Self Diagnosed Denial

[ndw3363]

After much internet research, I decided to go gluten-free about a month ago. I'm very sure that I have DH (biopsy came back "inconclusive", but she took it from the wrong spot) and my gasto sypmtoms were never severe. However, since going gluten-free, my digestive system has never been happier which tells me I was right. My brain fog is starting to lift and I have a bit more energy (have a hard time getting up in the morning, but I think that's because I'm finally sleeping well and I don't want it to end).

My problem now is that since I'm feeling sooo much better, that annoying voice in the back of my head is telling me it was all made up and that I don't have to live gluten-free for life. Without an acutual diagnosis, my dumb head just wants to believe it's all temporary. I know that it's not, but it's hard to get past this "denial" period. I also know that in order to get a firm diagnosis, the tests have to be run while still consuming gluten. There is no way I want to go through the withdrawal again - or put something toxic in my system just to get the "official" diagnosis. All I really want to do is throw myself on the floor and have a 5 year old temper tantrum

[ravenwoodglass]

All I really want to do is throw myself on the floor and have a 5 year old temper tantrum

Go ahead and stomp around a bit and scream into a pillow, unless you live in the country and have no neighbors then you can drop the pillow.

If you are like most of us you will be accidentally glutened in the future and you may find that is enough impetous to remain gluten free. As you said the only thing you can do to get that 'firm diagnosis' is to resicken yourself and even then you may have a false negative. Your not the only one to have those feelings and you will get through them.

[koolsharkz]

First of all, congratulations! It's great that you are feeling so much better

I'm the same exact way, the second I discontinue eating gluten things get so much better, gastrointestinally and neurologically. But I still wonder if my brain is tricking me sometimes. Do I feel better not eating gluten because I expect to feel better? I don't know, but it bothers me all the time. I've been trying to reframe it a bit in my mind... instead of looking at it as a medical problem (although I acknowledge that it most certainly is one), I look at it as something my body just doesn't like. Just like I hate the taste of capers, my body hates the "taste" of gluten. And since I don't eat food I don't like, it would be unfair to force my body to eat the foods it doesn't like... so I have to focus on finding foods we both like! Thinking of it like that helped me feel a lot better about the impossibility of any diagnosis (because it would be impossible for any blood test to tell me what my body really likes, right?). Maybe it could help you too

Best of luck, I hope you continue to feel wonderful!

-Emily

[ndw3363]

Thanks Emily - that's a really great way of thinking of it! I hate bananas so I don't eat them - but I'm sure my body would love one. My system hates real pizza, so I guess I'll have to listen.

I'll just have a glass of wine to make it all better!! :-)