Eating Out For The First Time This Weekend..help!

[emilyalie]

Hi Everyone! This is my first post, I'm so glad I found this website. I was diagnosed a few months ago after a hellish start to my senior year in college, I feel like I've been sick every single day. It's been so miserable and I just want to get better, since I'm moving across the country in July to start law school! My friends have been fairly supportive, but I live with my boyfriend (he's older - 27), we've been together for 5 years and he's trying to be supportive but he's still got this college, frat boy mentality. He LOVES pizza, bread, pasta, you name it, and is having a hard time trying my gluten free meals.

Also, it's my graduation weekend coming up starting this Friday. My whole family is coming into town and we're going out for dinner twice. The first place has gluten free items listed on their menu so that's fine, but the other doesn't, but I called and they said the chef could make something gluten free for me. Any ideas on how to navigate this situation? There will be 12 people at the table and I just don't want to make a scene. I haven't eaten out since I was diagnosed, and I'm soo sensitive to gluten so I'm scared to get sick, since I'm walking in the ceremony on Sunday afternoon! I'm so nervous about the whole weekend! Does anyone have any ideas for me? This is unchartered territory and I just need something to calm my nerves a bit. Thanks!

[lovegrov]

If the restaurant is saying they can make something gluten-free for you, take them at their word. If you have a reasonable, supportive family, it's NOT "making a scene" to make sure you get something that won't make you sick. Call again the day before you go and ask who you should talk to, or is there somebody you can talk to before you arrive? Call during a down time, NOT during their busiest time. Order last so that the last thing the waiter hears is your gluten-free needs. Do not be embarrassed. This is your big day -- graduation.

I know this is hard at first, but, like it or not, this is how the rest of your life will be. You HAVE to make your needs known when you go out, but in a gentle, polite way. A demanding attitude turns people off immediately. I've been doing it for 8 years now, and I've really had very, very few negative experiences as far as cooperation.

Of course, you're going out during a very, very busy time for restaurants, and no matter how cooperative or careful they are, cross contamination is a possibility. There's not much you can do about that.

As for the boyfriend, I guess you're aware that only a very special few would willingly quit all gluten. BUT, he should be willing to monitor where he spreads the gluten and clean up. As for gluten-free meals, go for the stuff that is naturally gluten-free instead of trying to get him to eat your gluten-free substitutes. There are so, so many things that don't need gluten and taste so good.

richard

[emilyalie]

If the restaurant is saying they can make something gluten-free for you, take them at their word. If you have a reasonable, supportive family, it's NOT "making a scene" to make sure you get something that won't make you sick. Call again the day before you go and ask who you should talk to, or is there somebody you can talk to before you arrive? Call during a down time, NOT during their busiest time. Order last so that the last thing the waiter hears is your gluten-free needs. Do not be embarrassed. This is your big day -- graduation.

I know this is hard at first, but, like it or not, this is how the rest of your life will be. You HAVE to make your needs known when you go out, but in a gentle, polite way. A demanding attitude turns people off immediately. I've been doing it for 8 years now, and I've really had very, very few negative experiences as far as cooperation.

Of course, you're going out during a very, very busy time for restaurants, and no matter how cooperative or careful they are, cross contamination is a possibility. There's not much you can do about that.

As for the boyfriend, I guess you're aware that only a very special few would willingly quit all gluten. BUT, he should be willing to monitor where he spreads the gluten and clean up. As for gluten-free meals, go for the stuff that is naturally gluten-free instead of trying to get him to eat your gluten-free substitutes. There are so, so many things that don't need gluten and taste so good.

richard

Thanks, Richard. This was very helpful. He is willing to try new things, but part of me wishes he would go all gluten free too, but I know that's expecting too much. This is very new for both of us, so hopefully it will get better. As far as the family goes, they are supportive, but I have an old school Italian grandmother that will be there, who will say "you can't eat WHAT?!" It should be interesting to explain it to her with her English skills, but I know she'll be supportive. It's just so new for everyone that I'm trying to navigate the best I can. The most important thing is - - I haven't felt sick practically since I gave up gluten! Finally, I can get back to my life! Thanks again for the help.

[strawberrynin]

As a relative newbie myself, I've tried to stay with whole meats and baked potatoes when I go out. You can write down and slip a piece of paper to a server requesting a freshly cleaned grill for 'allergy' purposes. Most restaurants have no issue doing a quick clean, even during a busy time, for allergies otherwise they worry about liability. What I mean by whole meats...ask for steak or chicken without sauces or breading. Even a chain, such as Applebee's, will do this for you. Good luck!