the gravy. (I use brown rice flour to make the gravy, but I think rice isn't on your list of edible foods, right?)

I notice that there is one cereal you can eat. What are the ingredients? Perhaps whatever grain that is in the cereal is something you might soon be able to tolerate as an ingredient in other things as well?

Anyway, here is the recipe:

1 small (golf-ball sized) onion, peeled and coarsely chopped

1 lemon, scrubbed clean

12 fresh sage leaves

Large handful fresh flat-leaf parsley (about 1/2 cup, from 12 stems)

3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for oiling pan

1 teaspoon salt, plus more as needed

6 fresh bay leaves

4 tablespoons butter

2 boneless turkey breast halves, skin on (about 2 to 2 1/2 pounds each)

Freshly ground black pepper

(Gravy ingredients--you don't need to make a gravy if you don't want to)

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour (I use brown rice flour here)

1/4 cup apple or regular brandy (recommended: Calvados)

2 to 3 cups apple cider (I use 2, and 1 cup chicken stock)

Salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Oil a roasting pan and set it aside.

Put the onion into the bowl of a mini food processor. Using a vegetable peeler, peel the zest from the lemon in thin strips, being careful not to cut into the bitter white pith. Add the lemon zest to the food processor and reserve the whole lemon for another use. Chop the onion and lemon zest until fine. Add the sage, parsley, olive oil, and 1 teaspoon salt and pulse until it forms a coarse paste.

Put 2 of the bay leaves and the butter into a small pan and heat over medium-low heat until the butter is bubbling. Remove from the heat and set aside.

Put the turkey breasts on a work surface. Carefully run your fingers between the skin and the flesh from 1 end, being careful not to pull it completely off, creating a pocket. Season the turkey breasts generously with salt and pepper. Stuff half of the herb paste under the skin of each breast, and spread it evenly under the skin. Transfer the breasts to the roasting pan, and slide 2 bay leaves underneath each one. (The heat of the pan will release the bay leaf oils and flavor the breast.) Using a pastry brush, baste the breasts with half of the bay butter. Place the turkey in the oven and immediately decrease the temperature to 400 degrees F. After 20 minutes, baste the turkey breasts with the remaining butter, and roast for an additional 20 to 25 minutes, until cooked through, and a thermometer placed in the thickest part of the breast registers 170 degrees F.

Remove from the oven, transfer to a platter, cover, and let rest for 10 minutes before carving while you make the gravy.

Put the roasting pan over the burner on medium heat. Sprinkle the flour over the pan juices, and cook, stirring, for a few minutes. Add the apple brandy, and scrape the pan to lift the bits that are stuck to the bottom. Cook for a minute to burn off the alcohol, then, while stirring, pour in the apple cider. Bring to a simmer, and stir until thickened. Season with salt and pepper.

Slice the turkey breast on the diagonal, and serve with warm gravy.

Thank you! I am gonna try that one for sure.

I haven't done well with citrus fruits, but maybe I can try a little and see what happens.

The gravy is out when I am allergic to apple.

The cereal has rice in it and for some reason I can handle that one and the bars which has rice too. But when I eat regular rice I get nauseas. It is strange. Ricemilk gives me a stomach ache and nauseas. I think the only brand I have been able to find has a bean in it too, so that didn't help.

Maybe rice will be something I can get back too with time.

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She did say she couldn't do casein, so that cuts out dairy, at least from cows. With a casein intolerance, some can handle milk products from other animals, particularly goats. Some can't. For me and some others, it is variable. I've had some and not reacted, but the last time I tried, I got sick.

I don't remember what was said about eggs. I get so sick from eggs, sicker than with anything else, I guess I just blanked out on that possibility ...

Silk, I'm glad you like the recipe. I tried it this morning made with a little less liquid and I liked it even more. I was throwing bits of all sorts of leftover grains in there; it is a nice way to clean out one's cupboard :lol: I added a little risotto rice -- I think this is one reason it turned out so creamy. I left out the salt. I don't know why the recipe would need it and it didn't seem to make a difference.

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Are you referring to solutions to your in-law problem or to food?

My initial response to the former assumed these were people of good will. But given your discussion of how they play favorites, even among their children, you are probably right that confrontation would just make things worse. Do you think they are purposefully trying to upset you? If so, the best idea would be to seem completely oblivious of the fact and stay in good humor -- that'll drive 'em crazy :rolleyes:

Or perhaps there is something else involved with this food fixation of theirs. Are they overweight or do they have health problems that could be caused or hurt by how they eat? If so, they could get defensive around anyone who eats differently or the absolute and mandatory gustatory delight of their current diet could be how they handle it. As in, "I couldn't eat differently -- what I eat now is so delicious and everything else tastes bad, those studies are all conflicting, blah, blah, blah" I'm thinking of the folks that would rather take pills, have heart surgery, or the like rather than change their diet one bit -- the last would be too "radical." OK, now I'm veering off into MY family now :rolleyes:

Foodwise, I can see lots of things you don't list, but maybe you've tried them and had problems. Veggie-wise, how are you with other things like: brussels sprouts, okra, other greens (cabbage, bok choy, kale, collards, chard, etc.), sweet potatoes or other root veggies (like carrots & parsnips), mushrooms, green beans, winter squash, sprouts, broccolini, eggplant, artichokes, peas, avocado, or beets. (I'm probably leaving some out ... I just took a mental trip down the produce aisle :lol: ) You don't have many fruits listed so I guess those are a problem -- I take it you have tried mango, cranberries, pomegranates, and others? If you can do one dried fruit (raisins), perhaps you could do some others? There are even dried vegetables you can sprinkle on salads and the like -- do they bother you?

Have you tried blending veggies and/or fruits into smoothies? This might make them easier to digest.

How are you with seeds -- pumpkin, sunflower, flax, sesame (mmm, tahini), poppy, hemp? I take it all nuts are out.

I'll take your word for it that you can't handle any grains, even the more obscure ones. (You did rinse your quinoa first, right? It has a natural, bitter coating to keep the insects away. One has to rinse thoroughly ... if you didn't, I could see how it might not agree with you.) And you know that wild rice is not really a kind of rice? Recently I've been doing more with millet and I plan to order some amaranth and teff. But if you can't have them, you can't.

Have you tested all legumes? I assume peanuts, soy, and beans are out. But sometimes folks can react to some legumes but not all of them. How are you with lentils? There are several different kinds and they are very flexible.

Can you handle nondairy, nonsoy, nonnut milks, like rice or hemp?

Let's see what else I can think of --

Chocolate? (Always first in my mind)

Honey?

Coconut -- the flesh, the milk, and/or the oil?

Maple syrup?

Hot peppers, hot sauces, assorted salsas?

hehe I was referring to the food. I really think I can't do much about the relatives.

They are all over weight. Some more than others, but weight has always been a problem and always will be I am sure.

In some ways they are people of good will, if they are in the right mood, but some are just really selfish. My sister in law is the most selfish person I have ever met actually. She is the type that talks to you about her small problems for a lengthy time and then you have some that are way worse.

She was so upset that two of her friends forgot to call her on her birthday when we were all there having a party for her and she had gotten tons of gifts. AND she completely forgot my 30th birthday a couple of months earlier. They all did except my mother in law. So she sat there and complained on her birthday to me...and she had completely forgotten mine. It is just bizarre.

She used to use me as a trash can for her problems. She would come over and just talk and complain about everything and when I finally felt I couldn't handle it (I started getting really sick with the Celiac at that time and could hardly get out of bed)....she got very sour about it.

She is the worst one, but they tend to think of themselves first and have a very hard time to imagine what it is like for others I feel.

Yeah and my sister in law is the one who, told me Celiac isn't a permanent thing because she had read and been told that the body just needs to rest from it a while and then you can start eating it again. I told her that was wrong and told her what I knew..and she got mad and kinda started yelling her point out. Yeah. (freeeak!) ;)

Food: I get really bad from Brussle sprouts and cabbage. I have tried them several times and I always wake up at night and feel really nauseas after. Haven't tried the others in that group yet.

Avocado= very nauseas just from a tab bit, tried many times

carrots= been allergic since I was a kid, had that confirmed by allergy test

Stone fruits/drupes (apple, plum, apricot, cherries, almonds, peach, mango...) =allergies, which is a bummer Strangely enough I can eat olive oil, blackberry and coconut.

Sweet potatoes and yams gives me heartburn. I actually cut those out of my diet about 1 month and a half ago. Made a big difference actually.

I need to try cranberries. I wonder if the bars I eat have them maybe...not sure.

mushrooms, green beans, sprouts, peas = didn't work, gives heartburn and nausea. Stomach ache.

winter squash, eggplant, artichokes = need to try those

I have no blender, but I should try the smoothie thing. That is a great idea!

Nuts are all out. Allergy.

Been trying to find pumpkin and sunflower seeds that are safe forever, but they are all from a factory that produces things I can't have. I tried a sunflower seed from a place that had soynuts in the factory too and that didn't work. I was sick for days. So if anyone knows of safe ones let me know.

Pumpkin seeds I can make of course. Is it safe to make in an oven that constantly gets used with gluten and butter?

Need to look into poppy and sesame too.

The Very berry bars has flax and sunflower seeds in them so I get some there but it would be great to be able to eat seeds on their own. I miss that and both my husband and I have been looking around and calling places. No luck so far.

Haven't tried hemp at all. I should look into that. So there is hemp milk?

I tried rice milks and that didn't work. The only brand I have been able to find has a bean in it though.

Not tried lentils.

I did rinse the Quinoa and the rice even. No luck. It's like I can eat one meal of it and the next time I get sick from it. Not as bad as when I get gluten, dairy and soy in to my system, but it is no fun to feel nauseas and have a stomach ache.

I have tried Enjoy Life

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She did say she couldn't do casein, so that cuts out dairy, at least from cows. With a casein intolerance, some can handle milk products from other animals, particularly goats. Some can't. For me and some others, it is variable. I've had some and not reacted, but the last time I tried, I got sick.

I don't remember what was said about eggs. I get so sick from eggs, sicker than with anything else, I guess I just blanked out on that possibility ...

Silk, I'm glad you like the recipe. I tried it this morning made with a little less liquid and I liked it even more. I was throwing bits of all sorts of leftover grains in there; it is a nice way to clean out one's cupboard :lol: I added a little risotto rice -- I think this is one reason it turned out so creamy. I left out the salt. I don't know why the recipe would need it and it didn't seem to make a difference.

Yep, can't do dairy.

I haven't tried goats milk actually. I get real sick from dairy so I have been a coward with the goats milk.

I'll have to force myself to try it one day here.

Egg is a mystery to me. According to Enterolab I am supposedly not intolerant to it and I can eat them sometimes, but then suddenly get ill the next. I have gone back to eating egg many times and always with the same results.

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Oh dear....

If it makes you feel better, my in-laws are just as bad - if not worse than yours!

I understand 100% how you feel (re: the in-laws). Mine also have a hard time understanding things that they themselves have never experienced firsthand and they cannot imagine what it is like for me. Not to mention that they don't really believe me when I say I'm gluten intolerant - they are under the impression that I'm randomly making stuff up just to be dramatic, or just to be annoying.

Sigh.

I got pretty sick the last time I ate at the in-laws and I have (silently) declared that I will never go back there and eat - though I just realized that I already committed to spending New Years Eve with them this year. I would cook my own food, but the biggest problem I have is that the in-laws' kitchen is like, The House Of Gluten - crumbs EVERYWHERE (they're a big family, so mom-in-law spends lots of time cooking for everyone). Plus mom-in-law would never give me a separate area where I could store my own pots and pans, so...

As for your strict diet - do you have a steamer? I tend to eat a lot of steamed fish or chicken, and vegetables. I don't really mind it plain, though sometimes I will use some herbs, or just some salt and pepper. I've also been REALLY into soups these last few weeks - it's the only thing I've been eating for 2 weeks straight. I just put in turnips, an onion, a little bit of garlic, carrots, leeks, and some chicken, then some salt and pepper. Sometimes I will add some rice noodles too.

Good luck with everything...

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