The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Jestgar]

...it was a questionable nut bar...

This just brings up all sorts of bizarre images...

[nikki-uk]

...it was a questionable nut bar...

This just brings up all sorts of bizarre images...

OMG YES!! ...Well spotted Jestgar ..

[tom]

NNNNNOOOO - why? ... I am far too young

I was only 11yrs in 1980 ...but hubby (who's a bit older) did fancy Chrissie Hynde

<gulp> awwwww u make me feel old

I knew u were younger but this highlights it a bit too much for me.

Re: Simpsons

Surely you jest????

It's flippin' hilarious!!!! (ummm, for those that have a 'childish' sense of humour....Homer is my husband I think )

Yet there are also more sophisticated jokes sprinkled about that the kids don't even see!

It's brilliant!!

Strange???

Queens bleedin' English!!

Nuffink wrong wiv it!!!...wots a matter wiv you??!?

Why Tom, you dig me out at every opportunity & now I may get a tad shirty with you!! .......

Blimey!! Take it as a sign of respect

You & your funny words crack me up.

I've been wanting to use 'shirty' for quite a while, and actually wanted an answer to where it ranks!!

(But I won't admit to what TV show I know shirty from )

Nikki!! Great new av!! But where are you guys? (Reminds me - time to change mine again)

Jess, I'm not sure what to make of your avatar now!

[Edit - damn ph browsing. I would've taken a closer look while posting if I could've just Firefox tabbed-browse to it. NOW after a close look I can say I barely noticed what must be full-sized ppl in the foreground!! What a tree!! When were u in Budapest!? ]

[DingoGirl]

This just brings up all sorts of bizarre images...

listen here you salacious goobs (that is my new favorite insult and I do use it any chance I get ) - - it was a Pearson's Nut Roll - ? - I think? I got it at the .99 store. bought two of them, it did have "artificial and natural vanilla flavor - -- harrumph. My God, it was tasty. Alas, the other one was removed from my house last night. Turns out, I now have that neighbor who needs to take questionable and oft-abused snacks away from me.

Yet there are also more sophisticated jokes sprinkled about that the kids don't even see!

It's brilliant!!

Yes, yes, I do know that the Simpsons is quite funny, have seen maybe a combined total of maybe 60 minutes of the show, the thing is I HATE cartoons and animated stuff. bah.

IN other news - - - back is officially "thrown out." Much worse today. and I had big plans........ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[CarlaB]

Susie, sorry the back is out ... that stinks. Looks like you had a good time camping though.

Heyyyyyyy I bet you're right!!

U of Indiana is there ! I applied there w/ no intention of going.

I do want to order me up a "Kate"!

Just not in winter.

No, it's Indiana University. Winters aren't too bad ... they get a little snow, but it only lasts a couple days and melts. It's nothing like northern Indiana. The average Jan. temp. is slightly above freezing.

it's just that "Mr Jones and Me look into the future")

And who is Mr. Jones???

BTW did you recognize the house in the avatar?

[nikki-uk]

<gulp> awwwww u make me feel old

Don't worry, - I'm heading in the same direction

(But I won't admit to what TV show I know shirty from )

Keeping up appearances??

(Nikki!! Great new av!! But where are you guys?)

Ha ha, yes, can you tell that skyline just isn't Britain??

It was in Tenerife last year

IN other news - - - back is officially "thrown out." Much worse today. and I had big plans........ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

BOO!!....HARUMPH!!....from one of the (many) salacious goobs

[Mtndog]

Eggsalad!!!!

Anyone else go ga-ga over The Pretenders 1st 2 albums?? (Skip Brass in Pocket btw, that was only to get radio play - they weren't ready for Tattooed Love Boys)

My guess is that Nikki joins me in my Pretenders Fan Club!

And SooooooooooooooooZeeeeeeeeee!!

Who else *was* camping w/ u? A couple? 2 girlfriends?

OOOOHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Tatooed Love Boys rocks!

carla- I HAVE a lap top and still couldn't stay awake. OY!

More humor from good ol Uncle ray (I have to get him on this website!)-

HONORABLE MEN

A Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man). If a

female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man, and

if its a male then feel proud of all men after reading it!

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a

river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared

and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed

the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your

axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your

axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes

to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the

riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord

again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is

this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a

misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up

with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up

with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives,

so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and

honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONORABLE MEN!"

3 Men and a River - Cute!

>>>> Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large

>>>> raging,violent river.

>>>>

>>>> Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: "God, please

>>>> give me the strength to cross the river"

>>>>

>>>> Poof!.....God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to

>>>> swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

>>>>

>>>> After witnessing that, the second man prayed: "God, please give me

>>>> strength and the tools to cross the river"

>>>>

>>>> Poof!......God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and

>>>> he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

>>>>

>>>>

>>>> Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: "God,

>>>> please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross

>>>> the river"

>>>>

>>>> Poof!.....He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one

>>>> hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

>>>>

>>>>

>>>> GO AHEAD, SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH AND TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!

>>>>

>>>> "If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you!"

>>>> *

>>>>

[Mtndog]

Strange???

Queens bleedin' English!!

Nuffink wrong wiv it!!!...wots a matter wiv you??!?

Why Tom, you dig me out at every opportunity & now I may get a tad shirty with you!! .......

Nikki- You shirty cheeky monkey!

[tom]

listen here you salacious goobs (that is my new favorite insult and I do use it any chance I get )

W/ multiple 'goobs' and a string of 'indeed's, methunk someone was adopting choice fragments of a new friend's jargon.

<not that there's anything wrong w/ that!>

Turns out, I now have that neighbor who needs to take questionable and oft-abused snacks away from me.

Phew! about time!! . . . . .lacking that neighbor was one of the 1st things I ever heard from you, over claims of an actual SJ gluten-free bakery.

But no SJ bakery . . . . . no must-hide-at-a-neighbor worthy cupcakes

I was just trying to find out about SJ gluten-free but was reading talk of "size 0 or 2" - what's w/ that? <sheesh this new memory freaks me out>

and I had big plans........ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I'm not so sure that bending down to pluck fresh mint for the night's moe-HEE-toes counts as "big plans".

No, it's Indiana University.

Ack!! I'm 1/2way to horrified at my egregious error!

More than having applied there (in '78) is the storied basketball tradition. I need to send letters of apology to Knight, Alford, Smart, Lee etc etc.

And who is Mr. Jones???

He's either my imaginary drinking buddy or he's from a song I've been playing/singing.

Am . . . F . . . Dm G (oops that's the verse)

C F G

"Mr. Jones and me, look into the future . . .yeah we . . .stare at the beautiful women; she's lookin atchu . .I don't think so, she's Lookin' at Me .. . Smilin' in the spotlight . . .. . "

--Counting Crows

BTW did you recognize the house in the avatar?

Oh please, of course!! Looks like the Biltmore in Asheville . . .uhhhh was it 1 Approach Rd??

Ok OK!!! Enough w/ the 3rd degree!! You got me! I'm lying!!! I'd hoped it'd drop and my ignorance could remain veiled!! LOL

But noooooooooo u just HAD to ask a direct question.

I don't seem to be able to ignore a direct question.

The only thing in my favor is that I did figure it *should* be from "Being There", but drew a blank on anything past that.

So cool, are u close to Asheville?

Keeping up appearances??

hah I wish!

Nope, I know of 'shirty' from a show a man my age shouldn't know so much about.

(Tho it was quite well done)

Ha ha, yes, can you tell that skyline just isn't Britain??

It was in Tenerife last year

OK Nikki, u got me too. I so wanted to make fun of what appears to be just another silly word, but now I know where that is.

<tweet>

That must've been a fanTAStic trip!!

BOO!!....HARUMPH!!....from one of the (many) salacious goobs

Ack! Newly omnipresent goobosity!!

P.S. BEV!!! LMAO . . . . . .esp at the last bits. (I can handle it!)

[CarlaB]

Tom, it is the Biltmore House in Asheville. It was used in the movie Being There.

We live about 6 hours from there. My grandmother spends the summers in the mountains in NC, and we go visit her every summer.

Bev, at least you CAN sleep!!!

[tom]

OOOOHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Tatooed Love Boys rocks!

Aaargghh no idea how I didn't respond to this earlier!

(Well, one idea - all the LOL'g under it!)

So YAY! I knew SOMEone had to be w/ me on this!!

Thinking of The Pretenders 1st album actually makes me want to buy a celiac disease (WHAT!? Fine!!) <rewind> ...to buy a CompactFreakinDisc for the 1st time since maybe '99! The Phone Call & The Wait and 4 other non-hits coulda been hits!

2nd record not as solid throughout, but my god - Pack It Up, Talk of the Town, Message of Love??!!

<now for the makeup connection> ? ? ?

Band I was in back then covered a bunch of Pretenders and the singer's mom is Adrian Arpel.

[nikki-uk]

Uncle Ray is THE MAN

[tom]

AAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Let the packing & panicking begin!

The OMG thread is so looooooong . .. . . . there must have been some people from there meet in person before . . . .right?

Either way, tomorrow's my Close Encounter of the Rachelville Kind!! (ceRk) Woohoo!!

Will I recognize Donna if her hair's different and face not frozen mid-guffaw like the avatar?

It's me, Donna & Claire btw. Sure hope Donna is feeling well tomorrow. <crossed fingers>

Is it ironic that the guy picking me up @ the airport, whose car I'll drive the whole time, who I'll stay with, and who'll be my 1st roommate since ~'93 I ALSO met online 10yrs ago??

(Not fly-in-my-chardonnay ironic, Alanis, I mean *actual* irony)

[nikki-uk]

Either way, tomorrow's my Close Encounter of the Rachelville Kind!! (ceRk) Woohoo!!

Will I recognize Donna if her hair's different and face not frozen mid-guffaw like the avatar?

It's me, Donna & Claire btw. Sure hope Donna is feeling well tomorrow. <crossed fingers>

Oh wow!!! an actual 'in the flesh' MEET

I'm sure it'll be fine (but how will they recognise you Tom?? are you wearing something for the girls to recognise? )

Hmmm....quite jealous really.......

Have fun!!!

[CarlaB]

Tom, the thread is long ... but no one has met in person. Some chat on the phone though. Donna and Rachel haven't even met and they see the same doctors!

I wish I could be there!

[tom]

Oh wow!!! an actual 'in the flesh' MEET

I'm sure it'll be fine (but how will they recognise you Tom?? are you wearing something for the girls to recognise? )

Hmmm....quite jealous really.......

Have fun!!!

I don't recogniZe two of those words . . . .

I was thinking I'd pin a Lime to my lapel!!! (heehee I'll have to use that on OMG)

LOL if it wasn't ME that's involved, *I'd* be jealous too!! Actually a little nervous already. Now THAT'S silly!

Took a pic minutes ago that'll soon be avatar. (Tho I wanted fellow Pretenders fan Bev to see my album cover av 1st )

<"not me baby, I'm too Precious!! . . .eff off!!"

Tom, the thread is long ... but no one has met in person. Some chat on the phone though. Donna and Rachel haven't even met and they see the same doctors!

I wish I could be there!

Wish u could too!! All-a-y'all!!!!!

<call me! 408-555-4OMG or 1-800-nosoyboy>

<sniff> I'm so proud to be part of ceRk #1. May there be many more.

[Edit:

P.S. New avatar!!

Pic taken minutes ago. ]

P.P.S. I see u D...... <poof!> she's gone!

[nikki-uk]

I don't recogniZe two of those words . . . .

C'mon Tom !! I know you still know how to have fun !!

Actually a little nervous already. Now THAT'S silly!

Isn't it?....but natural

P.S. New avatar!!

.....and there YOU are !!...WELL HELLOOOOOO!!

[tom]

C'mon Tom !! I know you still know how to have fun !!

So confused!!!!

Had to read my orig post to see wth you're talking about . . .. NOW I get it.

I didn't mean THOSE TWO words!!!!

I capitalized my Z in recogniZe for you!!

I know nothin' BUT fun these days.

Couple days ago my car wouldn't start when heading to buddy's house (so funny I took a ph call on his porch and during it he calls me from inside house) and even a dead car didn't faze me or dim my smile!!

How's THAT for an unflappable mood!!

Susie?? How's the glutening?

Does (assumed) tiny amount still get worse on day2? Or is it day3 already? Hmmmm

[nikki-uk]

I capitalized my Z in recogniZe for you!!

Ooops yes (bloomin' spelling police! )

[Mtndog]

Hi!

[Mtndog]

More Uncle Ray fun!

Subject: Senior Breakfast

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.

"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."

"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.

"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously.

"YES!!" stated the waitress.

"I'll take the special then." my wife said.

"How do you want your eggs?" the waitress asked.

"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home.

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!! We've been around the block more than once.

[DingoGirl]

Susie?? How's the glutening?

Does (assumed) tiny amount still get worse on day2? Or is it day3 already? Hmmmm

glutening for Susie is only one day. Thank God. But 'tis a fierce and horrible day, maties, as we all know. Had to RUN out of the store - - made it home, thank the good Lord.

Have a SERIOUS and SAVAGE hankering for my nuggets w/ almonds. Back is thrown out, yet, may make the herculean effort that it takes - - like climbing the Hilary Steppe on Everest, my friends, and WITHOUT supplemental oxygen - - to get to the store and procure same. I think I"ll go in my pj's, even.

Of course....there is a lovely and friendly neighbor who would most happily go and get them for me.....

It is nice to have a fabulous neighbor. (um, hi Eric if you are reading this :lol: )

Bev - love uncle Ray.

Nikkeigh - - you look really fabulous and glamorous and POSH in your avatar.

Tom - - OMG you look too thin. you must eat and eat and EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tom]

glutening for Susie is only one day. Thank God.

Phew! to just 1 day.

(what . .. . me worry?)

Does Suess-sze figure that's due to just a small amount of hidden gluten?

Or is it still possible something more nefarious is at play? Was Annatto in there?

I saw mention of "artificial & natural vanilla flavouring" - is that known to sometimes contain gluten? Does Sue-Z-Q prefer I just shut the hell up? ha! tom cares not! :P Is it possible some other substance causes those 1day symptoms? Are you fine w/ casein?

We can INcrease the knowledge base this way!!!

(unless it was a Chinese nut bar w/ "natural anti-freeze flavor added")

Have a SERIOUS and SAVAGE hankering for my nuggets w/ almonds. Back is thrown out, yet, may make the herculean effort that it takes - - like climbing the Hilary Steppe on Everest, my friends, and WITHOUT supplemental oxygen - - to get to the store and procure same. I think I"ll go in my pj's, even.

Hankerings, particularly those most Savage, must be served.

Why??? "Because they're there!!"

(oops, no, not when it's harmful. I see a lotta hankerin's on OMG that best not be de-hankerfied)

Of course....there is a lovely and friendly neighbor who would most happily go and get them for me.....

Emily said she was thinking the same.

Tom - - OMG you look too thin. you must eat and eat and EAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hehe you should've seen me a couple yrs ago. After 20+ yrs of not at ALL looking heavy at 192-194, I was down to ~142!!

Yes . . . . . FIFTY POUNDS VANISHED !!

But I did get a lot of it back. (ugh betw the whole up&down i had to buy pants and shorts WAY the hell too many times!!) bleh shopping

Right now, I think it's largely USING so much more energy than I'm used to, and being way too unaccustomed to eating bigger meals. I think I've lost ~10lbs on this soyless kick.

Anyway . . . you're right . . . . just yesterday I told Jin my new resolution was to not leave the house w/out eating, for starters. I did that yesterday then only . .. . (oh my this *is* pretty bad) . .. only had some cashews (& redbridge!! THAT's food to a Monk) until finally making a real dinner after 1am. (yikes! i SAID it was pretty bad!)

So, like I told Jin, I am not doing THAT again! Problem is, I wasn't actually hungry all day. Coffee erases it.

[CarlaB]

Tom, I hear ya' ... when I dropped weight (137 to 123, not quite as much as you ) I kept wearing the same clothes figuring it would come back as fast as I lost it. Eventually, I had to go buy all new clothes. And, no, I don't especially like shopping. I'll buy a bunch of stuff all at one time to avoid multiple trips to the mall. I gained about 4 pounds back, woohoo.

I can't get away with skipping meals or not eating enough or else I get a stomach ache from the meds/supplements. Otherwise, I wouldn't be maintaining my weight either. I eat as much high calorie, high fat food as I can to avoid having to eat as much quantity wise. So, I'm eating all the stuff I used to avoid when I needed to watch my weight!

Start eating at normal times and eat enough!! That's an order!

[DingoGirl]

Does Suess-sze figure that's due to just a small amount of hidden gluten?

Or is it still possible something more nefarious is at play? Was Annatto in there?

I saw mention of "artificial & natural vanilla flavouring" - is that known to sometimes contain gluten? Does Sue-Z-Q prefer I just shut the hell up? ha! tom cares not! :P Is it possible some other substance causes those 1day symptoms? Are you fine w/ casein?

We can INcrease the knowledge base this way!!!

(

oh myyyyyyyyyyyyy gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Listen Ptaum. You are just wildly overanalyzing and overthinking my glutening. and yes, it WAS a glutening - - we all know the distinct signs

Um, halloo? anyone here but me think that Tom needs to introduce just a leet-le bit of soy back into his diet?

ohhhhhhhhh bah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: