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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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DingoGirl Enthusiast

<----- just a FRACTION of the wedding party.....

Oh and those Mike and Ike guys that Richard is holding hostage in his basement :ph34r:

How many Mikes and Ikes DOES Richard have in his basement? This could be problematic....but no, we won't invite Ashley OR Lance - UNLESS Lance decides to bring Sheryl Crow - THEN he can come. ;)

Amanda's honeymoon is going to be a blast!! I don't know if we'll be able to find a hot tub big enough--maybe a heated pool? :P

yes, heated pool! Hi Patti!

You're right - I don't think Ashley DOES share our humoUr - she always looks a bit vapid :huh:

Well...there's now one space available...Bob G.'s.... :(:(

:( Yes, 'tis sad.......but I think Wayne Newton is coming in his stead.

Good gawd, I've got to leave a note scrawled in sidewalk chalk asking Zombie to be my date!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o


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jerseyangel Proficient
You're right - I don't think Ashley DOES share our humoUr - she always looks a bit vapid :huh:

I'm SURE she'd turn up her nose at our raucous Celiac potty humor (humoUr).

Wayne Newton???????Really? He looks like he'd melt in a hot tub :lol:

elye Community Regular
I'm SURE she'd turn up her nose at our raucous Celiac potty humor (humoUr).

Wayne Newton???????Really? He looks like he'd melt in a hot tub :lol:

Gad, yes...and his hair might move... :lol:

elye Community Regular
Good gawd, I've got to leave a note scrawled in sidewalk chalk asking Zombie to be my date!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o

Actually, he could be the perfect date for a wedding....he'll be unable to catch the garter (a good thing, as he's likely not marriage material) because he'll be clutching his incision. I say chalk out that message, Susie! MJ has taught us that zombies can be winsome dancers, as well...

Daughter-of-TheLight Apprentice

OH-HEM-GEE!!! I EXIST!!! No, i've been dead in the bogs of SCHOOLWORK. They have consumed me and made me grow gills. *makes fish face. YOu know the one, where you purse your lips and make the fish expression?* And I am thouroughly sick of science, math, debate, and journalism. UGGGG!!! But OH WELLL!!! Hail our new queen Amanda! hail! hail! (Boy, I'm late...)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Actually, he could be the perfect date for a wedding....he'll be unable to catch the garter (a good thing, as he's likely not marriage material) because he'll be clutching his incision. I say chalk out that message, Susie! MJ has taught us that zombies can be winsome dancers, as well...

:lol: :lol: :lol: winsome dancer :lol: :lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Hi Everyone!!

The plans sound great :)

Time to get ready for the rehearsal. Talk to you soon.


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nikki-uk Enthusiast
Hi Everyone!!

The plans sound great :)

Time to get ready for the rehearsal. Talk to you soon.

...because of time zones an all I'm going to wish you all the best for tomorrow!!!!!!!

HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!!!! :wub::wub::wub:

jerseyangel Proficient
...because of time zones an all I'm going to wish you all the best for tomorrow!!!!!!!

HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!!!! :wub::wub::wub:

Me too, Amanda :D

Have a wonderful wedding day--I'll be thinking about you :)

Much happiness to you both.

tom Contributor

Mornin' everyone & Happy Amanda Day!! :)

May the Royal Wedding be beYOND mah-velous!!!!!! :):D:)

Ridgewalker Contributor

Wah-hoo!!! It's Amanda's big day! :D Wish we could be there for real!!!

Mtndog Collaborator

We're with you in spirit Amanda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Congratulations :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

elye Community Regular

Yeah, me too! Hope it's sunny and mild...Do we know exactly when the ceremony is?

DingoGirl Enthusiast

:)

dum-DUM-de-dummmmmmmmmmm..... (that's the wedding march song in case you didn't know)

HAPPY WEDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait to hear about it............yes, when IS the ceremony? and where? we need directions! she forgot to give us those details, how WILL we find our way????!!!!!!!!

:wub:

See you cats later! ;)

DingoGirl Enthusiast

:o

OMG sillies we have something to live for after our Queen's wedding festivities are over, and another place to send our parade......

tomorrow, sunday, our resident silly Bev

TURNS FORTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rolleyes:

Please mark your calendars for this important occasion in Silly Town. We will need to freshen the Yeti, clean the hair off our clothing and out of the hot tub, come up with suitable party snacks, beverages, outfits and dates, you may retain your dates from Amanda's wedding or you may pick antoher date should your wedding companion have proved him- or herself unsuitable, maybe vomited on you or danced embarassingly or some other unmentionable.

GET READY TO PAR-TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D

elye Community Regular

OMG.....My fellow Sexual Scorpio, turning forty!!

(Hmmmm....Could I be sensing an obvious party theme, here?) :o:lol::lol:

jerseyangel Proficient

Ooh.....good thing I checked in--I don't want to miss a MINUTE of Bev's party prep!!!!! :D

I was thinking about Amanda today while I was at Wegman's :lol: I wonder what time the reception was? They're probably there now. :)

DingoGirl Enthusiast

SATURDAY FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!! (should any of you have a break between reception and party prep!!)

:P

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have

forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any,"she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight." she replied.

"Oh Mrs. Jones, would you please comedown in front and tell us all how a person can live

ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

"I outlived the b%$@#es."

:lol::lol::lol:

CarlaB Enthusiast

Congratulations, Amanda!

Mtndog Collaborator
:o

OMG sillies we have something to live for after our Queen's wedding festivities are over, and another place to send our parade......

tomorrow, sunday, our resident silly Bev

TURNS FORTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:rolleyes:

Please mark your calendars for this important occasion in Silly Town. We will need to freshen the Yeti, clean the hair off our clothing and out of the hot tub, come up with suitable party snacks, beverages, outfits and dates, you may retain your dates from Amanda's wedding or you may pick antoher date should your wedding companion have proved him- or herself unsuitable, maybe vomited on you or danced embarassingly or some other unmentionable.

GET READY TO PAR-TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D

Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :ph34r:

I have a feeling THIS is going to be funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

Judyin Philly Enthusiast

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEV..................LORDY SHE'S 40.............. :lol:

CONGRATULATIONS AMANDA...........I HOPE THE DAY WAS PERFECT FOR YOU.

BETTER TAKE SOME WARM CLOTHES FOR THE SHORE.........WISH WE COULD HAVE MET YOU FOR DINNER..........WOULD HAVE BEEN SUCH FUN............

THERE WAS A WEDDING TODAY ON THE END OF OF POINT AND THEY WERE IN A HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE............SO NEAT............BOTH 'LADIES' VALES WERE BLOWING OFF IN THE WIND.

SEEMS I MISSED ALOT OF FUN ON THE TICKLE THREAD.................................

JUDY

Ridgewalker Contributor

Happy Birthday Bev! And woohoo Amanda is Mrs. Amanda now!!! :D

nikki-uk Enthusiast

OMG!!!....You should have heard the Yeti on the karaoke !!!! :lol::lol: (he has a 'monster' :lol: hangover today)

CONGRATULATIONS AMANDA!!!!!!

.....But don't put your glass down yet!!! ....further celebrations for our former Queen Bev

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEV!!!!! (IT'S A big ONE ;) )

PARTY ON PEOPLE !!!!!!!!! :D:D

elye Community Regular

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEV!!!

Think I'll stay in birthday red for the day, as it is a great, lively, and in many cultures, SEXUAL colour...

Along with green guy, we need a Party Chick emoticon...

"In my forties, I'm going to pay attention to something I'd almost lost track of: myself. I'll be moving forward, not only as someone's wife or mother, sister or daughter, writer or friend, but as the woman I've become somewhere along the way. In this decade, I intend to slow down and think and appreciate and learn. And even if I have no great new accomplishment to show for the next ten years, I know the process will be exhilarating."

Smart, anonymous 40 year-old woman

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Hi Everyone

I am now a married woman!!!!

Everything went very well. My gluten-free cake was amazing! Everyone took lots of pictures, of course I only took a few of me and the girls pre-ceremony. I will post as soon as I get more. I am updating my avatar to show my bridal party.

We spent the night at the Inn of the Dove which was a romantic little place outside of Harrisburg, it has spa's in the rooms. It was nice.

My dinner was also gluten-free and was great. The chef came out and talked to me just so I could feel more comfortable. I had stuffed shells.

I did well with my emotions and since my mom didnt cry in the church I was doing good there. I did lose it when my dad and I danced and he did too. I also lost it when I opened up my parents card this morning, and my mom wrote me this very nice letter about how she loved me since she saw me first open my eyes. *tears are forming* So I will spare any more details you get the point.

So we danced and had a great time. I wished you were all there :):)

Ps- Patti- it's funny, I got 2 gift cards for Wegmans at my wedding, talk about giving the gift that makes you smile :) Those are very nice :)

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    • marion wheaton
      Thanks for responding. I researched further and Lindt Lindor chocolate balls do contain barely malt powder which contains gluten. I was surprised at all of the conflicting information I found when I checked online.
    • trents
      @BlessedinBoston, it is possible that in Canada the product in question is formulated differently than in the USA or at least processed in in a facility that precludes cross contamination. I assume from your user name that you are in the USA. And it is also possible that the product meets the FDA requirement of not more than 20ppm of gluten but you are a super sensitive celiac for whom that standard is insufficient. 
    • BlessedinBoston
      No,Lindt is not gluten free no matter what they say on their website. I found out the hard way when I was newly diagnosed in 2000. At that time the Lindt truffles were just becoming popular and were only sold in small specialty shops at the mall. You couldn't buy them in any stores like today and I was obsessed with them 😁. Took me a while to get around to checking them and was heartbroken when I saw they were absolutely not gluten free 😔. Felt the same when I realized Twizzlers weren't either. Took me a while to get my diet on order after being diagnosed. I was diagnosed with small bowel non Hodgkins lymphoma at the same time. So it was a very stressful time to say the least. Hope this helps 😁.
    • knitty kitty
      @Jmartes71, I understand your frustration and anger.  I've been in a similar situation where no doctor took me seriously, accused me of making things up, and eventually sent me home to suffer alone.   My doctors did not recognize nutritional deficiencies.  Doctors are trained in medical learning institutions that are funded by pharmaceutical companies.  They are taught which medications cover up which symptoms.  Doctors are required to take twenty  hours of nutritional education in seven years of medical training.  (They can earn nine hours in Nutrition by taking a three day weekend seminar.)  They are taught nutritional deficiencies are passe' and don't happen in our well fed Western society any more.  In Celiac Disease, the autoimmune response and inflammation affects the absorption of ALL the essential vitamins and minerals.  Correcting nutritional deficiencies caused by malabsorption is essential!  I begged my doctor to check my Vitamin D level, which he did only after making sure my insurance would cover it.  When my Vitamin D came back extremely low, my doctor was very surprised, but refused to test for further nutritional deficiencies because he "couldn't make money prescribing vitamins.". I believe it was beyond his knowledge, so he blamed me for making stuff up, and stormed out of the exam room.  I had studied Nutrition before earning a degree in Microbiology.  I switched because I was curious what vitamins from our food were doing in our bodies.  Vitamins are substances that our bodies cannot manufacture, so we must ingest them every day.  Without them, our bodies cannot manufacture life sustaining enzymes and we sicken and die.   At home alone, I could feel myself dying.  It's an unnerving feeling, to say the least, and, so, with nothing left to lose, I relied in my education in nutrition.  My symptoms of Thiamine deficiency were the worst, so I began taking high dose Thiamine.  I had health improvement within an hour.  It was magical.  I continued taking high dose thiamine with a B Complex, magnesium. and other essential nutrients.  The health improvements continued for months.  High doses of thiamine are required to correct a thiamine deficiency because thiamine affects every cell and mitochondria in our bodies.    A twenty percent increase in dietary thiamine causes an eighty percent increase in brain function.  The cerebellum of the brain is most affected.  The cerebellum controls things we don't have to consciously have to think about, like digestion, balance, breathing, blood pressure, heart rate, hormone regulation, and many more.  Thiamine is absorbed from the digestive tract and sent to the most important organs like the brain and the heart.  This leaves the digestive tract depleted of Thiamine and symptoms of Gastrointestinal Beriberi, a thiamine deficiency localized in the digestive system, begin to appear.  Symptoms of Gastrointestinal Beriberi include anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, headaches, Gerd, acid reflux, gas, slow stomach emptying, gastroparesis, bloating, diarrhea and/or constipation, incontinence, abdominal pain, IBS,  SIBO, POTS, high blood pressure, heart rate changes like tachycardia, difficulty swallowing, Barrett's Esophagus, peripheral neuropathy, and more. Doctors are only taught about thiamine deficiency in alcoholism and look for the classic triad of symptoms (changes in gait, mental function, and nystagmus) but fail to realize that gastrointestinal symptoms can precede these symptoms by months.  All three classic triad of symptoms only appear in fifteen percent of patients, with most patients being diagnosed with thiamine deficiency post mortem.  I had all three but swore I didn't drink, so I was dismissed as "crazy" and sent home to die basically.   Yes, I understand how frustrating no answers from doctors can be.  I took OTC Thiamine Hydrochloride, and later thiamine in the forms TTFD (tetrahydrofurfuryl disulfide) and Benfotiamine to correct my thiamine deficiency.  I also took magnesium, needed by thiamine to make those life sustaining enzymes.  Thiamine interacts with each of the other B vitamins, so the other B vitamins must be supplemented as well.  Thiamine is safe and nontoxic even in high doses.   A doctor can administer high dose thiamine by IV along with the other B vitamins.  Again, Thiamine is safe and nontoxic even in high doses.  Thiamine should be given if only to rule Gastrointestinal Beriberi out as a cause of your symptoms.  If no improvement, no harm is done. Share the following link with your doctors.  Section Three is especially informative.  They need to be expand their knowledge about Thiamine and nutrition in Celiac Disease.  Ask for an Erythrocyte Transketolace Activity test for thiamine deficiency.  This test is more reliable than a blood test. Thiamine, gastrointestinal beriberi and acetylcholine signaling.  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12014454/ Best wishes!
    • Jmartes71
      I have been diagnosed with celiac in 1994, in remission not eating wheat and other foods not to consume  my household eats wheat.I have diagnosed sibo, hernia ibs, high blood pressure, menopause, chronic fatigue just to name a few oh yes and Barrett's esophagus which i forgot, I currently have bumps in back of my throat, one Dr stated we all have bumps in the back of our throat.Im in pain.Standford specialist really dismissed me and now im really in limbo and trying to get properly cared for.I found a new gi and new pcp but its still a mess and medical is making it look like im a disability chaser when Im actively not well I look and feel horrible and its adding anxiety and depression more so.Im angery my condition is affecting me and its being down played 
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