Dating And Celiac

[Becksabec]

Has anyone run into issues dating? I really hate it because guys will ask me out to dinner, and usually they have a certain place in mind. And then I have to be like, I'll have to research it or call and see, or I can go to Place A, B or C. Sometimes, I feel like I'm annoying to the person I'm with when I have to ask what's in everything, or ask that my food is made seperately or what not. Has anyone run into this? And if I'm going on a date with someone, when should I do tell them?

[skigirlchar]

me me me!!!

my philosophy is this: i'm upfront w/ them and tell them "do to major allergies (which was the initial issue) and now celiac related issues i can only eat here, here, & here."

i figure if they can't handle it now, why deal w/ getting to know them and then having them walk?

i tend to get the following responses:

1. Wow - a woman who can make up her own mind/knows what she wants. I then still have to be careful in case they think they can order for me.
2. They run. Too bad, so sad. Thanks for not wasting my time.
3. They get really interested in wanting to know what I cannot eat - it gets boring for me, but at least it's something to talk about. I make sure to have a ton of other things to question HIM about. beware - this guy tends to 1)end up telling his friend that you are a high maintenance girl because he doesn't actually LISTEN to you, he just likes to act like he is interested, & 2) he doesn't actually LISTEN so every time you eat together you end up telling him the same thing.
4. You end up w/ some really great guys to go out with - whether for the short or long term. But it's better to let him know up front so you don't go to 12 restaurants in a row that he thinks rocks where all you can have is a house salad w/o cro

[seashele2]

My daughter and I are both celiac. She also has other food allergies (corn and dairy), so eating out is even more fun. She asks where they are going and then just calls without saying that's why she is asking. If there is nothing safe on the menu, she asks ahead of time if there is anything she can special order. She often just orders a dry salad without croutons and cheese and has a little container of her own dressing. Or if there is a plain unseasoned meat available, she gets a plain baked potato and the meat and brings along a little container of safe margarine (for the corn and dairy allergies).

Avoiding gluten is the easiest part of her dining out adventures. Avoiding corn derivatives is much harder. You should not have a huge problem finding something safe to eat on any menu with a gluten-free diet. I'm not talking KFC or something like that, but at a regular restaurant.

My daughter tells anyone she is dating on the first date. It is not an embarrassing disease, so there's no need to hide it. Especially if a date involves food, telling your date that you are "on a restricted diet because you have celiac" will let him know why you are "picky" about your food. It also might give you a topic of conversation if there is a lull. If someone isn't comfortable with you eating gluten-free for health reasons, they aren't worth dating anyway.

Michelle

Western Washington State

[Ahorsesoul]

I'd love to go out with you. I have food allergies so I am limited as to where I feel comfortable eating. I find these places safe for me to eat, (list them). If this is a problem, I understand.

[kareng]

A while back we talked about this forum adding another topic category "Celiac Singles Dating service".

I suppose you could try to steer a date to something not food related like bowling or the zoo. Or you could bring a picnic when the weather is nice. I'm glad this is not an issue for me.

[ricefreejane]

Has anyone run into issues dating? I really hate it because guys will ask me out to dinner, and usually they have a certain place in mind. And then I have to be like, I'll have to research it or call and see, or I can go to Place A, B or C. Sometimes, I feel like I'm annoying to the person I'm with when I have to ask what's in everything, or ask that my food is made seperately or what not. Has anyone run into this? And if I'm going on a date with someone, when should I do tell them?

Any man worth his salt should be so concerned about your welfare and happiness on a date that he should not mind if you ask the waiter to check whether the soup etc. has wheatflour (in my case it's also maize starch and rice flour). In fact he should ask the waiter to go and check. If he gets upset that's his problem and you should probably take that as a good sign that you and he are not going to get along and kick him into touch. Tell date that you are a coeliac and have a conversation about what it means but don't drone on about it. Short, sharp and to the point. Use this as a way of discovering how compassionate, thoughtful and patient your date is and keep us up to date on your progress :-)

[sandsurfgirl]

For a first date I wouldn't go into any details. It's just TMI for a first date. I would simply say "I have food allergies. Do you mind letting me know ahead of time where we're going so I can call and find out what I can order?"

Even if he asks for details I wouldn't give too many at first. It's just not polite conversation to talk about your illnesses no matter what they are until you know someone a little bit. It takes time to find out what type of person someone is, but most people don't want to know the ins and outs of your health problems when they just met you.

There's nothing wrong with being discreet but also getting your needs taken care of.

Every moment is not a "teachable moment" for spreading the word about celiac. Once you get to know the person a little better then you can give more detail.