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Lister

I Need Someone

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if any of you know me, or feel like you kind of know me and dont mind a winer i need someone to talk to, just in general. I have lost everyone in my life that i can conside in and im all alone and its starting to eat me up inside. I have been really hurt lately by alot of people i considerd close to me and im feeling all alone. I try to talk to my "guy" friends but you know how that goes.. if anyone has the time or acually "cares" my msn is s0l3d@hotmail.com

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i don't have messenger, but you can email me @ hope.dealer@gmail.com if you want to talk :D


Sweetfudge

Born and raised in Portland, OR; Currently living in Provo, UT

Gluten-free since June 2006

Also living with Hypoglycemia since 1991

Dairy-free for good since summer 2008

Started IBS diet and probiotics at GI's recommendation - Fall 2008

Also avoiding: potatoes, beans, crucifers, popcorn, most red meat, coconut milk :(

Started eating a Paleo diet Spring 2011. Love it!

The grass is always greener where you water it.

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Hey Lister:

PM me and we can exchange information. I do know you,well sort of. But have been by your side as others have.

Lisa


Lisa

Gluten Free - August 15, 2004

"Not all who wander are lost" - JRR Tolkien

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Lister, I am always here for you if you need to vent a bit. I have a son about your age and listen to him vent all the time. He is celiac also and has a very restricted social life due to the celiac and shyness. I may not have solutions to your problems but may be able to add thoughts and a nonjudgemental ear. Feel free to PM me if you want, I have no life outside my computer so I am on line frequently but don't use any IM forms.

By the way I understand you found a new job? What are you doing now? Do you like it and is the pay okay? How is your pretty little kitty doing? What did you end up naming her?


Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying

"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)

Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002

Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis

All bold resoved or went into remission in time with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002

 Gene Test Aug 2007

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

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Hi lister,

I know you from reading your posts, and I am always more than willing to listen and help people. Feel free to PM me, I hope this helps. How's your little kitty? They are very good animals.


~~~~Gluten Free since 9/2004~~~~~~

Friends may come and go but Sillies are Forever!!!!!!!

36_22_10[1].gif

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i just switched fast foods, now i work at a arbys but its alot better then the last place i worked. the enviorment is alot less hostile, and the managment is alot nicer. plus its alot less bread. i think alot of my stomich problems where stress related because it has not been giving me near as much problems now that i switched. The pay is acually less since now im back down to minimum wage :( and unfortunatly they are overstaffed at the moment so im only working like 12-15 hrs a week so i dont even know if im gonna be able to make bills. Having problems coping with life without my old friend mr.greenbud. I had to quit for my job. They sent me up to do some stuff to get promoted and part of it was a piss test, i had to call my manager and tell him it would be dirty. So he talked to the district manager and called me back. They are willing to give me a second chance, i have 30 days to get clean and stay clean if i want to be a manager, he says if i want to keep smoking then i can but i will stay as a crew member, and i want to be a manager a. for more hours b. because it usualy meens a lil better pay so i had to stop, been 3 days so far of sobriety and its starting to have a effect on me. I know i sound rediculuse, expecialy since they say pot is non adictive, but in my personel opinion it is, i am dependent on it i used to smoke every day atleast 5 times a day i was never not stoned. even if i did not have money for food i always found money for bud. and now all of a suden i dont smoke anymore. its crazy its wierd. i cant say i feel strait though, its been 3 days and my head is still feeling foggy, dont know how many days it may take to get back all the brain cells that i have damaged over the years. All i know is im uber depressed because of it, i cant stop thinking about bud... i try to watch tv and i find my mind drifting back to bud i try to play games but i get to bored and start thinking about bud. but im doing good, my roommate has some and he was smoking it near me, he even offerd it to me and i did something i have never done before, i acually said no, and did not take a hit, im acually doing it, im acually quiting. but im finding myself really depressed, i dont have many friends that are real, most of them just use me, or constantly flake on me, i only have one real good friend but she moved out of town on me, so i find myself day in and day out by myself just sitting in my room all alone i used to not mind because i was always stoned, but now that im not i realise just how much my life acually sucks.. Im sure its for the better but man im depressed for now. my cat is doing good, his name is Ki monster. i updated my avatar with a new pic of him asleep on my leg, also for any of u who were asking a while ago for a real pic of me its on my personel page.

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Great to see you face Lister!!! Handsome young man as well.

Well, I sure could tell a difference in your posting. Your words were spelled correctly, you wrote complete sentences and you made sense. :) You might not see a big difference in not being high, but it is very evident. It's a wonderful change.

Hang in there. You have a new job and you'll be around a whole bunch of new people. It's a beginning.

Take care


Lisa

Gluten Free - August 15, 2004

"Not all who wander are lost" - JRR Tolkien

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Lister, feel free to PM me, I don't have IM ... well, my daughter tells me I do, but I don't use it. :)

I know you are doing the right thing. You will be so much better off in a management position and it will all be worth it. Is there something like AA for past users? Maybe even AA would help. I know my neighbor gets a lot of support from his AA meetings and he's not had a drink in three years.

I do think it's addictive, too. I know someone else close to me who's getting off it as well. You will be glad you did. The withdrawal will be difficult.

Can you take anything for your depression? I know St. John's Wort helps me a lot. If I stop taking it, my husband can tell right away.

Feel free to PM me, I'm online a lot and most times will be able to PM right back.


gluten-free 12/05

diagnosed with Lyme Disease 12/06

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thanks for the support.

I have a question for anyone that has done college, or things like it. I want a real job one that can give me atleast 20k a year, but i dont want to have to wait years and years to get a degree, my friend was saying that i could study up for a certifacation exam.. do certifications look good when applying for a job? i was thinking i would becoming a IT (information technoligy) like a tech support, get my certificate and then while i was working that job work towards a degree, i just dont want to be in fastfood for another 4 years working on a degree. does anyone know anything about certifcations and how they work and how they look? im really new to all of this higher education stuff

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Certification programs are available in the local community colleges where I live. I am not sure about other states.


Phyllis

Gluten Free - 30 years

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yeah but do certifcations acually count for anything? like if i was to have a certificate and not a degree, would i still stand a chance at getting a job in that field??

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i just switched fast foods, now i work at a arbys but its alot better then the last place i worked. the enviorment is alot less hostile, and the managment is alot nicer. plus its alot less bread. i think alot of my stomich problems where stress related because it has not been giving me near as much problems now that i switched. The pay is acually less since now im back down to minimum wage :( and unfortunatly they are overstaffed at the moment so im only working like 12-15 hrs a week so i dont even know if im gonna be able to make bills. Having problems coping with life without my old friend mr.greenbud. I had to quit for my job. They sent me up to do some stuff to get promoted and part of it was a piss test, i had to call my manager and tell him it would be dirty. So he talked to the district manager and called me back. They are willing to give me a second chance, i have 30 days to get clean and stay clean if i want to be a manager, he says if i want to keep smoking then i can but i will stay as a crew member, and i want to be a manager a. for more hours b. because it usualy meens a lil better pay so i had to stop, been 3 days so far of sobriety and its starting to have a effect on me. I know i sound rediculuse, expecialy since they say pot is non adictive, but in my personel opinion it is, i am dependent on it i used to smoke every day atleast 5 times a day i was never not stoned. even if i did not have money for food i always found money for bud. and now all of a suden i dont smoke anymore. its crazy its wierd. i cant say i feel strait though, its been 3 days and my head is still feeling foggy, dont know how many days it may take to get back all the brain cells that i have damaged over the years. All i know is im uber depressed because of it, i cant stop thinking about bud... i try to watch tv and i find my mind drifting back to bud i try to play games but i get to bored and start thinking about bud. but im doing good, my roommate has some and he was smoking it near me, he even offerd it to me and i did something i have never done before, i acually said no, and did not take a hit, im acually doing it, im acually quiting. but im finding myself really depressed, i dont have many friends that are real, most of them just use me, or constantly flake on me, i only have one real good friend but she moved out of town on me, so i find myself day in and day out by myself just sitting in my room all alone i used to not mind because i was always stoned, but now that im not i realise just how much my life acually sucks.. Im sure its for the better but man im depressed for now. my cat is doing good, his name is Ki monster. i updated my avatar with a new pic of him asleep on my leg, also for any of u who were asking a while ago for a real pic of me its on my personel page.

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yeah but do certifcations acually count for anything? like if i was to have a certificate and not a degree, would i still stand a chance at getting a job in that field??

Most employers look upon any education in the field they are hiring in as a positive. Talk to a college counseler about the certification programs available and what job opportunities are opened up with a certificate. Talk to someone who has earned a certificate if you can. You could also, check with employers in your area of interest to get their opinion on whether a certificate is worth your time.


Phyllis

Gluten Free - 30 years

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yeah but do certifcations acually count for anything? like if i was to have a certificate and not a degree, would i still stand a chance at getting a job in that field??

Yes they do and they will certainly help with getting a job. Some programs also have opportunities to do internships that can lead to a job after graduation. Just a couple of examples would be: auto technician, tractor trailer driving, welding, hair and beauty, Xray tech, lab tech, diesel mechanic and of course much more. Have you also thought about looking into security at say an airport or that type place? Once you are completely off the weed that sort of thing will be open to you also as long as your background is criminally clean.

There are a lot of different fields that are open to you and a college counselor can also assist you with finding out about things like financial aid, it isn't income or credit report based and you often can borrow enough to live and only work part time so you can finish school faster.

There is a lot out there, all you have to do is look for it.

Be patient with yourself with the issue of quiting weed. It is very psychologically addictive for certain people, you may want to ask a doctor for something that can help you over the 'hump'. Expect to be depressed while your brain adjusts to being without the drug that is normal. It will pass.


Courage does not always roar, sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying

"I will try again tommorrow" (Mary Anne Radmacher)

Diagnosed by Allergist with elimination diet and diagnosis confirmed by GI in 2002

Misdiagnoses for 15 years were IBS-D, ataxia, migraines, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, parathesias, arthritis, livedo reticularis, hairloss, premature menopause, osteoporosis, kidney damage, diverticulosis, prediabetes and ulcers, dermatitis herpeformis

All bold resoved or went into remission in time with proper diagnosis of Celiac November 2002

 Gene Test Aug 2007

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 1 0303

HLA-DQB1 Molecular analysis, Allele 2 0303

Serologic equivalent: HLA-DQ 3,3 (Subtype 9,9)

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I'm new to the board so I don't know you but I started crying when I read your message about being alone as I feel secluded and alone too. Then I read your second post and really can relate as I am giving up Mr. Greenbud right now too! I have used it for years and years to sleep as celiac seems to give you insomnia. I felt I was addicted too, but I believe the addiction is the habit, not the weed. I am having some withdrawals, sweats, which I think is getting it out of my system, but most of it is finding something else to do. It was the same way when I quit smoking cigarettes, but I did it so I know I can do this. On the sights about quitting cigs they say you have to replace the habit with something else. I'm sure it is the same with this, we have to find things to keep us busy so we don't think about it and don't get bored. I am 60, female, have probably smoked pot off and on for over 40 years, and don't have a job right now as I can't stay well for more than a few days at a time. You need a second job, an outdoor hobby or to volunteer your time somewhere. You sound like a truly good person and you need to be around more people. I know people your age that have 2 or 3 fast food jobs so they can get enuf hours to live. I think it is great that you are working toward your future and trying to do this so you can become a manager and it is wonderful that your manager is giving you a chance. You need to get out of the house and stop isolating yourself. Those old friends are over and done with, move on. You will meet new and better friends. The older ones on this board will tell you that when you get fired, dumped on, thrown out of your home, whatever, you look back and realize it was for the best, as long as you pull yourself out of the muck of self-pity. And talking helps, so bless this board! I've been reading alot lately about positive vs. negative energy and The Law of Attraction because of that bestseller book The Secret. I have gotten very negative and sad and of course depressed with being sick and lonely all the time, and of course, when we are stoned, none of that mattered, but when we are not, it does. The Law of Attraction says you attract the vibes you give off. The Secret is a little too extreme for me, it says whatever you tell yourself will happen to you will. If you believe you will get rich, you will, etc. On Oprah's website there is a lot more about it as she believes in it and had all the experts on her show that teach it. But I'd like to quote a little from a different book called Postive Energy=Positive Life by Judith Orloff, MD. "A basic dynamic of energy is that we attract who we are-the more positive energy we give off the more we magnetize to us. Ditto for negativity. Love attracts love. Grumpiness attracts grumpiness. Rage attracts rage. The explanation? This human form of ours is a subtle energy transmitter. We constantly send out signals that others pick up on. This is why opportunities do or do not show up in our lives." She then goes on to explain how to improve our positve energy level. One simple thing that has helped me is to try to just smile more, whether you feel like it or not. She says our brain does not know the difference between a fake smile and a real one and smiling changes our brain waves and makes us feel happier. Also, smiling and feeling love in your heart when you speak to people, especially if they are rude or indifferent. It shocks them and can change their attitude! The kinder we are to ourselves and others the more love we communicate. She says we have to do emotional housecleaning, that healing negativity prevents toxic build-up in our energy field. We need to identify our best parts (we all have them) and speak from them. Before we meet new people or attend an event have an inner pep talk. Say, "I am going to focus on my strengths and feel and trust the positive energy inside of me", and that journaling, talking with friends, meditating and introspection all further the healing process. As negativity leaves us our energy becomes more alluring and starts drawing positive people to us. I hope some of this helps you, it is helping me. I have never meditated, got stoned instead, but that is one thing I can replace it with. I hope you try some of this and let us know how you are doing.

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well i was starting to do pretty good, i got in tuch with alot of my old friends and started to hang out with alot of people, also started to skate at the local skatepark to make some new friends with same interests, but of course more poop has to come my way, i dont know if possibly in a past life i was a killer or something but i cant think as to why i have all of this bad doggone karma... my roommate came back from portland and told me that he is moving out along with my other roommate, they both got offerd jobs installing security systems for 25k a year so they are leaving me with a apartment that costs 550 a month.... i cant save any money to be able to move to a smaller apartment since i only make a total of 400 a month and that has to go to all of my bills/ my half of rent i cant save up anything to be able to afford the first/last security on a new apartment. So it looks like i may have to hit the streets and live out of a trashcan... why cant i just get a doggone break im so sick of BS life. just wish i would get hit by a car or something since i dont have the balls to put myself out of my misery

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I'm curious . . . how old are you? You DEFINITELY gather a different perspective the older you get. TRUST ME!! I've been in some pretty low times in my life -- have even been hospitalized because I just didn't want to stick around here. What I've found, though, is that a lot of the people who are touting positive attracts positive, etc., are right. And until you can't truly become positive, it's on the "fake it 'til you make it" level. Sounds cheesy, and probably where you are right now, trite, but I've come to find that it works for me.

Right now, I'm scared as Hell that I'm going to have to have brain surgery. I already have quite a bit of cerebellar damage because of Neurological Celiac. So, I don't have a lot of brain to lose!!! And there you have it -- without thinking, I immediately result to humor, because that's how I cope. And so, I tend to bring into my life the funniest, happiest people that I know. Friends who are wild, crazy funny. People who are so uplifting. We absolutely have relationships that we keep each other going -- sometimes through some of the most awful things.

Do I sound like a Pollyanna? You bet. I sound like someone who is so "PERKY"!! Trust me, I don't do perky -- ask any one on this board. They would be more than happy to tell you that I'm not the perky type. Smart-aleck, not afraid to get in trouble (well, sort of afraid to get in trouble -- but I still do), but anything but perky. Just relying on my friends to have some fun in the face of some really bad stuff.

I'm not guaranteeing that it works for everyone. Just saying it works for me.

Take care of you, and if you need a sarcastically funny spin on the things that are happening, PM me, okay? I'll do my best.

Lynne


Lynne

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try tomorrow".

"There's not a word yet, for old friends we've just met. Part Heaven, part space, or have I found my place? You can just visit, but I plan to stay, I'm going to go back there some day." Gonzo, in the Muppet Movie

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im 21 right now 22 next month, yeah im a downer personality wise, i try to stay in a uplifted mood atleast but my face does not express it, i almost never smile mainly because i dont like the way my smile looks, if you look at my pic on my page, that is me "smiling" or the face i give people to show that im smiling because i really hate my real smile it makes me look like the joker from batman. sickofit about what you said "what you say is what happens" what if you said things in your past that you regret that now seem to becoming more and more true is it possible to revirse what you said? aka when i was young my foster parents told me the same thing, if you say something will happen to you or you belive something will happen it will happen, and from what i could tell it was true ( i used to have a tape player i was afraid would eat my tapes and then it stared too) well when i was 15 all the way until i was 18 whenever someone lectured me i always told them i dont care i will be dead when im 23 anyways, now the closer i get to hitting that age the more my health seems to be declining and my life is falling apart, could it be that i cursed myself to die? can i revirse this terrible curse that i put apon myself? tiredofdoctors, i really hope things get better for you, its terrible that you have to deal with the brain thing along with all your other problems, why does it seem that whoever is in the sky likes to pick on serten people and just not leave them alone.. i wish u the best of luck and things will turn out great for you.

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I think you've got the right idea. Get off the weed, get a better job. Manage the Arbys, do a kick ass job, then get a job managing a Starbucks. Good pay, and health insurance so you can get some help with your medical issues. Plus they have a program where after a few years, they'll help pay for school.

And in a company growing that fast, there is sure to be room for advancement.

It's never too late. You've got plenty of time. I'm back in school in at 31, graduate in June.

Don't get down.


Celiac - Gluten Free since Late December 2006

Positive Dietary response, biopsy, Enterolab

Lactose intolerant - dietary response test only

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Lister:

You sell yourself short and it is too easy to cop out. So you have had a crappy upbringing, so your on your own, so you don't have any support that may be just the way it is.

Does that mean that you have to carry that burden on your back for the rest of your life...NO!.

Quit living under a blanket of crap and grab your life again. It's all attitude babe, it's all attitude. Only you can pull yourself up.

You can look into public housing and it is salary based. Contact you local public service page in the phone book.

Find a local Community College in your area and many companies support classes and it guarantees employment on completing the coarse.

You have so many options here. Please don't cop out, get your butt motivated.

You got something to prove, or are you gonna be a slacker. I bet on the prove side ;)


Lisa

Gluten Free - August 15, 2004

"Not all who wander are lost" - JRR Tolkien

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Hi,

You can do this! Yeah, things can look pretty black, but there will be a way through it...

On the job front, have you thought about something other than a college degree.... I know that in technical areas like mechanic, electrician, plumber, builder there are now a huge wait to get people. These courses are also not so long... my cousin is a plumber he is in so much demand it is not funny - just an idea.

Keep talking here! I admire you for facing everything.

Sally


Sally

Aussie living in Philippines, Manager, Triathlete, Mum to 2 dogs, 2 cats & fish

___________________________________________________________________________________

Hypothyroid, diag. 2000, desicated thryoid 3 grains + T4 50 mcg.

Pituitary adenoma, 2002 - no treatment (no followup yet)

Polycystic, 2000 - no treatment

IBD by biopsy - end 2006 (cause not investigated)

Suspected Gluten intolerant/celiac - not diagnosed

Gluten Free - start Dec 06 (big improvement in tummy troubles, though still not 100%..)

Allergies suspected to Rice, Mango, Chicken, some fish (though testing)... still trying to work it all out.

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Lister, I think everyone here has great ideas.

Did you get your GED? I think I remember you said you were working on that. That's a great first step.

The Starbucks idea is a good one, too. It's a more positive atmosphere than most fast food restaurants. When I'm in there, many times I see people who work there who are in there on their day off.

Grocery stores are good, too.

Work for a management position at Arby's. That's good experience.

You are on the right track and you've got a lot of people here rooting for you. You've had more to overcome than most of us, but you can do it.

And it's not an entirely bad thing that you are working on a new circle of friends ... like everyone has said, attitude is everything and your positive attitude will attract positive people.

You are not cursed to die at 23 ... maybe the old, negative person will die at 23 to allow the new postive person a good life.

Oh, and Lynne is not perky, I can vouch for that, but she has the best attitude and the best humor of anyone on the board. And, Lynne, you have just as much brain as everyone else ... even with the parts that don't work quite right ... you've got brains to spare. ;):P


gluten-free 12/05

diagnosed with Lyme Disease 12/06

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i was all set up to start getten ready for my ged, then crap kept coming at me at highspeed ( aka loosing my job/girl/ now possibly apartment) i need to get my basic life in complete order before i can take on school/ big public setting ( if im in a space with to many people i get panic attacks-reson why i did not finish highschool, couldnt take the hallways anymore)

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Look into the suggestion on public housing. Some apt. complexes will accept section 8 ... we own a couple rentals and were working with a woman on section 8 housing ... so I know there are a lot of options for you with that.

Once things settle down, the GED is a good first step ... better than a certificate. A certificate is good, too, but I'd put the priority on the GED.


gluten-free 12/05

diagnosed with Lyme Disease 12/06

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