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Fiddle-Faddle

Anybody Else Here With Autism/add In The Family?

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I'm just wondering--what with the relationship between autism and leaky gut/celiac (they don't always go together, but the number of autistics with leaky gut is startling), how many of us are there who have relatives with autism, Asperger's Syndrome, ADD, or ADHD?

If you don't know what Asperger's syndrome is, it's kind of like mild autism. People with Asperger's have great speech and reading skills--but very poor social skills. They tend to be great with math, science, and especially computers, but they fixate on things like maps and train schedules, and will do their best to tell you about the subject of their fixation at great length, even after you have made it perfectly clear that you'd rather not discuss it (or anything else) with them. They have trouble with eye contact (usually they can't do it at all, but sometimes they do it too much), which makes it very difficult for them to understand body language or facial expressions (which they usually don't notice due to lack of eye contact). They seem to fit into one of two extremes: either they are total neat freaks, and totally wig out if one spoon is out of place, or they are totally disorganized slobs and can never find a pencil (hence the nerdy pocket protectors?).

Rumor has it that Bill Gates has Asperger's. Anybody know if he has Celiac, too?

So--my son was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 3. I never had a diagnosis of anything--but I was reading chapter books at age 4, and had unbelievably bad social skills all the way into my 30's. And my husband doesn't do eye contact and absolutely hates social functions (including getting together with another couple for dinner, even if it's friends).

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Guest Robbin

Fiddle-Faddle, My oldest son was never diagnosed with Asperger's, but I sincerely believe he has it, too. He could read at age 3, got his first computer at 8 and was taking it apart and re-working the mother board at 10. He is also an amazing artist, but had an extremely hard time as a young child. I believe it is very, very mild, but the lack of social skills as a young boy so wanting friends was hard on him. He is a neat freak with drawers and clothing, but a mess with other types of organization, like time schedules, etc. Funny thing, my husband, his step-father sounds so much like yours. He has a hard time in social situations and doesn't make eye contact. He is a math genius, and explains complicated problems and math history sometimes to a very bored family. He doesn't like even having friends over either and it is hard since my youngest son and I are so out-going. He has so many other good qualities, I live with it, but I worry about retirement(!)

I know I probably posted this before, but my son (actually both of them) shows all the classic signs of celiac, and has since baby-hood. I only wish I would have known then what I know now since he is almost 21 and has suffered with juvenile diabetes, other illnesses, and social skills problems so much. He has quite a few friends, now, but it seems he is being used by a lot of them and he is anxious to please and be a friend, I am afraid he gets hurt by them alot. Do you have similar experiences/observations in regard to the friendship problem?

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Fiddle Faddle, I have Asperger Syndrome (as well as Tourette Syndrome and Celiac disease). Three of my six brothers obviously have AS as well, as well as my sister, and my father undoubtedly had it (even though none of them admit it). I must have embarrassed my family to death a million times in social situations, as I have a knack of always saying and doing the wrong thing without knowing it. Even if they explain why it was impossible, usually I don't understand what the problem is, which means that I can't avoid doing the same thing again. I TRY to understand, but it simply makes no sense, all those social rules are so arbitrary and illogical, and I am a logical person.

There are many others in my family with Celiac symptoms, but again, they don't want to know. It's very frustrating. And believe me, I HAVE lectured them on the dangers of undiagnosed Celiac syndrome (I am sure you can imagine me doing that), as Celiac right now is my obsession. And it better be, because the only way to be safe is to find out everything I can on it.

Actually, not all Aspies are good at math (I have dyscalculia, meaning that math is my worst nightmare), a lot of females especially with AS are good with languages instead (me included).


I am a German citizen, married to a Canadian 29 years, four daughters, one son, seven granddaughters and four grandsons, with one more grandchild on the way in July 2009.

Intolerant to all lectins (including gluten), nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and salicylates.

Asperger Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome, Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency), hypothyroidism, fatigue syndrome, asthma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Hi, Robbin,

Yes, the friendship thing is a constant challenge. My son is a stickler for the rules, and has trouble understanding when the rules get "bent" in any situation--and when he doesn't understand and gets frustrated, he gets (like most of us) very upset--which prompts the other kids to make fun of him. He is also anxious to please and be liked. Luckily (in a strange sort of way), there are so many kids now with Asperger's, he has no trouble finding friends with similar issues--they seem to sense each other across a crowded room and make a beeline for one another--and when they don't, their moms do! By my count, he has 4 or 5--no, wait, 6-- friends with the same issues--and not all of them are officially "diagnosed," but that doesn't matter. It's funny when they get together, though--the social awkwardnesses and inappropriatenesses just disappear and they seem suddenly TOTALLY normal.

Some things that have helped: Tae Kwon Do--rules that he can follow, it demands some eye contact--and, now that he has a black belt, it's a source of respect from his peers! Violin lessons--taught him to listen. Drama--taught him just about everything-- facial expression, body language, vocal inflection, and flexibility.

One thing I love--these kids are totally honest. I value that highly.

Hi, Ursula,

WOW, your family must be interesting! I was thinking what a great movie it would make (something like "Holidaytime in a family with Asperger's?")--but nobody else would understand it except those of us who live it or live with it! By the way, does the Tourette's improve with the gluten-free diet?

About your saying the supposedly "wrong" things at the wrong time--does it help if you think of the neurotypicals as belonging to a foreign language/culture? The way you think and act isn't "wrong;" it's just part of a different culture. You don't have to change who you are, you just have to learn how to translate. American social culture isn't that illogical; it's just very, very complicated. Some things have their roots in history (like napkin on your lap and elbows off the table, for example). Other cultural traditions are based in considering the feelings of someone else--for example, so often women will ask if they look fat, but they don't want an honest answer-- they think it's obvious that they are really desperately asking someone to tell them that they don't look fat, but they're afraid to say it directly like that. What we need is a neurotypical-AS /AS-neurotypical dictionary, and another dictionary of body language, and then one for facial expressions!

If it makes you feel any better, I put my foot in my mouth with astonishing regularity.

About math--my son has trouble because his mind is 3 or 4 steps ahead--and he doesn't realize that by skipping those 3 or 4 steps, he messes up the answer (usually, one of those 3 or 4 steps contained some kind of important twist that changed the final answer). He also thinks much faster than he can write (and his writing is very messy), so his columns of numbers get all jumbled up and he ends up adding some of the ones into the tens column, or something like that. A friend just suggested to me last week to give him graph paper to do his math problems on, and boy oh boy, did that help! It forced him to keep his columns neat, you see.

Learning languages seems to be a breeze for him, so I try to teach him that much of the unspoken social rules (and I'm learning that 10-year-old boys have their own rules, but they're not half as horrible as the rules made by some of the 10-year-old girls) is simply a foreign language that he can learn.

:rolleyes: Of course, I may sound like I know what I'm talking about, but Heaven help me when he hits his teenage years!

Apologies to all if this is off topic (celiac, this is)...I'm still curious how many of us have or are related to people with Asperger's/ADD, etc. What if everything on the autism spectrum is related to Celiac brain fog?

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Okay, answering some of your questions: Yes, the Tourette tics have improved on the gluten-free diet. Others have even noticed that my tics have lessened quite a bit. And whenever I've been glutened (or eaten something else I am intolerant to, it's impossible to always know what it was), my tics will get worse again. So, I still have quite a few tics, but they aren't nearly as bad now.

I doubt that brain fog is the problem. How then would people like Albert Einstein (who undoubtedly was autistic) been doing his kind of incredible thinking? Or all the computer geniuses (which includes my older brother) inventing new programs?

With culture, I have a double problem. I grew up in Germany, where the rules are different. It was impossible there to fit in (people are terribly formal). But the rules are so different here, which is also confusing. Fortunately for me, many people just think I make social mistakes because I am German. Nobody but my own family minds that, it seems. My friends think I am fine as I am (and my friends are all NTs).

In Germany using graph paper is actually required for math, meaning that my columns were always perfect. I am able to do all the simple arithmetic, my problems start with geometry, and physics, because I am incapable of remembering and applying formulas. Plus, multiplication over five and division are difficult.

Teaching a kid social rules like you do is great, I wished I've had the same kind of teaching, I'm sure it would have helped a lot.

When people ask me a question that obviously requires a dishonest answer (like saying you don't look fat when you do), I have a problem. I am incapable of lying! I can't tell a lie without people spotting it immediately, no matter how hard I try. Which unfortunately makes me blunt, and people don't always appreciate that (including people in forums, which makes it hard for me to be in any, I'm surprised I've been here for as long as I have).

In our family the 'weird' kids were perfectly normal, even though none of us had any friends outside our own family. We shared the friends the 'normal' kids had, and were each others best friends.


I am a German citizen, married to a Canadian 29 years, four daughters, one son, seven granddaughters and four grandsons, with one more grandchild on the way in July 2009.

Intolerant to all lectins (including gluten), nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and salicylates.

Asperger Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome, Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency), hypothyroidism, fatigue syndrome, asthma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Well, here goes . .. I have ADHD, my daughter has ADHD, and my son has ADD. My daughter and I used to think that he was just WAY too mellow.

Since being gluten-free, have had to adjust my medication dosage down some. Concentration has improved somewhat off meds. Have to state, however, that I scored, according to the doctor, "EXTREMELY HIGH" in all aspects of the testing. Don't you know MY parents had a great time when I was little?


Lynne

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try tomorrow".

"There's not a word yet, for old friends we've just met. Part Heaven, part space, or have I found my place? You can just visit, but I plan to stay, I'm going to go back there some day." Gonzo, in the Muppet Movie

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I am able to do all the simple arithmetic, my problems start with geometry, and physics, because I am incapable of remembering and applying formulas.

Lol... I couldn't help but be amused - I majored in physics (instead of chemistry or biology) specifically BECAUSE I hated memorizing formulas. It's all about deriving from first princiles. :-) (Beginning organic chemistry... oh, was that nothing but an exercise in memorization... blah!)


Tiffany aka "Have I Mentioned Chocolate Lately?"

Inconclusive Blood Tests, Positive Dietary Results, No Endoscopy

G.F. - September 2003; C.F. - July 2004

Hiker, Yoga Teacher, Engineer, Painter, Be-er of Me

Bellevue, WA

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Guest BellyTimber

Hi, another Aspie here (I also replied to a previous thread on the topic).

I also identify with "attention deficit" without the hyperactivity.

When I went WHEAT free four years ago I started communicating better (but am not cured in that area of life). I had to go free of rye barley and spelt (and oats) one year later when I had developed pain in the abdomen.

(Am now back on oats apparently safely)

I was extremely emaciated up to my mid 20s which is an obvious coeliac history.

I don't fit either of the stereotypes listed, and very much doubt anyone does.

I think it very dislikeable that the term "mild" gets used. This has got nothing to do with washing-up liquid.

I don't think there is any point in speculating whether well-known people have got this condition or not. We can't account for their appearance or the impression they cause. We might not be in the slightest bit interested. We who have got it are the right people to diagnose ourselves.

I think it is important to be interested in ourselves and the people directly around us on the personal level.

Ursula, tell it the way it is, not the way you think people will want to hear, then you can't put a foot wrong, surely. Not in my book at any rate. Don't lecture your relatives on the dangers of undiagnosed celiac, lecture the doctors!

I would highly value a companion who could frequently update me on the history of mathematics.

I am highly dyspraxic which is a condition affecting motor planning, motor execution and associated sensory processing like depth, motion, space, timing etc. I also am affected in my awareness of contrast. I have considerable hearing differences from standard.

People who are highly dyspraxic from infancy make up a whacking four per cent of the population in any country and are totally neglected by all professsions without exception.

In my family history there were two generations running with someone who was an immigrant in a different country, having that background can always make one feel there is sufficient reason for differences.

(Living is sufficient reason for differences)

It sounds like you three or four people on this thread could do with a list of web sites and book titles, is that so?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressrele...gnificent.shtml

well that one's about a drama (which I haven't seen and cannot say whether I approve)

Have you joined societies about this/these condition(s) already and are you aware of web site(s) on the subject(s) already?

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Michael, I have done extensive research on autism and AS, and own a ton of books on the subject (definitely the ones worth reading). Too bad my family isn't interested in the least, which holds true of Celiac disease as well. They simply don't care to find out 'what makes me tick', or what makes me sick. They lecture me on the way I should behave, and don't care to leave crumbs everywhere which contaminate my food. I am different. Too bad for me. I'm the odd one out, therefore I am the one who is expected to conform. That it isn't possible for me to do doesn't matter.

As for lecturing the doctors on celiac disease, I have. But my brothers and sister are in Germany, it won't do them any good that I lecture the doctors here in Canada.

And yes, I was part of several AS forums, as well as some autism websites. I quit all of the 'official' sites because of the garbage being taught (by all non-autistic people, of course, who think they know us better than we know ourselves). And I quit all but one of the forums because a lot of people with Asperger syndrome are the most intolerant people I've ever encountered. I was frequently being attacked for my Christian beliefs and my conservative political stance. Because, after all, 'real' Aspies are too logical to be religious, and 'ought' to be liberal.


I am a German citizen, married to a Canadian 29 years, four daughters, one son, seven granddaughters and four grandsons, with one more grandchild on the way in July 2009.

Intolerant to all lectins (including gluten), nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and salicylates.

Asperger Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome, Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency), hypothyroidism, fatigue syndrome, asthma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Ursula--I am so sorry to hear that your family is being less than supportive. I really understand that. As for those forums that you used to be a part of, it's their loss. I'm glad thaat you are a part of our support group :)


Patti

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

"When people show you who they are, believe them"--Maya Angelou

"Bloom where you are planted"--Bev

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Thanks Patti, I appreciate you saying that. Sometimes I feel like it's me alone against the world.


I am a German citizen, married to a Canadian 29 years, four daughters, one son, seven granddaughters and four grandsons, with one more grandchild on the way in July 2009.

Intolerant to all lectins (including gluten), nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and salicylates.

Asperger Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome, Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency), hypothyroidism, fatigue syndrome, asthma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Guest Robbin
And I quit all but one of the forums because a lot of people with Asperger syndrome are the most intolerant people I've ever encountered. I was frequently being attacked for my Christian beliefs and my conservative political stance. Because, after all, 'real' Aspies are too logical to be religious, and 'ought' to be liberal.

Ursula, THAT describes my son to a "T". Very intolerant. The only way to live is by example of your faith, and your committment to your health. You deserve much respect, and if you don't get the healthy respect you deserve at home, you certainly will get it here. Illness is sometimes a mystery to the people who have not experienced it. Unfortunately, some members of your family may have to get really sick themselves in order to be more compassionate and accomodating to your needs. I hope not, but some people are just that way. All you can do is pray for them, and take care of your own physical/spiritual/emotional health. The more I learn about Asperger's, the more I realize just how frustrating it must be. I only wish my son was 10 again so I could do things a little differently. I home schooled him for 6, 7, 8th grades because he was picked on so much and to help take care of his diabetes as well, but now he blames me and says I crippled him emotionally by doing that. (Forgetting all the elementary school problems and the fact he went to regular high school) Oh I wish kids and families came with instruction manuals! Take care all and thank you, fiddlefaddle for such an interesting thought on possible links to Aspergers.

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:rolleyes: Of course, I may sound like I know what I'm talking about, but Heaven help me when he hits his teenage years!

I had to reply to this. Your son sounds so much like mine! We found martial arts to be very helpful also. My DS is now in his early 20's and still just as much a stickler for 'the rules', it really let's me breathe a sigh of relief. He would no more think of doing something like drinking and driving "a rule" than he would think of cutting off his own arm. He will walk away from risky situations without a second thought for peer pressure. Just be sure to teach him how to tackfully turn down offers that 'should be refused' though. My DD at 11 was offered pot, instead of just saying no she lectured the other kids, that could have had serious consequnces. Most of these kids, I think, make good choices but can be very blunt when doing so.


Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying

"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)

Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002

Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis

All bold resoved or went into remission in time with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002

 Gene Test Aug 2007

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

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Thanks Patti, I appreciate you saying that. Sometimes I feel like it's me alone against the world.

Ursula, my first thought is: considering that 5 members of your family have AS (whether or not they realize it), they are pretty lousy at translating "appropriate" behavior for you! I would have expected them to be somewhat rigid in their thoughts, sure, but if they think they're so great at "appropriate " behaviour, you'd think they'd be able to explain it effectively and kindly.

My second thought--every post of yours that I have seen has been articulate AND beautifully written!

Michael, I apologize if my use of the word "mild" made you think of washing-up soap! That never occured to me. I think of mild as meaning the opposite of "extreme", or as meaning "gentle, "or perhaps "a little bit.". I think a good many people may also think of it that way. On the other hand, now that you've talked about washing-up soap, I will think of Palmolive Dish Detergent it every time I see the word, "mild!" (Don't worry, I'm not bothered by it; I think it's kind of funny. :) )

I'm glad you answered my question--you have a lot of interesting insights.

(I wanted to write more but I gotta go pick up my kids now!!!!!!)

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Fiddle-Faddle, when I am saying that 5 family members have AS, I mean my family back in Germany. And they don't think I'm odd at all (even though my mother didn't like me, and abused me and the others that were 'different'). It's my family here in Canada (my husband and children), who are the problem. And none of them have AS.

Thanks for your encouragement, I can sure use it, as I am having a bout of severe depression right now.


I am a German citizen, married to a Canadian 29 years, four daughters, one son, seven granddaughters and four grandsons, with one more grandchild on the way in July 2009.

Intolerant to all lectins (including gluten), nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and salicylates.

Asperger Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome, Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency), hypothyroidism, fatigue syndrome, asthma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Fiddle-Faddle, when I am saying that 5 family members have AS, I mean my family back in Germany. And they don't think I'm odd at all (even though my mother didn't like me, and abused me and the others that were 'different'). It's my family here in Canada (my husband and children), who are the problem. And none of them have AS.

Thanks for your encouragement, I can sure use it, as I am having a bout of severe depression right now.

Oh, I'm sorry, Ursula, I misunderstood.

It must be terribly frustrating for you. Please make sure that you are able to get a little bit of fresh air (even if there's no sunshine yet!) and exercise--that helped me tremendously when I had post-partum depression (a different source of depression, I know). The hardest part was getting started--I was convinced I didn't have the energy to even walk around the block, but once I started (well, actually a friend dragged me out), I felt SO much better!

Maybe there is a way to make your family understand (at a time when neither you or they are upset) that you are TRYING, but there are some thing s that are difficult for you to understand, and that they could help you tremendously by

1)treating you kindly (who in their right mind thinks that berating someone who is trying their hardest is going to help?)

2)and by THEIR thinking in terms of translating social stuff in advance for you as a language that you don't yet fully understand and

3)if and when you've made an error of judgment, they could let you know in a patient, non-confrontational way and help you see maybe 2 or 3 alternatives that would have been better and WHY they would have been better (for example, "Gee, Mom, remeber when you said, "___" to the neighbor yesterday? I think that might have made her feel uncomfortable because to HER, it meant, "_____." WE understand what you meant to communicate but SHE understood it differently. Here are some good ways to get that specific message you intended across so the other person understands it the way you intended it: _______ and _____ and ______. The reason these ways work better is because most people understand this to mean _______.

I'm leaving all these things blank because I didn't choose a specific subject, so I don't know how to fill them in. If you'd like to give me a specific example, I can try to fill in the blanks effectively, if you think that might help. Or you can invite your family onto this thread and we'll all yell at them for you!!!! (I'm 75% joking--it would not be appropriate for any of us to yell at your family--but I'm sure some of us FEEL like yelling at them, even though we can't.)

At any rate, you always have support on this board. Hang in there!!!!

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My son has Asperger's and is also sensitive to the chemical dye additives in food. He will have meltdowns with gluten or dyes if he eats them. His pupils dilate, his ears get red, and he gets emotionally out of control.

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Ursula, I hope I haven't offended you. If I did, I do apologize. :(

Sorry, didn't see this until now. No, you didn't offend me, as you're honestly trying to help. It was just that I didn't know what to say, because some of your suggestions wouldn't help at all.

In principle, your way of trying to explain learning to fit in better, is good. In reality, it would only help to understand that particular situation where things went wrong. But I appear to be incapable of learning from my social mistakes, because I cannot apply what I learned in one situation to another one that is different (even if only slightly).

So, if today I said something that wasn't great to my neighbour, and somebody explained to me why it wasn't and I understood that, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't make the same kind of mistake tomorrow with somebody else.

And since my autistic side is getting worse the older I get, I will likely never fully understand (or want to be in, for the most part) social situations. If I was allowed to be, I'd rather be alone most of the time (alone with my computer, that is).

Thanks for trying to help, and for understanding! I appreciate it.


I am a German citizen, married to a Canadian 29 years, four daughters, one son, seven granddaughters and four grandsons, with one more grandchild on the way in July 2009.

Intolerant to all lectins (including gluten), nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and salicylates.

Asperger Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome, Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency), hypothyroidism, fatigue syndrome, asthma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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In principle, your way of trying to explain learning to fit in better, is good. In reality, it would only help to understand that particular situation where things went wrong. But I appear to be incapable of learning from my social mistakes, because I cannot apply what I learned in one situation to another one that is different (even if only slightly).

So, if today I said something that wasn't great to my neighbour, and somebody explained to me why it wasn't and I understood that, that doesn't mean that I wouldn't make the same kind of mistake tomorrow with somebody else.

If it makes you feel any better, I think most people are like that to some extent (some of us, myself included, more than others!)

I'm not officially Asperger's, but I do notice some shadows of it looming in my social skills--which greatly improved over the last couple of decades, thanks mostly to some good friends who understood that I wasn't an idiot, and didn't mean to offend people, so they explained situations as they went past, and analyzed a lot of potential situations with me, not becuase they thought I needed a diagnosis, but just because they were nice people with much better social skills than I had!

I think something that may have kept me from processing things in a more typically autistic way was my love of reading as a child (I learned to read when I was 4, and got about halfway through Jane Eyre when I was 5). I never enjoyed "grownup" books, but always loved children's classics. I liked reading better than playing with other children, partly becasue the characters were so much more predictable than my peers. Even so, I think those books--especially a bunch of 1950's and 60's series aimed at young girls such as the Meet the Austens series by Madeleine L'Engle and the Beany Malone series by Lenore Mattingly Weber--actually taught me an enormous amount about social skills. Where I ran into problems was when real people didn't act like the ones in books, but both of those series actually dealt a lot with that sort of thing.

Anyway, to me, on the computer at least, you seem more sensitive than a lot of the supposedly "normal" people I know! Don't under-rate yourself just because your family doesn't score high on the sensitivity chart!

You have learned English fluently; social skills are simply another language to learn. I'd bet that when your family pointed out your "social mistakes," they never bothered to point out clues (facial expressions, for example) that you might have missed that you could look for the next time, etc.

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I am glad that you are managing better with age. Some Aspies, especially the ones that barely register as such (and you likely belong in that category) appear to adapt better socially with age. If you would do the Aspie questionnaires (developed especially by Simon Baron-Cohen in England, who is, other than Tony Attwood in Australia, the foremost AS specialist in the world), you might score within Aspie range, but just barely, while my scores are usually almost through the top.

I think though that my family are very judgmental of me, and are not kind when I make mistakes at all. My brain registers as an extreme male (or autistic) brain, meaning that in most respects, I think more like a man. Therefore, for the most part, I can't handle being with many women, because all they want to talk about is fashion ('fashion' to me is, what I personally like, is comfortable and soft), shopping (arghhhh), children (okay, as long as it doesn't go on for hours), cooking (I hate it) and gossiping about other people (mind your own business!). Small talk is not something I can manage to do for more than a few seconds. I only talk about things that are worth talking about. Weather..........I only talk about it, when it is severe and a problem. Otherwise a sentence is enough, lets move on!

So, after church for instance, or social functions (if I go, rather than sending my husband by himself), I start out with the women, which is expected, and eventually drift over to the guys, who are talking about things worth talking about. And I will discuss things the way they do..........which looks like arguing to a lot of women, while it is only bantering and discussing things heatedly, but still friendly.

So, my daughters will then tell me I acted inappropriately, that 'I make an argument out of everything, and made a fool of myself'. The guys don't see it that way, and actually like me! So, in the meantime I have decided that my daughter is the one with the problem here, and I don't go to social functions with her if I can help it. The other judgmental one is married now, and I don't see her that often, which is fine. I get along better with my two oldest daughters when I don't see them too often. I love them, but can't be with either one of them for more than four days without getting totally demoralized. Which is unfortunate, because my grandchildren love having me around, and say that 'Oma never stays long enough'.


I am a German citizen, married to a Canadian 29 years, four daughters, one son, seven granddaughters and four grandsons, with one more grandchild on the way in July 2009.

Intolerant to all lectins (including gluten), nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and salicylates.

Asperger Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome, Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency), hypothyroidism, fatigue syndrome, asthma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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I get along better with my two oldest daughters when I don't see them too often. I love them, but can't be with either one of them for more than four days without getting totally demoralized. Which is unfortunatel, because my grandchildren love having me around, and say that 'Oma never stays long enough'.

Wow, that sounds familiar. My mother tends to be sharply critical, both in the way she sees everything (very negative) and how she presents her suggestions. We get along with each other much better now that we live 500 miles apart--but then my children don't get to spend enough time with her. Most of the time, actually, I don't get enough time with her either.

I like dressing up maybe twice a year. The rest of the time, my favorite apparel is a track suit, or jeans and hoodie! I like the way makeup looks (when applied tastefully), but I can't stand having makeup on my face--I like to be able to wash my face whenever I want! I can't be bothered blow-drying my hair, either--who has time for that? When I was younger, I just wore my hair in two braids all the time--wish I were still young enough to get away with that hairstyle!

As far as talking with men or women, I do very well with either when it's one on one, but I'm usually not as comfortable in a group of women. I have been stunned by what I've observed in the preschool with my 3 kids. Inotice that the boys have no trouble adding 1 to 10 boys to their little goups of 2 or 3. Different story with the girls. They all pair up, and if one is left out and wants to join a pair, they all exclude her, no matter WHO the left-out one is. It's scary--they're only 4 years old! Where do they learn this, and why? I even see my own daughter doing this, and believe me, I have coached her on including others!

You say you're not good at small talk--but your writing style flows very smoothly. Do you speak differently from the way you write?

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Wow, this thread caught my eye for some reason today because I was poking around again on the SpecialFoods site. The company makes and develops foods and flours from unusual sources for those who have an extremely restrictive diet due to severe allergies. Well, they also have a food program/special diet for Aspergers, Autism, Celiac, and gluten-free/CF. http://www.specialfoods.com/CIP-Aut-Diet.html

I thought it might be of interest and would be interested to hear the opinions of others with these issues (asperger/autism/add) to hear if you felt it had merit.

One of the things that caught my eye about the program was the graphs about thinking clearly, which has been a noticeable issue for me. I do not have asperbergers, but I definitely have noticed a marked decline in my ability to think.

Anyhoo, I wanted to pass it along in case it is of value to anyone. The main website is http://www.specialfoods.com. It is different and interesting, and I imagine could be a lifesaver for those with severe problems.


Gluten intolerant and egg intolerant

Gluten/egg free since 11/2005 :-)

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I like dressing up maybe twice a year. The rest of the time, my favorite apparel is a track suit, or jeans and hoodie! I like the way makeup looks (when applied tastefully), but I can't stand having makeup on my face--I like to be able to wash my face whenever I want! I can't be bothered blow-drying my hair, either--who has time for that? When I was younger, I just wore my hair in two braids all the time--wish I were still young enough to get away with that hairstyle!

You say you're not good at small talk--but your writing style flows very smoothly. Do you speak differently from the way you write?

Ha, another one who cares more about comfort than fashion! I despise having to dress up, and do it only if I absolutely have to. At the same time I like nice clothes, as long as they're comfortable and soft (nothing is allowed to be tight), and I have to take out all the tags. Often just cutting them out isn't good enough, I have to undo the stitching and take the whole thing off, or the left over pieces drive me out of my mind.

I used to wear braids, too! Now my hair is quite short (as you can see in my picture), and easy to take care of.

I also don't wear makeup, I just don't feel like bothering, what's the point? And it makes me look too different, I don't like it.

What I mean with small talk is, talking about nothing really, just wasting time with fluff. And I hate it, when people say, "How are you?" but they couldn't care less, it's just a greeting to them! You could say, 'terrible', and they wouldn't even notice, say, 'that's good' and keep going. :rolleyes: When I call people on the phone, it is always with a good reason, and once I said what I called for, I run out of things to say. I hate those awkward pauses on the phone, it's so embarassing!

And yes, I express myself much better in writing than when I talk. Sometimes I am okay and smooth when talking, but I much prefer writing. Because when I write I can think much better, and I can revise what I say if I have to, I don't have to be spontaneous.

Meg, I haven't followed your link yet. I am sure that whatever the diet is, it would probably be quite similar to the diet I am on now. And it is helping to some extent with the AS, even though celiac disease didn't cause the AS, it's genetic, too. Therefore in my case, it won't 'fix' me (thank God), as I don't need fixing. But it's helping with the brain fog, and emotionally I am doing much better.


I am a German citizen, married to a Canadian 29 years, four daughters, one son, seven granddaughters and four grandsons, with one more grandchild on the way in July 2009.

Intolerant to all lectins (including gluten), nightshades (potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and salicylates.

Asperger Syndrome, Tourette Syndrome, Addison's disease (adrenal insufficiency), hypothyroidism, fatigue syndrome, asthma

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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I have to take out all the tags. Often just cutting them out isn't good enough, I have to undo the stitching and take the whole thing off, or the left over pieces drive me out of my mind.

What I mean with small talk is, talking about nothing really, just wasting time with fluff. And I hate it, when people say, "How are you?" but they couldn't care less, it's just a greeting to them! You could say, 'terrible', and they wouldn't even notice, say, 'that's good' and keep going. :rolleyes: When I call people on the phone, it is always with a good reason, and once I said what I called for, I run out of things to say. I hate those awkward pauses on the phone, it's so embarassing!

And yes, I express myself much better in writing than when I talk. Sometimes I am okay and smooth when talking, but I much prefer writing. Because when I write I can think much better, and I can revise what I say if I have to, I don't have to be spontaneous.

I cut out tags, too!!!! That's the only reason I keep a seam ripper (I'm not a good seamstress). I could never understand why the clothing manufacturers couldn't use stick-on labels so we could easily unstick them. At least, Fruit-of-theLoom and Hanes are starting to use stamp-on labels--mushc less irritating. I'm also noticing that my 4-year-old gets very itchy when she wears nylon or polyester.

I do enjoy small talk, though, especially since having kids (increased my appreciation of adult conversation!). Once you start connecting with people, it gets almost addictive. People around here notice when you say, "terrible," but they sometimes get very uncomfortable about it, although the good ones will give helpful suggestions.

Unfortunately, I look hideous in short hair, so I'm biding my time, waiting for braids to come back....

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