Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):


Join eNewsletter


Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-m):



Join eNewsletter

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

TriticusToxicum

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

Recommended Posts

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackie- I BURST out laughing! That was a freaking riot!

It reminded me that last night we tried to watch Snakes on a Plane because for months after we heard that it was coming out, my hubby and I would walk around imitating Samuel L. Jackson "There's Motherf*&%^n SNAKES ON THIS PLANE!"

We were so psyched to watch it and just laugh and about thirty minutes in my hubby couldn't take it anymore (it was after those MF snakes bit a guy in his hoo-hoo :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Unfortunately, snakes are not a friend to me either. Previously living in the country, I had told my small son to let me know if he ever saw a snake in the yard, and NOT mess with it. He came screaming in the back door one day that a snake was on the carport. Well, they really creeped me out, but I figured I needed to do something. (Just want you to know that just typing this has the hair on my arms standing up!) So I looked outside and OMG there it was, about 8-10 inches long, a baby if you will. I couldn't find a garden hoe, so I got a broom, and commenced to beatin the tar out of it. You see, people that fear snakes, even tiny ones figure, the only good snake is a dead one. It was pretty ridiculous though, a grown woman having a "hissy" fit, (pun intended,) my child screaming, and me with a broom in hand just wallupin the snot out of this little snake. Do you have any idea how hard it is to kill a snake with a broom? I finally did it in, to only find out later it was a baby copperhead, so I felt I did the right thing, and we disposed of it properly. Their venom is even more powerful than the adult, I have heard. So when I hear that old song, "I Don't Like Spiders and Snakes," it brings back such unfond memories!!

JackieM---former full time mom, chief bottle washer, and snake murderer.

OMG - I would have jumped on top of the nearest table/car/tree (with child of course :blink: ) and waited for someone to save me!!! :o:o:o

Thankfully - we don't get too many in London (england) :unsure:


It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required - Sir Winston Churchill

Nikki

Son diagnosed with Coeliac Disease Oct 2006 by biopsy (at age 13yrs)

black_cat.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ok, I'll think about it......................... I'm up to it Jestgar! I don't see the requirement would be all that difficult! :lol: Whew, I was sweatin bullets thinkin I might be sent on my merry way after that little lymeric of mine. Excuse me nicki, pardon me Jestgar, may I squeeze by ya to find my seat? :) oops, I think I just passed the requirment... :o...just kidding (maybe)

Yes- get ye some Depends while on this thread! That's our only requirement :P

That and a DEFINITIVE lack of snakes!


***************************

Beverly

Gluten free since 2005

In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer.

Albert Careb

36_35_6[1].gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Has this been posted yet?

Forty-one percent of hiring managers said they have received unusual or suspicious sick-day alibis. When asked to share the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work, hiring managers revealed some of their favorite alibis:

1. Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.

2. A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.

3. Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.

4. Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out.

5. Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.

6. Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.

7. One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.

8. Employee's mother was in jail.

9. A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.

10. Employee had a bad case of hiccups.

11. Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.

12. Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.

13. Employee was hit by a bus while walking.

14. Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.

15. Employee was sad.


"But then, in all honesty, if scientists don't play god, who will?"

- James Watson

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

- Ashleigh Brilliant

Leap, and the net will appear.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, I dont' see anything wrong with any of those excuses.....? :lol::lol::lol: Oh and, can we call in sick for being "sad?" ha ha ha! Shoot, I hate when I"m drunk and showboarding off the roof of my house...kinda tricky. :P


SUSIE

Diagnosed January 2006

"I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells." ~Dr. Seuss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:lol::lol:

A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

So annoying when that happens

Employee was sad.

This should be a valid sick-day alibi :P

BTW Jestgar love the new avatar! -are you a cat person?(I am :D )


It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required - Sir Winston Churchill

Nikki

Son diagnosed with Coeliac Disease Oct 2006 by biopsy (at age 13yrs)

black_cat.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I hate when I"m drunk and showboarding off the roof of my house...kinda tricky. :P

:lol::lol:

Heck, you do showboarding???

So talented - sounds fab!

Conjures up a mental image of a show girl with sparkly tassles (all singing and dancing) on a snowboard!! :blink:

:lol::lol:


It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required - Sir Winston Churchill

Nikki

Son diagnosed with Coeliac Disease Oct 2006 by biopsy (at age 13yrs)

black_cat.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
:lol::lol:

Heck, you do showboarding???

So talented - sounds fab!

Conjures up a mental image of a show girl with sparkly tassles (all singing and dancing) on a snowboard!! :blink:

:lol::lol:

oh yeah, didn't I tell you guys? :lol: I'm a SHOWboarder. It's a California thing. I wear a huge headress, too, that makes it esp. tricky while climbing the ladder to the roof......also gets kinda cold, what with the fishnets and all.................................. :P:lol::P


SUSIE

Diagnosed January 2006

"I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells." ~Dr. Seuss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Conjures up a mental image of a show girl with sparkly tassles (all singing and dancing) on a snowboard!!

Can you make those tassels spin?


"But then, in all honesty, if scientists don't play god, who will?"

- James Watson

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

- Ashleigh Brilliant

Leap, and the net will appear.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Can you make those tassels spin?

haha! :lol: the tassels, well, they just have a hard time staying on, as the, er, endowment of the globes to which they stick is severely lacking. :huh::lol:

and THERE"S RICHARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG ARE YOU BACK??????????????


SUSIE

Diagnosed January 2006

"I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells." ~Dr. Seuss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Here i am, Just running my knickers up the flag pole. I'm not quite back, but I'll try hard to swing by next week.

Here's on of my all-time favorite clips...

I always root for this to happen especially to Jim Cantore while he's "LIVE on assignment"...

G'day all see you soon!

I think it's time to take down the Charlie Brown Christmas tree

<------------------


Richard

"Not all who wander are lost" - J.R.R. Tolkien

Diagnosed 3/8/05

Sister also Celiac

Risus remedium optimum est

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
er, endowment of the globes to which they stick is severely lacking. :huh::lol:

Snort!! :lol::lol::lol:

Here i am, Just running my knickers up the flag pole.

OH DEAR LORD!!!

WAS THAT A RICHARD SIGHTING??? (With hilarious new avatar??) :unsure::unsure:


It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required - Sir Winston Churchill

Nikki

Son diagnosed with Coeliac Disease Oct 2006 by biopsy (at age 13yrs)

black_cat.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
OH DEAR LORD!!!

WAS THAT A RICHARD SIGHTING??? (With hilarious new avatar??) :unsure::unsure:

:o I know, a sighting, and e'er so painfully brief......see how he tortures us? just pops in for a second, and then POOF, he is gone?????????????? :angry::lol:


SUSIE

Diagnosed January 2006

"I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells." ~Dr. Seuss

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
BTW Jestgar love the new avatar! -are you a cat person?(I am :D )

The Creation of Adam right??...cat style!! :D

I like the hat!

Very Davey Crockett :D

:o I know, a sighting, and e'er so painfully brief......see how he tortures us? just pops in for a second, and then POOF, he is gone?????????????? :angry::lol:

...he's warming up, teasing us yes, but preparing himself for multitasking (posting here whilst..er..working..)


It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required - Sir Winston Churchill

Nikki

Son diagnosed with Coeliac Disease Oct 2006 by biopsy (at age 13yrs)

black_cat.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2. A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.

4. Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out.

5. Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

#2 happens to me ALL the time!

#4 Hey, that could be ANY of us!

#5 My favorite! MORON


***************************

Beverly

Gluten free since 2005

In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer.

Albert Careb

36_35_6[1].gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
:o I know, a sighting, and e'er so painfully brief......see how he tortures us? just pops in for a second, and then POOF, he is gone?????????????? :angry::lol:

Maybe it's due to our lack of endowment for tassel-twirling abilities. I am, of course, only speaking for myself and Susie Q. :P

Those videos ARE classic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommagoose I see you!

I am currently watching the rest of Snakes on a Plane without hubby.....OMG...so dumb but there is one redeeming scene where the effeminate male flight attendant puts one of the snakes in the microwave and says "Who's your bi-ach now?"

Otherwise...useless! the snakes are SO fake.


***************************

Beverly

Gluten free since 2005

In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer.

Albert Careb

36_35_6[1].gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is a seriously cute puppy. I'm way too allergic to dogs to ever have one, but I love playing with other people's.


"But then, in all honesty, if scientists don't play god, who will?"

- James Watson

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

- Ashleigh Brilliant

Leap, and the net will appear.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
That is a seriously cute puppy. I'm way too allergic to dogs to ever have one, but I love playing with other people's.

He's so sweet...but I just spent half an hour cleaning out my car as he got car sick! :( Poor baby! He's so sweet. His name is Angus and he welcomes you to the thread with kisses!

Did you know there are dogs that have hair, not fur, that many people don't react to? Wheaton Terriers (so cute and peppy!) and standard poodles and I think sheepdogs.


***************************

Beverly

Gluten free since 2005

In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer.

Albert Careb

36_35_6[1].gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Maybe it's due to our lack of endowment for tassel-twirling abilities. I am, of course, only speaking for myself and Susie Q. :P

Those videos ARE classic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mommagoose I see you!

I am currently watching the rest of Snakes on a Plane without hubby.....OMG...so dumb but there is one redeeming scene where the effeminate male flight attendant puts one of the snakes in the microwave and says "Who's your bi-ach now?"

Otherwise...useless! the snakes are SO fake.

;)B)


Lisa

Gluten Free - August 15, 2004

"Not all who wander are lost" - JRR Tolkien

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Maybe it's due to our lack of endowment for tassel-twirling abilities. I am, of course, only speaking for myself and Susie Q. :P

My tassel-twirling radar must have been activated to motivate me to stop in today. ;)

Things are settling down at work, so don't twirl the tassels without me! :P


Richard

"Not all who wander are lost" - J.R.R. Tolkien

Diagnosed 3/8/05

Sister also Celiac

Risus remedium optimum est

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok- I can now stop watching because I heard the line I was wwaiting for. Samuel L. jackson "OK Enough is enough. I have had ENOUGH of these mf snakes on this mf plane."


***************************

Beverly

Gluten free since 2005

In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer.

Albert Careb

36_35_6[1].gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
My tassel-twirling radar must have been activated to motivate me to stop in today. ;)

Things are settling down at work, so don't twirl the tassels without me! :P

You bet your naughty kangaroo wildebeast zebra tail!


***************************

Beverly

Gluten free since 2005

In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer.

Albert Careb

36_35_6[1].gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ok- I can now stop watching because I heard the line I was wwaiting for. Samuel L. jackson "OK Enough is enough. I have had ENOUGH of these mf snakes on this mf plane."

S.L.J. makes my top 10 Bad A** MF'r list

along with

Clint Eastwood

Charles Bronson

Lee Marvin

Bruce Lee

Al Pacino

... ok so it's only my top 6...who am I missing?

OMG! How did I forget the DUKE? John Wayne :o

(edit)

I guess I can't have Pacino without DeNiro


Richard

"Not all who wander are lost" - J.R.R. Tolkien

Diagnosed 3/8/05

Sister also Celiac

Risus remedium optimum est

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
S.L.J. makes my top 10 Bad A** MF'r list

along with

Clint Eastwood

Charles Bronson

Lee Marvin

Bruce Lee

Al Pacino

... ok so it's only my top 6...who am I missing?

OMG! How did I forget the DUKE? John Wayne :o

(edit)

I guess I can't have Pacino without DeNiro

CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

For more....google chuck norris jokes.


***************************

Beverly

Gluten free since 2005

In the midst of winter, I found there was within me an invincible summer.

Albert Careb

36_35_6[1].gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.


  • Celiac.com Sponsors (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      92,013
    • Most Online
      6,255

    Newest Member
    luvbaggio
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      115,622
    • Total Posts
      969,314

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Who's Online (See full list)


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):


  • Blog Entries