Anyone Deal With This?

[FlourShopGirl]

So it's week 4 of this diet, no results but I am still trying. I haven't ben confirmed with Celiac, just a borderline IGA level down. Years of suffering, I am trying this diet and seeing if it helps.

My husband and I go to a charity function every year with our company. It's revolved around dinner, a very very expenisve dinner which my father pays for. I HAVE to go to represent our newly inherited company (my husband and I) and it's been a tradition for many years. When we were told of the annual invite, my husband mentioned to my father about the concern of gluten-free items and of course my step-mother seemed upset. They mentioned being there being a meat-less menu but that obviously is not the same. Then it came down to "Don't eat but still go or bring a snack bar".

The ball is in the city, at awesome old hotel. I literally feel like a queen for the night in gown. I know I have to go but my dad and step-mom's lack of understanding upset me. It was more my step-mom from what my husband told me.

What happens if I eat gluten? Do I lose the 4 weeks of trying to be free of it? I don't think I am at the point of getting sick from it (i.e.- vomitting). And I still think I might have just IBS but I have such severe IBS, it could be something more. Anyone deal with family like this? I feel frustrated and confused on what to so. I guess I could just order the filet by itself...

[Ursa Major]

You know, there is really no such a thing as IBS as a final diagnosis. The bowel is irritated by SOMETHING, which may or may not be gluten, or it could be gluten plus other intolerances. Or you may even have Lyme Disease.

Your father and stepmother are being extremely inconsiderate. Can't you call the hotel and ask to talk to a manager? That is what I would do (and have done), to see if they couldn't arrange for some of the menu items to be made gluten-free, just for you. They could serve them in such a way that most people wouldn't even notice (you would need to let them know discreetly who you are when you get there). I've been there and done it.

Expensive hotels will gladly accommodate you, and won't even consider it too much trouble. They are used to people being on vegetarian diets and low carb diets etc., which are even CHOICES. Your diet would be looked upon as a medical necessity. Believe me, they would rather help you be safe than you being sick.

It isn't your stepmother who is trying to avoid being sick. Her lack of understanding shows how much she cares. You can't make yourself sick just to avoid upsetting her. Let her be upset if she chooses to be. It is entirely her problem.

The reason you aren't getting any better could be because you may need to eliminate dairy and soy as well, and maybe other things.

If you want to really know if gluten is your problem (and you want to also find out if dairy, soy, eggs are things you are intolerant to), then it would be wise to spend the money and be tested by Open Original Shared Link. I found it was well worth the money to know that I was right in suspecting that my youngest daughter was intolerant to gluten. Her blood work came back negative, but we found out through Enterolab that she had fairly severe malabsorption and was gluten intolerant (we already knew that she was casein intolerant).

[FlourShopGirl]

I did ask for the number of the chef who caters it and I still haven't gotten an answer but I will call the main event and see what they can do. I guess I was upset how family was treating me. I have a feeling my huband's mother will be the same way. She announced several times how we have to eat close due to "my stomach" and it hurt my feelings because she suffered from IBS for years and got over it.

I haven't taken out dairy from my diet. I am having trouble with that. Right now it seems like the only thing making food enjoyable is dairy with the cheeses, etc. I used to really love food and I am having trouble loving it now. I agree, though, it could other things.

I will look into the lab you sent me. Do you have to be on gluten to get it???

[Ursa Major]

No, the Enterolab testing is still accurate up to a year after eliminating gluten. Which is one of the great things about it.

You know, most people who wouldn't get better on a gluten-free diet found that it wasn't working because dairy kept them from getting better (and often soy as well).

When your villi are damaged you can't digest dairy and absolutely need to eliminate it for at least a few months to see if the gluten-free diet will help.

So, that could be it.

[psipsina]

You can only control yourself. I've found its best to stop worrying how everyone else will feel about my medical needs and invest that energy in making sure my medical needs are taken care of. Its not like this is some fad diet . . . there are real medical consequences to me getting glutened and I don't care who's feelings get hurt by me watching out for myself . .. thats totally their issue not mine. It happens frequently enough through mistakes so I don't need to go an do it on purpose since if you get it too often its just like you never went on the gluten-free diet in the first place. I've had to learn to stop seeking other people's validation and just know that I'm doing what needs to be done for my body . . . it was a hard lesson to learn. When I was first diagnosed I was embarrassed to even ask a waiter about food choices but I've learned that I can't expect anyone else to watch out for me so I have to step up and do it for myself. On those rare occasions that someone has been uncaring about my situation I chalk it up to their issue not mine since I can't imagine being that way about any of my friends medical needs.

[FlourShopGirl]

I also felt strange asking a hostess about gluten-free and now I don't care. It was hard for some reason and even now I still get the "what?" kinda expression but I just say "I'm allergic to wheat"... that seems to help. You are right though- this is about me- not them and I don't wan to eat gluten on purpose.

[Wonka]

I think that this is an illness that is very hard for those that do not have it, to understand. Most people just don't understand how sick we get when we have even a minute exposure to gluten. It often appears to those without the condition that we are just acting obsessive compulsive. Your father, stepmother, mother in law and others will need time to really get how serious this for your health (they may never get it but over time they may). The bottom line is, it doesn't matter what others think. You will have to be your own advocate. There is nothing wrong with calling the hotel until you feel satisfied that you will have a meal that won't make you sick. Tell them that you get an immediate reaction and that you will be very sick in their restaurant if you eat food tainted with gluten. They will not want that to happen. It's bad for business.

I second the others who have said to stop dairy. Keep your diet simple in the beginning. Simple vegies, salads a grill piece of meat/fish. It's not forever. Once your gut/villi heal you will start to produce the enzymes for breaking down the milk sugars and you will be able to add milk products back to your diet.

[kbtoyssni]

I see no reason why they can't make you a gluten-free dinner. It should matter the reason for it (i.e. that you just suspect celiac). I find expensive places are best for gluten-free because they have a chef, and they make everything from free ingredients so it's a lot easier for them to whip up something for you that isn't on the menu. Please don't eat gluten. It is never worth it if you're a celiac.