Work friends & food

[Resada]

I started my gluten-free journey about 13 years ago so I'm not new to this, but every once in a while something hits me hard. My group in the office decided to go to lunch for 2 birthdays and I was thrilled to find out it was at a restaurant that had options for me. No sipping water while I dread questions about why I'm not eating (they know I have celiac, but I think they assume its fine if it's not breaded).

I had to run straight from a meeting to this lunch so I made sure I knew where and when it was before going to my meeting and let someone know I would be a few minutes late. I asked the host at the restaurant and he said they only had one group there (it wasn't my group) so I figured they were running late and texted to ask where they were. 

20 minutes later I got a text that they decided to change the restaurant (20 minutes before lunch) and just... forgot to tell me I guess. Add to that, the new restaurant was very unsafe for me. Normally I still join anyways, I just eat before we go. But now I would be 30+ minutes late to lunch, hangry because I thought I would get to eat at lunch, and upset at not being notified of the change, so I went home instead of trying to join.

Sorry about the long rant, I'm just feeling sad and really hating having celiac today.

[trents]

Read and understood with sympathy.

Food for thought, excuse the pun. For future reference, is there an officemate you can count on to alert you when the group makes sudden changes in plans like that? Someone who is truly looking out for you?

[Resada]

1 minute ago, trents said:

Read and understood with sympathy.

Food for thought, excuse the pun. For future reference, is there an officemate you can count on to alert you when the group makes sudden changes in plans like that? Someone who is truly looking out for you?

I thought there was, he's the one I told that I would not be back in the office or have access to my phone before the lunch. I've talked to him before about having celiac and he has experience with caring for food allergies.

I think it was just an accident, it just didn't feel very good. Especially with no apologies for not telling me about the change despite being specifically invited. 

[trents]

But if you were not in the office and would not not have access to your phone, how could he inform you of the change in venue?

[Resada]

5 minutes ago, trents said:

But if you were not in the office and would not not have access to your phone, how could he inform you of the change in venue?

I should have added that, while I dont have access during the meetings, I do as soon as I leave them (same for him) so I would have seen before I even left work. He has my number since we've needed to coordinate by cell a few times for work and other stuff. I usually have a protein bar or two in my desk for emergencies so I could have grabbed one of those and gone to meet them at the right restaurant. 

Someone else decided on the change of restaurant and it must have slipped his mind that I wasn't coming back to my desk.

[trents]

Yes, probably slipped his mind. Grace is in order here is my thought.

[Resada]

9 minutes ago, trents said:

Yes, probably slipped his mind. Grace is in order here is my thought.

Same, and I appreciate your comments. I just needed to get it off my chest. Sometimes, even when its a genuine mistake, it can feel all too hurtful and I didn't want to go back to work tomorrow still in my feelings. 

[trents]

I hear you. My extended family is very good about factoring in my celiac disease safety needs when making family celebration meal plans but sometimes it breaks down in the spur of the moment decisions to "Oh, let's go out and get some teriyaki" or the like. Especially when my brother in law comes into town 'cause he's pretty particular about what he likes to eat. So, sometimes I just say, "You guys go ahead without me. I'll find some leftovers." But, still, I admit to feeling a little left out at such times and a little like a 5th wheel.

[Resada]

10 minutes ago, trents said:

I hear you. My extended family is very good about factoring in my celiac disease safety needs when making family celebration meal plans but sometimes it breaks down in the spur of the moment decisions to "Oh, let's go out and get some teriyaki" or the like. Especially when my brother in law comes into town 'cause he's pretty particular about what he likes to eat. So, sometimes I just say, "You guys go ahead without me. I'll find some leftovers." But, still, I admit to feeling a little left out at such times and a little like a 5th wheel.

Yeah, that one is always hard, especially since life seems to revolve around food. That happened to me 2 weeks ago with hibachi and with Hungarian hot dogs. I used to be more picky, but now I would love to try all the things if I could.

On the bright side, my husband is absolutely wonderful with it, and his mom often brings a few certified gluten-free things to family get-togethers just for me (and tries to make sure main dishes are safe too). Having the people closest to you be supportive can make a huge difference. 

[Awol cast iron stomach]

I just wanted to share my support for you. Rant away. We all know that, and have experiences like that at some point. I am sorry for that very unpleasant, and emotionally isolating reminder of your medical condition. Which always is exacerbated by the hunger. I will admit many of my family friends, and coworkers found it easier to exclude me than to accommodate me. I also have to be very strict with cross contamination so in hindsight they did me a favor.  The sting however can often still be unearthed when I read experiences like yours. 

I am sorry you had that occur. I hope you, and the coworkers can find the easy more accommodating experiences again after this unfortunate incident. Best wishes.