The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[nikki-uk]

Will check in later--the closet organizing lady will be here any minute.

GAHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!....PATTI!!!!!!

(I just go to Ikea for inspiration)

I WANT ONE !!!! ..........(your hubby has more clothes than you??? )

With those of us here who are TARTS

I don't know what you mean

PS Had SERIOUS Food Gasm at Risoterria last week. Was almost asked to leave- kind of like that scene in When Harry Met sally.

It went something like...

''Would you mind leaving Miss - there are children in here...and frankly everyone is disturbed by your behaviour''

[~alex~]

I think I should bring the closet lady a sandwich or something--what the heck is she still doing in there?

A few years ago I got California Closets to come do my dad's bedroom closet. I went over to his house the day the consultant was coming and the lady was in there measuring and planning for almost 2 hours! It was supper time and we didn't know what to do about her. So my dad ending up making supper for her and the three of us ate spaghetti (pre-Celiac days!) and drank wine on my dad's closet floor. It was pretty funny. She took her job very seriously!

My dad's closet looked about twice as big after they performed their closet magic. I'm very jealous it and I wish my closet looked like that. I'm sure you'll be in awe of the finished product. I think closet organizer would be a fun job to have.

[nikki-uk]

I think I should bring the closet lady a sandwich or something--what the heck is she still doing in there?

She's probably found some fabulous 'retro' jacket of your hubby's (aka -'packrat') and is wondering if she could sneak it out to sell on Ebay.......

[elye]

Does she charge by the hour, or by the job? I'm thinkin' we could use her in our parade organization...Y'know, placing all the paraphrenalia within the floats, organizing and loading the guns with appropriate treats in the proper order...the most economical use of space can haunt parade organizers. You should ask her if she's ever tackled a job like this, Patti. She may jump at it...

[DingoGirl]

So, let me get this straight..on good days carla is too busy for us and on bad days she's too brain dead for us????? Carla- I sense an insult in here somewhere but I'm herxing so I could NEVER figure it out at this point

yes, a most curious and clever form of insultery.......

Foodgasm

I think I should bring the closet lady a sandwich or something--what the heck is she still doing in there?

with the door closed, still? OMG - was taking a shower and had a flash of a closet lady sitting in MY closet with teh door closed.......only I would walk in later to find her weeping and shaking, curled up in a corner, mumbling nonsense......... "I just can't do it........I can't take it any more.......THIS ONE IS TOO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She's probably found some fabulous 'retro' jacket of your hubby's (aka -'packrat') and is wondering if she could sneak it out to sell on Ebay.......

brilliant

Yes, Patti you must FRISK her - not the wookie - before she leaves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does she charge by the hour, or by the job? I'm thinkin' we could use her in our parade organization...Y'know, placing all the paraphrenalia within the floats, organizing and loading the guns with appropriate treats in the proper order...the most economical use of space can haunt parade organizers. You should ask her if she's ever tackled a job like this, Patti. She may jump at it...

oh YES!!!!!!!!!!!! we need her!!!!!!!!!!!! Parades can just go south SO easily! We'll entice her w/ the Green Faerie and some microwaveable cupcakes.

I have decided I want to knock out - REMOVE - the glass doors and tracks and everthign on my bathtub, so that I can TAKE A BATH for Pete's sake. (um, do you all know about my phobia of bathtubs????? Trying to overcome it - - my back would love a good soak - - but I CANNOT take a bath in a tub w/ tracks)..............

will this be hard to do???????????????? Perhaps I"ll enlist that disemboweled zombie to help.....looks like he needs a project...........

Hi Alex!

[Ridgewalker]

Oh gawwwd... I think my chronic sinus infections back... ugh, head may explode at any moment...

A few minutes ago, I clicked View New Posts (as I do an embarassingly large number of times per day) and suddenly the whole format of the board changed, and it was all green. I clicked it again, and back to normal.

I think Scott needs to give us some warning if he's gonna work on how the board looks, because that just totally messed with my poor feeble brain.

[Ridgewalker]

It came back!!!!!!!!!

Now it's gone again.

[blueeyedmanda]

So what celeb's will be in our big Holiday parade? I mean we need to impress at Macy's and all

[Mtndog]

with the door closed, still? OMG - was taking a shower and had a flash of a closet lady sitting in MY closet with teh door closed.......only I would walk in later to find her weeping and shaking, curled up in a corner, mumbling nonsense......... "I just can't do it........I can't take it any more.......THIS ONE IS TOO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

THIS MADE ME SNORT OUT LOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

So what celeb's will be in our big Holiday parade? I mean we need to impress at Macy's and all

Aren't we the CELEBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bev--did you say "tartaholic" or "fartaholic"? Either one could apply, if you know what I mean....

I think I should bring the closet lady a sandwich or something--what the heck is she still doing in there?

:lol: :lol:

First of all, you are so sweet...I can just see you bringing the closet lady a sandwich.

Your timing is EXCELLENT Patti as I have a birthday card poem I've been meaning to post for awhile from my BIL. Unfortunately, I suspect our Hugh is a TARTAHOLIC with little tolerance for the fartaholics but you never know.....maybe he's into that stuff

Anyhoo...here's the poem:

All About Farts

A fart can be short,

or a fart can be long,

Some farts have been known

to sound just like a song...

A fart can create

a most curious medley,

A fart can be harmless

or silent, but deadly.

A fart might not smell

while others are vile

A fart may pass quickly

or linger awhile.

A fart can occur

in a number of places,

and leave everyone

with strange looks on their faces...

From wide-open prairie,

to small elevators

But not all farts are bad,

that is simply not true-

We musn't forget...

Dear sweet old farts like YOU!

[DingoGirl]

A few minutes ago, I clicked View New Posts (as I do an embarassingly large number of times per day) and suddenly the whole format of the board changed, and it was all green. I clicked it again, and back to normal.

I think Scott needs to give us some warning if he's gonna work on how the board looks, because that just totally messed with my poor feeble brain.

I saw it too!!!!!!!!!!!! Thought I had entered a parallel celiac.com universe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scott DOES need to warn our enfeebled glutenbrains of such a thing!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about yoru exploding head. Drink more absinthe!!!!!!!!!!!

RICHARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is TIME for you to post your HEINOUS day-long horribly difficult quinoa stuffing recipe. You know, the one where you have to walk the dingos and drink wine in between each step??????????? the one that made MY head explode!!!????????

Celebrities..........I'm working on that now. Hugh Grant has agreed to come.

BACK OFF TARTLETTES,

HE'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mwoo-hoooo-hoooo--hooo-haa-haaaa-haa-ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DingoGirl]

Anyhoo...here's the poem:

All About Farts

oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaawd

:lol:

thank you, silly, THAT will be the next birthday card for my wacky brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ridgewalker]

Celebrities..........I'm working on that now. Hugh Grant has agreed to come.

BACK OFF TARTLETTES,

HE'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mwoo-hoooo-hoooo--hooo-haa-haaaa-haa-ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol:

Yup absinthe, sounds like a plan.

[TriticusToxicum]

I saw it too!!!!!!!!!!!! Thought I had entered a parallel celiac.com universe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scott DOES need to warn our enfeebled glutenbrains of such a thing!!!!!!!!!

That freaked me out too! I was catching up...somwhere around p. 438 evrything went Celiac Green for a brief monent. I thought perhaps I had won something.

RICHARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for the absence...I was off Open Original Shared Link. You would all do well to make a contribution to Mr. Huckabee's election fund....or else

It is TIME for you to post your HEINOUS day-long horribly difficult quinoa stuffing recipe. You know, the one where you have to walk the dingos and drink wine in between each step??????????? the one that made MY head explode!!!????????

Not gonna do it. It's green bean casserole for you this year!

Just cut to the chase, drink the wine and walk the dingos.

Oh biother, now that I'm caught up I must go and do some work. HARUMPF!

[Darn210]

First real good chilly day here!!

I'm freezing my arse off . . . I just can't seem to warm up!

JoDog (what I call my dog) is annoying with constant whining - oh wait, that's me.

JoDog is annoying with pacing back and forth between the window and door on the constant look out for squirrels.

I need to go to the grocery and to Target but can't get my rear in gear!!

And this has been my day!!

[Darn210]

Oh biother, now that I'm caught up I must go and do some work. HARUMPF!

Oh Richard!!! I've been wondering where you've been. You pop in briefly to read but not to post. I thought people at work must have noticed you mumbling and giggling at your computer and you had to cut back in order to avoid a talk with Human Resources.

[DingoGirl]

That freaked me out too! I was catching up...somwhere around p. 438 evrything went Celiac Green for a brief monent. I thought perhaps I had won something.

You did, you won a 1995 FOR TAURUS!!!!!!!!!! didn't they tell you?

cut to the chase and walk the dingos indeed. HARRUMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And this has been my day!!

We are quite familiar with teh pacing and staring here. In fact, in Stinker's second book (On the Road with Stinker), the "about the author" page does state, explaining her life and hobbies in the three years it took for her long-awaited followup book....... "in addition, she likes to pace and stare."

:lol:

Oh Richard!!! I've been wondering where you've been. You pop in briefly to read but not to post. I thought people at work must have noticed you mumbling and giggling at your computer and you had to cut back in order to avoid a talk with Human Resources.

I HAVE GOT TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! packages to mail. the dogs brushed against some tights, sold on ebay, that were hanging over the back of a chair. IT's goign to take me a bloody hour to get all the hair off.

[blueeyedmanda]

Richard I missed you!

Thought you were still perched in the window looking out for newlyweds

[Darn210]

We are quite familiar with teh pacing and staring here. In fact, in Stinker's second book (On the Road with Stinker), the "about the author" page does state, explaining her life and hobbies in the three years it took for her long-awaited followup book....... "in addition, she likes to pace and stare."

:lol:

Wow!! Stinker is an author!! Might she personally autograph one of her books for me? THAT'S what you should be selling on ebay . . . autographed copies of her book! I am convinced that to get rich quick, write a book and then have Oprah mention it on her show! Not sure how you get her to do that, but everybody buys whatever she tells them to.

[Mtndog]

Celebrities..........I'm working on that now. Hugh Grant has agreed to come.

BACK OFF TARTLETTES,

HE'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mwoo-hoooo-hoooo--hooo-haa-haaaa-haa-ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU ARE KILLING ME TODAY (AND I REALLY NEED TO BE KILLED!) :lol: :lol:

Not gonna do it. It's green bean casserole for you this year!

Just cut to the chase, drink the wine and walk the dingos.

You MEAN absinthe!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can one walk dingos while on absinthe? Susie's new Name "Walks dingos on absinthe" or "She who exploits dingos on Ebay" :o

Sarah- It's 60 degrees here and raining. YUCK A DOOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If it's going to rain I want it to at least be chilly so I can be cozy. HARUMPHESSNOUS.

[DingoGirl]

Yes, our Stinker IS an author. When she was about 6, I was presented, by her nanny and best friend, Lauren, with her first book, the smash Tika's Day Out. [i literally laughed so hard that I cried whilst reading it - and also cried because it was the best give I'd ever received......and we HAVE actually been urged to publish it...........it's the cutest thing EVER]

Yes, we MUST get Stinker on Oprah and toute suite!!!!!!! she's getting quite old and senile.....no telling WHAT she'll say on the air.......

[Green12]

MY EYES! MY EYES!

The board is changing, I don't like it......

Where is PAtti? Did you watch DSM last night? The priest kills me (or is he a minister), so hilarious.

Hi Richard, where ya been?

[nikki-uk]

Can one walk dingos while on absinthe?

More of a stagger stumble methinks

Yes, our Stinker IS an author. When she was about 6, I was presented, by her nanny and best friend, Lauren, with her first book, the smash Tika's Day Out. [i literally laughed so hard that I cried whilst reading it - and also cried because it was the best give I'd ever received......and we HAVE actually been urged to publish it...........it's the cutest thing EVER]

Fabulous - I want to READ IT!!!

Yes, we MUST get Stinker on Oprah and toute suite!!!!!!! she's getting quite old and senile.....no telling WHAT she'll say on the air.......

...plus you know what a diva she can be

200 white lillies in her dressing room with Evian water only

MY EYES! MY EYES!

Y'all been on the Absinthe? 'cos I didn't notice any change

[Green12]

Y'all been on the Absinthe? 'cos I didn't notice any change

You don't see it?? It's greean and different and not at all like we are used to.

Like Susie would say....hold me

[Darn210]

Fabulous - I want to READ IT!!!

Yes, Yes, Susie . . . post her book here online. You can do installments if you like. Any illustrations, you can scan in and use as an av. Splendid! All planned out. Now you get busy!

...plus you know what a diva she can be

200 white lillies in her dressing room with Evian water only

. . . Pictures of squirrels hung on the wall, Large sized greenies in a Waterford bowl (that her mommy can then take and sell on ebay), and a cashmere dog pillow.

Y'all been on the Absinthe? 'cos I didn't notice any change

Board looks the same to me, too.

[Darn210]

OH NO!!!!!

It just changed when I posted!!!! That is NOT right at all!!