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Miss Emily

Inspiration Short Story

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I have been chronically ill since I can rememeber. Something many of us suffer from when we have been misdiagnosed for a number of years. I struggle to have the energy to complete daily tasks and often feel very alone. This story gave me comfort. I finally was able to explain to loved ones, and even myself, what having a lifelong Chronic Ilness feels like. We are not alone! I hope it helps you as well. ~Emily

The Spoon Theory

by Christine Miserandino

My best friend and I were in the diner talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn't seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don

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Thanks for posting this. It will be saved and I will be sending copies to my family. It describes what I and so many others have to deal with every day. I also do so miss the days, even though they were so very long ago, when I could get up and do what so many take for granted. So many times the choices are so hard. I use more than my share of spoons too often. It is hard for others to understand that don't have to deal with the difficulties that many of us deal with. Everything has a price and sometimes it seems so unfair that we often have to pay for days after just having what others consider a 'normal' day. For those of us that were very far advanced in the disease process before we were lucky and got diagnosed those normal days will never be there again. Sometimes it is hard not to get bitter and sad but we just have to learn to live with the number of spoons we have and be thankful that we got some of them back after we healed. But I sure do wish I had been given back more than I got.

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Yep, I live my life the spoon way! I have nerve damage to both arms, fibromyalgia and a stroke. Oh yea and celiac. It's spoons for my life.

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Thank you for a wonderful story that can be felt by many. Very inspiring. I certainly can relate ...it is very sad that most healthy people just don't understand how managing everyday life can be so trying & time consuming.

blessings

mamaw

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I have been chronically ill since I can rememeber. Something many of us suffer from when we have been misdiagnosed for a number of years. I struggle to have the energy to complete daily tasks and often feel very alone. This story gave me comfort. I finally was able to explain to loved ones, and even myself, what having a lifelong Chronic Ilness feels like. We are not alone! I hope it helps you as well. ~Emily

The Spoon Theory

by Christine Miserandino

My best friend and I were in the diner talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn't seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don

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Thank you. What a simple and brave way to explain our lives. I'm sending it to my family and friends and my celiac group. It certainly puts into words the almost unexplainable choices persons with chronic illness face. You've inspired me.

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Thank you! I am constantly using too many spoons and lamenting the fact that I just can't get as much done in a day as I used to and, that all my time seems to go into thinking about or preparing food. Maybe I'll slow down and accept the limited spoons that I have. Maybe I'll be a little happier.

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The Spoon Theory

by Christine Miserandino

http://butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory/

Thank you everyone for your replies! I am so glad this story helped to inspire you as well :)

I just wanted to clarify that I did not write this story. I had credited the author in bold, Christine Miserandino, at the beginning of the topic following my introduction to it. I was told that she also has a website, www.butyoudon'tlooksick.com. I edited my post to include her title, name, and website at the bottom of the topic as well. Thanks!

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