Falling Off The Wagon (advise Please!)

[snowcoveredheart]

so had a BAD bad badness of bad days yesterday and i rather fell off the wagon.. well more swan dived really... i needed comfort, i needed pain, i needed stodgey fatty things that made me feel full and filled and not hollow...and as delightful as the gluten-free stuff is *rolls eyes* it just didnt cut it...

.. needless to say yesterday i was washed out and today i am in pain and the usual effects that go with my eating a big fat fried chicken burger covered in spcied batter smoothered in mayo all wrapped up in a white floury filled bun (effectivly everything that i should never eat in one package! bless mc d's)

so am trying again today, new day fresh start and i know i have a long way to go with working on the reasons behind the reaching for such food but that will take time..

how you get back on the horse when you know yah just gonna fall off again?... and how do you keep going, i can bear to cook yet another meal from scratch! its driving me insane!

[SunnyDyRain]

how you get back on the horse when you know yah just gonna fall off again?... and how do you keep going, i can bear to cook yet another meal from scratch! its driving me insane!

I'e only been gluten-free a few days, so I may not be in the same "desperation" as you, but the way I look at it is TODAY I'm gluten free, today I don't want to miss my fave TV show because I'm in the Bathroom, I don't want to let my dinner get cold, I don't want my friends to hear the gas rumbling in my belly across the table tonight as we gossip. In the long run I want my hair to grow back in so I don't have to worry that people might notice how thin my hair is. I believe with a lot of gluten free todays, I will have the hair I used to have, and I won't be balding and sickly anymore. But I have to get through today.... and If I break down occsionally I will slap myself on the wrist, and focus on the next day being gluten free.

I have been learning a great deal about the crap that you put in your bodies by eating mainstream food, I have found that reading labels and seeing what stuff you put in your body, is a great way to loose intrest in eating it.

I have also found, watching a little Food Network before dinner helps me get motivated to cook, because I suck at cooking, and I hate doing it.

I hope this helps you some, hang in there!

[TinkerbellSwt]

Hi there. I am sorry you feel bad, I truly hope you feel better soon. You really just have to hike up your pants and just dive straight back into the diet.. I am not sure how long you have been gluten free, but it does get easier, I know in the beginning it doesnt seem like it, but it does.

When you have those cravings you need to fix up yourself something nice and wonderful tasting that is gluten free, I keep some frozen gluten free goodies for just those times! treat myself to something sweet.. yummy

I know quite a few people on here refer to gluten as rat poison, you wouldnt eat rat poison right? same for gluten.

I know others will chime in with some great ways to get thru this situation.. I have a hard time articulating things most times.. I just wanted to let you know, you are not alone, it has happened to many people, even those who have been gluten free for years..

I really hope you feel better soon... I cant cheat, I cant stand that feeling that you are going thru now.. sometimes the reminder of how you feel today, can help you stay away from the demon gluten!!!

[Jo.R]

I understand about the hating to cook from scratch. I've said before that at times I resent the time I now spend in the kitchen. I also resent the time and/or money making/buying new gluten free things thing and throwing them out. I have always had bad eating habits and have the taste of a teenager. These are a few of the things that keep me going:

1. My young children already had one year of my being too sick to be fun, NO MORE!

2. I have had one year of not going out at night because that was when I was sickest.

3. No more having to stop at a nasty gas station for the bathroom on the way to a mall 20 mins

away from my home.

4. I now have enough energy to clean my small house in one day.

5. I don't want the many illnesses I could get from not being gluten free.

6. No more getting nervous at night worried about how bad it's going to be.

7. Traveling and camping can now be fun again.

8. "Shop 'till I drop" isn't a trip to grocery store.

9. My Hubby doesn't have to work 70 hrs/wk and come home to take care of me and the girls.

I could go on, but the point is I have my life back. My BM's and weakness no longer control me. I took my kids to the zoo, I'm taking my daughter to a play tonight (at night!). I hate the diet, I may complain on this tread, but it is a price I'm willing to pay, in order to live a life worth having. I want a Big Mac, I want Pizza Hut pizza, but I don't want to live the life they give me. I have food addiction problems, but I have felt so much better since I went gluten-free, eating it by choice isn't going to happen.

[tarnalberry]

how you get back on the horse when you know yah just gonna fall off again?... and how do you keep going, i can bear to cook yet another meal from scratch! its driving me insane!

you do everything you can to not fall off again. you have complete control over whether or not you stick to the diet, as you are the only one who operates your arms to bring food to your mouth. that control may need some daily practice and exercising to become stronger, but it's up to you to get it there.

it's also up to you to be aware of your weaknesses and ameliorate their effects. if you know that you're going to go after a particular type of food on a bad day, find examples of that food that are gluten free. if you're only a few days/weeks in, it may just be that you don't have those resources identified yet. but look for them.

as for keeping on going, you do it by finding out what works for you.

for one, cooking from scratch doesn't need to be complicated or time consuming. and, unless you don't have the manual dexterity to learn to cut with a knife and stir with a spoon (and they are learned skills), it doesn't have to be difficult either. (for instance... a lot of people make sauces with their dinner - that's an added complication in time and difficulty (and cleaning) that's not nearly always necessary. and one reason I don't go directly out of cookbooks very often... they love themselves those sauces.) 25 minutes from getting into the kitchen to dinner being done isn't a huge time commitment, and there's plenty of stuff you can make in that time.

second, not everything needs to be truly from scratch. canned tomatoes and canned beans feature prominently in many of my recipes. a few premade seasonings/spices do help fill out flavors for some dishes (chili paste and boullion, for example). so there are some very good ways to get shortcuts. finding those, and learning the ones that are useful to you, is very worthwhile.

third, finding options that don't require cooking, that you can use on occasion, may help you feel that you're not strapped to the kitchen entirely. just having an option, even if you don't use it often, may help your mental perspective on things. that might be frozen gluten free meals (some people react to Amy's, some don't; and there are other options out there), or restaurants (either local ones you can work with and trust, or ones with dedicated gluten-free menus), or other 'scrounge' ideas (like I take a can of tuna, mix it with an avocado, and eat it with chips - with some carrots on the side) that don't amount to any real cooking at all.

you do what you have to do, and you find ways to make it easier on yourself. those exact ways will be different for many people, so it's something of a self-searching process. but you can do it! it's all under your control.

[UR Groovy]

Sorry you're having a rough time. I had a mini breakdown on Monday, myself. Thank heaven for the years of therapy (sounds sarcastic, but it's really not). The thing that keeps me away from MdD's and Jack in the Crack is actually not the gluten fear, but the engineered food fear. You have no idea what they put in that stuff. I'd recommend watching the documentary "Super Size Me" - Or the book - Fast Food Nation. It'll really give you a little push. As for comfort food at home, have you tried the rice pastas & such? They're really good.

I think we all go through this. It's been around 4 months for me, and I'm going through little adjustment phases. Every time, I seem to come out more determined. More determined to eat wonderful, colorful fruits and veggies that smell good & I know are working for me instead of against me. Cooking, cutting, prepping, cleaning... It's all worth it. It is, but I sometimes resist. I just don't feel like doing it. Remember how crummy you feel when you're blowing it, and how good you feel when you're doing good things for yourself. Feeling like crap is a huge motivator for me. I felt like crap long enough.

Sometimes, to me, it doesn't really seem fair. It doesn't seem fair that so much of my life was comprimised because of intolerances I didn't even know about. And, now, I can't live like others out there - truth is, though, when I watch the people who come out of the drive-through, it's obvious to me that it's something I just don't want to do. But, you know what? I think it is fair - because I've learned so much about what I can do if I decide to do it.

It's worth it, but sometimes, you kind of slip off the wagon as you go through a rough patch. You get back on - because you can.

Hope you're feeling better. Good luck on your journey.

[wolfie]

I thought about this a lot in the beginning b/c I did a lot of feeling sorry for myself. Then my son was diagnosed and he also has to eat gluten-free and I think that actually made me stronger. It is a pain to cook more from scratch, but it is much healthier in so many ways, not just gluten-free. There are a bunch of easy meals that you can make. Here are some that I do for my family. (BTW, when I cook dinner, it is all gluten-free, even for those who don't have to eat that way b/c it is easier).

hamburgers, baked potato & steamed veggies (you could also make fries or use frozen by McCain)

mac and cheese with brown rice pasta (you can use Velveeta or the Kraft powder)

spaghetti (brown rice) and meatballs (we use Prego 3 Cheese sauce and make the meatballs)

grilled chicken

eggs, bacon & potatoes

gluten-free waffles (Walmart carries Van's for under $2/box)

Tacos with black beans & brown rice or basmati rice

gluten-free pizzas with Kinnikinnick frozen pizza crusts

Tuna salad or chix salad in a lettuce wrap

we do lots of brown rice as a side

So while this stuff does involve some cooking, it is by no means gourmet or time consuming. You can also make extra and freeze in individual servings to quick heating later on. It did take me a while to get used to planning in advance, but once I got the hang of it, I really don't see much difference in difficulty than before I was gluten-free. The major difference (other than feeling much better) is that we eat out MUCH less. We used to get fast food way too much, order pizza, etc. Now we eat out once a week usually and we go to the same place (CHeeseburger in Paradise). They have a gluten free menu and we have the same server(s), so they are well aware of my needs & DS's needs.

[miles2go]

so had a BAD bad badness of bad days yesterday and i rather fell off the wagon.. well more swan dived really... i needed comfort, i needed pain, i needed stodgey fatty things that made me feel full and filled and not hollow...and as delightful as the gluten-free stuff is *rolls eyes* it just didnt cut it...

.. needless to say yesterday i was washed out and today i am in pain and the usual effects that go with my eating a big fat fried chicken burger covered in spcied batter smoothered in mayo all wrapped up in a white floury filled bun (effectivly everything that i should never eat in one package! bless mc d's)

so am trying again today, new day fresh start and i know i have a long way to go with working on the reasons behind the reaching for such food but that will take time..

how you get back on the horse when you know yah just gonna fall off again?... and how do you keep going, i can bear to cook yet another meal from scratch! its driving me insane!

Hi snowcoveredheart,

You've got some really good advice here and it will get easier. Some people have trouble with raw fruits and veggies in the beginning and also figuring out what their specific tolerances are. What worked for me after a time of food diary and giving up dairy products (which was a real pain), was going on those spontaneous outdoor excursions, like hiking, paddling and biking, whatever, and realizing that I had nothing to bring for food. I soon learned to go into a grocery store and pick up whatever it was that I could eat, usually it was a trip to the deli, the produce section and maybe some gluten-free crackers to pack along, sushi if I went to the right store, too. There is a wealth of variety in that combination. My Maine friends are also fond of packing a boiled potato and h.b. egg. Many times I am not prepared in the morning to go to work, so what I do is cook magnificently for a weekend about every 3-4 months and freeze everything that I won't use in a week. My workplace is serendipitous enough to have two refrigerator-sized freezers that go largely unused, so I fill them up as much as I want and there's still room for my coworker's gluteny frozen lunches. It takes a while for the gut to heal and for the mind to catch up to the idea that nature has packaged food to perfection and if you don't want to cook, you don't really have to. That may sound raw-foodist but, there's plenty of time to cook some meals in between, you just to have to get into the mindset of not always having to cook, and that from someone who absolutely loves to do so, but never wants to have to feel compelled to do so. Never give up the gluten-free pizza, cheeseburgers and fried food. That's what makes us feel "normal".

Hope you feel better soon!

Margaret

[Nancym]

I never thought I'd say it... but perhaps having to struggle with my weight (too much, not too little) all my life made this a much easier transition for me. I've had to give up foods for much of the last 20-30 years of my life. So giving up another sort of food (and dairy) wasn't all that difficult. Just have a little compassion for fat people and the issues they have to face, it isn't any different from what celiacs have to face, except not only do you have temptation to face down... you've got hunger to deal with too.

Anyway, the key is always in planning. Learning to cook, finding substitutes you enjoy, and making sure you never feel deprived are all things I've learned on the way. I don't spend a whole lot of time cooking. Usually I cook once or twice a week in large batches and freeze what I can't use within 5 days.

I rely on bagged, cleaned lettuces. Chop up veggies on the weekends. Toss together super fast salads with frozen (heated) chicken meat on top, or canned salmon. I like pine-nuts or chopped pecans on my salads.

I keep a cupboard full of treats I can eat: low-sugar chocolate like 85% chocolate (no dairy in it) is a super easy one. Sometimes I make a sugar-free lemon curd and have it with frozen raspberries. Insanely delicious.

I even invented a muffin I mix up and microwave in a bowl. Sometimes I even remember I have a crockpot and use it too cook while I'm at work.

I don't feel like every meal has to be something elaborate. Sometimes its just fuel. I might have olives and nuts for breakfast.

Anyway, I divert myself from dwelling on what I can't have and concentrate on finding new stuff I love to eat. It totally circumvents the impulses to cheat and indulge in self-pity.

Good luck!

[miles2go]

I might have olives and nuts for breakfast.

Good Lord, woman, you rule!!

[JNBunnie1]

I so know what you mean about being tired of cooking! I figured out the easiest, yummiest dinner ever: meatloaf.

2lbs ground meat

1/2 fine chopped big onion

1 cup gluten-free bread crumbs

salt, pepper, mustard, garlic, whatever blows up your skirt

1 big or 2 little eggs

big huge squirt of ketchup enough to make it all mushy

And you just mix it with your hands (which is kinda fun, admit it) squeeze it into a loaf and bake it at 375 45 min to an hour.

It only took me 7 minutes last time! And the house smells great, too. Another easy dinner is scrambled eggs with chopped avocado and salsa, VERY satisfying for deprived bellies and dairy free too.

[Jestgar]

Anything you melt cheese over counts as a meal (at least in my book), as well as most crunchy things.

You can bake a bunch of potatoes and stick 'em in the frig (to put cheese on later)

Put a frozen hamburger in a pan with some frozen veggies, cover and turn to low until meat is cooked. Break up the meat with a spatula, throw some spaghetti sauce on it and you have a meal - noodles optional.

Canned soup. I stock up when it's on sale. Same with frozen food.

[Guest AlabamaGirl]

how you get back on the horse when you know yah just gonna fall off again?... and how do you keep going ...

Ah, are we not our own worst enemies??? I didn't often *cheat*, but in the past when I accidentally got into some gluten (like from a restaurant -- or me -- being sloppy), I always had a little free-for-all until the next day ... or two. HOWEVER, the night I was so sick that I passed out in the bathroom and woke up in a pool (literally: a pool. had to mop it off of the floor) of sweat ... that kind of did it for me. Right now I am terrified of getting glutened again.

What helped in the beginning was making a list of all my of symptoms and sickness that went away when I went gluten-free, and I carried it with me everywhere. If I was tempted, I read over that list. It's amazing how much the mind "forgets" when you are staring some gluten-laden treat in the face.

I know it's a struggle, but as others have said: It does get easier. Or you just get sicker and sicker until gluten-free living looks like a paradise!

tonya

[gfpaperdoll]

The secret to cheating is to keep a mental list of GLUTEN FREE goodies you consider to be on your "forbidden" list.

For me that would be a $6.00 can of delux mixed nuts (available at Walgreens - on every corner)

Potato Chips - I am not supposed to eat potatoes, allergic, but sometimes I can get away with it.

Pamela's Gluten Free Pantry Brownie Mix - I never eat these but I am never without a box in the house.

Homemade dairy free fudge with Sunspire organic chocolate chips (always keep a couple bags in the pantry) and coconut milk - well it has butter in it but I seem to be able to tolerate butter from time to time.

There are also candy bars, for those of us that are gluten-free & DF the butterfinger seems to give me the least dairy reaction.

Then there are your comfort foods: mine are fried sweet potatoes & onions or homemade tacos

For an easy perfect desert look up Bette Hagman's lemon bars in her Bette Hagman cooks Desserts cookbook - oh, my goodness they are divine, A non gluten-free friend of mine is making them gluten-free because she likes them so much...

I think that I "cheat" occasionally on my regular diet but it is always a Gluten Free cheat!!!!

I am not into pain & suffering

[Phyllis28]

I practice Gluten Free living very much like Nancym. I cook twice a week, eat left overs and keep quick and easy gluten free meals and goodies around. Peanutbutter and Jelly on rice cakes make quick and easy meal. Planning is the key. I try my best to never get stranded hungry without gluten free food handy.

As far as I am concerned, if it is gluten free it is available to be eaten at any meal. Tossing out preconceived notions of a "standard meal" makes gluten free eating much easier.

It will get easier with time.

[gfp]

for one, cooking from scratch doesn't need to be complicated or time consuming. and, unless you don't have the manual dexterity to learn to cut with a knife and stir with a spoon (and they are learned skills), it doesn't have to be difficult either. (for instance... a lot of people make sauces with their dinner - that's an added complication in time and difficulty (and cleaning) that's not nearly always necessary. and one reason I don't go directly out of cookbooks very often... they love themselves those sauces.) 25 minutes from getting into the kitchen to dinner being done isn't a huge time commitment, and there's plenty of stuff you can make in that time.

second, not everything needs to be truly from scratch. canned tomatoes and canned beans feature prominently in many of my recipes. a few premade seasonings/spices do help fill out flavors for some dishes (chili paste and boullion, for example). so there are some very good ways to get shortcuts. finding those, and learning the ones that are useful to you, is very worthwhile.

third, finding options that don't require cooking, that you can use on occasion, may help you feel that you're not strapped to the kitchen entirely. just having an option, even if you don't use it often, may help your mental perspective on things. that might be frozen gluten free meals (some people react to Amy's, some don't; and there are other options out there), or restaurants (either local ones you can work with and trust, or ones with dedicated gluten-free menus), or other 'scrounge' ideas (like I take a can of tuna, mix it with an avocado, and eat it with chips - with some carrots on the side) that don't amount to any real cooking at all.

you do what you have to do, and you find ways to make it easier on yourself. those exact ways will be different for many people, so it's something of a self-searching process. but you can do it! it's all under your control.

She's so correct....

We started a thread once on food that can be cooked in the time it takes to boil rice or cook gluten-free pasta...

When you combine that with making sure you have a big stock of basics like tinned tomatoes and the like it really doesn't need to be time consuming... equally like Nanzie say's you can bulk prepare lots of stuff too.

I don't so much mind preparing as cleaning after but I tend to have 1-2 big sessions a week and have the basis for everything else.

Tonight I just had curry and rice... my girlfriend is working and will eat at work ... I let it cook a while but prep time was only 5 minutes... threw some veggies and chicken in and fried them wirth a commerical paste and can of tomatoes and tin of coconut milk...

Like tarnalberry points out though skill with a knife is really useful... I can slice an onion in about 10 secs... but its just practice and sharp knives... then I left it on low for 1/2 hour and went back and stirred it... and boiled water for the rice and made myself a cuppa tea (being English its compulsary though ine was green tea with lemoin grass and ginger) but hey the water was boiled... chucked in some thai rice (deliberatly not basmati cos its too much effort) and left the boiling water on low so when I got back I just drained it and used the boiling water to rinse ... and top up my tea ....

I know that SOUNDS like a lot but its really not... even if I wasn't gluten-free it would have been more hassle to get a take away (and theres one right outside my appartment across the street)...

[snowcoveredheart]

thanks for all the replies.

i appreciate that its 'my fault' and my choice to eat the food stuffs, but its kinda hard to fight the years of self harm and hate that has me deliberatly reaching for food that makes me ill, so that i will be in pain and ill, because at least then im feeling somethign. this is somethng i am working on, but will take tiem. i have a long history of food issues.

im getting round to the idea of breakfats as being an outdtated concept, and that is really good help and advice so thats for that guys! and the ideas! im terrible for not eatting breakfast most of the time so im trying to learn that as well!

its a lifetime change and its going to take a long time to get there, and equally im in the middle of a major depressed phase at the moment (have been for the last six months) but on the good days i keep trying and keep going.

[tarnalberry]

...

i appreciate that its 'my fault' and my choice to eat the food stuffs,

...

"Fault" is a loaded term here. Only you can do anything about it, so it's your responsibility, but fault implies - usually - something more negative. As you pointed out, there are a lot of extenuating circumstances, a life time of them, so it will take time to get to a point where you want to be. The only thing to do is to keep moving towards it one step at a time. No blame, no bad feelings, just working towards that goal.

[johnsoniu]

Anyway, the key is always in planning. Learning to cook, finding substitutes you enjoy, and making sure you never feel deprived are all things I've learned on the way. I don't spend a whole lot of time cooking. Usually I cook once or twice a week in large batches and freeze what I can't use within 5 days.

Anyway, I divert myself from dwelling on what I can't have and concentrate on finding new stuff I love to eat. It totally circumvents the impulses to cheat and indulge in self-pity.

Good luck!

Two great points.

When I was dx'd and went gluten free I had lost a considerable amount of weight that I really couldn't afford to lose. As a result, I began eating 6 meals a day and trying to consume between 4500-5000 calories. It was a challenge, but I had to plan well ahead and make sure I was always stocked with stuff I could readily eat. This became my focus and prevented me from dwelling on what I was not allowed to eat.

I also found a lot of new stuff I had never had before. Two months ago I had never had quacamole in my life. Now I eat some almost everyday and mix up a pretty good batch with my wife's "Magic Bullet". Yes, the same "Magic Bullet" I laughed at her for buying a year ago

[kgk]

This is my first post here ... been gluten-free for 2.5 years now. Anyway, to answer the OP ... do you like doing things that hurt? That's how I avoid foods with gluten. I look at a loaf of bread, see pain, and have no desire at all to consume said bread. It really is that simple to me.

[miles2go]

This is my first post here ... been gluten-free for 2.5 years now. Anyway, to answer the OP ... do you like doing things that hurt? That's how I avoid foods with gluten. I look at a loaf of bread, see pain, and have no desire at all to consume said bread. It really is that simple to me.

Hi kgk,

Welcome to the board, although it seems a little odd to be welcoming someone who has been gluten free for longer than I have. I understand your point, but it isn't that simple for everyone. I'm not BP, but have to have two quite painful shots and one not-so-painful shot every two weeks to keep me feeling better, so the link isn't always so firmly placed. And I look at a loaf of bread now with the discerning eyes of is it gluten-free or not?

All due respect,

Margaret

[snowcoveredheart]

actualy kgk, thats exactly WHY i pick up the bread... so i will hurt. i know full well what a slice of bread does and how many days of ouchies and stuffs it means.. at that point i either dont care or i want to be in pain for a whole heap of reaonssn and issues...thngs im trying to cope with and deal with - but these are habits and issues that will take a lot longer to deal with than the simple act of replacing the bread in my house.

im not saying your view point isnt correct, but its not always as simple as that. I just have at least recongnised what im doing and am trying to work on it.

[Nic]

actualy kgk, thats exactly WHY i pick up the bread... so i will hurt. i know full well what a slice of bread does and how many days of ouchies and stuffs it means.. at that point i either dont care or i want to be in pain for a whole heap of reaonssn and issues...thngs im trying to cope with and deal with - but these are habits and issues that will take a lot longer to deal with than the simple act of replacing the bread in my house.

im not saying your view point isnt correct, but its not always as simple as that. I just have at least recongnised what im doing and am trying to work on it.

Maybe part of the solution is to work on why you would want to hurt yourself. And I mean no disrepect by that at all. My aunt in a compulsive eater and just had the lap band surgery so she cannot overeat. But that doesn't solve why she needs the comfort of food to begin with. Same here I believe, all of the simple meal ideas we come up with does not change that you have said more than once on this thread that you want to be in pain. Just a thought.

Nicole

[pooter]

keep in mind that depression and related psychological issues can be directly related to gluten consumption. I struggled with severe depression for many many years and I admit that the first year gluten free was tough. The first few weeks I had severe withdrawals, then after that cravings that wouldn't go away... I spent many days angry and crying. But here's the thing. The longer I stayed gluten-free and got it through my head that gluten was poison, the depression and the desire to hurt myself went away. I did have the help of medication to help me through those rough times. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Don't blame yourself for something that is in your physiological makeup. Take one baby step at a time, and focus on what goodies you CAN have, not on what you can't. Find as much gluten free junk food as you can to keep on hand so that when you are feeling deprived you can cheat (gluten free of course) with your favorite gluten free junk food. I love Easter because my favorite "bad" food is out for a short while... Cadbury Cream Eggs... that and I'll steal my daughter's Fluffy Stuff cotton candy!

Whatever your comfort foods are, find a great gluten-free substitute and allow yourself your comfort foods whenever you want them. Do not ever go without... just go without gluten. It can be done.

[snowcoveredheart]

nic - i am trying to work on it, its just it takes a lot of time. I have been diagnosed and seen a psy docs a while before. Meds are out for me cause i cant abide the side effects. so this will take a lot of time, a lot more time than clearing my cupbaords took, i will go out and buy stuff when im in 'that' mood.

pooter - thanks for that, i have read so much stuff on the relationship between food and mood, theres a couple of very interesting governmental food agency reports on the issues, and i appreciate there must be a causeational link - but equally some of it isnt, or at least test have been very inconclusive (im bp, and thats the least reactive to food changes), but everyday is a new one so i keep trying, its just hard some days, im either hyper and dnt even think about it and want sugar and sugar, or im depressed and want pain.