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Disease Making Me Feel Isolated

Mac20elle

By Mac20elle
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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Wonka Apprentice
Wonka
Posted
I don't think you can assume any sort of food in a restaurant is gluten-free until you discuss it with them. I have a local Thai place I go to and there are about 6 dishes I can eat and they now know me so I feel safe going in there.

But back to the actual topic, I don't really have anything new to add other then life is what you make it. I'm often times a bit surprised about how upset people seem to be over having to take wheat/gluten out of their diet (i can't have gluten, beans, squash, tomatoes and the list goes on, my 16 year old daughter has to be gluten-free and peanut and nut free so we are no strangers to alternative diets).

Maybe its my perspective of look back over 50 years of living that I know for sure adjusting how I eat to be healthy is NOTHING. Trust me when I say life is going to throw you way more curve balls than that one! But even my 16 year old daughter takes it in stride, it is what it is. She goes out with friends (just like I do) all the time and figures it out, she has had a couple of boyfriends and they are fine with it. I'm single and I've never had anyone really care about my eating issues in a negative way. I've had a few guys really seem not to care and of course they didn't last long. Most care and try and be careful with where we go.

Yes I've had a few down moments too (hey I'm human) I remember a neighborhood Christmas party, it was catered and before going I was sure there would be veggies or something I could eat there. There wasn't, it was fabulous food, smelled great and I couldn't eat any of it. All I did was have a couple of glasses of wine. And I did feel gypped about it. But we had a neighborhood bar-b-q this summer and I called the few people in my neighborhood who know about my gluten-free status and asked them if by chance they were making something I could eat. They did and so did I and it worked out.

Why don't you go to a few places near where you work, were you co workers lunch and speak to them, figure out what you can and can't eat in them. I eat a lot of salads in lunch places and I carry little packages of Annie's dressing in my purse. I also carry gluten-free soy sauce. I guess having food issues requires you to think ahead a bit.

For me, its been 6 years being gluten-free now, its just not a big deal. Again we can't always control what path our health takes (or even a lot of the other stuff that happens to us) but we can control how we react to it. I choose to have a blast.

Good luck,

Susan

Susan, you have an amazing attitude towards life in general. Bravo.

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brendygirl Community Regular
brendygirl
Posted

I agree with the EAT AHEAD of TIME and CHECK menu ahead of time (I check online and keep a file of menu printouts in my car-I usually meet dates at the restaurant), don't order salads (there always seem to be crouton bits or something naughty hiding in there).

I also agree with BRING YOUR OWN food ---I take it further than the purse--- I stock gluten-free snacks in my desk drawers, attache bag, car, boyfriend's house, etc.

As for DATING (I was also diagnosed during my divorce--which was a blessing not having to share a kitchen with a glutenous piggy husband who would've never learned the gluten-free accommodations I need), I have rarely found dating with celiac disease a problem. I just say I can't eat bread or flour and they have told me they equivocate that with the idea that the likelihood of me becoming overweight is small. So,100% of men view it as a positive. I have lots of brothers and male friends who ALL fear marrying a fit woman and having her become really heavy afterwards. Mean, but true.

The only problem with datingis when we're on an all day group outing or something and everyone orders pizza at the end of a long day. Or a date runs way longer than anticipated. Or I've looked at the menu ahead, and then someone changes the restaurant! In these cases, I probably used all my snacks for lunch, not expecting the day to go so long, and now I can't eat and have to endure everyone else gorging on that yummy smelling pizza or whatever. The others in the group often assume I'm vain and on a diet to keep my weight in check if I can't even eat a bite after a long day, which is annoying, even though I know in my mind it's nothing personal. They often encourage me to eat the food, and one "No, Thanks" is not enough. ugh

I feel for you. The work situation for me has gotten better after 2 years, but it was a long road. The woman who's a preacher's wife was the most obnoxious about it. People are truly cruel.

Wonka Apprentice
Wonka
Posted
I agree with the EAT AHEAD of TIME and CHECK menu ahead of time (I check online and keep a file of menu printouts in my car-I usually meet dates at the restaurant), don't order salads (there always seem to be crouton bits or something naughty hiding in there).

I also agree with BRING YOUR OWN food ---I take it further than the purse--- I stock gluten-free snacks in my desk drawers, attache bag, car, boyfriend's house, etc.

As for DATING (I was also diagnosed during my divorce--which was a blessing not having to share a kitchen with a glutenous piggy husband who would've never learned the gluten-free accommodations I need), I have rarely found dating with celiac disease a problem. I just say I can't eat bread or flour and they have told me they equivocate that with the idea that the likelihood of me becoming overweight is small. So,100% of men view it as a positive. I have lots of brothers and male friends who ALL fear marrying a fit woman and having her become really heavy afterwards. Mean, but true.

The only problem with datingis when we're on an all day group outing or something and everyone orders pizza at the end of a long day. Or a date runs way longer than anticipated. Or I've looked at the menu ahead, and then someone changes the restaurant! In these cases, I probably used all my snacks for lunch, not expecting the day to go so long, and now I can't eat and have to endure everyone else gorging on that yummy smelling pizza or whatever. The others in the group often assume I'm vain and on a diet to keep my weight in check if I can't even eat a bite after a long day, which is annoying, even though I know in my mind it's nothing personal. They often encourage me to eat the food, and one "No, Thanks" is not enough. ugh

I feel for you. The work situation for me has gotten better after 2 years, but it was a long road. The woman who's a preacher's wife was the most obnoxious about it. People are truly cruel.

I've had the opposite experience. People have bent over backwards with kindness to try and include and accomodate my needs. I am very fortunate to have these amazing people in my life.

brendygirl Community Regular
brendygirl
Posted
My advice for eating out is be loud and proud about your celiac disease, if you need to threaten them that they may need to clean their bathroom if they aren't careful then do it.

Celiacmegan, this CRACKS me UP!! I love this one!

Do you have any Seinfeld-like responses for that question we get, "What happens to you when you eat gluten?"

roxie Contributor
roxie
Posted

I had to send this message to you because I feel exactly the same. I feel very isolated, and I feel really uncomfortable at events where I can't eat any of the food. I don't want to explain my celiac disease to 10 people, and I get worried that they will all think I'm crazy. However, I joined this group, and I immediately got a lot of support and encouragement. It feels really good to hear from people who are going through the same thing. It's great to know that I can ask any question I might have about this disease, and most likely, someone here will know the answer. I'm trying hard to stick to the gluten free diet, but it's still difficult, and sometimes I get sad. But, I know it's something I have to do, and I'm going to get through it one day at a time.

KristineH Newbie
KristineH
Posted

It's nice to know that others feel this way. I was diagnosed with celiac as a baby, and my mom did everything in her power to make me the same foods as everyone else, but it was still obvious at the dinner table when I had weird rice macaroni and everyone else had yummy fun spagetti noodles. Or switch that with rice cakes vs. moist and tasty sandwiches. I am still learning to embrace my 'specialness', but I still find it hard to cope sometimes. I got tired of explaining my celiac disease a LONG time ago and found ways to just hide from the situation. Currently, I am just discovering the help of humor in any awkward food situation. Luckily I have found an amazing boyfriend who is a great listener and lactose intolerant himself, so he knows and understands the trials of a special diet. Food is such a social binder, however I like what everyone else is saying about just learning that there are other ways to relate, and PLANNING AHEAD. We have no choice but to take the time to cook and find the right foods. Everything happens for a reason, right? :P

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