Feeling A Little Down

[FoxersArtist]

I was diagnosed with celiac a little less than a month ago after a huge struggle with my health. I had managed 3 pregnancies with two live births in the past 3 years before finding out about celiac but they took a major toll on me and my babies. With two out of the three pregnancies I hemorrhaged - once while taking blood thinners and nearly died from it. One pregnancy miscarried and I had pre term labor with all three pregnancies - so much that I was forced to be on bedrest for most of the pregnancies. During one pregnancy, my whole left leg turned into a giant blood clot which left me hospitalized for over a month and partly crippled in that leg now. Because of the clotting, I had to give myself subcutanious injections of blood thinners for the entire course of the last pregnancy but even still, I formed clots. Both of my miracle babies were born premature and one had complications after birth. They were both low birth weight babies despite the fact that I tried stuffing myself while pregnant (and never gained a pound!)

Each pregnancy was taking a huge toll on my health and after our little daughter was born (7 months ago) hubby and I milled over the idea of having me "fixed." We had never believed in sterilization as an option before and really wanted to have more kids, but we decided that it would be better for our 2 kids to have their mom, rather than try to have more kids who would end up with no mom at all. We talked, and talked and agonized and prayed and talked some more. We decided to have the procedure done - a type that is non reversable and very effective, for my health and my family. I had a hard time accepting it, but decided to be brave for my family.

Now that I know I have celiac disease I have been reading a lot about how it can cause pre term labor issues and low birth weights. It was likely not the cause of being hypercoagulant and hemorrhaging...but it was the cause of SOME of my problems...problems that held a lot of weight in our decision to stop having kids. I can't help but think...wow...what would a pregnancy be like without enduring 25 weeks of contractions? I know it's too late now but I'm feeling a bit guilty and grieving a little...wondering if I made the wrong decision...wondering if there could have been more, despite the clotting/bleeding issues. My Drs. obviously would rally to tell me that I made the best decision for my health, but my heart is having a hard time seeing that reason.

-Anna

[gfgypsyqueen]

Wow you went through a lot during those pregnancies. It sounds like you and the kids are doing well. You are gluten-free now. Do you know if the kids are celiacs too? One of mine is. I know the decision to not have more kids is such a hard choice especially when your kids are young. Combining that decision with the life changing "no more gluten" lifestyle change is really hard on anyone's emotions. Adjusting to the gluten-free life can be really hard at first. Hopefully you'll start feeling better about everything soon. If not, be sure to talk to your husband and Drs about some options and alternatives.

[FoxersArtist]

Our 2 year old is also a celiac, which is really such a blessing because he has been so much better since we discovered his celiac.

-Anna

Wow you went through a lot during those pregnancies. It sounds like you and the kids are doing well. You are gluten-free now. Do you know if the kids are celiacs too? One of mine is. I know the decision to not have more kids is such a hard choice especially when your kids are young. Combining that decision with the life changing "no more gluten" lifestyle change is really hard on anyone's emotions. Adjusting to the gluten-free life can be really hard at first. Hopefully you'll start feeling better about everything soon. If not, be sure to talk to your husband and Drs about some options and alternatives.

[dollamasgetceliac?]

Hi, I am really sorry you are feeling this way, if this is any help to you, I don't know but I have had many misscarages and many health issues comparable to yours in one way or another. I like your describtion of your diseases ... Like... Like.... you have a great sence of humor, and that is good to be funny just laugh it off, so I hope that you know that there is someone out there who went through all that: early contractions, Misscarages, Hystorectomy, just like you.... because of Celiac? Our Doctors, Nurses , people in general need to find out about this Disease.

Best Wishes

[Fiddle-Faddle]

Might adoption be a possibility for you?

[finally diagnosed]

I was diagnosed with celiac a little less than a month ago after a huge struggle with my health. I had managed 3 pregnancies with two live births in the past 3 years before finding out about celiac but they took a major toll on me and my babies. With two out of the three pregnancies I hemorrhaged - once while taking blood thinners and nearly died from it. One pregnancy miscarried and I had pre term labor with all three pregnancies - so much that I was forced to be on bedrest for most of the pregnancies. During one pregnancy, my whole left leg turned into a giant blood clot which left me hospitalized for over a month and partly crippled in that leg now. Because of the clotting, I had to give myself subcutanious injections of blood thinners for the entire course of the last pregnancy but even still, I formed clots. Both of my miracle babies were born premature and one had complications after birth. They were both low birth weight babies despite the fact that I tried stuffing myself while pregnant (and never gained a pound!)

Each pregnancy was taking a huge toll on my health and after our little daughter was born (7 months ago) hubby and I milled over the idea of having me "fixed." We had never believed in sterilization as an option before and really wanted to have more kids, but we decided that it would be better for our 2 kids to have their mom, rather than try to have more kids who would end up with no mom at all. We talked, and talked and agonized and prayed and talked some more. We decided to have the procedure done - a type that is non reversable and very effective, for my health and my family. I had a hard time accepting it, but decided to be brave for my family.

Now that I know I have celiac disease I have been reading a lot about how it can cause pre term labor issues and low birth weights. It was likely not the cause of being hypercoagulant and hemorrhaging...but it was the cause of SOME of my problems...problems that held a lot of weight in our decision to stop having kids. I can't help but think...wow...what would a pregnancy be like without enduring 25 weeks of contractions? I know it's too late now but I'm feeling a bit guilty and grieving a little...wondering if I made the wrong decision...wondering if there could have been more, despite the clotting/bleeding issues. My Drs. obviously would rally to tell me that I made the best decision for my health, but my heart is having a hard time seeing that reason.

-Anna

Hi Anna, I can't tell you that you made a great decision, because it is something that you and your husband only know. But I can tell you that it is great for your children to have a mom now and enjoy what you have, for their are people out there (celiac or not) who will never have the chance to conceive and give birth. I to have had 4 pregnancies and 2 live births. I dealt with hard situations, and miscarriages as well as hemmorages. (nothing as bad as you described) but I see what I have and never regret the decision that I made to have a procedure to prevent me from having more children. You do feel a little ping in your heart when you see new babies, but at the same time, I thank my lucky starts for the two children I have. Someday you will say, I know this is the right decision, but right now you can say. "okay I feel a little guilty", but then look at what you already have and try to move on. Good Luck. Just a little advice from a Celiac .

[Ursa Major]

I also want to say that maybe you could adopt a couple of kids who wouldn't have parents otherwise.

[home-based-mom]

Anna, my heart goes out to you having to make such a gut-wrenching decision, but keep remembering that you made it after much talk and prayer, and you made it based on what you were convinced at the time was the absolute best for your own health and for your family. You cannot beat yourself up with "yeah buts" "what ifs" and "if onlys" because those never solve anything. You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. Your reasoning was sound. Accept your decision and realize that it most likely was indeed the right thing to do.

Adoption was suggested and I agree wholeheartedly. Many people in our church have adopted children - mostly children that were either in their homes as foster children, or were foster children in the homes of friends or relatives and they just fell in love with the kid. Some of my friends were adopted as infants and the world is a better place because of it.

There are many children who need a loving family and your family sounds like it qualifies!

[FoxersArtist]

This really helped me. I guess deciding to stop looking back at the decisions I have made in the past is probably what is most healthy for the present and future. I do know that seeing babies will give me that "ping." Adoption is certainly an option and something that I was super gung-ho about before I had so many bonding issues with our celiac son. I have always been one to accept and love others as family, even if they aren't related and thought that I really had a heart to adopt. But after struggling so much with our son who refused to bond and hearing from others who say that adoption is so hard because there is a frequent lack of bonding, I really became fearful of the idea. I would rather die than to go through that kind of rejection again. If God wants us to adopt, I know he will mend my broken heart and put me in a place where adopting would be a wonderful and healthy experience. That may take some time, though. Thank you all for your support.

-Anna

Anna, my heart goes out to you having to make such a gut-wrenching decision, but keep remembering that you made it after much talk and prayer, and you made it based on what you were convinced at the time was the absolute best for your own health and for your family. You cannot beat yourself up with "yeah buts" "what ifs" and "if onlys" because those never solve anything. You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. Your reasoning was sound. Accept your decision and realize that it most likely was indeed the right thing to do.

Adoption was suggested and I agree wholeheartedly. Many people in our church have adopted children - mostly children that were either in their homes as foster children, or were foster children in the homes of friends or relatives and they just fell in love with the kid. Some of my friends were adopted as infants and the world is a better place because of it.

There are many children who need a loving family and your family sounds like it qualifies!