Anxiety, Depression, And Friends

[curiousgirl]

I read a lot of people have anxiety. I'm curious to know if their symptoms (not only of anxiety) has caused people to abandon you? Or, treat you poorly?

[sandsurfgirl]

Once I went gluten free my anxiety went away. Now if I get glutened anxiety is my first symptom.

I do think it caused a strain on my friendships. I don't have proof, but I'm guessing it has. I've had celiac my whole life undiagnosed, but the anxiety came on about 8 months or so before I got diagnosed last January. For a few years before the full blown attacks started I was just on edge all the time, high strung, easily upset about things. I thought I was just an intense type A passionate Italian girl.

Well... once I went gluten free my personality totally changed and my anxiety went away. I moved a year and a half ago and got diagnosed a few months later. I went to a party with my old friends where I used to live and some were remarking about how much I had changed, how I was a different person, how I'm so calm and mellow now. They just couldn't believe it.

But... my very best friend in the world was there during the worst of it when I was anxious and upset all the time, extremely sick and on edge so much. She abandoned me when I got diagnosed and I think that she was getting tired of being my friend way before that.

[ravenwoodglass]

They, meaning anxiety and depression, can cause folks to not want to be around you as much. They can also effect your perceptions of what others are saying and their body language. Having extreme anxiety can effect the things we do and don't do. Most with anxiety will try to avoid situations that make us anxious so we may pull away from others or be seen to not want to be around them even if that isn't the case.

[Skylark]

Nice posts. I find that when I'm relaxed and happy I can treat the people around me well. As a result, I am generally treated well.

[WheatChef]

Back during my gluten days there were times that my anxiety would totally get the best of me I would become completely isolated from the world. Pretty much no communication with anyone due to all of the negative irrational thoughts going through my head. This sometimes would go on for months at a time with me avoiding answering the phone calls of friends for w/e whacked out reason was currently in my mind. It certainly did destroy a small handful of friendships but I have been severely lucky to have many wonderful friends who were always pleased to see me alright and would carry on like normal once I'd come out of the deep end. It's just kind of one thing that friends of mine got used to, I would occasionally disappear.

Now if I get glutened there's a good chance that I'll have an evening/day or two worth of anxiety which causes me to break off any previous engagements. My friends don't mind, they normally wish to help whenever I tell them I can't go do something with them because I got poisoned and am currently slightly insane but it's easier just to deal with it through "movie, popcorn and comfy blanket" therapy.

If you have friends who know what's going on with you and treat you poorly during your times of stress then you need to reevaluate your definition of "friend". Sometimes if it's a new friend though and they have no clue what's going on because you've never told them (although I couldn't imagine the stress of telling one for the first time while you're in the middle of an attack), then it's certainly something that can stress your relationship. On their end all they would see is that you're all of a sudden acting really weird towards them. People can get defensive if they think someone is rejecting them, that's why it's always best to be open with these sorts of things.

[srall]

I think my immediate family got the worst of it. I was getting so scared for my little daughter just because I'd fly into rages. I didn't know what was going on and thought I was going through early menopause. My doctor wanted to put me on Xanax but I was so against that she told me I'd have to exercise an hour a day. I still do that. Everything's managed through diet and exercise now. But definitely the anxiety comes back if I'm glutened.

I was also so frustrated about the things that caused anxiety. My house would get messy and I'd because so anxious about it I'd get paralyzed and couldn't clean it then I'd get more anxious and angry....OY. So glad I'm starting to get a handle on this. At first I thought the GI issues were the main issue of this disease (condition?) but now that I'm clean, I'm actually amazed at all the things I managed for the past decade: joint pain, migraines, anxiety and rage, fatigue, brain fog. I'm truly amazed I have a house and family intact. My friends are awesome and honestly I guess I was able to keep it together when I was out with them. I probably was a little more impatient or terse when giving my opinions. I wonder if they notice that I'm more laid back now? My mother is the one person who is amazed at the difference in me. I think I got really good at holding it together outside my home, but let down in front of my mom especially because I'd need her to watch my daughter so I could sleep or just lie down.

Oh and may I just say again what a lifesaver this board is? Not just practical advice...but I honestly thought "brain fog" was a term I had coined until I visited here. It was so hard to explain that to my husband, but reading these posts make me feel like I'm not crazy. This isn't stuff in my head. This board should be required reading for any doctor who is going to diagnose or treat people with GI issues.

[The Glutenator]

I can totally relate to this topic, and like sndsurfgirl has said, the anxiety is a key indication that I have been glutenated. Before diagnosis I was very anxious all the time and it definitely affected my friendships. The anxiety made me very nosy about the people around me, and I would tend to pry a bit to much...its like I needed to know everything about everyone and if I could keep tabs on what the people around me where up to, doing, and thinking all the time some how I would feel better and calmer, but this never worked! While no one ever said anything, I can see my overly-strong personality in friendships playing a very negative roll in the relationships (for example asking them what they ate that day, just cause I was anxious and felt like I needed to know). Since diagnosis and going gluten-free (plus a couple months to adjust) things have been dramatically different. I am MUCH less anxious, and now know that if I am happy, OK, and content with myself then it does not matter what the people around me are doing. I mean, I care about my friends, but what they had for lunch and a snack doesn't matter! haha.

The anxiety is my least favorite glutenation symptom. The D and cramping will pass, but the anxiety lasts about a week. Now, though, I can bite my tongue, suck it up, and bare through it. At least I know where it is coming from, so I feel like less of a freak, and just give myself time to let it run its course. I knew I was a bit off kilter before, but now I feel like a happy and confident me.

SO glad to hear others can relate, and I am not alone! It has been about 6 months gluten-free for me, so I am hoping to start building new friendships that will be much stronger than the ones from my past, which are unfortunately quite tainted with my old anxious ways. Wish me luck folks! I really want a fresh start and to find some new girl friends that will appreciate me for who I am...and maybe even a boy in my life?!?!

[RestorationFarm]

Thank you for showing me I'm not the only mom who went through such similiar struggles undiagnosed!! How long after gluten-free did these things resolve? Is there anything I can do to heal even faster than just eating gluten-free?

[KikiUSA]

This sounds like me! I have been having rage, anger, depression ect....and my dr. did put me on Lexapro to help keep me calm as he also said I am pre menapausel. I truely thought I was losing my mind and I never gave it a thought that it was because I had been glutened.

I love this site and all the information it provides. All of you sharing your stories have helped me many times. This site should get an award!!!!!

[realmaverick]

If my anxiety goes away, with my gluten free diet, that alone would be amazing. I've always been a worrier and get terribly anxious.

For example, if my partner is late home, I'll start to worry he may have been in a crash and make myself sick with worry. Though that said, it just dawned on me, that for the past few weeks, my anxiety levels have been much lower. Interesting.

Maybe I'm lucky but none of my symptoms or condition has in any way negatively effected my relationships. Everybody has been really supportive and understanding.