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Dating

steadiedwaters

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steadiedwaters Newbie
steadiedwaters
Posted

I don't know about the rest of you, but eating out when you're dating someone knew is not fun! This guy I went out with a few times loves to order dessert--which is usually chocolate cake. I feel so bad not eating it--almost as though I'm being rude. I still haven't told him that I avoid wheat and gluten. I don't want him to think that I'm strange or that it's all in my head--my own family don't believe me, but my symptoms are very real...

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frenchiemama Collaborator
frenchiemama
Posted

Is this a guy that you are interested in? If so, I would just tell him. Imagine if you guys ended up in a relationship and he found out that you were hiding something from him, wouldn't that be kind of weird? It's not like you have to go around telling everyone your complete medical history, but if you like this guy there is no reason to be afraid. Worse case scenario, he acts like an ass and you don't waste any more time with him. My bet is that he will be understanding.

beazly Newbie
beazly
Posted

about 4 years ago i was with a guy who didn't believe that i had celiac (he said it was in my head and that my mother brainwashed me into believing i was sick so she could control me) he even went so far as to purposely prepare food with gluten in them. my point is that he was not right for me. no matter what i would have done/said he wouldn't have understood.

now i am with a person who is understanding and supportive. he tries to come up with new foods and dishes for us to eat together and has no problem eating my gluten-free pasta even though he was raised on authentic italian cuisine.

my point? tell him. if he doesn't understand then that is his problem, not yours. i've been gluten free for over 20 years (i found out very young) and generally people don't get offended, they are just constantly astonished and curious

KaitiUSA Enthusiast
KaitiUSA
Posted

If he is really a guy worth pursuing it will not be a big deal. So what if you can't have certain food...that should not make a difference in a relationship. If he doesn't understand then you know he is not for you. You should really tell him though.

ianm Apprentice
ianm
Posted

I would tell him right away and if doesn't get it or like it kick him to the curb right then and there. I was married to someone who didn't get it and you do not want to be involved with someone like that.

printmaker81 Rookie
printmaker81
Posted

Steadiedwaters~

I can identify with your fear of making a bad first impression. The last thing I want anyone to think of me as is the wierd sick girl (especially since I am still in the healing phase). I'm about to move to a school where I will share a kitchen with 14 other people, so it's a must to say something early. It's not fun, but it's one of those things we have to do, swallow our fear and just let it out. In reality, it's a bigger deal for us because we feel singled out. If you had an allergy to nuts, and he offered you carrot cake, wouldn't you just tell him? It is uncomfortable because I feel like I have to explain myself because so few people know what Celiac is, and then once I've gone through my explanation I feel like I've made a big deal about it. It's especially important to tell him if you're going to be eating out a lot. Wouldn't you rather him think you're being careful rather than being picky? Good luck.

Lmckenney Newbie
Lmckenney
Posted
I don't know about the rest of you, but eating out when you're dating someone knew is not fun! This guy I went out with a few times loves to order dessert--which is usually chocolate cake. I feel so bad not eating it--almost as though I'm being rude. I still haven't told him that I avoid wheat and gluten. I don't want him to think that I'm strange or that it's all in my head--my own family don't believe me, but my symptoms are very real...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

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Misa Rookie
Misa
Posted

I'm single and facing the same issue as you. Going gluten-free has given me alot more energy and I'm finally taking an interest in guys again :wub: and of course thinking of how to approach the gluten subject while dating.

I figure my attitude towards the disease will have a direct affect on how others react (ok, some people just are who they are ;) ). If I don't make a huge deal out of if, I'm hoping the guy I'm dating won't either. Naturally you wanto give a good impression....flaws are saved for later lol, so I thought I'd give it a mention after kindly telling the waiter to leave out such and such foods from the meal (which seems to be the norm). And swiftly move on to another topic. This is instead of saying "I feel I need to tell you that I have celiac disease......" I don't think celiac disease will make any difference to a guy if he's really into you. Also, I'm thinking if you portray (even if it might not be the case) that it doesn't bother you (you're getting on with your life) and you're fully in control of the situation, he'll be fine and relaxed about it too......or so he should be :D

Misa

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