How To Convince Family (and Doctors)?

MountaineerBeth · October 19, 2008

Ok, I know that when the only tool you have is a hammer, everything starts looking like a nail. BUT, I was recently diagnosed with celiac, and since being told some of the classic symptoms, I'm seeing some of them manifested in close family members. I've brought up the suggestion that they should at least go in for the blood test, since I have three other family members on that side of the family that are diagnosed, but no one seems to be taking me seriously. My mother, who has had Crohn's disease for about 17 years, puts off the test even though she would be the family member i would be most concerned about having celiac since the two conditions are related. My aunt has begun to believe my suggestion that her debilitating migraines could have a root in some form of gluten intolerance has at least talked to her doctor, but the doctor won't even write up the paper for the lab work (its one vial of blood, i mean, come on!).

How do I go about convincing these people that these tests are a necessary precaution? Even my doctor told me that my mother should make a high priority of being tested, and yet she doesn't listen.

ShayFL · October 19, 2008

First of all, you cannot convince someone to take care of their own health. They have to decide that for themselves. You will just cause yourself undue stress by "hammering" them. I know you love them and want them to be healthy, but it will just work against you to press them. We see it time and time again. The best you can do is take care of yourself and let them see how great you are doing. IF they ask you about Celiac, then share.

Secondly, if anyone wants testing but their doctor refuses, they should find another doctor. And if all else fails order their own tests through www.directlabs.com or www.healthcheckusa.com or another lab that does not require a doctor's request. You can self order ANY labs you need. Aint America great!!

And lastly, gluten products are highly addictive. Their metabolites fit nicely into the opiate receptors in our brains. People are addicted and they do not want to give up their drug even if it is killing them. There are also emotional and social reason that people do not want to give up their gluten lifestyle. They live under the veil of what I dont know wont hurt me. Unfortunately, you cannot change that.

BTW my migraines went away gluten-free.

Hang in there and get yourself well. Be the example they can see of good health. Offer support when asked. Inform those that do not know, but do not put pressure on them. Tell them where they can get tested if their doctor refuses. This is what you CAN do.

MollyBeth · October 20, 2008

I'm going to have to second Shay's response. As you well know...just the thought of giving up things like bread and all our favorite processed foods can be a challenge. It sounds crazy to me but some people would just rather deal with the symptoms than go through the hassel of changing their diet.

When I first had my blood tested back in August I was flying high because I thought I had finally found my answer I had been researching online and bought books and everything fit. I was reading this site and I felt like I was reading about myself. Then my tests came back negative and I was crushed because I was like well, what's wrong with me? (this was before I found out about false negatives) I called my Aunt to talk about it with her and her response was "well, Thank god! You didn't want to have to deal with such strict dietary restrictions!" Ofcourse I didn't want Celiac Disease but I was more than happy to make a diet change if it would allow me to have a "normal" digestive system. Now that I'm on the diet...She still thinks of it as temporary.

I've been begging my dad to get tested and he won't, he's 56. He's had Cancerous Polyups removed from his colon on several different occasions. His mother died of colon cancer before she was 40. He has diverticulitus and he has D everyday. His response when I tell him to get tested is... "No way I have that." bottom line end of discussion.

You just gotta focus on you. The only thing you can change or control in this world is yourself. Pain in the BUTT...yet so very true. Best of luck with your health.