How To Convince The Boyfriend To Make Our Kitchen Gluten-Free?

[dreacakes]

I'm tired of my kitchen feeling like a toxic minefield!!

I'm so paranoid about everything in there, I can't put the spatula down on the stove while I'm cooking because I'm afraid of contamination, there are crumbs that fall in the silverware drawer, I scrub the holy heck out of the dishes but I'm always scared I missed a spot (I got badly glutened by a steamer basket with remnant dumplings stuck to it recently). It's so hard to cook my food in there when I feel like I'm dodging poison at every turn.

I know I should ask my boyfriend to switch his diet at home too, but I feel bad about it. I know from experience how hard it is to eat this way, and I feel like it would make him suffer if I made a stink about it. (oh how he loves his vegetarian meats and flour tortillas and pasta and such) Part of me also feels like I'm being a crazy paranoid lady, even though I know I've been glutened by the contaminated kitchen before.

Have you all had similar experiences? Can you give me a pep talk?

Maybe y'all can call him and tell him that the celiac community has recommended that my kitchen be contaminate free??

Thanks!

[BRUMI1968]

Hi. When I was diagnosed three years ago or so, my hubby and I shared the kitchen but with some rules. All the dishes that had touched gluten hung out in our sink the mud room, instead of the kitchen, and got washed there, with their own sponge, etc. We replaced our toaster and he did not eat toast (not much into toast anyway) and I had my own cutting board. We got rid of all teflon, etc.

But, in the end, we ended up with a gluten-free kitchen. It was hard to keep track of. Certain things are easy for gluten in the house: beer and pizza come to mind, because they are easy to keep track of. Tinkyada gluten-free pasta easily tastes as good as wheat pasta and would be a no-brainer to get him to eat. If he loves bread, that can be an issue.

You could just ask him to try it out for a two week period maybe? Beer and pizza okay, or anything else that seems easy to keep track of - if he loves french bread or something he could have his own cutting board and knife and space where you're food does not go. I don't know what your place is like - if the kitchen is small or not.

I feel I've not been as helpful as I set out to me. We now don't have a gluten-free kitchen - to be honest it's becuase we've started getting some our food from the foodbank, and you can't be too picky at the foodbank. So we're just super careful - have a separate dirty dish area, always wash the dishes separately, and use a separate sponge. He never takes the bread, so we don't have to worry about that, and we don't have an oven so we don't do any baking with flours.

Good luck to you - I know EXACTLY how you feel because I hate cooking when I'm a guest at someone's house.

[India]

Hi there. I've been gluten-free for seven months. When I began, I bought new kitchenware for myself and put fluorescent labels on any of my husband's foods that contained gluten - but we found that cooking became really stressful as it was so difficult watching out for every stray piece of food that fell off my chopping board or every crumb from his meals.

The turning point came when I asked my husband to try a gluten-free diet for two months - despite a negative blood test, I hoped it would help his own health issues. Seems he can tolerate gluten just fine but during this process, he decided that we should keep the kitchen more or less gluten-free anyway, because it's safer for me and life had become so much easier. We've made some great new foods since going gluten-free so he knew he wouldn't starve! He still has beer and some condiments in the house that contain gluten but there are definitely no crumbs. He still eats gluten at work and when we eat out but I thank him for my gluten-fee kitchen just about every other day, because it helps to know that at least my home is a safe haven.

It took my husband a while to come round but I hope you can come to some kind of agreement with your boyfriend too

[oceangirl]

Well, the method employed by the women in the ancient Greek play, Lysistrata, to get men to stop the war is time-honored. Involves a boycott of some kind... having to do with an activity they greatly enjoy.....

Tra la la. Seriously, if your boyfriend does not see the benefit of you feeling safe and feeling well in your own home it may turn into a liability for him.

Good luck to you. I tried going it alone with everyone being exceptionally careful, but ultimately the family volunteered to go gluten free in the house as they got tired of seeing Mom and lover sick all the time. That was years ago and everyone seems fine with it. I hope you can work it out.

lisa

[sandsurfgirl]

It's a tough issue. You both have needs and it is a hard lifestyle to adopt.

We have a mostly gluten free house simply because I do all the cooking. My husband can barely boil water.

I had to ban gluten bread from my house because the crumbs were just making me sick all the time. We have small kids too and they kept getting me with their crumbs. Funny enough, my husband has lost weight and was telling me how good he feels not eating bread all the time.

However if he really isn't ready to have a gluten free home, then you'll have to do some separating and some labeling. Have different food prep counters and different utensils, etc. Separate toasters and he has to be extra careful with his bread crumbs.

Just try to be understanding of his difficulties too so you can get through this together without turning it into a battle. Keep asking for your needs to be met, not demand and eventually he will come around or at least compromise enough to keep it safe.

I'm up at 1 a.m sick from being glutened by my kids and their Uncrustables.

[GlutenFreeManna]

I'm tired of my kitchen feeling like a toxic minefield!!

I'm so paranoid about everything in there, I can't put the spatula down on the stove while I'm cooking because I'm afraid of contamination, there are crumbs that fall in the silverware drawer, I scrub the holy heck out of the dishes but I'm always scared I missed a spot (I got badly glutened by a steamer basket with remnant dumplings stuck to it recently). It's so hard to cook my food in there when I feel like I'm dodging poison at every turn.

I know I should ask my boyfriend to switch his diet at home too, but I feel bad about it. I know from experience how hard it is to eat this way, and I feel like it would make him suffer if I made a stink about it. (oh how he loves his vegetarian meats and flour tortillas and pasta and such) Part of me also feels like I'm being a crazy paranoid lady, even though I know I've been glutened by the contaminated kitchen before.

Have you all had similar experiences? Can you give me a pep talk?

Maybe y'all can call him and tell him that the celiac community has recommended that my kitchen be contaminate free??

Thanks!

Have you even brought the subject up yet? You may be surprised, he may be willing to do it if it will make you healthier more often. Most of the things he loves could have gluten-free substitutes and if not he can still eat his favorites when you go out to restaurants or while he is at work. You're not asking for him to go gluten free completely, you are just asking for a safe place to prepare your food. If you don't think he will go for a gluten-free kitchen, then perhaps you could just designate one counter top or one area of the kitchen gluten-free and ask that he not prepare food on that surface/in that area. If he loves you he will understand and be more than willing to accommodate. If he throws a fit it could be a sign of things to come in the future. Not being able to compromise on a big issue like this is a red flag that he may not compromise on other things that are important to you as well.

[Ahorsesoul]

Is he a boyfriend just for now because you have an opening in your life or is he a possible partner for life? A partner for life will be willing to adapt their life to ensure you are healthy. If he's not willing, you are not that important to him.

[gf-soph]

I totally get you wanting a gluten free ktichen, but the practicalities depend a lot on how your house is set up.

When I went gluten free initially my family wouldn't change the kitchen, they thought I was being paranoid or that i could just deal with it. I got my own crockery and pans and all that, but the crumbs and food was too much to handle in the kitchen. I was kind of depressed at the time, so it got to the point where I would look at the kitchen covered in gluten and it was too much, i would end up not cooking, and not eating enough.

After about 6 months I was still getting ccd (could tell from blood tests), so they decided to get the gluten out of the kitchen. Now, the kitchen is gluten free wherever possible. They keep their toaster and stray dishes on the kichen table, which I dont use. I have a seperate cupboard where all my food and dishes are kept, along with my toaster. They take their dishes out to the laundry and do a thorough rinse off. I always do the dishes, I wash my stuff first, then theirs, and almost never use anything from the common dishes.

I found it very helpful to buy some crockery thats a different colour to everything else, as well as keeping my pots and pans in a different cupboard. It's still not ideal, but its a hell of a lot better than when the gluten was in the kitchen, both for my health and sanity.

I also have my own shelf in the fridge so that they dont CC my butter or condiments, which are also clearly marked.

They have stopped baking with regular flour, apart from that they get to eat everything else they want to. Hopefully you can find a compromise, as I know how hard it is to cook in a gluten kitchen!

[StacyA]

I suggest sitting down and talking to him, and explaining how stressful it is to cook in such a minefield (funny, I was thinking the word 'minefield' this weekend when I tried to cook in someone else's kitchen). My husband is ready for us to go gluten-free whenever I say the word - but I haven't made the change because of my two young sons. Instead we're doing what other people with shared kitchens do - but yes, it's stressful. If it was just adults in the house, however, we would be gluten-free in an instant! If you can do it, think how much easier (and healthier) life would be.