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How Do You Respond To Things Like This?

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my sisters are coming and we have a tradition of pizza and cake on a girls' night and while i'm thrilled for all of us to get together since we only can about once a year, i'm newly/finally diagnosed with celiac after almost 14 years of illness. one sister is absolutely understanding and thankful for the diagnosis, but my other sister cannot wrap her brain around it and thinks i'm being overboard. i would looove to carry on our teenage tradition but i can no longer and she just isn't understanding. i'm sad that i can't, but at the same time i'm thankful that i can control this disease by not having to go through surgeries, drugs or treatments, ya know!

conversation went something like this- we are doing pizza and cake like old times right?! my response- i can't anymore, it has gluten and 1 bite will hurt me.

her response- oh please, you aren't gonna be 1 of those girls are you?!

for all of you that have been living gluten free and have dealt with these comments i need your advice please ... how do you respond to reactions like this??

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Answers:

"The kind that spends a week on the toilet after eating?"

"The kind that puts food before her sisters health?"

"yes."

"I know there are people who just get whacked out about what they eat, but this a real illness."

"Hmmmm, I didn't explain this very well. Let's go over it again."

"I don't want to abandon our tradition, I just need to rearrange things a bit so I can still share in it."

"I need this day with you as much as I always did, I'll just be bringing my own pizza."

It all depends on where you think your sister is coming from.

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my sisters are coming and we have a tradition of pizza and cake on a girls' night and while i'm thrilled for all of us to get together since we only can about once a year, i'm newly/finally diagnosed with celiac after almost 14 years of illness. one sister is absolutely understanding and thankful for the diagnosis, but my other sister cannot wrap her brain around it and thinks i'm being overboard. i would looove to carry on our teenage tradition but i can no longer and she just isn't understanding. i'm sad that i can't, but at the same time i'm thankful that i can control this disease by not having to go through surgeries, drugs or treatments, ya know!

conversation went something like this- we are doing pizza and cake like old times right?! my response- i can't anymore, it has gluten and 1 bite will hurt me.

her response- oh please, you aren't gonna be 1 of those girls are you?!

for all of you that have been living gluten free and have dealt with these comments i need your advice please ... how do you respond to reactions like this??

I know it sounds hard to do - but treat it like THEY aren't controlling your health and stick with it.....there are ALWAYS ultimatums and compromises to be made.

Do the girl's nite....Let them eat the not good stuff and you eat some good stuff you've brought for you....I'll bet they wouldn't know the difference between a gluten free cake made well....and besides, I couldn't add cake to a pizza bloated stomach! (boy are you strong)

Have wine for yourself or a few bottles for everyone......change up the menu some - add fresh veggies and dip too (goes over better than donuts and cookies at my job!)......but the most important thing is this....

Celiac doesn't and shouldn't control your whole life....it just re-routes a path that you travel.

Always do your best to participate because this is something YOU need to do to feel just like everybody else.

Stay determined ..... and stay smart in your eating.

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Why not stil have pizza & cake ?!?!?!

Buy some gluten free pizza shells and throw some toppings on - make a gluten free cake or cupcakes - ice with gluten-free icing. Adapting feels much better than missing out !

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Why not stil have pizza & cake ?!?!?!

Buy some gluten free pizza shells and throw some toppings on - make a gluten free cake or cupcakes - ice with gluten-free icing. Adapting feels much better than missing out !

That would be what I do. If you guys like deep dish Gluten Free Pantry makes a great french bread mix that also makes a great pizza dough. They also make cake mixes and Betty Crocker even has mixes now.

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I made a rum cake for a good friend's b-day, chocolate cupcakes for another, and lime cupcakes for my b-day. No one could tell they were gluten free! I'd make a gluten free cake and some gluten-free pizza for you and if they don't want to try it they can get regular pizza and cake. Then you are all eating the same type of food. The girls night should be about being together, having fun, and laughing...not the food.

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Definitely bring your own pizza and cake!! I made Bob's Redmill pizza crust, it was pretty good, needs some zip though. And next weekend we are attending birthday party and I am bringing cupcakes for my whole family, even when there will be gluten filled birthday cake for everyone else.

Don't let others determine how you are going to run you life, let alone your health! Just think about how good you will feel!! And how crummy they will feel. If they are your sisters, there is a probability that they are gluten sensitive too! You will have to be the one to show them the light!!! Good luck and feel great:)

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Another vote for "bring your own". If you've got time for making pizza and cake (and maybe sometimes you do, and sometimes you don't), GREAT! If you make something else, GREAT! If you eat before hand and don't eat while socializing with them, GREAT! All kinds of options.

She may come around, or she may not. But it's probably a lot to expect everyone to jump right on board with you at first. (As much as we with they would.)

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Bluebonnet,

Let me see if I am hearing correctly. Are you refusing to participate in the girl night with your sister just because it's always been glutened pizza and glutened cake? Or are you just not going to eat the poisoned items and still enjoy the time with your sisters by fixing gluten free pizza and gluten-free cake?

No reason for you to be 1 of those girls. Just don't eat gluten and enjoy the time with your sisters and friends. Living without gluten does not mean you have to live without everything that is important in life.

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Because I'm having trouble with nightshades as well, traditional pizza would be out for me even if I made it myself. However I could make a spinach/white sauce pizza to take with me or to share, or take something to eat so I won't just have to watch others eat.

The best strategy I've found to work for me at this point is:

A. Take along a gluten-free variety of the same or similar food that everyone else will be eating

OR

B. :

1. Make sure I'm not starving when the gluten shows up. If I'm hungry it's SO much harder to withstand the temptation, and if I'm reasonably satisfied it's not as bad.

2. Take along something to share, or at least something that I like, to nibble while they eat their food.

3. Remind myself of how I'm going to feel for the next 3 days or week if I succumb to even one taste, and how great I've been feeling now that I don't have gluten in my life.

In time I know you'll find what works for your situation, and maybe your sister will come to understand that this change doesn't have to mean the end of all your traditions, just some adjustment necessary... and isn't that just life anyway??

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thanks for the responses! i think my sister just needs to understand more about celiac and exactly *why* i can't do even a bite. i will check out some of those gluten free items to make my own dough ... haven't ventured down the baking road. for some reason the betty crocker gluten free cake mix scares me even though i know they can't claim gluten free unless it truly is. maybe cause i remember what i felt like when i ate the cake! lol

i guess it will be a little weird bringing my own food to a get together (or restaurant) but i have no problem getting used to it real quick! since starting gluten free and getting diagnosed i feel like a huge weight has been lifted and hope for a healthy future .. no matter who has a problem with my declining food! :)

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thanks for the responses! i think my sister just needs to understand more about celiac and exactly *why* i can't do even a bite. i will check out some of those gluten free items to make my own dough ... haven't ventured down the baking road. for some reason the betty crocker gluten free cake mix scares me even though i know they can't claim gluten free unless it truly is. maybe cause i remember what i felt like when i ate the cake! lol

i guess it will be a little weird bringing my own food to a get together (or restaurant) but i have no problem getting used to it real quick! since starting gluten free and getting diagnosed i feel like a huge weight has been lifted and hope for a healthy future .. no matter who has a problem with my declining food! :)

I had a few people who thought it was just like any allergy and that I could have some as long as I dont' overdo it, which you can do with allergies if they are mild.

You have to explain that it's an autoimmune disorder which means that your body perceives gluten as a toxin, and to avoid digesting that toxin, your body will destroy your own intestines. That's what autoimmune means. Your immune system is turning on itself. If you eat even just a little bit of pizza, it will cause your digestive system to be damaged.

I would also explain that now that you are off of gluten you will feel the effects more intensely. (That may or may not be true because some people are able to get glutened without ill effects but she doesn't need to know that.)

You also need to tell her that it's not a diet or a fad that you are doing for health or weight loss. It's medically necessary and if you don't follow it, celiac can lead to terrible things like cancer and other autoimmune disorders.

I would also let her know that this is not going to hurt your time together at all. You value this get together and you totally don't mind bringing your own pizza and cake.

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I read online there are gluten free resturants and I don't know where your located but even seen gluten free pizza places mentioned, ones I saw were in Atlanta GA. Type in Gluten Free resturants and see what you pull up. If you can't find a resturant to go to then id suggest making pizza at home and buying gluten-free cake and have your sisters get together. I don't know how old your sister is that don't understand, but she needs to realize this is a health issue, not a just choosing not to eat something issue and maybe give her information on how serious it can be if you do not take care of your health by eliminating gluten in your diet. I am new to the gluten free myself, newly diagnosed since December. Good luck!

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Because I'm having trouble with nightshades as well, traditional pizza would be out for me even if I made it myself. However I could make a spinach/white sauce pizza to take with me or to share, or take something to eat so I won't just have to watch others eat.

The best strategy I've found to work for me at this point is:

A. Take along a gluten-free variety of the same or similar food that everyone else will be eating

I make a killer pizza I had in Chicago with the pre-made Glutino crust, BBQ sauce, sausage, onions, bacon topped with cheese. I sometimes just sub. out the sausage for chicken and it is delish. Just make your own and bring it along. I don't think I could stand to be around other's eating pizza without indulging in some gluten-free variety. I will also put in a vote for Trader Joe's gluten-free brownies. They are awesome alone or with add-on's. Even my gluten friends like them!

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there are LOTS of options for making gluten free pizza thankfully, so your sister won't need to be inconvenienced by your disease.

Here's one recipe http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/deep_dish_pizza.html

Here's another http://www.examiner.com/x-355-Low-Carb-Examiner~y2008m6d4-Cauliflower-Pizza-Crust-Worth-its-Wow-in-Gold

And cake is easy too! I use almond flour or coconut flour for baking now. Both are gluten free, and low carb too! ;-) I recently made my own almond flour (because it's so expensive). I bought a bag of sliced almonds, and then ground them up in my coffee grinder to make flour. Works awesome, and only cost me like $2.50 instead of $10!

Here's a really good recipe for coffee cake

Cake:

2 cups almond flour

3/4 cups Splenda (or equivalent of whatever sweetener you prefer, I use Stevia mostly now)

1 tsp cinnamon

2 sticks butter, cold

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

3/4 cup sour cream

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

Topping:

1 8 oz pkg cream cheese, softened

1/8 cup Splenda

1/2 tsp vanilla

1 egg

1/2 cup raspberries (I used frozen)

Preheat oven to 350F

In a large bowl, combine flour, splenda and cinnamon; cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs (do not at this juncture decide to go play in the yard with the dogs for a few minutes while the mixer does the work for you!)

Add to the remaining crumb mixture the baking powder, soda, salt, sour cream, egg and vanilla. Blend well. Spread batter in an 8x8 inch baking pan.

For the topping: in a bowl, combine cream cheese, splenda, and egg, bled well. Pour over batter in the pan. Carefully spoon the raspberries evenly over the cream cheese mixture. Sprinkle ground almonds or crumbs over the top.

Bake for approx. 50 minutes, or until set (I think I had mine in for a full hour). Cool completely before serving.

It's very very yummy! I modified this recipe from the Watkins website

http://www.watkinsonline.com/recipes/recipeDetail.cfm?category=3&subcat=0&detail=556

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Thank you so much for the recipes I can't wait to try them! Lo carb and gluton free! Exactly what I need!

!

there are LOTS of options for making gluten free pizza thankfully, so your sister won't need to be inconvenienced by your disease.

Here's one recipe http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/deep_dish_pizza.html

Here's another http://www.examiner.com/x-355-Low-Carb-Examiner~y2008m6d4-Cauliflower-Pizza-Crust-Worth-its-Wow-in-Gold

And cake is easy too! I use almond flour or coconut flour for baking now. Both are gluten free, and low carb too! ;-) I recently made my own almond flour (because it's so expensive). I bought a bag of sliced almonds, and then ground them up in my coffee grinder to make flour. Works awesome, and only cost me like $2.50 instead of $10!

Here's a really good recipe for coffee cake

Cake:

2 cups almond flour

3/4 cups Splenda (or equivalent of whatever sweetener you prefer, I use Stevia mostly now)

1 tsp cinnamon

2 sticks butter, cold

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

3/4 cup sour cream

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

Topping:

1 8 oz pkg cream cheese, softened

1/8 cup Splenda

1/2 tsp vanilla

1 egg

1/2 cup raspberries (I used frozen)

Preheat oven to 350F

In a large bowl, combine flour, splenda and cinnamon; cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs (do not at this juncture decide to go play in the yard with the dogs for a few minutes while the mixer does the work for you!)

Add to the remaining crumb mixture the baking powder, soda, salt, sour cream, egg and vanilla. Blend well. Spread batter in an 8x8 inch baking pan.

For the topping: in a bowl, combine cream cheese, splenda, and egg, bled well. Pour over batter in the pan. Carefully spoon the raspberries evenly over the cream cheese mixture. Sprinkle ground almonds or crumbs over the top.

Bake for approx. 50 minutes, or until set (I think I had mine in for a full hour). Cool completely before serving.

It's very very yummy! I modified this recipe from the Watkins website

http://www.watkinsonline.com/recipes/recipeDetail.cfm?category=3&subcat=0&detail=556

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my pleasure :-)

there's actually quite a few Celiacs on the Atkins community forums, and given the "no grains" nature of the early phases of Atkins, it's a perfect eating plan!

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