The next acceptance battle

[Galixie]

I might hold the record for being in denial the longest. After five years I'm just now coming to the realization that gluten is a problem for me after all. As difficult as it has been for me personally to reach a point of acceptance, now I find that I will have to persuade my friends.

They mean well and they just want me to retain some skepticism. I get that. But I feel like I've already fought a battle with myself (and lost) and that I shouldn't be obligated to convince anyone else of my need to be gluten free. On the other hand, I would like them to understand and accept that I am making the healthiest choice I can for my body.

Naming my gluten issue has been a challenge for me. I feel like the perception in the general population of the term 'gluten intolerant' is that it is less serious than celiac and that corners can be cut. But I've also been told repeatedly that I don't have celiac so I feel like I can't use that term. I think I feel more comfortable using the term 'gluten ataxia' since it seems to get to the heart of my problem, even if nobody knows what it is. Using that description will also remind me that I really can't become lax about cross contamination since the damage I'd be doing to myself would likely be permanent.

I can sort of understand where my friends are coming from in their resistance. One of them bakes and it means I can't taste-test her creations anymore. Others have a tendency to hold social gatherings at restaurants and they'd find it inconvenient to accommodate my need to eat either before or after their get together when the restaurant they've chosen doesn't have anything that is safe for me. It also means that I can't just spontaneously go out to eat somewhere with any of them (and none of us are good at pre-planning). Still others just want there to be more solid science to back up my claim. I understand all of this. I don't know how to make it easier for any of them. Is there anything I can do?

On top of all of that, I still have a lot to learn about navigating gluten free as a permanent lifestyle. And, at some point, I will need to grieve a bit...

[bartfull]

For scientific evidence show them this: Open Original Shared Link

And how is it inconveniencing them if you eat before you go? Have a beverage and socialize because their company is what matters, not what everybody is or isn't eating. And for spontaneous get togethers, keep food like Lara bars, bags of nuts, or the like in your purse at all times. Even hard boiled eggs if you have an idea that it might happen, or a sandwich.

Yes, you do need to grieve. We all did. But then remember that if we can do it, you can too. And the longer you are gluten-free the easier it will get for you, for your friends, and for your emotions.

(((((HUGS)))))

[squirmingitch]

Be sure to read the Newbie 101 in the Coping section. That will help you learn all the rules & navigate gluten-free as a permanent lifestyle. BTW, you can't be there when your friend who loves to bake is mixing up her creations. Flour all in the air for you to breathe. What goes in your nose goes down your throat to your tummy.

[Galixie]

Thank you for reminding me about the airborne flour issue. I'm not usually at her house when she's baking. When I mentioned it to her she had a response that made me laugh:

"Yeah I'm sure I'm covered in a fine layer of gluten at all times, but as long as you don't lick me you're probably safe."

[squirmingitch]

Well that particular friend certainly has a good attitude. Made me laugh too.  One needs friends that make us laugh. 

[Jenny0409]

This post in itself made me feel a bit better. I felt really silly for feeling like I needed to grieve this. I feel like I'm still slightly in denile. I spend on average an hour a day trying to find an explanation to why my blood tests could be wrong in showing that I'm likely a Celiac. (Declining the endoscopy for now due to financials. Docs are pretty sure I am a Celiac based on blood and history and have instructed me to live as though I am) I don't want this and as I'm sure no one does. My husband says it bothers me so much because it's out of my control (I am known enjoy control over my life and circumstances  ). I think he's right! 

[bartfull]

Ah but that's the beauty of having celiac! You ARE the one in control of your diet, and therefore of your health. If you had cancer or even a virus, you would not be in control and even your doctor might not be in control. With celiac, if we are careful we can control every thing that goes in our mouths and if we do that we are completely in charge of our own health.

[squirmingitch]

Truer words were never spoken. 

[Jenny0409]

That's an excellent way to view these circumstance and also allows me to fuel my inner control freak! HAHAHA

I like it! Thanks for that!