Irrational Anger

[~alex~]

I just found out that my maternal grandmother died from cancer of the small intestine. I was young when she died so I never really knew in depth about her illness. My grandpa said that she was always pale and anemic and had fertility problems and the doctors didn

[gfpaperdoll]

Hi Alex, I cannot say that I am angry, mostly just saddened. & I continue to be sad for people today that are still not being saved. My mother died of colon cancer & was ill for many years, no one ever figured it out. Checking family history there is a lot of crippling arthritis & the stories still survive in our family about the aunt (now many "greats" added to Aunt) living with relatives & had to be carried to the porch, that kind of thing. Then there were the babies that died in infancy, the ones that died early of cancer.

then I see it in people that I know with early cancers etc. But most people do not want to hear about the diet from me, (although a lot of people that I know have gone gluten-free & gotten tested - positive), including my family, so it goes...

Do you remember in the news Augsut 17, 2007 in Kansas City about the man that threw his wife over the balcony?

well here is some of what I read in the newspaper article: her name was Criste reimer she was 47, she had uterine cancer & neurological problems, numerous health issues, could barely walk, weight dropped to 75 lbs, partly blind, exrensive history of of traumatic brain injury, knee surgeries, neurological disease, hypothyroidism and hydrocephalus, on a lot of medications, April 2006 admitted to hospital after repeated falls over a three week period - doctors noticed a "failure to thrive". She had no medical insurance & the husband could not afford the medical bills of about $800.00 per week. I think the medical community totally failed this woman & she will not be the last...

[missy'smom]

It makes complete sense to me to feel angry when a loved one suffers from something that we know is very treatable. I won't go into a long story but my mother has SUFFERED from this for close to 20 years and it will kill her. I "lost" her when I was 17 and she's been in institutional settings of various kinds since. Her Doctor is in denial and it has done so much damage to her mind and body that I don't know if a diagnosis and the efforts of those responsible for her care will really be too little too late. I've been very angry and upset about it. I wish I could offer advice. The Serenity prayer comes to mind. It's OK to feel angry and I did for about 6 months. I've come to a place of doing the things that I can realistically do and letting go of the rest. I've cried many tears in anger and in sorrow. If I think about it too much I still feel very angry at the people who failed her and sad for my loss and her suffering but I now chose not to dwell on that. I knew that at some point I had to stop mourning and move on and find a way to make peace with it. Sometimes our thoughts and feelings can serve a useful purpose, to help us processs and mourn , to motivate and prepare us for action, etc. But for me, now, these thoughts no longer serve a purpose so I let them go. I'm not repressing. It's different. Maybe it sounds morbid but I pray asking God that she will die a quick and painless death and spend an eternity in peace. This is saddening but also gives me some measure of peace.

I am very sorry for your losses.

[ptkds]

I understand how you feel. I can't pinpoint anyone in my family that may have died from Celiac disease (though I can think of those that had it). But I do get upset with 2 of my grandparents that died from smoking-related diseases. They both smoked for most of their lives. They never got to meet my kids, and that hurts.

But I don't think anger will ever solve anything. The only thing I can think of to do about it is to make sure you are a "Celiac advocate." You need to make sure you spread the word about celiac disease, tell people you meet about it. Maybe talk to your dr's office about putting up a poster in the waiting room with the symptoms of celiac disease. Be an advocate. Staying angry won't help, but doing something about it just may save someone else's life.

ptkds

[Mom23boys]

Hmmmm. You have me wondering now if my grandmother and mom may have had Celiac.

[cyberprof]

Given how hard celiac is to diagnose even now, I guess it is reasonable to expect that 50-100 years ago a lot of celiac diagnoses were missed. That doesn't mean that I think you're wrong to be mad. It is totally understandable.

I don't know which side of my family had the celiac gene or maybe it was both. Both sides were Irish. My one grandfather died of some kind of stomach/intestinal cancer and had stomach troubles all his life. My other grandfather had type I diabetes, was about 100 lbs. the whole of my childhood and also had stomach troubles.

I am focused now on making sure that if my kids (or my nieces/nephews) have it, they get diagnosed in time. My brother had negative tests but went gluten free last month. My sister's doctor refuses to test her. She's a nurse and I can't convince her to try the diet.

I think after my kids are grown (five years) I will volunteer for or start some kind of foundation to promote the research and diagnosis of celiac. It causes so much pain.

I just found out that my maternal grandmother died from cancer of the small intestine. I was young when she died so I never really knew in depth about her illness. My grandpa said that she was always pale and anemic and had fertility problems and the doctors didn

[Katydid]

This thread caught my attention because my celiac husband's mother was always a very sickly woman. Fatigue, headaches, stomach bloating and discomfort, the big D, etc. She was able to do so little that her house was always a shambles. They actually diagnosed her with diverticulitus; and while she died of a heart ailment, there is no doubt in anyone's mind now that she definitely had celiac. Both my husband and his sister are celiac and we often talk about how sad it was that their mother had to feel so ill for so many years, when in fact a change in her diet would have probably resolved most of her health problems. True, many years ago celiac was usually diagnosed by accident rather than by diagnostic measures; but even today, far too many doctors are not considering the possibility of celiac even when presented with typical symptoms.

We can only hope the future holds improvement in a diagnosis with such and easy fix.

[~alex~]

Thanks all for your points of view. I will try to turn my negative emotions into positive action. I realize that being angry at the world is pointless and juvenile. I know I should just try to let go but knowing that and actually doing that are two very different things.

Thanks

[ravenwoodglass]

Thanks all for your points of view. I will try to turn my negative emotions into positive action. I realize that being angry at the world is pointless and juvenile. I know I should just try to let go but knowing that and actually doing that are two very different things.

Thanks

Alex you have a right to be angry and do not denigrate yourself or your feelings.

Many of us had had the realization that our loved ones might still be with us or that our lives might not have been forever restricted if the medical community was not quite so drug oriented and actually looked for the cause of the problems rather than just treating the symptoms.

It is normal to be angry and to be sad and it is certainly not a juvinile emotion. Your right though you do need to turn that anger and sadness into a motivation to do something to help the problem. First you need to find a way to let off the steam though, don't just try to bury it. Scream, yell, throw stuff that won't break, do Karate, dance, wrestle anything physical that can allow you to safely release that pent up energy. Then perhaps you could do as much research as you can and speak up at every opportunity you get, whether it is in the form of a project for school or talking casually to others who ask you about your 'odd' foods.

We can't change the past, oh how I wish we could. All we can do is try to change the future, we do that one little step and one person at a time, starting with ourselves.