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positivenrgfairy

My Big Mistake

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I have been so guilty lately, of not asking what I'm eating because I am too embarrassed. Even in Austin, a pretty cool city, when I do ask about it people stare at me like I'm an alien.

im def. having a reaction right now bc I was too ashamed to ask.

I don't really need advice, just wanted to talk it out. I know it's my own fault.

I have been telling restaurants that I'm allergic to wheat, which doesn't help anything bc there's gluten in stuff that is wheat free.

but you all know that.

This is not my forte in life, and I don't like being thrust into a situation when I have to stand out and demand special treatment. It's not my style, man. It makes me so uncomfortable asking people to make special preparations. and my husband and I go out a lot, or we used to. I guess we should just stay in. feels like im having a neverending reaction.

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I was there once. I am not there anymore.

When you are at a restaurant, it is their job to prepare food according to your needs. That is what you are paying them for. They can only do this if you clearly tell them what those needs are.

I have found that it makes a difference how you communicate. Most people have no idea what "gluten" is--they confuse it with glucose or glutamate (both of which are gluten-free). I explain that I have a sensitivity (I sometime use the word "allergy" even though it is not correct) to wheat, rye and barley, and so must avoid all flours and breads. It amazes me how many people don't realize that flour is wheat, or who think that white bread is not made from wheat. :huh:

Having said all that, there is definitely a better chance of having your needs understood at an independent restaurant with a chef, or a celiac-aware chain like Outback, than at a low-end high-volume chain establishment.

You shouldn't need to be embarrassed, but you will need to be expressive about your needs.


Peter

Diagnosis by biopsy of practically non-existent villi; gluten-free since July 2000. I was retested five years later and the biopsy was normal. You can beat this disease!

Type 1 (autoimmune) diabetes diagnosed in March 1986

Markham, Ontario (borders on Toronto)

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator since 2007

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Ugghh.... I hear ya. I'm the same way. I don't like buggin' people to go out of the way for our sake and even when we do, I still worry about the cross contamination. <_< We've just decided that on the rare occasion that we do go out, that we'll bring something for my daughter. I'm waiting for some restraunt to have an issue with us bring ''outside food''! lol


Mum to six year old Raven with Celiac and Cystic Fibrosis.

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I have been so guilty lately, of not asking what I'm eating because I am too embarrassed. Even in Austin, a pretty cool city, when I do ask about it people stare at me like I'm an alien.

im def. having a reaction right now bc I was too ashamed to ask.

I don't really need advice, just wanted to talk it out. I know it's my own fault.

I have been telling restaurants that I'm allergic to wheat, which doesn't help anything bc there's gluten in stuff that is wheat free.

but you all know that.

This is not my forte in life, and I don't like being thrust into a situation when I have to stand out and demand special treatment. It's not my style, man. It makes me so uncomfortable asking people to make special preparations. and my husband and I go out a lot, or we used to. I guess we should just stay in. feels like im having a neverending reaction.

Im in the same boat as you now... I am SOOOOOO incredibly self conscious about my gluten intolerance! Do some role playing and eventually you will get the hang of it! I am finally getting up the nerve to tell my fellow employees at work the reason I dont eat the potluck food and the pizzas that they order! The more often you talk about it, the easier it gets.

Good luck!

Haley

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I am finally getting up the nerve to tell my fellow employees at work the reason I dont eat the potluck food and the pizzas that they order! The more often you talk about it, the easier it gets.

My goodness, yes, you must talk about it. It is not something to be ashamed of and keep to yourself. Yes, you are drawing attention to yourself, but you do have to get over it, and yourself, and just accept that that is the way it is. And with practice it does get easier.


Neroli

"Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted." - Albert Einstein

"Life is not weathering the storm; it is learning to dance in the rain"

"Whatever the question, the answer is always chocolate." Nigella Lawson

------------

Caffeine free 1973

Lactose free 1990

(Mis)diagnosed IBS, fibromyalgia '80's and '90's

Diagnosed psoriatic arthritis 2004

Self-diagnosed gluten intolerant, gluten-free Nov. 2007

Soy free March 2008

Nightshade free Feb 2009

Citric acid free June 2009

Potato starch free July 2009

(Totally) corn free Nov. 2009

Legume free March 2010

Now tolerant of lactose

Celiac.com - Celiac Disease Board Moderator

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I know, I know...my husband and I went on a date last night and I had the manager and chef at the table, and I just kept saying, "I'm sorry". I hate all the attention and drama (and sending the waitress back and forth). I've been really researching the internet and finding all the local and chain restaraunts that offer specific menus. I've also called ahead when my team at work went out to eat to avoid making a scene, and the darn chef kept coming out to check on me and talk to me. I felt so embarassed, but he was really excited to accomodate me :) I think the more places we go, the easier it'll be. Finding those menus online has really helped a lot. It is really annoying, but I'd rather not be sick. And, I'm finding that a lot of the wait-staff at places we go are already knowledgeable... so, you aren't the first to ask...my biggest beef is that at a lot of places, they always recommend fish! Me no likey! (But, I almost didn't ask last night and ordered chicken I thought would be ok, until the chef told me the marinade had gluten in it. I'm glad I asked!)

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A month ago I went out with friends and I definitely did not want to draw atention or make a big deal! I didn't want to be different - I just wanted to have fun. I ended up studying their menu on line and contacting them a few days ahead of time. Basically I picked possible selections and reviewed these with the staff, to ensure all ingredients were gluten free. They were knowledgeable and helpful and by preparing ahead, I was able to relax and enjoy.

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I have a shellfish allergy and am also shy to bring this up and stand out at restaurants. What I often do is look over the menu and see what I want quickly, then get up to use the washroom and on the way stop the waitress to make her aware of my allergy and ask that she lets the chef know. This way I don't feel like I am making a big fuss in front of everybody, but I am still being safe. Don't worry you'll get used to it!

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