Restaurants And Parties

[sandree]

Hi Everybody,

I have been on a gluten free/casein free diet for about 5 weeks now. I am still trying to get the hang of this. I went out to eat with a friend and found myself half way through my salad before I realized that I was eating croutons. Have not been feeling too good since then and it was about 4 days ago. I think the rest of the meal was OK...grilled pork chops, oil and vinegar for salad dressing and steamed vegetables and apple sauce.

Does anyone have suggestions of what to order when out to dinner? Is it better to ask for meat to be grilled or broiled? I live in an area that is not very diet conscious...even a vegetarian diet would be considered odd around here (I live in PA Dutch country ). When I have tried to talk to a waitress about my diet, they always look a bit blank and then say they understand but I know they really don't have a clue.

Tonight, my husband's daughter is having a Christmas party. I just realized I have to negotiate this too. She has a side business baking cakes and pastries...sheesh! I would at least like to be able to walk around with something to drink (I don't drink alcohol). Maybe a soda would be OK? She will probably have a veggie tray and maybe some fruit. This same daughter made me a flourless chocolate cake for my birthday last week and I ate it but kept wondering if it was really OK.

I think I am having trouble with feeling "weird" because I have these limitations that no one really quite understands and having to stand up for myself...which has always been a challenge for me. As far as I know, I am gluten sensitive and not celiac but I have definitely had a bad reaction when "glutened" and I am determined to stick to this strictly because I have been feeling much better...when not glutened.

Thanks for listening!

Sandy

[missy'smom]

Sandy,

Hi, I'm fairly new at this too. It's challenging for me to stand up for myself too. I'm sure others will chime in with great advice. There are many here who are very well versed. As for me, I was invited to a Christmas party last weeked. I wasn't up to figuring out how to make a new dish so I purchased a fresh salsa with mixed bell peppers from Whole Foods(realize you may not have one there). I've had it before and know it to be safe. Then I added some fresh crab meat( got legs and scraped out the meat ourselves and it was cheaper than lump), put it in my own dish and brought some tortilla chips. It was one of the first dishes to be eaten up. I had that and fresh fruit and veg. and fit right in. I'm not a soda drinker so can't speak to that but what about bringing a nice seasonal fruit juce like cranberry? or blueberry? If others are drinking wine it'll blend in.

[zansu]

Take a deep breath. Let it out. OK. You will get the hang of this but it will take awhile. The better you are at knowing the less you have to rely on others, and those who don't have celiac will probably never completely get it (with the possible exceptions of parents and spouses (I'm really not holding out hope for my spouse, but some on here seem really good)). Your health is yours to control.

I went to a party last night and had tea. I ate before I went. I don't make a big deal about it, but I answer questions when asked. Ask your step daughter to set aside some of the veggies and/or fruit so they don't get crumbed before you get to them. Take some gluten-free stuff with you if you feel you need to be nibbling. Most soft drinks are fine. Above all, DO NOT let celiac isolate you from family and friends. Mine have gotten used to the odd things I do like moving my glass off to the side - well away from their flying bread crumbs.

BTW, the flourless cake may very well have been gluten-free. hidden sources would be a chocolate that had Malt flavoring or if the pan was greased and floured (although you can use cornstarch for that).

As for eating out, until you get the hang of it, go for whole foods prepared simply. A chunk of any meat just grilled or broiled with either no seasonings or just salt and pepper, and steamed veggies. Be careful of buttered veggies in restaurants, a lot of them have stuff mixed in the butter they put on veggies and that can have wheat starch in it. Baked potatoes are good, because you can get those sealed from the manufacturer Clearly but without being b*tchy, ask for what you want and tell them you're allergic to wheat, bread, flour. They will key on the word "allergic" and pay attention. Also, the places that cook from scratch are less dangerous than the places where everything is processed and comes to them from distributors (these are also the places that tend to have teenage "cooks" instead of "chefs" who are more likely to know ingredients). on a side note: You should have seen the finance department when I told them I HAVE to eat at the more expensive "from scratch" restaurants so that I will be in a condition to go to the client site the next day...

Assertiveness is defined as clearly stating what you need (or want). There is nothing wrong with that. People _can't_ help you if they don't have information. Getting in their face and pushing is agressive, we're not suggesting that. Letting your health be damaged becasue you didn't speak up is passive and dangerous. Go ahead and start with "I know it can be a pain but, I really must be sure that .... or I will get really sick." That usually makes them an ally, most people want to help.

Good Luck!

[tarnalberry]

It's tough, but this condition forces us to hone the skill of protecting ourselves when everyone around us wants to do us harm (even if they don't actually *intend* harm and are just clueless).

If you can't determine what is gluten free and what isn't, you'll need to eat ahead or bring something with you. Other's opinions should *not* matter in this one, because they are not the ones who would get sick. Heh... it's like a medical exemption from having to run the mile in elementary school.

[sandree]

Thanks so much for the pep talk. I went to the party and enjoyed myself. Ate beforehand so I wasn't tempted at all by all the food. It is actually really nice to go to a party and come home without that "bloated, feel lousy" feeling that I am used to. This is a really interesting journey and I am experiencing changes in much more than just the physical realm.

Sandy

[kbtoyssni]

It takes a while to get the mindset of not eating anything you haven't done a full inspection on first. When I was first diagnosed I was really worried that I'd accidently pick something up off the counter and eat it and it would contain gluten. Because I used to eat random stuff all the time. Now I don't put anything in my mouth unless I've done the full analysis of ingredients. And if I'm not 100%, I don't eat it. Most of the time I'm 99% sure, but it's just not worth getting sick over.

It looks like the party is already over - I hope it went ok! Yes, soda is fine. At least all pepsi and coke products are (There may be a generic brand out there that contains gluten, I don't know). If it's a snack-type party (i.e. not sitting down to a formal meal), I would eat before I go. Even things like fruit trays make me nervous since they may have been cut in her wheat-filled kitchen and are likely to be sitting on a table where wheat crumbs can drop on them. I also put some small snacks in my purse for when I get hungry.

At restaurants, I often don't even look at the menu. I ask for plain grilled chicken made in a separate pan, steamed veggies, bakes potatoes. Sometimes I order salads and I find it's best to say "make me a salad with no crutons, smoked ham, wheat rolls, etc" rather than ordering a salad off the menu and taking ingredients off. You usually get a better salad that way.