Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
Patti said "I love me some Chuck Norris" :wub:

Patti can't help it. She is a woman after all, and Chuck Norris is...well, CHUCK NORRIS!

Open Original Shared Link

My Queen, I do thinketh thou hast maketh me blusheth :unsure::blink::ph34r:

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
Chuck Norris is NOT GAY!

The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie.

Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years. :ph34r:

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women. B)

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday." :o

Any more questions? ;)

Agreed. And yes, Patti is a woman. Slow Tuesday indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

The Queen humbly apologizes for making the King blusheth! :unsure::rolleyes:B)

BRING ON THE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
Chuck Norris is NOT GAY!

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women. B)

:lol::lol:

That's alright then !!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
:lol::lol:

That's alright then !!

It's like being in a drought....you go with the next best choice.... :rolleyes:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
It's like being in a drought....you go with the next best choice.... :rolleyes:

...ahem..."any port in a storm" :ph34r:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
...ahem..."any port in a storm" :ph34r:

LOL!!! You know, I was typing that reply while on the phone...I was thinking of something I heard on TV.

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author

This just in. My nomination for Open Original Shared Link. Absolutely DISGRACEFUL. :angry:

Send forth the Care Bears, the brain scan came back "negative".

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


tom Contributor
tom
Posted

Oh oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh :( I missed such a busy day. The flurry of posts might be better called a blizzard!

Quick Tip: In a blizzard, let the Yeti lead.

(Hard to say "let the Yeti lead" 3x fast w/out a "yet the .. . ." sneaking out)

Simply atrocious timing for my crappy day. Maybe crappiest since May. :( I *did* try to read some in the AM, but wasn't even capable of a smile, much less the giggles and guffaws those posts deserved. So I stopped, to save them for a better mood.

I was thinking it could've been caused by the organic tomatoes I tried the day before. Or the far-older-than-usual rice tortilla. But I think I have to go w/ breathing FREAKING BATTERY ACID FUMES!!!!!! :angry:

I bought a brand spankin new car battery the day before my last trip and had it in the trunk. (Or sort of a trunk, it's more of a hatchback but a partition thingy makes it not look hatchbacky. Airflow knows it's not really a trunk) (sorry Nikki, I can't write 'boot'. Even my skiboots aren't big enough for a car battery)

Anyway .. . . . . I go to put the new battery in and find that, while IT seems perfectly intact and unmolested, the cardboard box it was in has disintegrated in spots AND under that the carpeting has a completely bald area AND under that the particle board over the spare tyre is stained and partly eaten thru!! :o:angry:

HAD to at least drive for food - was away 12 days. :(

All the acid-soaked parts have been removed and today seems better so far .. . .. ..but a big GRRRRRRRRR for the timing of missing such a busy fun day!!!

King Richard posting more here than *I've* ever witnessed and I'm stuck unable to join in. :( Never imagined Chuck Norris as an untapped (to me) source of hilarity!! :lol:

OK then . . ..I should be packing but gotta try catching up too.

Happy Friday everyone!! :D

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
Quick Tip: In a blizzard, let the Yeti lead.

(Hard to say "let the Yeti lead" 3x fast w/out a "yet the .. . ." sneaking out)

How did you even discover this....?

(visions of Tom walking through the supermarket muttering "let the yeti lead" as mothers surreptitiously pull their children to safety)

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
How did you even discover this....?

(visions of Tom walking through the supermarket muttering "let the yeti lead" as mothers surreptitiously pull their children to safety)

Rainbow Brite---Love the avatar!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Oh, boy, you miss more than eight hours on here, and you're scrambling....There's so much to respond to. Mygawd, it's like a literal thread of my workdesk. Gotta keep on it!

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
Fraggle Rock too!

Schoolhouse Rock!!

conjunction junction . ... .what's my function .. . .

And you're ALL CERTIFIABLY INSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!

7 pages in ONE DAY?? :wacko:

Emily - LOL @ new av & I didn't even see the show! :lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

3 oh it's a magic number....yes it is....It's a magic number!

I have the School House Rock DVD's at home, something I want my future kids to be able to appreciate :)

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
How did you even discover this....?

(visions of Tom walking through the supermarket muttering "let the yeti lead" as mothers surreptitiously pull their children to safety)

:lol:

But it was one of the MOTHERS that started it!

I'm way back in the 'frozen exotics' section (hard to find if you don't know where to look btw) checking prices on emu breasts & tapir chops, when I hear this woman, apparently trying to remember a recipe, continue to repeat "baste the yeti meat"!

Ok ok the truth is I only said "let the yeti lead" in my HEAD and was unable to say it ONCE w/out "yet the . ." coming out instead. Hehehehe I expanded it to 3x cuz it seems too ridiculous to fail on 1st try. :lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
This just in. My nomination for Open Original Shared Link. Absolutely DISGRACEFUL. :angry:

Disgraceful is right :angry: Being in the area, this is all over our news both local and national. There are no words.....

Maybe crappiest since May. :(

OK then . . ..I should be packing but gotta try catching up too.

Sorry about the crappy day :( Stupid leaky car battery acid :angry:

I should be packing, too--this is my escape B)

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
3 oh it's a magic number....yes it is....It's a magic number!

I have the School House Rock DVD's at home, something I want my future kids to be able to appreciate :)

3 IS a Magic Number!!

One of my fav early 90s Bay Area bands - contemporaries of Green Day before *they* hit it big - named Helen Keller Plaid used to do "3 is a Magic Number" at shows!! :D

Then wasn't it the mid-90s when a celiac disease -OOPS! Compact Disc! - of remakes of Schoolhouse Rock came out, all done by big name bands?

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

'let the yeti lead' he muttered

'lest the b@strds best the steed'

'boasting bastions, crumbling creed'

'brethren,let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead!' he pleaded

'swiftest flight on furry feet!'

'flights of fancy fear our fleet!'

'fathers, let the yeti lead!'

'let the yeti lead' he sighed

'sorrows swim in snowy climes'

'sadness swiftly, surely climbs'

'mothers, let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead' he whispered

'morning comes with frightening speed'

'fields strewn with deadly wheat'

'lie in wait to snare the chymes'

'sillies, let the yeti lead'

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
'let the yeti lead' he muttered

'lest the b@strds best the steed'

'boasting bastions, crumbling creed'

'brethren,let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead!' he pleaded

'swiftest flight on furry feet!'

'flights of fancy fear our fleet!'

'fathers, let the yeti lead!'

'let the yeti lead' he sighed

'sorrows swim in snowy climes'

'sadness swiftly, surely climbs'

'mothers, let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead' he whispered

'morning comes with frightening speed'

'fields strewn with deadly wheat'

'lie in wait to snare the chymes'

'sillies, let the yeti lead'

But is the Yeti good with map and compass? :huh:

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

hmm, guess I should mention that yesterday was the first day in a week that I managed not to eat something 'bad' for me and so I'm in that curious state of having slept well last night after five days of 4-5 hours of sleep. Feel rested and yet I am completely exhausted, and hence, a bit loopy

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

Good morning sillies.......

alas, I have not much time for silliness today, have lunch and dinner out and also must mow lawns and such before the true rain hits.......so there should be about four entire fewer pages in today's entries. :ph34r::lol:

also am not feeling particularly silly.....alas, FULL BODY ACHE from running every day for the last two weeks in the orchard instead of walking......am falling apart. :( All of this in the futile attempt to lose 10 pounds (I"d even take five, for pete's sake)................... nearly impossible!!!!!!!!!! :angry:

that woman who BOUGHT ammo for her son :o ...............oh my gawd. Just look at her, sick in body and mind - - she is MY AGE and let herself become a psychotic blob, morphed into obesity from a pure gluten diet, no doubt. :angry: Psychotic, freaking IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot wait for her to receive the fate she deserves.............. in this life AND the hereafter. (remember I do transcribe the parole reports and have a modicum of knowledge of exactly what goes on in there. ;) she'll not do well)

OH! such deep thoughts for the silly thread! mea culpa! :huh:

but BTW I CAN say (and easily, I might add), "let the yeti lead" three times out loud!! :lol:

carry on sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
Feel rested and yet I am completely exhausted, and hence, a bit loopy

and quite poetic ta boot! :D

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

OMG Richard! an actual photo of the chubacabra (sp?)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am askeert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o

Jess - your poem - - just something you whipped up, all rested and refreshed? (and loopy)

:lol:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
hmm, guess I should mention that yesterday was the first day in a week that I managed not to eat something 'bad' for me and so I'm in that curious state of having slept well last night after five days of 4-5 hours of sleep. Feel rested and yet I am completely exhausted, and hence, a bit loopy

Well, Jess, this explains the sudden ability to construct such sophisticated, intricate, well-metred poetry. Excellent work! I will ask my MIL about whether or not these creatures are adequate leaders. One assumes they are solitary, so I'm gonna guess that no, one should NOT Let any Yeti Lead. Perhaps those who have had some orienteering or Boy Scout Jamborees in their past....

...Man, can you see a Yeti in full Boy scout uniform? Sash, necker and all?

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
Well, Jess, this explains the sudden ability to construct such sophisticated, intricate, well-metred poetry. Excellent work! I will ask my MIL about whether or not these creatures are adequate leaders. One assumes they are solitary, so I'm gonna guess that no, one should NOT Let any Yeti Lead. Perhaps those who have had some orienteering or Boy Scout Jamborees in their past....

...Man, can you see a Yeti in full Boy scout uniform? Sash, necker and all?

Sorry, we can't have the Boy Scouts and MJ in the same parade. :o

We'd be no better than the Uzi buying momma. (although we might get our photos on CNN :huh: )

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Boy you leave to have lunch and miss quite a bit....

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,342
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Setb1210
    Newest Member
    Setb1210
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.4k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • trents
      Gluten exposure when trying to conceive

      By trents · Posted

      My reaction to a gluten bolus exposure is similar to yours, with 2-3 hours of severe abdominal cramps and intractable emesis followed by several hours of diarrhea. I don't necessarily equate that one large exposure to gluten with significant intestinal lining damage, however. I think it's just a violent reaction to a what the body perceives to be a somewhat toxic substance that I am no longer tolerant of because I have quit exposing myself to it regularly. It's just the body purging itself of it rather than an expression of significant damage. Before diagnosis, when I was consuming gluten daily, I had little to no GI distress. I was, for the most part, a "silent celiac". The damage to my small bowel lining didn't happen all at once but was slow and insidious, accumulating over a period of years. The last time I got a big shot of gluten was about three years ago when I got my wife's wheat biscuits mixed up with my gluten-free ones. There was this acute reaction after about two hours of ingestion as I described above. I felt washed out for a few days and fully recovered within a week or so.  Now, I'm a 74-year-old male. So, I'm not worried about being pregnant. And I don't want to contradict your physicians advice. But I just don't think you have done significant damage to your small bowel lining by one episode of significant gluten ingestion. I just don't think it works that way.
    • Skydawg
      Gluten exposure when trying to conceive

      By Skydawg · Posted

      Wondering about some thoughts on how long to wait to try to get pregnant after a gluten exposure?  I have been diagnosed for 10 years and have followed the diet strictly. I have been cross contaminated before, but have never had a full on gluten exposure. I went to a restaurant recently, and the waiter messed up and gave me regular bread and told me it was gluten free. 2 hours later I was throwing up for the whole evening. I have never had that kind of reaction before as I have never had such a big exposure. My husband and I were planning to start trying to get pregnant this month. My dr did blood work to check for electrolytes and white blood cells, but did not do a full nutritional panel. Most of my GI symptoms have resolved in the past 2 weeks, but I am definitely still dealing with brain fog, fatigue and headaches. My dr has recommended I wait 3 months before I start to try to get pregnant.   I have read else where about how long it can take for the intestine to fully heal, and the impacts gluten exposure can have on pregnancy. I guess I am really wondering if anyone has had a similar experience? How long does it take to heal after 1 exposure like that, after following the diet so well for 10 years? Is 3 months an okay amount of time to wait? Is there anything I can do in the meantime to reduce my symptoms? 
    • ShadowLoom
      Gluten Free Cannabis Edibles

      By ShadowLoom · Posted

      I’ve used tinctures and made my own edibles with gluten-free ingredients to stay safe. Dispensary staff don’t always know about gluten, so I double-check labels or just make my own.
    • Scott Adams
      Damage after 13 years gluten free

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      It's great to hear that there are some good doctors out there, and this is an example of why having a formal diagnosis can definitely be helpful.
    • RMJ
      Damage after 13 years gluten free

      By RMJ · Posted

      Update: I have a wonderful new gastroenterologist. She wants to be sure there’s nothing more serious, like refractory celiac, going on. She ordered various tests including some micronutrient tests that no one has ever ordered before.  I’m deficient in folate and zinc and starting supplements for both. I’m so glad I decided to go to a new GI!
×
×
  • Create New...