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Yeah -- I think the cardio is a good idea -- I was actually running 4 days a week post-breakup and then realized how severely underweight and malnourished I was -- when I proctored the exam for the class I was teaching, I noticed that my hands were shaking as I handed out the exam questions. Took time off to rest, heal and get my weight back up -- which meant cutting out the cardio. Maybe I should just start off with jogging twice a week for a while.

St. John's Wort -- great idea -- have I heard something about it interacting with birth control pills? Those are the only other pharmacuticals I'm taking. Not that I need to take them right now, but I'm a little leery about messing with my hormonal balance on top of everything else....

So, most of my major anxiety, brain fog and fatigue issues have been resolved by the gluten-free diet and the vitamins.

However, I'm mourning the loss of a six year relationship and it's kicking my ass -- although I've finally broken off contact with the continually angry for months guy who dumped me and then continued to send mixed messages for another two months about wanting to reconcile and about how much the whole breakup was my fault. This is kind of a caricature -- it's more complicated and we had a really good, strong bond in some ways, but it's been eclipsed by his anger at me and my health stuff.

I seriously need to get structure and joy back into my life -- I'm supposed to be doing research and writing all summer, but the lack of form to my days is starting to be a problem. I am doing a lot of positive things -- lots of yoga and eating right and seeing friends (and I've actually been introduced to a guy I can have some fun dates with and have plans to call another guy I've known for a while and ask him out).

I'm doing my best to move on, but yesterday morning the guy came and finally got the rest of his stuff out of the house (I had to force him to do it), and it's left me feeling free but depressed and sapped. For the past day, I've been doing way too much napping and sitting on the couch with the cat.

I'm seeing a psychologist who's very supportive and lauds my strong spirit and positive attitude -- I really want to do all of this in such a way that I'm feeling what I need to feel and processing my emotions effectively so I can move through things in a healthy way -- but I'm starting to consider that I might need to take something to get me over the hump for a couple of months -- any recommendations for gluten-free anti-depressant meds that aren't too scary?

I know I've seen threads about supplements and such, but haven't been able to turn the most useful ones I remember up when I do a search.

Basically, I'm looking to find out what kinds of nutrients I should be supplementing while I'm still healing -- I've recently realized I need to be doing sublingual b-complex -- which has evened out a lot of the last of my jitteriness. I'm doing oral multi-vitamins with iron, extra calcium, fish oil and a good probiotic. However, I'm not always sure how much of this stuff is getting absorbed -- the multi has enough b-complex, but the sublingual is what's made the real difference.

My university infirmary did some initial bloodwork on nutrient levels -- they covered potassium, calcium, folate, iron, beta carotene and B12 -- however, I've just realized that there's a lot they simply didn't test for -- I think I had a really serious niacin deficiency, for instance. I'm a graduate student with a really lousy student health plan, so I'd prefer not to shell out for more tests right now if I can avoid it.

I'm also working on the food angle -- but, again, I don't know exactly what I'll be absorbing

1. I thought my reactions were less severe, but as I've been healing and recovering from the removal of all gluten, I can see how truly sick I really was -- I think I'd just gotten used to living like that. It's been a bit of a shock.

2. Lactose became more of an obvious problem for me after a month or so where my diet was gluten-free (except it took another couple of weeks to figure out that my vitamins and shampoo were culprits as well). What I found was that I reacted very strongly to milk and soft cheeses -- by that time, I had enough of an awareness of what "healthy" felt like that I could easily identify what had caused the D. when I'd eaten something. I did the Enterolab testing partly because I wanted to know whether the dairy thing was lactose or casein (turns out I don't react to casein). At this point, I do eat a little bit of dairy -- mostly yogurt, which doesn't really contain lactose -- but I take Lactaid when I eat cheese or put milk in my coffee. This seems to take care of the problem and I hope I'll eventually not need the Lactaid as I heal more.

3. Can't speak to the thyroid issues.

4. My last accidental glutening put me out for a week and I lost a lot of weight in a very short time -- this was before I discovered Immodium. I was initially skeptical about whether I'd be able to stick with the diet or not, but now I have absolutely no problems with it -- friends can even munch pizza in front of me and I'm not in the least tempted. Again, knowing what healthy really feels like is what made all the difference.

5. My roommate and I are very careful about cross-contamination in the kitchen -- she's got her own toaster, we make sure things are free of crumbs and they go in the dishwasher when they're contaminated -- we just use clean knives and spoons in the condiment and peanut butter jars -- if she wants to dip a crumby knife into peanut butter, she scoops some into a small bowl first (she's a nursing student, so she's very tolerant of all this stuff). Having seen the light, so to speak, I'm not so concerned about the hassle anymore.

6. I feel you on the large container of wheat-containing shampoo thing -- I had a lot of Aveda products in large containers which I had to give away. The hair, skin and cosmetic products were the last thing I sorted out, partly because I couldn't quite believe that I would be that sensitive. However, I had an anxiety attack and then D. within an hour of getting a mouthful of shampoo in the shower (you can't always count on being so careful when things are wet and slippery and you're in a hurry to get to work!), so eventually that was just an obvious thing to deal with. It was a hassle, but I really don't think I started feeling consistently better until I'd gotten rid of all the possible sources of gluten in my life.

Hmm -- those links don't seem to be working psawyer -- but I do have a question -- is my theory that I reacted to the cloud of cat food dust that came out of the bag this morning possibly wrong?

So, I'm either going to need a surgical mask to feed my cat, or change her cat food. Now that I've finally gotten out of the bathroom, does anyone have any brands to recommend?

e.

I'm in graduate school and the brain fog was what made it impossible to focus on my writing once I was out of coursework and supposed to be doing dissertation work on my own. I actually thought I might have ADD -- although the drugs did little for me. For me, it's like walking into a wall of liquid stupid -- comes with this weighty feeling in my head and a lot of anxiety. I remember a particularly bad period when I would forget my next word in the middle of a sentence.

I think I'm another one of those temporary lactose-intolerant people. Right now, I'm eating small amounts of dairy -- like really good parmesan on my Tinkyada pasta once a week -- and using lactaid when I do. This seems to have been a successful strategy for me.

Oh, I'm definitely not ready to be looking for a serious relationship. The problem I have with "casual encounters" is that I'm in a university town with a dating pool that's mostly transients and there's a lot of partying going on. I mean I'm not into the sex for fun with no ethical care for the other person's feelings thing. Of course, I'm also pretty firm that I don't want to stay in this town once I'm done with my degree, so virtually anyone I was to date would have to be, by definition, not serious.

I guess I'm also just not ready to be dating -- it's only been two months and a lot of them have been taken up by what Elonwy is calling the "stupidity" -- stupidity of finding out about celiac, stupidity of breakup -- finally, the drama is starting to recede. I think in a few months I may be ready to date again -- and I'm certainly meeting people, but I just don't have an interest right now in getting into other boy/girl stuff -- I'm still healing.

Yes -- you are all right -- he did run when this went down and I cannot let that be okay -- I totally agree with what everyone is saying.

He is asking me to meet with him at some point in the next few weeks, however, and I think I'm going to -- If for no other reason than to hear what he has to say and see if he recognizes his responsibility in all of this.

To his credit, he has been flying from job interview to job interview for the last two months and I know that, on one level, he's terrified that he's going to be unemployed. That doesn't make for an excuse, but I do know that some of his concern before all this went down was that he wasn't going to be able to adequately support the both of us.

Whatever happens, I'm not "going back" soon or in any easy way -- I've already decided that I need a year on my own to pick up the pieces. I guess what I want to figure out is how thoroughly I need to drop this guy from my life given that we had six years together and many friends and family in common. This has more to do with the question of whether we can be civil or can be friends than anything else.

Wow -- hope I'm not coming across as too doormatty here -- I've been trying to process a lot in therapy -- basically, I'm trying to be honest and real, but firm.

BTW -- I totally agree with you too Elonwy! I was just wondering -- now that I've got this thing -- how many people out there _were_ actually freaked by this stuff. After almost six years in one relationship, I've got no flipping clue what dating is like anymore.

Yeah, I guess I should give some more context here -- it's not as simple as "I got sick, he left me" -- although I have had to go through a bit of that self-pitying phase.

Basically, he was impatient about the fact that he wanted me to find out and fix whatever was wrong with me fast -- in time for him to finish his dissertation, get a job, propose to me and have us move off together to a happy tomorrow.

Most of my symptoms seemed, at the time, to be symptoms of deep anxiety, possibly ADHD, etc.... -- our couple's counselor has actually pointed out that he thought fleetingly that I could have been bipolar. I pretty strongly -- too strongly, perhaps -- resisted the psychiatric diagnosis because of some fears and projections I had about being "crazy" -- stemming from my late mother's experiences --which were pretty atrocious.

Anyway -- BF picked up on these fears and projections and kind of adopted them himself -- meanwhile, I'm starting to figure out that this is a food thing, not a mind thing and I'm trying to hold him off with one hand while I go about doing what he's asking me to do (which I want to do anyway -- because it's my life and my health -- but I was damn well not going to let anyone push me around and tell me how to do it).

So -- the celiac thing came as quite a shock -- with inconclusive bloodwork -- just before he turned in the dissertation. When he didn't see immediate improvement, he had to leave because he was just about drowning in worry about me and anger that he felt I wasn't listening to his concerns -- he was stressed about the lack of job interviews for him and worried that the whole situation was going to take his dissertation down. I was just about drowning myself in all of this -- so it was a relief for him to leave.

Now, well, now he's trying to figure things out -- we're about to take "tiny baby steps" and have a few dates to see whether we can still be peaceful together -- because he's still in town for at least the summer. I cannot leave town with him as was originally planned -- I need the year to stay here and heal and get my life and degree back on track.

So -- it's complicated. The sex thing is only part of it. I guess it's been on my mind lately because ex-BF and I were at the same party last weekend and he was starting to flirt with me and I overheard him telling a lot of "Erica and I" stories to other people on the side. In the next week or so, we're supposed to go on a hike together.

So, that's the story

Bluntly, if they cant handle the fact you have celiac disease, then they are very shallow and you should ignore them and move on.

Thats just my take on it....

Yeah -- I should add that I'm not so much concerned about the ex-boyfriend's desire -- the issues are probably somewhat different there -- having more to do with his frustration that it took so long to figure out what was up with my health. This is more of a larger question since I'm in downtime right now and starting to think about the things that will come up after healing -- whether I'm going to choose to return to this relationship or move on to someone else.

So, I'm getting accustomed to my new identity as a person with an autoimmune disorder -- and my life is in quite a bit of disarray right now with an ex-boyfriend who's slowly figuring out whether he can come to terms with this stuff and start to rebuild a relationship or not.

I'm generally pretty comfortable with my body and stuff and, ironically, despite the low weight, I do still seem to attract some attention from men -- nice, because it's affirming in a way -- but I'm also way past the point of being worried whether I'm hot or not. At 36, I've got kind of an old soul -- which, combined with knowing I'm not physically whole right now is what's prevented me from following my girlfriends' advice to go out and have a bunch of fun casual encounters.

But here's the question -- eventually I will want to have sex again -- my drive is still there and I know it's going to happen. I worry about whether the fact that I'm technically a "sick person" will scare men off or not. My fear is that -- because I'm someone who's confronted mortality so much recently -- both through Celiac and through my mother's death two years ago -- people will think of me as some kind of untouchable.

This may seem like a weird question and it's obviously based in a lot of my fears -- I do still have a very young spirit -- of the playful, tree-climbing variety -- but I don't know whether other people will be able to deal.

Any thoughts, ideas answers out there?

Okay -- things have really been sinking in since I got my Enterolab results and I realize suddenly that I'm going to need to rebalance my life if I'm going to heal and get through this in one piece. I'm pretty sure I've got all the hidden gluten out of my life finally

I'm in graduate school and have some savings, so I've got a little time, but I need to be careful because I really should be hunting for a full-time job over the summer. I don't want to stretch myself too thin, however.

My primary symptoms before were neurological -- brain fog, anxiety -- these have significantly alleviated since going gluten-free, but I'm now realizing exactly how much fatigue I was simply ignoring in my life. I was running 3-4 days a week for 1/2 hour, doing yoga and some weights -- I've had to scale back a lot on that stuff because I had a week after being glutened where I lost a bunch of weight.

So -- my BM's are now pretty much normal -- when I haven't been glutened and when I've avoided lactose (I'm not casein-intolerant). I still deal with the fatigue on and off and I know I really need to gain some weight to make sure that I sustain the growth towards health.

I take a good multivitamin, a probiotic, fish oil and calcium -- I've also stocked up on Immodium and extra b-complex for times when I've been glutened.

How long should I expect that I need to be careful about not stretching myself too thin? How long does it take to really heal with symptoms like mine and the rate of healing I've already seen? Anyone know?

Takes me 1-2 hours to get intense anxiety and brain fog -- which I'm still learning to identify as a reaction to food since I've got a bunch of stuff to logically be anxious about right now. Within 12 hours I've got the gastro symptoms.

I actually have two copies of the two genes -- which means it comes from both sides of the family. Hopefully the loved ones who think I've gone all whacked will start to soften up a little bit now.....

Did anyone else find that their family members responded more positively to actual hard scientific data?

For any high-end cosmetic geeks out there, Nars wrote me to say they have no gluten-containing products. This is a relief for me because I love their Laguna bronzer and lipstick, but can't afford to replace them while I'm still a student!

I'm going on vacation to see a friend who lives in Oakland and works in Berkeley -- it will be my first gluten-free trip and also my first trip to San Francisco -- where do I absolutely need to go to eat (if there is any place)? OR -- where would I be safe eating even if it's not that great.

Any links, lists, etc... would be appreciated!

Lemon and lime work great for me -- especially lime juice squeezed over baked sweet potatoes. I'm also a huge chili fan and I eat a lot of steamed broccoli tossed with garlic, olive oil and red chili pepper flakes. Garlic -- now there's something that tends to curb the salt urge for me!

Hooray -- I never thought I'd be so excited about an itchy rash -- is it true that, if it's DH, I can get a celiac diagnosis by having it biopsied? How many days does it take for the rash to stick around? I'm a graduate student and have to go through the Infirmary at my university -- which may mean that I see a nurse practicioner who has to refer me to a dermatologist who's only around for a couple of days a week.

I have been very careful with my food, but I know that something glutened me this past weekend -- I've also had a couple of reactions to dairy -- the GI symptoms seem to only appear when it's a question of milk or soft cheeses. Hmmmmmm..

I wonder if more gas after going gluten-free might just be a result of the fact that more food is actually getting digested?

As for your nutritionist friend, they may be "right" in a large-scale sense, but when you get down to basic molecular structure corn gluten is not the same. And that's what counts.

Sorry if I sound smug -- it's that kind of day!

I haven't heard of that issue with the nuvaring. Not sure why the diaphragm would--perhaps transfer of bacteria?? Anywho, I do not think the nuvaring should cause that problem for you. There is a 'risk' of vaginal infections, but I don't know anyone who has had any issue using it.

The diaphragm has to be inserted every time you have intercourse -- with a dollop of spermacidal jelly -- the jelly has to be reapplied with a plunger-thing if you're going to have intercourse more than once -- and the whole thing has to stay in for two hours afterwards. I always tried to be very careful with handwashing and disinfecting of diaphragm and plunger-thing, but inevitably I'd get a UTI every other month or so.

It was a mess -- and I think I'm the only one among my cohort of friends who's ever used one (I'd had a severely bad reaction to OrthoNovum 777 which scared me off of the pill during a two-year relationship) -- when the mini-pill came out, I switched over and I've never looked back since. However, I'm intrigued by this ring and the new IUD.