Help! I'm New

[zjune]

I have adjusted pretty well to the gluten free diet and it has drastically changed my life for the better. Recently however I have had problems because I've been more social with friends and now dating someone for a couple months now. It has been harder for me to explain celiac disease and resist temptation and pressure from friends than it has been changing my diet! I am starting to feel bad for myself because I feel like everyone criticizes me and thinks I'm weird because I am following a healthy lifestyle. The guy I am dating has gone out of his way to take me to places I can eat food but then he will suggest ice cream and I feel like it has become sort of a hassle or inconvience or I'm not fun. I don't know what to do but I think I am just overly sensitive about this and need some advice. And yes I have caved in a few times (how can you really avoid gluten in resteraunts completely???) And feel like crap after I do!! I just want to be isolated sometimes so I don't have to go out to eat and deal with people. Anyways, why do people care what you eat if it doesn't affect them?

[wowzer]

You have to give your guy credit for trying to take you places where he feels it's safe for you to eat. The hardest part is getting everyone to understand. I grew up with a little sister that was diagnosed at a year old. I'm 52 now and just went on the gluten free diet the beginning of the year. Even I didn't realize how much there is to the diet. It's like we need a brochure to hand out to everyone! Unless you have a problem with dairy, many ice creams are gluten free. Edy's has many, unless they have like cookies or brownies in them, they are gluten free. You can check out all the gluten free flavors on the website. Just remember what you need to do for yourself. It's really not worth getting sick over eating.

[Guest cassidy]

At least the guy you are dating is trying. If he finds a safe place for dinner, could you go to one of your houses for ice cream? There is plenty of ice cream that we can eat, just maybe not from ice cream places. You could also make brownies or something portable and go somewhere and sit and eat them.

McDonald's ice cream is ok, I get the sundaes a lot, so that might work. You could get the ice cream in a sundae cup instead of a cone.

Or, if you got dessert at the restaurant, I ask for fresh berries. It is usually safe and even if they are not on the menu most places will make it for you.

It would be hard to go out with friends and on dates and have this restriction. I went on the diet after I was married so I didn't have to deal with that as much. I don't know why some people care so much what you are eating. I have found that my good friends, and my family, don't care at all. They let me do what I'm comfortable with and don't pressure me. It is probably hard for other people if they haven't been sick and are not mature enough to see things from your perspective.

Please don't cheat! Yes, you will get sick right away, but you are doing damage that takes time to heal. I learned the hard way about peer pressure, and I won't give into it now even if it is hard.

[tarnalberry]

One thing that can help is for you to not restrict other people's choices. That does require you to go somewhere and not eat anything if you can't be confident that you can find something gluten free, and early in the diet, or in your eating out experience, you may find that you're not prepared for that - and that's ok. But as far as socializing goes, I find that it is pretty important to have that option open (basically separating the socializing from the eating, at least mentally) as so many other people combine the two.

[sfm]

I have adjusted pretty well to the gluten free diet and it has drastically changed my life for the better. Recently however I have had problems because I've been more social with friends and now dating someone for a couple months now. It has been harder for me to explain celiac disease and resist temptation and pressure from friends than it has been changing my diet! I am starting to feel bad for myself because I feel like everyone criticizes me and thinks I'm weird because I am following a healthy lifestyle. The guy I am dating has gone out of his way to take me to places I can eat food but then he will suggest ice cream and I feel like it has become sort of a hassle or inconvience or I'm not fun. I don't know what to do but I think I am just overly sensitive about this and need some advice. And yes I have caved in a few times (how can you really avoid gluten in resteraunts completely???) And feel like crap after I do!! I just want to be isolated sometimes so I don't have to go out to eat and deal with people. Anyways, why do people care what you eat if it doesn't affect them?

Boy, can I relate! My boyfriend and I took our collective children (we're both divorced) to Friendlys this weekend, and I realized that there wasn't really anything on their menu that I could be sure was safe! However, I did check the labels on their ice cream (this was a little spy mission - I went to the freezer and checked the ice cream labels!). And I decided to take a chance, figuring the likelihood of the ice cream being contaminated was lower than with the food. So I skipped dinner, had coffee while everyone ate, but had a big old sundae... Not the healthiest solution, but it sure was satisfying!

I do feel self-conscious asking questions about the menu, but have found that most places are pretty nice about it. The only thing is, I find myself worrying about contamination, since I have had bad reactions a couple of times from that. I haven't caved, because I get so sick with such small amounts. I made pancakes Sunday morning and made a separate batch (separate pan), then started to flip mine with the same spatula as I used on the wheat pancakes. It may be overkill but I felt I had to throw the whole batch out, and I was biting my lip because I felt like crying. It's so annoying sometimes!

[Confused in Iowa]

It is hard! My son has Celiac's and we basically just do not go out and eat. It's really hard with him because he doesn't get sick when he is glutened...but I know just because he doesn't physically get sick, it still hurts his insides if he has wheat products. But it makes it hard sometimes for outside people to understand that.

But I ran into something with my boyfriends mother...we usually go to a lake for vacation and generally my kids haven't gone, but this year I'd like them to go along, she was all ok for that until I told her that one thing we would have to do more cooking in the cabin than eating out because I just don't trust restaurants and with him being 11, if he can't have what he wants, he gets bummed so easier if i just cook for him. She got quiet and went oh didn't think of that. I was instantly angry...This isn't just because he's on some diet to loose weight...lord knows we went in and out of restaurants one year because she was on a diet to loose weight and she made a big deal out of everything we ate. So once I gathered my cool, I told her that it was really no big deal, her and the rest of the family could go out to eat, and my son and i would stay at the cabin and i'd grill something for us and we'd have some mother/son bonding time. Just irritating how people can be.

OK i'm done venting!!!! No one else can appreciate this but everyone on this message board!

[Yenni]

It is hard! My son has Celiac's and we basically just do not go out and eat. It's really hard with him because he doesn't get sick when he is glutened...but I know just because he doesn't physically get sick, it still hurts his insides if he has wheat products. But it makes it hard sometimes for outside people to understand that.

But I ran into something with my boyfriends mother...we usually go to a lake for vacation and generally my kids haven't gone, but this year I'd like them to go along, she was all ok for that until I told her that one thing we would have to do more cooking in the cabin than eating out because I just don't trust restaurants and with him being 11, if he can't have what he wants, he gets bummed so easier if i just cook for him. She got quiet and went oh didn't think of that. I was instantly angry...This isn't just because he's on some diet to loose weight...lord knows we went in and out of restaurants one year because she was on a diet to loose weight and she made a big deal out of everything we ate. So once I gathered my cool, I told her that it was really no big deal, her and the rest of the family could go out to eat, and my son and i would stay at the cabin and i'd grill something for us and we'd have some mother/son bonding time. Just irritating how people can be.

OK i'm done venting!!!! No one else can appreciate this but everyone on this message board!

I can so relate to the restaurant and vacation part. My SIL used to lactose intolerant and I remember one time when she forgot her enzyme pills and she couldn't have any ice creme. her poor husband almost had to leave the restaurant to drive home and get them for her! It was a big thing and everything that is slightly hard for my SIL is drama. But she has absolutely no understanding for me. I have had similar situations as for your son happening to me amny times with her. Stupid people!

[jkmunchkin]

It is definately a lifestyle that takes some getting used to - but don't cave!! It's not worth making a few friends happy. All of my friends are supportive, but I know that secretly some of them think I'm being to narotic or think maybe I'm exaggerating just how careful I have to be. Honestly the best way I find to deal with it is to just not care what they want to think. I guess it helps that none of them have ever vocalized it - but I can see it. But my health is what's most important; so I just don't acknowledge to them what I know they're thinking and continue to do what I know is necessary for my body.

I love the fact that this guy you are dating is being so supportive. You definately need that, especially when you are newly diagnosed. Don't be afraid of going out for ice cream. I go all the time. I just ask the person behind the counter if they would mind washing off the ice cream scooper for me real quick because I'm allergic to any of the flavors with cookie or brownie. I've yet to have a server not go right over to the sink and wash it off.

This will get easier. And remember we're here when you need to vent.