Lemonade's Blog

Yesterday I had an app with the Gastro. Dr. He review all my blood work and other test and said they were normal, accept for a reflux present in the upper GI test. He told me I didnt look "sick" which made me feel confused and frusterated because i am "sick". I was weigthed again yesterday and weighed 94.5 lbs. I has some more energy in the morning,m although as the day preceded, i felt sicker and my enrgy ebcame less and less. I have a schedualed Upper GI biopsy tommorow to test for celiac and possibly Crohns disease. I hope and I pray that they find something. I hate feeling this way. I am so scared, that this is gonna be my life. Iam terrified of not getting better. I am frusterated with people thinking that I am anorexic. Becasue I am not. I still struggle with food and surely this problem with food making me feel ill and my stomach and body always feeling sick, doesnt help me close the last gap in my recovery of anorexia, once and for all. I am nervous about the procedure tommorow, i have to be put on General aneststia, i am not happy about that ebcause, i get scared that i wont wake up. Today I feel like complete crap run over by a crap truck. I feel like i have the flu. I am achey, light headed, i have a headache, I was clammy and sweaty at the same time, and i feel emotionally drained and Iam overall fatigued. I am also crampy and uncomfortable I had some toast with almond butter this morning and my stomch feels in knots and achey and bloated. I had a BM which was slightly greenish, it was kinda mucousy and slimy too. I didnt go at all yesterday. I am sick of this Bullsh*t.