Need Help

[Aleshia]

ok so my middle child is 4 1/2 and I have been noticing strange behaviors since he was younger but they seem to be getting more pronounced and he's not outgrowing them...

the first strange thing that I noticed about him was that as a baby he never really babbled... he would always make eye contact and giggle and stuff and he is a social kid in a lot of aspects but his verbal skills didn't develop in what I would say was a normal sequence... he started saying his first words between 9 and 12 mo. but his pronunciation was always a bit funny (still is he seems to talk with an italian accent in a really really high pitched voice) anyway... he just does strange things... like chewing on things, he always has his shirt in his mouth... or his blankie... or a stuffed animal or toy... my purse strap and even the end of his toothbrush, and the biggest thing is that in the car he gets ahold of the car chargers... and starts chewing on the metal parts that stick out... you know the part that plugs into the car or whatever.. and once he had the other end in his mouth the part that plugs into my phone and I had to get a pen in it and pry it open cause he had it totally flattened and I couldn't plug my phone in! he still has accidents off and on and its like they aren't just accidents.. I mean wetting the bed is one thing but he told me he pooped in his pants because it was warm.... ??? totally wierd... and he took his hot chocolate up to his room and was spitting it all over the carpet... in toy boxes... all over the front of the dressers... I just don't understand what motivates him to do these things! he's constantly destroying things and I don't know why or what he is trying to accomplish! in the middle of us trying to move he destroyed a gel ice-pack and "finger painted" the walls of a room I had JUST cleaned so I had to go back through and re-clean it all... I thought it was an accident but now whenever he finds an icepack he tries to tear it open! he pulls all the TP off the roll and then rips up the cardboard tube. or he'll put the whole new roll of TP in the sink and get it all wet. he's totally destroyed his blankets by holding one end with his hands and then pushing on the other end with his feet and ripping them into shreds. if something looks like it can be taken apart he's got in pieces within minutes and then crying that it is broken, when I can fix it I do but then its apart again minutes later! It drives me crazy! he smears food on the chairs and in his hair and stamps the walls with those little stamper things and he tears apart books and papers.... another weird thing is his grunting... he's always making a weird little grunting sound.. . they get louder and more frequent during movies or when he is sitting still (not often!!) he's not a very coordinated kid he still can't color and I have no idea if he is right or left handed... someone asked if he is ambidexterous... I told them he was anti-dextrous... cause he isn't coordinated with either... he's basically given up eating with a spoon or fork and just eats with his fingers... even with messy foods. at preschool he doesn't use scissors very well and I have an appointment coming up with his teacher cause she said she has "some concerns" I don't know much other than that he isn't ready for kindergarten and she said the class size (16 kids) was overwhelming for him... I know these symptoms don't really sound like the autism symptoms I've read about... other than maybe the chewing on metal? the only other thing that I can think of that was more typical is he does walk on his toes sometimes.... anyway... he's been gluten-free for about 9 months which has helped alot with his melt-downs and fussyness... its easier to get him to calm down now but I still don't feel like he is how he should be...

I'm worried sometimes cause he is a totally sweet kid very affectionate and says I love you alot... but when he says it... I don't know I feel like he doesn't even know what it means... like he is only saying it because it seems to be the right thing to say? I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone else but it scares me when I hear of kids that turn on their parents later in life and there was never any warning signs before hand... at least not anything other than subtleties....

anyway anyone that can point me in the right direction with this or relate to it or anything... help!!!

[sugarsue]

Hello! I urge you to google Sensory Processing Disorder and Sensory Integration Disorder symptoms and see if anything hits home for you. These sound like sensory seeking behaviors to me for starters. You can get an evaluation at an occupational therapist and the treatment is play therapy where the child gets introduced to sensory activities in a way that will help retrain him to respond appropriately to sensory input. Please feel free to PM me for more information. I've been through this with my daughters who had different symptoms of this but it really sounds like a strong possibility. OT and sensory activities changed our lives.

Also, finding a Dan! doctor might be a good idea as well as they deal with ASD and might have some insight as well.

[Mama Ruthies]

Hi Aleshia,

Quick background on our 4.5 year old---

His speech started to regress soon after our 2 year old was born, to the point all he said was baby and bye-bye. We had him in Birth to 3 and then decided at 3.5 to put him in the school's speech therapy. We didn't want them to diagnose, just offer services. They tossed around all kinds of labels. We saw one of the leaders in the country for late talkers in May, and he stated that our son is not autistic or apraxic, two things the school kept throwing around. If your son shows love and wants to be around people, I would say he isn't autistic. FYI, this doctor has many states in the country that he doesn't know of a doctor to refer parents to for evaluations---such a high % of the kids are misdiagnosed. He said that to be good at diagnosing you have to be a detective. I can say, a very high percentage of people w/in a school system or even pediatricians are not familiar with celiac and what they do know relates to the digestive system. THe doctor did say that our son's speech issues are consistent with how other patients he's seen with celiac have presented.

Our son didn't show any signs of losing weight, etc. although looking back, we realize he did have lots of messy diapers. He was glutened after being gluten free for 7 months and we saw a big change---amount he talked decreased a lot, his pronounciation was horrible, he was doing some strange behaviors, and could barely get to the bathroom (not loose just came fast) for about a week. It took about 8 weeks for his speech and 'sound" of speech to improve.

Our son is a toe walker, as our two of his siblings and his dad. I have read a ton on late talkers and one thing that is really important is to get the proper diagnosis so that you can get the right therapy. The doctor we saw said that if we would have let the school have their way, our son would most likely have regressed rather than improved.

Regarding the chewing things, I would seriously have some of his vitamin/mineral levels checked. From what I remember reading, a magnesium deficiency can cause kids to chew things (celiac can cause a magnesium deficiency). Have you double checked to make sure he isn't getting gluten somewhere? We had our son on a dairy free diet for a touch, and he was drinking Rice Dream. I found out that even though it states it is gluten free, it does have some gluten in it and many are affected by it. Maybe he has another intolerance----Doris Rapp has a great book called Is This Your Child that gives many great ideas on how food affects us. Also, have you had your son checked for anemia? We found out this fall that our son is anemic, which our pediatrican told us numerous times can cause all kinds of issues.

We supplement with cod liver oil---we know that the gluten our son got affected his brain(very evident when he got glutened over the summer) and omega oils are great to help brain development.

Blessings!

[Aleshia]

Just wanted to post this update...

I had a chance to talk to my son's preschool teacher today and she said that she just finished her assessment time with him but hasn't written it all out... she said in her estimation he is at the level of a 2 1/2 - 3 year old (he will be 5 in july) anyway, I knew he was behind, I didn't realise how much. she said she will go over her evaluation with me when it is all written out and give me copies to show the pediatrician.... I just don't know how it got so bad.. .why didn't I see how bad it was? why did I listen to the people who were telling me I was just being paranoid? and where do I go from here? I mean even with a referral from the ped. its gonna take ages to get an appointment with the school district!!

[taweavmo3]

Do not beat yourself up over this! I know the guilt all too well, but as my husband tells me over and over when I look back on how I could have done things differently with my daughter, guilt serves no purpose.

I know in my case, it happened over such a long period of time, that it was harder for me to see. And although I had an older child to compare her to, and I noticed that things were "off", I was still holding on to the idea that each child develops differently. Everyone told me not to compare my children, or that she just needed time to heal and that she would catch up, and everyone had a story of someone in their family who didn't talk until age 3, and then started speaking in full, well articulated sentences. Those stories drove me crazy, lol.

It is overwhelming at first, when you realize your child is behind. Every state is different, but I contacted our local school system for a full evaluation. It was determined then that my daughter was a good 2 years behind for her age. However, the school system only addressed severe delays, meaning the bare minimum of therapy. So we also took her to a developmental pediatrician for another evaluation, b/c we too thought she may be autistic. She wasn't dx'd with autism, but she does have a significant expressive/receptive language delay. This evaluation wasn't cheap, but it was covered partly by insurance and it was really worth every penny.

Try not to stress too much......start out with getting him evaluated, and go from there. My dd is 7 years old now, and has made huge strides in the past 4 years with the help of therapy. Good luck to you!

[taweavmo3]

I also wanted to add that we supplement with fish oil too, as well as probiotics and a liquid calcium supplement with vitamin D.

The probiotics and liquid calcium supp. taste good, so the kids take them w/out a fuss. The fish oil is tricky....if you get a quality oil, it won't taste fishy, but the oily texture puts the kids off. We like the Carlson brand the best, it is Vitamin A & D free (the Vit A gave my dd headaches). The way I get them to take it is with a medicine syringe. I draw up 1/2 tsp fish oil, then draw up a little juice, and they suck it down. I used to mix it in their cup of juice, but they could see the oil in it, and wouldn't touch it, lol. With the syringe, it's quick and easy.

I notice a difference in my dd's speech and comprehension with these supplements, they really do seem to make a big difference. Hope that helps!

[Aleshia]

The fish oil is tricky....if you get a quality oil, it won't taste fishy, but the oily texture puts the kids off. We like the Carlson brand the best, it is Vitamin A & D free (the Vit A gave my dd headaches). The way I get them to take it is with a medicine syringe. I draw up 1/2 tsp fish oil, then draw up a little juice, and they suck it down. I used to mix it in their cup of juice, but they could see the oil in it, and wouldn't touch it, lol. With the syringe, it's quick and easy.

shouldn't have any trouble with the fish oil, my husband loves to take the fish oil gel caps and "pop" them and chew them up... he got Krystjan hooked on that but I haven't given him any in a while I will definitely have to start on that again! at least I won't have to worry about him not liking them! the other day we were in costco and he saw a bottle of them and begged me to buy them! LOL