Adventures In Celiac World

[scotia]

OK, let's hear them...

I know you're out there, with your hilarious, personal stories of the wonderful world of being a Celiac.

Here's one which i don't mind sharing with you, even if it could be construed as embarassing ( for me)...bet you read on now!!!

But hey, life is what you make of it right?

I'm driving home, and the 'urge' hits...oh noooooooooooh...i need to get to a bathroom fast.

I'm on a highway, and the next exit sign, looms before me...well, almost...between that end where I am now, is...railroad tracks..."Oh Nooooooooooo!!!!"

The lights are blinking red, and the pole is coming down...a train is about to arrive...(bet you can imagine my face contorting as I will every nerve ending, to ignore the fact, that there's only 200 or so boxcars...Oh Joy!!!

I start to feel a bead of sweat form on my upper lip, and I'm clenching, (my teeth among other things)...so hard, as the cramp in my gut, begins to become something fierce.

100 gone by, so far so good...only another 100 and we're home free...WRONG!!!

As the last car comes into view the train slows down and halts...right in front of my eyes.

NO!!!...PLEEEZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!...OMG!!!!

Much sweating going on now...finally it starts to move on and the barrier goes up and I floor it...

Almost made it too...won't go into details, suffice it to say, it was a world record time for me getting from my car to the house and into the bathroom before anyone saw me.

The sheer irony of the whole episode was...

The last train car had a big sheaf of wheat on it!!!

Who says God doesn't have a sense of humour!!!

[celiac3270]

Ha, that's funny! I'm tired, so I can't think of any now. Going to bed ...I'll be in Chicago for the next four days.... bye everyone!

[stef-the-kicking-cuty]

I had something funny, too. About two month ago. Well, actually, it was more of a coincidense. I talked in one of the YMCA's, i'm visiting frequently, to the fitness coordinator. They wanted me to make a demonstration for their year-end-show. I agreed, but asked, if I can bring my own food, since I'm a celiac. She asked what that is and I explained it to her. After 10 seconds into explaining she said right away: "Oh, that's what my sister has, too." What a co-incidence...

[Guest Viola]

I hadn't realized this post was here I just wrote my funny story in the 'I want to complain' post

I love the train story, I was just thinking that there is a train in Nelson that goes almost all the way through, and then stops and backs up. I almost thought that's what you were going to say You would have really been in trouble then!

I can remember before I was diagnosed that I figured out where the bathrooms were every ten minutes on the way to town. That's pretty hard to do, because there isn't very much in this valley to stop at.

[Guest nini]

Oh Scotia!!! That is so not funny!!!! I've totally BEEN THERE!!!! Loved the irony of the boxcar with the wheat on it!!! LOL! God does have a sense of humor!

[jenvan]

Great story! Let's see...what are some of mine.... Have to think about it...

[scotia]

hehe...knew it!

How many times have you been offered a cookie...then people go..."Oh sorry..." And then they make that 'screwed up face' like they've offended you...that's my favourite.

Most people are used to my dietary requirements nowadays so it's no big deal.

Scotia

[Sheely]

OK, let's hear them...

I know you're out there, with your hilarious, personal stories of the wonderful world of being a Celiac.

When my son was in high school and not driving yet, I had to drop him off at school every morning (About a 20 minute drive). Having the intestinal problems that I did, I knew where all the bathrooms were along the route.

Well, this one particular day, the abdominal cramps hit me suddenly, but I was already on the beltway and nowhere near a bathroom. I was sweating and nauseous, but determined that I would make it home. I was trying to concentrate on something else, like the song on the radio, and I even did some breathing exercises I remembered from Lamaze class, lol.

The closer I got to home, the worse it got! I was about 1/2 mile from home, and realized that I might not make it. To turn the tables in my favor, I got on my cell phone and prayed that my husband hadn't left for work yet. Yes! He was home! I asked him to please get up, unlock the front door, and hold the door open for me, because every second counts in this situation! When I pulled up in front of the house, there he was standing on the porch holding the door open for me.

I didn't bother to park my car all the way, I just threw it in park, turned the engine off, and tore into the house and up the stairs. As they say on "The Family Guy," it was a photo finish, lol!

Sheila

Maryland

[tarnalberry]

now that's an understanding husband! :-)

[cmom]

You have no idea how close your story is to my own. I have also been in that situation and tried to divert my thoughts AND used the deep breathing technique to calm myself. Have also made the mad rush to the bathroom more than once! It is so great to find out that I am not the only "strange" one in our crazy world!!! Thanks!!!

[cdford]

We have multiple celiac disease folks in our household. It can become a "family plan" to get into the house before one of us loses it. Dad, you park the car and run ahead to unlock the doors. Son number one, you get mom's wheelchair lift down. Son number two, you make sure there are no obstacles between the girls and their respective bathrooms. You get the picture. Everyone has their job and if anyone fails, everyone is in trouble!

[scotia]

HA HA HA cdford, you made me laugh, as did all the replies.

I won free tickets to Mexico once...gave them away.

I thought MEXICO!!!

I can't drink the water never mind eat there.

Of courtse I'm much better prepared to go there now, but this was just after being diagnoesed and I was afraid to travel in case I got Glutened and ended up in hospital, or worse.

My buddy has colitis, and when we worked together, we knew every bathroom within a hundred yards...we laughed about us being on the same crew, and we'd sprint away shouting at our crew to finsish the job, we'd be back.

Great bunch of guys, they totally understood and were 'behind us'...pardon the obvious pun.

Scotia

[mishmish]

Ha! This thread makes me feel so much better...I've never shared this story (or a few others) with anyone cuz, well, I figured that they wouldn't want to know, but I know you guys will appreciate it...

Before I discovered my problems with gluten, I used to get up every morning, go to the bathroom, and have diarrhea. Then I'd be fine and would go running. One morning, I got up, went to the bathroom, and nothing happened...so I decided to go running as usual. I had about twenty minutes left on my run when I began to feel the need for a bathroom and it was way too early in the morning for anything to be open...

Needless to say, that was the fastest I have ever run in my life! I just wish I had been running a race at the time!

[Guest Viola]

If you had been running a race, do you suppose you would have been sensored for illegal gas powered thrust? We really do get ourselves in some strange predicuments don't we? Thank heavens there is lots of big trees where we walk, and we are a long way from town.

[junevarn]

Thank you all so much for sharing those stories! Its good to know that I'm not alone in this. That's happened to me many times. I was in a restaurant once when I had to get up to the bathroom seven times in a row. I was with a good friend. After that I knew I would start throwing up so I apologized and had to drive home. The windows were all the way open to get some air and I just made it home before the vomiting started! Its really hard to concentrate on driving safely when all you want to do is throw up.

I have also left many parties early because of this. It doesn't seem funny at the time though. Hopefully those experiences are behind me, now that I am gluten and dairy free.

Sincerely,

June

[jenvan]

I just posted somewhere else about a recent time where I had to go bad--at the same time my husband had taken our toliet apart. (We have one bathroom). He kept telling me--just a few more minutes, and finally i was like "I have to go now! I'm going to go in a bag in the basement!" He was horrified and said "Nooooooooooo! I don't want to have to throw your poop away!" It worked out in the end and he got the toliet put back together right in time

Another few experiences happened when I was overseas in the Philippines and Hong Kong. In those countries--make sure you carry your toliet paper with you! I got sick one afternoon in Hong Kong--it took a great amount of effort to even find an "american" type toliet (not a whole in the ground !), and when I did, no tp to be found. It wasn't pretty, and I was forced to use my socks to substitute! When I came back to meet the rest of the group, they were all like "Where did your socks go?!"

[Canadian Karen]

Jen,

That story reminded me of my honeymoon! We were over in Paris in Pere Lachaise cemetery, partying at Jim Morrison's gravesite. I had to go to the bathroom REALLY BAD!! When I went into the bathroom, it was one of those stand-up ones!! Gross! It even had little footprints painted on the floor to show you where you are supposed to put your feet! Oh well, at least the graffiti on the walls took my mind off of it...... and of course, no toilet paper either........

Here is a link to show you what kind of party is ALWAYS going on at Jim Morrison's gravesite...... When we were there in 1992, the headstone had already been stolen. His grave is this tiny little thing sandwiched inbetween two rows of gravesites...... you can hardly get in there......

Open Original Shared Link

Karen

[jenvan]

Karen-

That is so classic!! What a story! I bet there is a party going on there all the time!

[Canadian Karen]

Oh yeah, you wouldn't believe it...... As soon as you enter, there is a directory to tell you where to go to all the famous graves.... Where Jim's name was, it was totally rubbed off due to people touching it with their fingers. So we didn't know where it was, but, alas, there was graffiti everywhere on people's tombs etc. saying "Jim - this way...... (with arrow)....." It was kind of sad actually - all those historical gravesites just covered in graffiti. We also went and saw Chopin's gravesite..... (although he doesn't get quite as many visitors as good ole' Jim)...

Karen

[tamara]

The ONLY time I had a sense of humor about this was when we were in Maui. I had been at the beach with my husband and the kids when I knew I needed to return to the hotel room. You know how you intuitively know how much time you have between the first symptom and "lift off", the count down began at the beach so I gathered up the beach towels, the flip flops, magazines. sippy cups, camera, straw hat, sunglasses, spf 30 suntan lotion, beach umbrella and my coverup to make my dedicated walk with a purpose to the hotel room. The shortest path between the two points included the rope bridge across the swimming pool. "I'lI take the shortcut across the bridge and up the steps and get my key and drop all this stuff and I'll make it." About midway across the bridge some darling cherubs on the other end decide to make it a swinging bridge. I am now holding on for dear life trying to inch myself across the bridge while it is rolling like a tilt -a- whirl at the amusement park. Anyone else would have been able to stand there and wait for the blasted fools to stop swinging the bridge, but I am nearing lift off. From a distance I can hear titters of laughter from the lounging Margarita drinkers around the pool. I made it, but later at dinner some of our acquaintances were laughing about the woman in the straw hat and moo- moo carrying an umbrella trying to get across the rope bridge. I never admitted that it was me.

[Guest Viola]

Tamara, you must have looked like a drunken sailor on that bridge. Still, it must have been a bit worrisome for awhile

[Canadian Karen]

Oooooh, I have visions of me if I were put in that situation by some yahoos. My vision involves me turning from Bill Bixby into Lou Ferigno.... they would have gone flying!!!!!

Karen

[cgilsing]

I love everybody's posts! I've never really talked about this stuff with anybody besides my husband before....and as understanding as he is......he just doesn't relate!

I took a job with a company that was to be moving to my town in a few months, but for the time being it was in a town an hour away. I had just got done with lunch when "the urge" struck. I'm pretty shy and have a bit of a problem with public bathrooms. I just couldn't make myself do this at work! I went to my boss an told him I wasn't feeling well. He agreed that I looked bad, given I was dripping sweat and ghost white. He told me to go home. I decided then that I was going to make it home. Amazingly I did! I did the deep breathing, singing to the radio to distract myself, and a lot of speeding (thank god no cops!) I was so exausted by the whole experience that I went to bed right afterwords and slept for 14 hours!

After that I got over my prissyness a bit and resigned to using the bathroom at work if the need presented itself!

[Canadian Karen]

Yep, when I was at work, I learned to flush twice - first as soon as I started going, then at the end after I had wiped. That way, I found the smell didn't really have a chance to "circulate"...... kinda went straight down the tube!!!!!

Karen

[celiac3270]

Yep, when I was at work, I learned to flush twice - first as soon as I started going, then at the end after I had wiped. That way, I found the smell didn't really have a chance to "circulate"...... kinda went straight down the tube!!!!!

Karen

Yes, exactly. I've done that before.