It Takes A While For People To Understand

[westiepaws]

I thought it would be like any other medical situation, you just say it and describe it and people take your word for it. But it's really not. With celiac, people need time to digest the idea of the whole disease. It's like we've all been brainwashed into thinking "How can you live w/out the amber waves of grain in your gullet every day?"

Often I suspect, as a newbie, that people think initially that you've been misled by some quack, or that you are a total hypochondriac. And I've come to believe the best way to handle it -- although I'm a newbie, still have a lot to learn in this department - is just be matter of fact about it.

Case in point: I'm dating a nice fellow, a doctor, although not in anything related to celiac. Since my last "glutening," I've become serious about being gluten-free, so he's been with me when I would take a bit of a cheesecake -- and now, when I am ecstatic to find one dish in a restaurant that I can eat! Of course since he is just a boyfriend, he hasn't seen me at home paying for a glutening, although I have told him what it is like. And once at a Braves game he went all over the stadium trying to find me a gluten-free snack.

We went to dinner Friday night and as we left we went by the dessert case he said, "You mean you can't eat ANYTHING in there?" And I said, "Let's see: gluten, casien, gluten, gluten and casien, gluten..." pointing at every dessert.

He expressed some skepticism Sunday of how eating organic could help, and how my nutritionist's juice mix could help alleviate itching, etc. So I laid out all my blood, DNA and fecal test results in front of him and explained it all. Then I showed him the book "Dangerous Grains" and went through showing him all the the peer-reviewed journal articles in the back that it is based on.

The book citations made headway, because they include articles that have appeared in the top mainstream medical journals: NEJM, JAMA, Lancet, etc., etc. Some were even relevant to his field!

He is keeping gluten-free snacks for me at his house now, and he always asks about whether I think I could get a gluten-free meal at X restaurant, so he is thinking about it. And he knows it is okay w/me if he eats non-gluten stuff in front of me when we are out.

But he is also learning that at my house, we are not eating gluten food. And that more than likely, the food will be organic. And he also is learning that it is quite delicious.

He does question how I know for sure that, for example, going organic makes a difference. He questions the time involved in cooking and shopping. As I am studying to be a nutritionist and help people w/our condition, he wonders whether people will put in the time preparing food. What I said to him is this:

*If we are allergic to gluten, we are most likely also sensitive to other things, like dyes, flavorings and other chemicals.

*Given that, it's a heck of a lot more efficient to just go organic and avoid all that junk -- instead of going through life eating food filled w/all that and then feeling sick and not knowing what caused it and having to figure it out.

*If you go organic; and you know your allergies; all you have to check for on the labels are those allergy-provoking foods.

*And finally, if you have felt the fatigue associated with getting "glutened" -- and the other inconveniences -- you figure it is more economically finanically and time-wise to just get the allergen-free food, and, for some of us, the organic food. Rather than miss work and LIFE being sick.

We'll see how it goes. If at any point we are taking about sharing refrigerators permanently (i.e. getting married) he'll have to be happy with this whole scene! Otherwise, adios!

[mela14]

Hi Westie,

You are very lucky that you have found someone who is taking the time to understand what is going on in your body.It should at least get easier being with him....so that you can enjoy each other's company instead of stressing over a meal.

Also, being a doctor probably makes it easier for him to grasp and understand. My ex was a physician and was always on board and trying to help with my ailments....too bad we hadn't figured out the gluten thing yet.

My hubby though, has been there through the entire process and has seen first hand how sick I get. Before we knew what was going on I was running from dr to dr as sick as a dog! I would moan in bed thinking I was poisoned! This went on for years...........until this past November when the first mention on gluten wa brought to light.

I feel that at least if he understands it makes it that much easier. I know he always has my back and its always coaching me when we are out with people. He will stand up for me and say that I can't have something or gently remind me not to eat something suspicious. It has been a learning experience and I still don't have it right....but I am trying every day.

You are so right about the senstivities to preservatives and food coloring and other allergies. I mostly go organic but haven't gotten all the food intolerances down pat .....so lots of gut issues are still at the surface. A few accidental ingestions are teaching me to scrutinze even more.

next week I am attending a local support group meeting and hopefully i can continue to learn form other's experiences and perhpas share them here.

It's not easy but having a caring partner helps! I am so glad that you found one! Please keep us posted............epsecially if you here bells!!!!

Take care,