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These days...

Keight

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I left off my last blog entry about to see my GP for my ongoing lethargy issues. My iron stores are now in the normal range (yay!) and my fasting blood glucose is 5.4. She left me with the advice to allow time to heal things and that there is nothing she can find that is wrong with me. 

Resting my entire weekend, every weekend, away is not what I call living. I am literally living to work, eat and sleep. I am finding it very difficult to reconcile this being my life for the immediate future. I am not fond of sitting at home, feeling too energyless to do the things I love. But I shall heed advice from all and give myself until September to see how things progress.

My goals for this year were to go with my eldest to China and North Korea, do a double body weight deadlift, get cycling again, finally do an engine rebuild and complete more Cummins training. Looks like I have to reassess my goals. My boss will not put me on week long jobs until he feels I will see them out; meaning my health stabilises. 

So, what to do? I had wanted to learn bass guitar, do singing lessons, maybe try yoga again and go to Singapore alone. These might be more feasible. But I need to start with small outings with my boys. It has been so long since we have gone out as a family. 

A big part of this year will be dealing with my emotions, especially my negative ones. I had slowly slumped into a habit of seeing the world through jaded and pained eyes. My bubbly disposition has well and truly died and I have an abundance of grief to deal with. 

Life, as I envisioned at 20, has NOT eventuated. Not a thing went to plan. Road blocks along every single year. So many detours have been taken that I no longer know where I am, or where to head. The thing I find hardest is that the very simple things I love - my morning coffee, my weight lifting, my joy of travel - have gone. I had shaved my desires of life to three things, but even they have to be set aside. 

I am left back at a new beginning. I have moved countries three times, had my entire belongings thrown out or left behind at least four times... I am tired of this. The upheval, the buying it all again, the replanning. 

What do I hope for? A place to call my own until I die, a garden I can grow organic veg and herbs in, a chance to see how far I can take weight lifting, a trip to Israel-Greece-India-Japan without being glutened and be considered a capable, reliable mechanic. 

I am scared to try to plan for all this. I have lost faith I can achieve my goals. Let me see how this year pans out health wise. 



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With healing you can regain a lot of it. My energy is back up  and good I just have to worry about eating and bathroom due to my Ulcerative Colitis and Allergies. You can probably still do lighter weights and exercise band resistance training to keep muscle tone and slower taper it back up.

Traveling...this has been the hardest for me used to be just pack meal bars and meds first few years after Diagnosis. Now days with my UC I have to take a chemical toilet in my car, more food in case I get stuck somewhere in pain or with fatigue. >.< I recently started a fun project, a Ambulance I can work on in my spare time to use as a RV and travel.

I gave up coffee for awhile then added it back in using Christopher Beans flavored ones. I recently had to remove it again with my UC flare, but find I still do great with republics of Teas green teas.
 

Edited by Ennis_TX

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The best I’ve ever felt was when I healed after my diagnosis in my mid 20s. I KNOW this is what you have to look forward to because you’re quite the firecracker. Your life is full and you have dreams to achieve. Also, once healed, the chances of a major set back with accidental cross contamination are slim. So travel is possible without bringing your refrigerator and anxiety with you. If you aren’t sure what to eat while traveling, choose steamed veggies and maybe rice. Some sushi rice has wheat flour as a binder, so beware of that unless you clarify with a server. 
 

Have you had your levels checked for vitamin B12, B6, Folate and D?  Have you have ALL your thyroid levels checked TSH, Free T4 (by dialysis), Free T3, Reverse T3 as well as the 3 antibody levels?  Oftentimes the docs just run TSH and call it done. TSH is produced by your pituitary and is the thermostat for your thyroid. You need the other levels to know how your thyroid is functioning. Free T4 is converted into Free T3 and Reverse T3 (the brakes on T4 to T3 conversion) based on a mechanism dependent upon your liver and digestive system. It’s extremely common for Celiacs to have autoimmune thyroid issues. Thyroid is quite individual, what’s “normal” for one person might not be right for another. You may need your estrogen and testosterone levels evaluated, too. All of the above can affect your energy levels. The vitamins listed above, as well as thyroid dysfunction, can contribute to depression. 
 

At one point in my life I worked as a wellness specialist, instructed yoga and spinning, and taught nutrition classes. I worked for a very large auto manufacturer and was ultimately responsible for making sure the employees quit smoking and had acceptable BMIs to lower the insurance rates. From this, I can assume you have high muscle mass (high metabolism) and a disciplined diet for your lifting. The building phase is going to be challenging for you while you heal. You’re better off working on stamina with cardiovascular, stretching with yoga and eating a diet higher lean meat with veggies and some fruits. The cardiovascular exercise brings oxygen to your tissues to heal, increases endorphins, serotonin and norepinephrine to combat depression. Yoga teaches breathing and helps with depression and anxiety. You will also find yourself building muscle as you advance. The increase in protein will protect you from burning up your muscle stores in the process of your illness. Bone broth to sip on throughout the day to heal your GI tract. 
 

I’m sure you already know the fitness stuff I’ve relayed, sometimes it helps repeating. My feeling is that you don’t have all the answers and are quite discouraged. Get back in the gym and enjoy a few minutes of being you, doing what you love. Keep pursuing answers and healing. Do not allow yourself to be beat by this - it’s just a redirect while you learn what your body needs. 

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