Gluten-free Lifestyle And Marriage

[tammy]

Hi All,

Totally discouraged!!!!!

I just don't want to do this anymore. Yes, I know all the right things to do. I have been on a gluten-free diet since December of 2002.

And to my surprise my husband is also gluten-sensitive. Good right, no because he his not being responsible with himself and me.

We had a wonderful Valentine meal and afterwards he presentted wonderful candy store chocolates!

Sounds great- I was drooling! He asked the candy shop owner what the ingredients were-good right?! THis is a significant improvement but not all wheat containing ingredients are listed, right? Some conveyor belts have flour on them, right? I thank him for his thoughtfulness and then say I can't eat these.. I just don't want to take the chance. He is now hurt... So we will call the company. But this is too grueling for me. He doesn't put any for thought or planning into our diet. I've explained that I am more educated and experienced at this and would he please allow himself the education. !!!!!!!!!!

[Guest jhmom]

Tammy, Welcome to the board

So sorry you are having a tough time. I am sure deep down inside your husband really does understand, he's just hurt! It sounds like he did everything right as far as asking about the ingredients, If I were you I would stick to the gluten-free candy list just to be safe.

Try not to get discouraged and go get some chocolate that you can have and enjoy it YUMMY!!!

[Guest PastorDave]

Hi Tammy;

Coming from a guy's perspective, sometimes it is hard for us guys to think about being gluten-free. We tend to be more impulsive then women, especially when it comes to getting treats for those that we love. If he is willing to call the company, then great! Don't discourage that. I have found out some great things about certain companies by calling (ie. I know that Kraft is very knowledgable about Gluten, and try to be sure to list it on all ingredient lists). I am sorry that you had a bad Valentine's experience, but it sounds to me like you have someone there who is really working hard to make you happy.

Take care.

Dave

[Billygoat]

He is now hurt... So we will call the company.  But this is too grueling for me.  He doesn't put any for thought or planning into our diet. I've explained that I am more educated and experienced at this and would he please allow himself the education.  !!!!!!!!!! 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sometimes it's hard for the hubby's because they truly don't understand the importance of a gluten-free diet. My husband is one of the most sensitive men I know and he also has an issue with remembering. The more educated I get, the more I share, so the more he's educated. I try to keep mostly gluten-free foods in the house, so when he decides to cook for me, it's usually safe. If it's not, he at least knows to ask first.

If your hubby has been diagnosed with celiac disease, then maybe he's just going through the mourning stages of his past life. I've had to do that as well, so until he gets adjusted it's going to be hard on him.

[frenchiemama]

Could you figure out an "approved treat" list to give him? My husband loves to pick up little treats for me when he's out without me, but to avoid the problem of him bringing home something I can't eat I have figured out a list of specific items/brands that I know are ok. He remembers which specific thing I can have, so if he's out he knows at least a couple of things that he can pick up without any trouble.

[jenvan]

i think carolyn's idea was a great one! shopping for new things for me or surprises would be a frustrating and a bit nerve-racking task for my dh. i think b/c he is your husband, he has a certain level of responsiblity to care for you, be aware, educate himself... but alas, that sort-of thing is hard for some guys. my husband listens well to what i say and teach him (as it seems yours does as well), however, he may never go read one of my books or search out research on his own. beyond a resonable level of responsiblity and care, you may just have to let it go. definitely a key in marriage i've found ! some couples (not all) have a division of labor--however it falls...and for my dh and mine, i take care of the meal planning and cooking. so, regardless of whether my diet is gluten-free or not, he will probably never spend much time thinking about what we eat, b/c that's in area in which i lead. so if that is the norm for you, you need to take that into account too. if you think his lack of education or savvy is causing you to become ill however, then you should discuss it with him.

[tarnalberry]

It's tough - particularly if he's going to take it personally. The most important thing to do in those situations is to make sure that he is explicitly told that you appreciate the thought he put into it. That you know, love, and cherish the intent behind the gift. Other than that, he's definitely giving it a good shot - willing to call the company, asking those questions. It's a start, and a good one. Perhaps more time will get him there, but it's a learning curve that requires time and patience.