cyoshimit's Blog

I don't like feeling so different. The world has it's standards about health care. Western meds is what the majoriy believe in. I don't know what I. Believe in I know that my mom believes in eastern meds and alternative meds and healing so I am swayd by that but at the same time I want to be part of the majority. How do I explain to someone that I am being treated holistically while they keep quetioning why I do it I and how I should get a second opinion. Idk why what others think affect me so much. Maybe because I don't hv that many friends that I agree and please people so there is no conflict and I can hv friends? I don't know. Should I get a second opinion? See a western dr. Iv trusted them before with my depression but they didn't help me just made me worse. How's about I just don't get ill anymore and never hv to see a f$#%ifng dr again about my health. I'm so affraid of them and I'm starting not to trust the holistic dr. My life is not what I thought it would be at this age. Every bday since seventeeen I always say " I can't believe I made it this far.". Prety dramatic huh? yea I know doggone pathetic. I'm so insecure. I feel like no one understands me. And I'm too affraid to put myself out there. I'm too different. Idont belong in this world.