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Rachel--24

Rachelville 2

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Everyone -- I need some advice. I said I'd share, so here it goes. 3 and a half years ago when I met my wife, I was still, in the legal sense only, married. Being a dumb male, I lied and told her it was already over. Truth is I was still waiting for the paper work.

Now that I am going off to Greenland in a few months (for a whole year) she is having some trust issues. I know I brought this on myself, and she is right in some ways to not trust me. I know she loves me. I also know that she is the BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!!! :wub: How can I show her I mean that, and get her to at least TRY to trust that I am coming home again.

Sorry to ramble, and sorry if that doesn't make much sense, but it is driving me crazy. I never meant to be so stupid, and I know I should have told her from day one. Especially since the first words out of her mouth on our first date was "I have a 10 year old son".

I also hope this does not getmy citizenship in Rachelville revoked. I hope you guys can help. I feel safe here.

Ryan,

First of all a big hug. I understand what you are going through. My husband and my situation was similar. It took his divorce 2 1/2 to 3 years to be finalized, although I knew he was "married". It was a long wait for us until we could be married, long custody battle. Anyway, on the issue of trust. I am a christian so am coming from that angle.

When I met my husband, neither of us were christians. We started going to church for the boys. It has been his commitment to Jesus that has helped me with the trust issue. This last year we've gone through some struggles and I started fearing he'd leave since our relationship with Jesus wasn't as strong. We got through the rough spot and are stronger today. Every rough spot you make it through makes the relationship stronger. If we hadn't become christians it would have been more difficult for me.

My husband leaves "notes" for me on the marquee screen saver on the computer. I know since you won't be there you'll have to find some other way to let her know she is in your thoughts. Will you have computer access so you can send her frequent notes. Letters home may be nice if she prefers something in your handwriting (but still do the computer notes). Send her flowers occassionaly. My husband was gone for only 2 weeks when we were going through a rough spot towards the beginning of our marriage. He was training for a truck driving job over the road. Even though things were not great between us when he left, I looked forward to his phone calls. The job didn't work out and he was later able to find a job where he could be home nights.

My point is to make sure your wife knows she is first and foremost in your thoughts, every minute of the day. The more contact you can have with her the better. If you have set hours of work, then set up set hours of communication time, whether phone or messaging. She will look forward to these times. Do you get to come home at all during the year you are away?

I'm sorry I don't have much to offer.

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I'm so glad your first day is going well Morgan. I was always nervous the first day too, with each class, until I got myself there and situated- I think that's quite normal :)

Carla- what can we do to get you better?? :)

Patti- Yeah, that "denial" aspect gets us everytime, doesn't it :lol: The more I thought about it, and went back over everything, I realized I was given little signs that the make-up wasn't working out for me, the burning especially. But did I listen? No. I kept using it thinking it's going to improve, or the burning must be something else. Oh well, we live and learn I guess :lol:

Did I miss something? I am confused :blink:

Sorry, I did mean Penguins avatar. I'll bet you were confused.

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Ok All.....

We are starting school today so my responses may get very brief. The first week or two are slower but once we get into the full day I may not have much time aside from reading. All of you are always in my thoughts though even if I don't have time to post. :)

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Hola amigos!!!

I'M BAAACKK from my Spanish adventures and OMG I have SOOO much to catch up on

1.New Home (Hooray!!)

2.New Section on intolerances!

Good googly moogly,I Have just skimmed this thread,will read through later-so much to do (and much washing to do after 2 weeks away)

We had a great time,and Terry only got spinached once.

Jet lagged and seriously tanned :lol:

Check in later guys!

It's good to be home :D:D

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Sorry, I did mean Penguins avatar. I'll bet you were confused.

:lol: Susan, it's ok. Thanks for straightening that out!

Andrea- Very excited for you as you start school today :) Will miss you, look forward to your drive by posts :lol:

Welcome back Nikki!! Look forward to hearing about your trip :)

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Hi everyone!! :D

I had a great weekend....just got caught up on all the posts.

Carrie....Congrats on your wedding!!! You look beautiful...love the avatar. :) I hope you'll stay in R-ville....or at least visit when you can. :)

Morgan,

Happy first day of school....good luck!!

Nikki.....WELCOME BACK!!

Everyone -- I need some advice. I said I'd share, so here it goes. 3 and a half years ago when I met my wife, I was still, in the legal sense only, married. Being a dumb male, I lied and told her it was already over. Truth is I was still waiting for the paper work.

Now that I am going off to Greenland in a few months (for a whole year) she is having some trust issues. I know I brought this on myself, and she is right in some ways to not trust me. I know she loves me. I also know that she is the BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME!!! :wub: How can I show her I mean that, and get her to at least TRY to trust that I am coming home again.

Sorry to ramble, and sorry if that doesn't make much sense, but it is driving me crazy. I never meant to be so stupid, and I know I should have told her from day one. Especially since the first words out of her mouth on our first date was "I have a 10 year old son".

I also hope this does not getmy citizenship in Rachelville revoked. I hope you guys can help. I feel safe here.

Ryan....Noooooo....we would never revoke your Rachelville citizenship. I'm glad you feel you could share this with us. :)

I agree with the advice you've already recieved. I was going to say nearly the same thing Andrea said...write constantly...send flowers....do everything you can to show her how special she is. I understand how your wife feels....I'd most likely feel the same. It would be very hard for me to deal with my partner leaving for a whole year...an issue of broken trust would make it that much harder. You say you know she loves you....I'm assuming you arent worried about leaving her for the year...you know she will still hold you in her heart. Just do whatever you can to give her that same sense of security. The time apart could actually strengthen your bond...when its time for you to come home she may have learned to trust you fully...she may know for sure that you are worthy of her trust again. She might feel she made a mistake fully trusting you in the past but now you have the opportunity to change that and to show her she means the world to you.

If you could get away from Greenland during your year long stay maybe you could set up a surprise visit?? I'm sure she would love that. :)

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Ok.. we are back from our doctors appt in PA. The neurologist and the nurse practioner basically said the neurologist we saw at Jersey Shore Medical Center was nuts. Everything with him is fine. They think he is a remarkable baby given the circumstances that he was born. They cannot believe his size and how healthy he looks for being a 28 1/2 week baby!!!

I havent felt so relieved in such a long time. These guys are from the number one pediatric hospital in the country. I have total faith in them!

Thank you all for your well wishes!

Carrie- please stay in R'ville! The more the merrier!!

Morgan- I wish you all the best with your classes. Drop by when you have the chance.

Judy- Wish you could have met up with me! How close do you live to Chalfont, PA? I got a paper at the neurologists office for a Celiac Support Group. Its for children, but I am thinking I will go anyway. Depending on how far away it is. An afternoon of cooking, learning and trying new recipes. Its on Sunday Sept 17 2006. Let me know if you or anyone else out there would like to go, maybe we can meet up!!

:)

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Thank you all for the wonderful advice.

I will be able to be home twice. The Canadian Forces will fly me home once, and they are paying for a nice Carribean vacation for the whole family while I'm gone as well. So in reality, I'll only be gone for 4 months or so at a time.

It will be tough, but we both knew this was a possibility, what with me being in the air force and all. However, the opportunities that come from this are AWESOME!!!

Thanks again. It was nice to get some fresh perspective on this. Especially from some women. I guess I thought I was a lost cause! :P (not really)

Gotta run. Investment guy is coming over soon, and I need to finihs tidying the house for Bobbi. Her arm is ina brace from a Massage Therapy related RSI.

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Guest Mtndog

Hi Everyone- Drive By post.....

Stephanie- Yeah.. that is wonderful news about your son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carrie- You are a GORGEOUS bride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Morgan- How did classes go? I teach Freshman English at University of New Hampshire and our first day was today. So weird!!!!!!!!!! Let me know if your freshman writing professor is good. If not, I'll give her a talking too! :rolleyes:

Carla- I hope you feel better soon!

Ryan-I haven't popsted much lately but I have been somewhat following your posts about going to Greenland for a year- it's really hard to be seperated but you CAN do it. My husband and I were long-distance for a year after our first date! Hang in there... maybe you can make some concrete plans to see them (will you have any leave while you're over there? Could you do something crazy great like fly them to Iceland for Christmas and meet them there? A friend of mine was there for New Year's last year and loved it!). I think the best thing you can do is write her love letters. It may take them awhile to get to her but she will know you are thinking of her.

Ok- gotta run. Hugs to all, Beverly

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Yesterday I went to the CA State Fair in Sacramento. Its the best fair ever...I try to go every year. So they have this livestock nursery where there are always a few pregnant cows. If you happen to be there at the right time...you can see the birth. How cool is that!!??

So every year I miss out...one year I stuck around till midnight staring at this cow who wasnt doing much of anything. I just didnt want to leave until I saw a baby calf....it didnt happen that year.

Yesterday there was a cow in labor...she was 7 days past her due date and not happy at all. Actually she was kind of screaming...it sounded nothing like a cow....it was straight outta Jurrasic Park. :blink:

The vet people who were there said it wasnt normal...she was a "special" cow. I couldnt help thinking about the alien baby. :o

We didnt want to stand there for hours waiting for the birth so we kept leaving and coming back. The last time we came back there was a baby calf laying with its mommy. I missed the birth again!! <_<

At that same time another cow who wasnt quite due yet went into labor. No screaming or anything...just layed there and had her baby right before my eyes!!! :o

It was sooooo cool!!

Yeah...it was a little gross too.... but nevermind that part....it was nature. As long as I wasnt the one wearing the super long glove it was all good! ;)

Holy Cow.....I'm still so excited I got to see it live this year!! :D

After only like 10 minutes the calf was trying to get up and walk!! They said she would be walking within 2 hours! Thats so freakin amazing to me! In case you cant tell I was really excited about this. :P

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Incredible is all I can say.

It seemed like yesterday this thread started, and look how long it is now. Novel proportions!

I must admit haven't read it, but I will, better soon, or else I will never get into it.

Cathy

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Cathy,

You don't have to read it all.....just jump in.

Rachel,

Sounds like you had an interesting experience. I never did go through that with my horse. She crossed her legs until I left her. I was scheduled to housesit for my old 4h leader one time. I had been helping her show dogs (bull mastiffs). She had a horse that was due "any time" and was going over things with me "just in case" she went into labor while I was there. This mare had had many babies before but you never know what will happen. She had the baby before I would have had to go so I got to stay home and made the 60 odd mile round trip twice a day.

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Morgan- How did classes go? I teach Freshman English at University of New Hampshire and our first day was today. So weird!!!!!!!!!! Let me know if your freshman writing professor is good. If not, I'll give her a talking too! :rolleyes:

Carla- I hope you feel better soon!

Thank you.

Morgan's a smartie. She took freshman English as a junior in HS!!! The first day of class the teacher questioned her about being there since she was a junior and was very skeptical about her being able to handle it ... as it ended up, she used Morgan's papers and tests as the standard to help her grade the other papers! I would see her teacher at Starbucks pretty regularly before we moved, and she still talked about Morgan.

Okay, just using my bragging rights as a Mom there for a minute. :wub:

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Brag away! It is something to be very proud of!!!!

Hey, can I brag too?

My little one's teacher said she is a model student....behaviorally, socially & academically. We are pretty proud of our 1st grader.

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Guest Mtndog

good for Morgan- that's awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rachel- that must have been amazing!

One question- where, oh where, has our dingoGirl gone?

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