Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
:o:lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

OMG Jess, THAT little double entendre didn't occur to me until YOU laughed! :lol:

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
I've heard that the long pizzles take quite a while to eat

This is where an individual container of Faux Shizzles might just come in handy ;)

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

So what is the deal with the weather....first it is almost 100 degrees now today it is barely 70....and it is soooo windy....my skirt almost did a Marilyn Monroe quite a few times...! It feels like 50 out too, John who is always Hot complained when we were at lunch that it is too cold and he had to come back into the hospital....

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
So what is the deal with the weather....first it is almost 100 degrees now today it is barely 70....and it is soooo windy....my skirt almost did a Marilyn Monroe quite a few times...! It feels like 50 out too, John who is always Hot complained when we were at lunch that it is too cold and he had to come back into the hospital....

I love it like this! I got so much done this morning :D

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
Opos--phorgot to mention....I talked to Jhudy this morning (we were on the horn for an hour and a half! B) )--she is having computer problems which is why she hasn't been around lately.

Patti, how nice you got to visit with Judy :) I was wondering where she has been.

Hope she gets her computer problems fixed.

Glad you guys got a little break with the heat :) We are heading into the high 90s for a spell starting tomorrow :wacko:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Patti, how nice you got to visit with Judy :) I was wondering where she has been.

Hope she gets her computer problems fixed.

Glad you guys got a little break with the heat :) We are heading into the high 90s for a spell starting tomorrow :wacko:

Thanks, Julie :D

Ugh--now you're getting a heat wave...I know it's summer, but it seems like it just gets hotter every year. (sigh)--stay cool the next few days :)

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

:lol: Sarah! :lol:

I just read a post of yours in another thread--and you said "phunny"! :lol:

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

Was it something I quacked???????????????? :ph34r:

Where are all you loon-atics?

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

bev- love the new avatar!

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
see Avatar

<----------------------

Please note appearance of Emily's Devil arse duck bruise :P

<---------------------- here's another devil duck for ya!!

:wickedsmilehornedface:

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
<---------------------- here's another devil duck for ya!!

:wickedsmilehornedface:

Do you own him??????????? I am MADLY in love with these devil ducks. Must buy one for each of you toot sweet!

Make your pick:Open Original Shared Link

Emily- Perhaps your bruise occurred as a result of the Open Original Shared Link??????

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted

Seems uncle Ray has been possessed as his joke of the day (Ray of the Day?) is quite devilish :ph34r:

Turpentive versus Holy Water

A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.

The little boy replied, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine.'

The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.'

The little boy replied, 'You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's arse and he'll pass a Harley Davidson!'

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
But are you taking the Jug O' Urine wif you????

That's our Em--off to the the gallery, jug in tow....what a woman! :D

Oh please, no, not the big orange jug o' pee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Em, say you didn't take it with you!

OMG........ :lol::lol::lol:

Sometimes I suspect that I subconsciously orchestrate these situations so that I'll have unbelievable, ridiculous stories to relay to you guys.....

So, I COULD have dumped the pee that I'd begun to collect and start again tomorrow....but NOOOOOOOOO. I figure, "I've already started, tomorrow I may be at work for an extra` while, today's been easy so far, I'm gonna continue"..... Even though I'm spending the afternoon with my son's school at the NATIONAL GALLERY..... :huh:

Might this be a place where you do NOT want to be carrying around a receptacle of your urine, albeit small? Yes, I should think so. :rolleyes:

So, I did NOT bring along the big orange jug (which, incidentally, I fill right to the top, always, and often start another one - - that's how much water I consume -- gad), but a small empty margarine container in case I had to go.

I was asked by security on the way in what it was for (had to empty my big purse for their perusal). The woman just stared at me when I told her it was to collect my urine. Surprisingly, she didn't radio for security, didn't reach for the phone....so we're good.

Of course, by 2:30, I have to go rather badly. I went in the container, closed it very tightly, wrapped it with about five tight elastic bands, and wedged it in my bag so it wouldn't move.

Guess what? They inspect big bags when you leave (I guess you could be stuffing little paintings and sculptures in them).

It was a man this time. I didn't even give him the chance to ask me what was in the container - - I came right out and said, "Some of my urine is in here". Now, I think the most prudent, and therefore proficient, of security workers would have asked me to open it.

But he didn't. :rolleyes::rolleyes::lol:

So, that was my afternoon. You can imagine what The Ripper's classmates think of me.......

Opos--phorgot to mention....I talked to Jhudy this morning (we were on the horn for an hour and a half! B) )--she is having computer problems which is why she hasn't been around lately.

Patti! Is Judy coming to the Psilly Philly Psummit? :)

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Pfizer Announcement

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in

liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage

suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to

literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this

a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails',

'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will

market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
I didn't even give him the chance to ask me what was in the container - - I came right out and said, "Some of my urine is in here".

This has to go down in history as one of the best Sillie moments of all time! :lol:

Judy may come--that day is also her wedding anniversary, so she's kinda playing it by ear for now. I'm really hoping she will come, though :)

Who else is coming?

MOUNT & DO.

Jess! :lol:

dlp252 Apprentice
dlp252
Posted
It was a man this time. I didn't even give him the chance to ask me what was in the container - - I came right out and said, "Some of my urine is in here". Now, I think the most prudent, and therefore proficient, of security workers would have asked me to open it.

But he didn't. :rolleyes::rolleyes::lol:

I often don't know what's going on in here, but I always manage to drop in on a page with something like this!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
I often don't know what's going on in here, but I always manage to drop in on a page with something like this!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

You simply must stop by more often, Donna! :D

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
You simply must stop by more often, Donna! :D

Or not. Maybe it's that much funnier if it all seems abstract and out of the blue.

Maybe we should all choose some number and only read the posts divisible by that number, say, read every seventh post. Then we could all have that surreal sort of experience normally only achievable with controlled substances or liberal phaerie drops.

dlp252 Apprentice
dlp252
Posted

Patti = :wub:

Maybe we should all choose some number and only read the posts divisible by that number, say, read every seventh post. Then we could all have that surreal sort of experience normally only achievable with controlled substances or liberal phaerie drops.

Hum, good way to describe how I feel when I DO drop in! :lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Maybe we should all choose some number and only read the posts divisible by that number, say, read every seventh post. Then we could all have that surreal sort of experience normally only achievable with controlled substances or liberal phaerie drops.

I wouldn't last a half a day :lol:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
Or not. Maybe it's that much funnier if it all seems abstract and out of the blue.

Maybe we should all choose some number and only read the posts divisible by that number, say, read every seventh post. Then we could all have that surreal sort of experience normally only achievable with controlled substances or liberal phaerie drops.

OMG...Yes.........to give us that hallucinogenic, out-of-control mind space, without the heroin! :rolleyes::lol:

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
:lol: Sarah! :lol:

I just read a post of yours in another thread--and you said "phunny"! :lol:

B):lol:

So, that was my afternoon. You can imagine what The Ripper's classmates think of me.......

:o You... are so... BRAVE! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
:o You... are so... BRAVE! :lol: :lol: :lol:

NO . . . NOT BRAVE . . . NUTS!!!! Who here actually think rubber bands are going to keep urine in a MARGERINE CONTAINER for OraclePete's Sake???!!!!??? Of course the security guard didn't open it . . . it was probably leaking and he could tell it was full of WEE!!!

Going purse shopping tomorrow??

Green12 Enthusiast
Green12
Posted
You simply must stop by more often, Donna! :D

I've been trying to twist Donna's arm to drop in the Silly thread more :D:D

Janet said "for OraclePete's sake" :lol::lol:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
NO . . . NOT BRAVE . . . NUTS!!!! Who here actually think rubber bands are going to keep urine in a MARGERINE CONTAINER for OraclePete's Sake???!!!!??? Of course the security guard didn't open it . . . it was probably leaking and he could tell it was full of WEE!!!

Going purse shopping tomorrow??

:lol::lol:

It was soooooo tightly elastic-wrapped, and wedged into my purse, and I was SOOOOO obsessively keeping said purse in exactly the same upright position on my shoulder, that there was no leakage. Yes, leakage would easily explain why the security guy did not open the container. But there was no visible (or feel-able) urine. So this really does beg the question: Why in HELL did he not open it, or at the very least, ask ME to??! This is a huge, tourist-filled government building, ripe fer a bombing, hostage-taking, er sumfin' huge.....

So, anyone who plans on taking down the National Gallery of Canada, or stealing some small, multi-million-dollar artifact that would fit nicely into a margarine container, simply do so and remark to the security staff that you've collected some of your urine in it....should be no problem......

:lol:

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. Mari
      - Mari replied to Jmartes71's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      21

      My only proof

      I think, after reading this, that you areso traumatized by not being able yo understand what your medical advisors have been what medical conditions are that you would like to find a group of people who also feel traumatized who would agree with you and also support you. You are on a crusade much as the way the US Cabinet official, the Health Director of...
    2. Jmartes71
      - Jmartes71 replied to Jmartes71's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      21

      My only proof

      Thus has got to STOP , medical bit believing us! I literally went through 31 years thinking it was just a food allergy as its downplayed by medical if THEY weren't the ones who diagnosed us! Im positive for HLA-DQ2 which is first celiac patient per Iran and Turkey. Here in the States especially in Cali its why do you feel that way? Why do you think your celiac...
    3. knitty kitty
      - knitty kitty replied to Scott Adams's topic in Post Diagnosis, Recovery & Treatment of Celiac Disease
      44

      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      @Scatterbrain, Thiamine Vitamin B1 and amino acid Taurine work together. Our bodies can make Taurine from meats consumed. Our bodies cannot make Thiamine and must consume thiamine from food. Meat is the best source of B vitamins like Thiamine. Vegetarians may not make sufficient taurine since they don't eat meat sources of taurine...
    4. knitty kitty
      - knitty kitty replied to Jmartes71's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      21

      My only proof

      @Jmartes71, I went to Doterra's site and had a look around. The Doterra TerraZyme supplement really jumped out at me. Since we, as Celiacs, often have digestive problems, I looked at the ingredients. The majority of the enzymes in this supplement are made using black mold, Aspergillus! Other enzymes are made by yeast Saccharomyces! Considering...
    5. Scott Adams
      - Scott Adams commented on Scott Adams's article in Additional Concerns
      2

      Gluten Transfer from Biodegradable Tableware: What a New Study Found and Why It Matters (+Video)

      Thanks for mentioning this, and here is an older article on the topic:
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      132,544
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    PatientOne
    Newest Member
    PatientOne
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):

  • Who's Online (See full list)

    • There are no registered users currently online

  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Mari
      My only proof

      By Mari · Posted

      I think, after reading this, that you areso traumatized by not being able yo understand what your medical advisors have been  what medical conditions are that you would like to find a group of people who also feel traumatized who would agree with you and also support you. You are on a crusade much as the way the US Cabinet  official, the Health Director of our nation is in trying to change what he considers outdated and incorrect health advisories. He does not have the education, background or experience to be in the position he occupies and is not making beneficial decisions. That man suffered a terrible trauma early in his life when his father was assonated. We see now how he developed and worked himself into a powerful position.  Unless you are willing to take some advice or  are willing to use a few of the known methods of starting on a path to better health then not many of us on this Celiac Forum will be able to join you in a continuing series of complaints about medical advisors.    I am almost 90 years old. I am strictly gluten free. I use 2 herbs to help me stay as clear minded as possible. You are not wrong in complaining about medical practitioners. You might be more effective with a clearer mind, less anger and a more comfortable life if you would just try some of the suggestions offered by our fellow celiac volunteers.  
    • Jmartes71
      My only proof

      By Jmartes71 · Posted

      Thus has got to STOP , medical bit believing us! I literally went through 31 years thinking it was just a food allergy as its downplayed by medical if THEY weren't the ones who diagnosed us! Im positive for HLA-DQ2 which is first celiac patient per Iran and Turkey. Here in the States especially in Cali its why do you feel that way? Why do you think your celiac? Your not eating gluten so its something else.Medical caused me depression. I thought I was safe with my former pcp for 25 years considering i thought everything I went through and going through will be available when I get fired again for health. Health not write-ups my health always come back when you're better.Im not and being tossed away at no fault to my own other than shitty genes.I was denied disability because person said he didn't know how to classify me! I said Im celiac, i have ibs, hernia, sciatica, high blood pressure, in constant pain have skin and eye issues and menopause intensified everything. With that my celiac nightmare began to reprove my disregarded disease to a bunch of clowns who think they are my careteam when they said I didn't have...I feel Im still breathing so I can fight this so no body else has to deal with this nightmare. Starting over with " new care team" and waisting more time on why I think I am when diagnosed in 1994 before food eliminated from my diet. P.s everything i went through I did write to medical board, so pretty sure I will continue to have a hard time.
    • knitty kitty
      Supplements for those Diagnosed with Celiac Disease

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      @Scatterbrain, Thiamine Vitamin B1 and amino acid Taurine work together.  Our bodies can make Taurine from meats consumed.  Our bodies cannot make Thiamine and must consume thiamine from food.  Meat is the best source of B vitamins like Thiamine.   Vegetarians may not make sufficient taurine since they don't eat meat sources of taurine.  Seaweed is the best vegetarian source of taurine. Vegetarians may not consume sufficient Thiamine since few veggies are good sources.  Whole grains, legumes, and nuts and seeds contain thiamine.  Many of these sources can be hard to digest and absorb for people with Celiac disease.   You may find taking the forms of thiamine called Benfotiamine or TTFD (tetrahydrofurfuryl disulfide) and a B Complex will give the benefits you're looking for better than taurine alone.  
    • knitty kitty
      My only proof

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      @Jmartes71, I went to Doterra's site and had a look around.  The Doterra TerraZyme supplement really jumped out at me.  Since we, as Celiacs, often have digestive problems, I looked at the ingredients.  The majority of the enzymes in this supplement are made using black mold, Aspergillus!  Other enzymes are made by yeast Saccharomyces!  Considering the fact that Celiac often have permeable intestines (leaky gut syndrome), I would be very hesitant to take a product like this.  Although there may not be live black mold or yeast in the product, the enzymes may still cause an immune system response which would definitely cause inflammation throughout the body.   Skin, eyes, and intestines are all made from the same basic type of cells.  Your skin on the outside and eyes can reflect how irritated the intestines are on the inside.  Our skin, eyes, and intestines all need the same vitamins and nutrients to be healthy:  Vitamin A, Niacin B3 and Tryptophan, Riboflavin B2, Biotin B7, Vitamin C, and Omega Threes.  Remember that the eight B vitamins work together.  Just taking high doses of just one, vitamin like B12, can cause a deficiency in the others.  Taking high doses of B12 can mask a Folate B9 deficiency.  If you take B12, please take a B Complex, too.  Thiamine B1 can be taken in high doses safely without toxicity.  Thiamine is needed by itself to produce energy so every cell in the body can function, but Thiamine also works with the other B vitamins to make life sustaining enzymes and digestive enzymes.  Deficiencies in either Niacin, Vitamin C, or Thiamine can cause digestive problems resulting in Pellagra, Scurvy, and Gastrointestinal Beriberi.   If you change your diet, you will change your intestinal microbiome.  Following the Autoimmune Protocol Diet, a Paleo diet, will starve out SIBO bacteria.  Thiamine keeps bacteria in check so they don't get out of control as in SIBO.  Thiamine also keeps MOLDS and Yeasts from overgrowth.   Menopause symptoms and menstrual irregularities are symptomatic of low Vitamin D.   Doctors are not as knowledgeable about malnutrition as we need them to be.  A nutritionist or dietician would be more helpful.   Take control of your diet and nutrition.  Quit looking for a pill that's going to make you feel better overnight.  The Celiac journey is a marathon, not a sprint.   "Let food be your medicine, and let medicine be your food."
    • RUKen
      Are Lindt chocolate balls gluten free?

      By RUKen · Posted

      The Lindt (Lindor) dairy-free oat milk truffles are definitely gluten-free, and (last time I checked) so are the white chocolate truffles and the mint chocolate truffles. 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.