What To Do About Weddings?

[DianeMu]

I have just been invited to 2 weddings. This is the first since being diagnosed. What do you guys do about it? Do I eat before and not worry about it? Should I call the place where the reception will be and ask what they normally do? Do I talk to the people who invited us. I don't know what is the proper thing to do. Any advice would be wonderful!! Thanks! Diane

[chili]

I would love to know too!! I have been invited to 1 baptism, 2 communions and 1 wedding all in the next month, and I am sooooo stressed!!! I was thinking of calling the places where the functions are being held...It is a little socially uncomfortable to sit there when everyone else is eating!! I think that i what I would do..any advice from some pros out there would be appreciated!!

[11475]

Adding myself to the list - I've also found myself in this position. Normally, I'd just eat beforehand, but at a wedding, especially where the bride & groom have paid for your meal, I'd feel horrible for their sake not eating anything if there was a way to make the meal safe.

I suppose it differs in terms of how well you know the person who invited you, if they know of your restrictions, if you know others with similar restrictions will also be attending etc. Keen to hear some advice from those who have dealt with this.

[Strawberry-Jam]

I've only been to one wedding since my diagnosis--my cousin's--and I just brought my own food to the reception. I did have two glasses of wine there though, and a little punch. No cake of course.

I'm not the only one in my family with food problems--my aunt has severe migraines when she has MSG or certain other foods, so she didn't eat anything at the reception either. I did offer her some of my food (I brought cashews and gluten-free animal crackers), and though it was all food she could eat, I'm thinking she'd eaten already because she didn't have anything there except coffee.

It helps that the reception was served buffet-style so I just never got up to get in line.

[GlutenFreeManna]

I have been to a few weddings since gluten free. Fortuantely they were all cake and punch or appetizer type weddings and not sit down catered dinners. I just ate before I went, took my own snacks in my purse and planned a special treat for afterward if neccessary. Beyond that, I tried to always have a drink in my hand or be dancing/moving around the room greeting people so no one would notice I wasn't eating.

If it were a sit down plated dinner I think the best way to handle it is to find out from realtives or close friends of the bride who the caterer is and call to talk to them to see if they can accomodate you with a gluten free meal. Then also take food for back up in case they mess up/forget. I would not bother the bride about it unless they are a close relative or you are in the wedidng party or something. She has enough to worry about without calling the caterer for one guest's special dietary requirements.

[bigbird16]

I've only been to one wedding, as a bridesmaid for my best friend, since going gluten-, dairy-, and soy-free. I just brought my own little tucker bag filled a Larabar for a snack before the wedding, an extra for the bride if she needed food, Hormel chili for dinner, and a homemade me-friendly muffin with a travel packet of honey for dessert. I just opened up my food and enjoyed along with everyone else. (That was a pretty picture--all decked out like a movie star in a red gown in a fancy room, crackin' open a can of chili. lol) The smell of the muffin made some others jealous, though I heard the cake was divine. It was a destination wedding, so my suitcase was stuffed with good food. That worked out great--since I ate the food, I had rom to take clothes and shoes home for the bride and groom.

My 20th high school reunion is this summer, and if I go, I plan to do the same--simply bring my own and enjoy the night. For lunches during work meetings when we're out of town, I bring my own and set up my little meal like it's nothing. For recption/party sorts of things, I usually either eat before and keep my glass of water or juice full or bring a few me-friendly snacks. I'm going to eat if I'm hungry, by gum. Oh, we're going to Bismarck, ND in a few weeks for work, and I hear that the food at the Civic Center is atrocious. I just laughed during our staff meeting when this was mentioned, because I knew I would be getting fabulous food from home. I may even bring my electric skillet for this trip to make hot breakfasts and dinners.

[cahill]

I have a wedding coming up in July . My daughter ( whom is gluten free) is getting married . It is catered and we have worked out a pretty good menu , but I am still worried about CC. She and I will eat before , take snacks from home for her and my self. The wedding cake will be gluten free.I am a little concerned about CC But my daughter knows the cake maker personally and has really stressed the CC Issue with her

[Tigercat17]

I've been to a few wedding since going gluten free. I don't take any chances when it comes to eating at weddings. There's just too busy and the risk for CC is way too high. It's just not worth it to me.

I usually treat myself to one of my favorite meals like a good steak for lunch. That way I don't have "food envy" during the wedding. Then I'll bring a sandwich, a salad or a couple a Lara Bars for a snack during the wedding dinner. Both times I just brought a little cooler. Most of my friends know why I can't eat the wedding dinner, so it's not a problem at all. Sometimes I do have to explain things, but I try not to feel sorry for myself. And it's a good opportunity to bring awareness to celiac disease. You never know who has this disease and they aren't diagnosed.

Just enjoy the company, Dance a lot, have fun and make sure you have a glass of wine!

[jebby]

I have been to two weddings since being diagnosed last year. When I sent in the RSVP card I requested a gluten free dinner (both weddings were for close friends of mine who already knew that I'm a Celiac). At the first wedding there were actually 5 or 6 guests who were gluten free and at the second there were 2 or 3 of us. My plates had slightly different food and both times I had a different dessert, but at both weddings the caterers were great about making sure that I could eat safely. My mom is also a Celiac and has been gluten free at tons of weddings. If you know the bride or groom well enough, then I'd recommend having them see if their caterers can accomodate you.

[Jungle]

When you RSVP you could write a quick note asking if it is not too much bother could they provide a gluten free meal but to also say if it is a problem you'd be happy to bring your own and just to let you know so you could be prepared.

[tarnalberry]

You can ask the couple getting married for the caterer's name and talk to them.

I always just brought my own food.

[Marilyn R]

When you RSVP you could write a quick note asking if it is not too much bother could they provide a gluten free meal but to also say if it is a problem you'd be happy to bring your own and just to let you know so you could be prepared.

I was a catering manager at an upscale hotel chain for years. Vegatarians and Kosher Jews request special meals routinely, and without a second thought. Please feel free to write "Gluten Free" on your RSVP without guilt.

If you can talk to the caterer ahead of time, I'd encourage you to do so. If you aren't comfortable with their expertise (many caterers are getting pretty savvy out of necessity), you could always ask for a plain uncut sweet potato or baked potato and a piece of plain broiled fish on a bed of greens with lemon.

The bride and her parents want the wedding to be perfect for everyone. It's fine if you prefer to take your own food, too!

I've only been to one wedding since going gluten-free and it was wonderful. Mine happened to be a buffet. I joked with the carver at the carving station and asked if he knew where his knife's been today. When I was satisfied with his answer, I had a nice helping of beef (he knew how it had been prepared), and found one or two other things that ended up being perfectly safe. (Other than a little hangover, I felt great the next day!)

I hope you have a wonderful time at the wedding!

[DianeMu]

Thanks everyone for all the helpful advice. You guys are great!!!! I think I will call the cater, and maybe throw some snacks in my bag just in case!