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Family Not Understanding/Supportive

zenjess1980

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zenjess1980 Contributor
zenjess1980
Posted

My family doesn't get it. Really don't know why they would. Even being a diabetic, they will still make foods I really can't eat [and they are well aware.] It's frustrating because it contributes to me feeling like it -and my health- is not all that important. My family isn't the most supportive in general, but when it comes to food that's pretty significant and something that requires not only coping but action steps. 

Any advice or personal experiences? 

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Darren Apprentice
Darren
Posted

It ain't easy that's for sure!  They way I look at is that non one truly gets it unless they have celiac and have spent the required time researching to understand it. We can't expect others to get it, kinda like a cancer survivor can't expect someone who's never had cancer to get it.  The good thing is that your family generally sounds supportive. Really you just need to continue to be in full control of what you eat and drink at all times regardless of what others know or don't know. If you don't feel comfortable eating something, dont. Eat something else regardless of how the family feels about it.  My wife is supportive but I constantly observe what she is doing in the kitchen and sometimes it drives her crazy, but she knows I have to be careful.  It's tough for family because they generally want to do the right thing but don't have all the knowledge. And even if they do we still worry and second guess them which is tough for them.  What's important is that you take care of yourself, be patient with others and embrace all the great things in life that we have! You hang in there and take care of yourself and you'll be just fine...

nmlove Contributor
nmlove
Posted

I'm sorry! When you find a person who tries and gets it, you will feel even more appreciative. 

Even with three kids with celiac - because people seem more concerned when one is a child rather than an adult - it was a huge learning curve. Even now, over six years later, I trust three people to feed my children: my mom (who later finally tested and was positive for celiac), my sister in law, and a friend who's dealt with allergies and actually talks sense when we discuss celiac and gluten. 

It is funny because I thought I was doing a good job as mom keeping items gluten free and I am sure I was based on healing and tests after, but when I became positive my level of awareness went even higher. I was upset for a bit that I had failed my kids before. Anyway... All this to say that you're the one who lives with it. That stinks at times but it is what it is.

Keep educating but don't waste energy beating a dead horse. If they don't seem truly invested in learning, bring your own food, offer to cook or bring something. Try to find a common ground. Ask to eat first if it's a family smorgasbord. Or push your way first. Not sure what kind of family you have. I have two family members who are extremely rude and go first, not even letting little hungry kids go first! I'm at the point where I do most of the hosting now (have the space and my in-laws are older) so plan meals that are either totally gluten free or fairly easy to keep cross contamination to a minimum. 

Hope this helps a bit. Good luck! 

mbr22m Rookie
mbr22m
Posted

Hi zengess, I feel your pain.. my family doesn't get it either.  My husband is very supportive though,  so that helps a lot. I volunteer to host all holiday dinners if possible so I know the food is safe.  If I  go to someone else's house,  I bring my own food and serve myself first, or eat beforehand and bring snacks.  Be sure to bring all your own condiments as well, such as butter, mayo, etc, and don't share.  Ignore the eye rolls and looks.. you learn not to care what anyone thinks after a while. I try and make jokes to lighten the mood (i.e. if you put your contaminated knife in my butter  I WILL blow up your bathroom:-D),  then vent to my husband afterwards.. lol. 

  • 1 month later...
zenjess1980 Contributor
zenjess1980
Posted
  • Author

Thank you everyone. I'm sorry other people struggle with this too!

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