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It is difficult to do the detective work of tracking down hidden sources of cross-contamination. The scenarios you described—the kiss, the dish towel, the toaster, the grandbaby's fingers—are all classic ways those with dermatitis herpetiformis might get glutened, and it's a brutal learning curve that the medical world rarely prepares you for. It is difficult to have to deal with such hyper-vigilance. The fact that you have made your entire home environment, from makeup to cleaners, gluten-free is a big achievement, but it's clear the external world and shared spaces remain a minefield. Considering Dapsone is a logical and often necessary step for many with DH to break the cycle of itching and allow the skin to heal while you continue your detective work; it is a powerful tool to give you back your quality of life and sleep. You are not failing; you are fighting an incredibly steep battle. For a more specific direction, connecting with a dedicated celiac support group (online or locally) can be invaluable, as members exchange the most current, real-world tips for avoiding cross-contamination that you simply won't find in a pamphlet. You have already done the hardest part by getting a correct diagnosis. Now, the community can help you navigate the rest. If you have DH you will likely also want to avoid iodine, which is common in seafoods and dairy products, as it can exacerbate symptoms in some people. This article may also be helpful as it offers various ways to relieve the itch:  

It's very frustrating to be dismissed by medical professionals, especially when you are the one living with the reality of your condition every day. Having to be your own advocate and "fight" for a doctor who will listen is an exhausting burden that no one should have to carry. While that 1998 brochure is a crucial piece of your personal history, it's infuriating that the medical system often requires more contemporary, formal documentation to take a condition seriously. It's a common and deeply unfair situation for those who were diagnosed decades ago, before current record-keeping and testing were standard. You are not alone in this struggle.

Methylprednisolone is sometimes prescribed for significant inflammation of the stomach and intestines, particularly for conditions like Crohn's disease, certain types of severe colitis, or autoimmune-related gastrointestinal inflammation. As a corticosteroid, it works by powerfully and quickly suppressing the immune system's inflammatory response. For many people, it can be very effective at reducing inflammation and providing rapid relief from symptoms like pain, diarrhea, and bleeding, often serving as a short-term "rescue" treatment to bring a severe flare under control. However, experiences can vary, and its effectiveness depends heavily on the specific cause of the inflammation. It's also important to be aware that while it can work well, it comes with potential side effects, especially with longer-term use, so it's typically used for the shortest duration possible under close medical supervision. It's always best to discuss the potential benefits and risks specific to your situation with your gastroenterologist.

Based on what you've described, it is absolutely possible you are dealing with non-celiac gluten sensitivity (NCGS).  Approximately 10x more people have non-celiac gluten sensitivity than have celiac disease, but there isn’t yet a test for NCGS. If your symptoms go away on a gluten-free diet it would likely signal NCGS.   Your situation is a classic presentation: a negative celiac panel but a clear, recurring pattern of symptoms triggered by gluten. The symptoms you listed—particularly the extreme fatigue, bloating, neurological-psychiatric symptoms like depression and anxiety, and even the skin manifestations like facial flushing—are all well-documented in research on NCGS. It's important to know that you are not alone in experiencing this specific combination of physical and emotional reactions. The only way to know for sure is to commit to a strict, 100% gluten-free diet under the guidance of a doctor or dietitian for a period of several weeks to see if your symptoms significantly improve. It is also crucial to rule out other potential causes, so discussing these symptoms with a gastroenterologist is a very important next step.

It took three years and several doctors and many tests, and lots of steroids and other bad medicine that didn’t do anything to finally find a competent doctor to get diagnosed with dermatitis herpetiformis.  I am meticulous about a completely gluten free diet now for more than a year and things were finally getting better until they weren’t.  Who knew that if I fed my dear invalid cousin a hamburger and used the same hand to eat a couple of her gluten free fries that I was cross contaminating myself.  Who knew that if my husband makes a sandwich and leaves crumbs on the counter which I sweep away with a dish towel then wash my hands and dry them on this same dish towel and then touch my lips that I potentially cross contaminated myself.  Who knew that just wiping off the table crumbs could still leave gluten on the table that has to be washed off with soap and water.  Who knew when my husband heats a tortilla by draping it over the toaster that gluten residue is possibly left behind.   Who knew that if my husband eats a gluten product and I kiss him on the lips that I was cross contaminating myself.  Who knew that if I should walk into the bakery to get my gluten free cupcake if they have been mixing up a batch of flour batter and there could be flour particles in the air I could inhale and contaminate myself.  Who knew I needed to be careful that my grand baby shouldn’t put there fingers in my mouth because they just ate a biscuit and I was cross contaminating myself.   Eating gluten free is the easy part.  But know one tells me how to live in the real world filled with gluten contamination just waiting to happen!   There I feel better getting all that off my chest but I feel isolated and alone in this journey. I sleep with a back scratcher, stand in my freezing cold pool, glob on tons of triamcinolone for the rash on my knees, back, bottom, elbows and ankles.  I use bottles of Scalpicine for the extensive rash on my scalp.  All my make up, medications, soaps, shampoos, cleaners, detergents are all gluten free.  But I still have a rash and I fear I will gouge and claw holes in my head and body before I can’t figure out how I am exposing myself to gluten.  I don’t even want to leave the house anymore.  I never eat any food or drink offered me at anyone’s home ever.  I can drink wine and eat potato chips!  Hurray for me, I finally agreed to try Dapsone even though I read it’s hard on your body but if I don’t get some relief am going to have a nervous breakdown from lack of sleep and high anxiety. Can anyone point me in the right direction? Thank you,  Helpless but Hopeful