Why Don'T People Understand?

[mommaofthreebeans]

My youngest is allergic to wheat

Ive had digestive issues all my life,

my son got a biopsy done and has damaged villi

my daughter complains "it hurts right here" after meals like spaghetti and pizza.

I try to explain that , well the baby cant eat this stuff so none of us are going to. I was just talking to her about this great cookbook i found ( or at least i hope it is good) with recipes for things like flour tortillas and cookies and pasta and whatnot. My friend is sitting her trying to explain that instead of feeding the baby substitutes for things I should teach him to just not eat those kind of things because as of right now he has no expectations.

I try to explain that, okay he has no expectations as of now, but if he sees a sibling eating a cookie, he is going to want a cookie, just because he cant have it, and has never had it, doesnt mean that he should never have it.

I look at it as hey, he doesnt have anything to compare the "substitute" with, so he isnt going to be dissapointed if it isnt exactly like its wheat counterpart.

Why don't people understand any of this?

[c12]

I get that all the time. I don't have kids, but my friends make "helpful" suggestions for me all the time and it's pretty frustrating.

You just have to keep it in perspective though. People don't mean to be insensitive. I think it's more that people know that restrictive food issues like this can be a struggle, and they want to do something helpful to alleviate the stress, so they make suggestions that they think will help. A lot of the time the suggestions aren't fully thought out or just won't work, which I agree can be totally frustrating, but they mean well. At least that's what I tell myself.

[ciavyn]

This is important in your life...but not everyone is going to feel that way. It's frustrating, but that is just how it is. I used to be in sales, and I would be beyond frustrated when someone would stand me up for an appointment, even after I confirmed it with them the day before. The reality is: it just isn't a priority for them.

The good news is: it is for you, and you are doing it. Don't worry that others don't get it. They won't, and that's okay. You do, and you are making the right decisions for your family.

But a warning: eventually, your little one is going to see his friends eat other foods, and he's going to want them. However, keeping those foods out of the house and eliminating any cross-contamination makes sense to me, so keep at it. I think the real foods we eat and prepare taste 100% better anyway!

[c12]

But a warning: eventually, your little one is going to see his friends eat other foods, and he's going to want them.

Yes, I think this will be especially true for the siblings. It's one thing to follow the rules ("if the baby can't eat it, none of us will") at home, but it's a different story at parties when all the other kids are eating birthday cake and at school pizza parties. Kids don't like to be left out, and I think it would seem especially unfair to them when their lifestyle is based on someone else's allergy.

I don't know, it's a tough call. When I was diagnosed, I didn't ask or expect anyone else in my family to change their diets, but then again, I was also older and was able to cope with seeing other people eating things that I can't. I think a lot of it will work itself out with time and everyone will fall into a system they feel comfortable with.

Just tackle it one day at a time.

[Pattymom]

I have 4 kids, 3 need to be off gluten, our house is gluten free. My youngest was gluten free her first two years after being a screaming infant for the 6 weeks until we worked it out. anyway, we do make cookies, and crackers, and lots of gluten free foods- I try not to think of them as substitutes, but just as food. Doesn't everyone deserve a cookie now and then? You are right that it easier in that my youngest likes all the gluten free stuff b/c she doesnt' know what she is missing. My 12 year old and I do know, and thus miss donuts and real oreos. My youngest is 5, and is used to asking if things are gluten free when when we are out, and knows not to eat something without checking, it's just how it always has been. I do tend to take gluten free offering along when go out where I knwo there will be gluten snacks. Yes, when she was a toddler she wanted what everyone had, but I always gave her, her own kind, and it worked out well.

Lots of people don't understand, some people do. What gets me is when people who are eating the cake, look at me/us and apologize, especially if they say, "sorry, this is so good, sorry you can't have any" Yeah, OK, that makes me feel better, when in reality I don't feel bad anymore, in fact I feel much better than when I ate gluten and no cake is worth feeling lousy again.

Just keep trusting your Mommy instincts and providing for your children. If you they want cookies, go for it.

Patty