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I think its a combination of things....

Firstly the cliched moody chef is a reality, either through chef's thinking its cool or because of the nature of the job, either way chefs tend to be rather moody individuals. I think those in chains and franchises are the worst, they probably trained to be creative and then have to dumb themselves down into a drudgery and then force themselves to adapt to this.

Secondly I think quite a few celiacs con themselves. They refuse to accept that no resto is 100% safe (unless it really doesn't have any gluten in the kitchen at all) and the same at home regarding sharing kitchens with others.

Again the reasons for this are diverse, many people simply want to be told what to believe be it in work or home. In other words the fact is that no resto can absolutely guarantee they can only try very hard ... but some people prefer certainty in their lives even when that certainty is based on nothing concrete. In other words many people prefer to be told X amount is OK rather than X amount seems OK but we don't know what other damage it might cause. In a work environment this is characterised by people who want ticks in boxes .. people who steadfastly refuse to look at evidence that part of a job may have been skipped if they have a tick in a box saying it was done, in the case of celiac disease these people are the ones who want to see a gluten-free symbol or statement and will find all manner of excuse for being ill after eating out that doesn't involve gluten.

There is also a fact that as humans we retain an eternal optimism, I certainly had no intention of being a sensitive celaic, after all why wait until my late 30's to be diagnosed if I was at the sensitive end of the scale. I was optimistic about being able to eat oats and contamination issues until I had to admit to myself it wasn't the case. I guess this is the case for most people but some peoople will be curious and investigate themselves and others not and prefer to believe what they are handed. One only has to look at successful advertising to be aware that a significant percentage of the population prefers to be told what to do ... rathewr than work it out for themselves.

Many people on gluten free diets are really on low gluten diets because they do not accept that items have risk. If they get a mild glutening from contamination then this is probably part and parcel of everyday life for them.

Thirdly many people simply have different tolerances and reactions.

Last night I ate out with friends and because of me it was sushi, personally I hate the stuff but its a safer option. I took my own Soy sauce and ate only sushi, sashimi and maki but I have to accept I got glutened by my reaction this morning.

Maybe it was the maki or maybe it was the rice, who knows? Perhaps the chef had soy sauce on his hands .. but I can either accept it and move on or pretend my D is from something else.

I just called Latrobe Brewing. They confirmed the malt. Curses foiled again!

Tom

But which type of malt do they use?

Erm only wheat, rye and barley rye contain gluten and there is no reason rice or corn malt would contain gluten.

The real danger is if they use corn malt but the supply chain uses a transporter that has contained gluten or other forms of contamination ?

Personally I wouldn't risk it but it depends on the source of the malt ...

It is like an out of body experience. I can see and hear everything going on around me but am completely unable to connect with reality. The words are in my head but nothing or something completely inapropriate comes out. I try to make my body do something but it won't move or does something very different than what I intended. Have not experienced this in over a year and I don't miss it. Brain fog almost caused me to lose everything.

Absolutely ... I am interpreting "Brain fog almost caused me to lose everything" to mean you have honesty problems with what other's say? Is that correct... ? When I have Brain fog I just want leaving alone even if I want company .. but if someone says something not completely honest I react very badly. This can be trivial like "Its going to be wonderful weather next week" to which I might reply "Predicting the weather is an inexact science so please don't pretend to know what the weather is going to be next week" ... or my boss asking me what I think of his project to which I might reply that he is "completely unqualifed to be running it and would do better to stop lying to people about understanding it" ...

For me, Brain Fog is like a spaced out (or stoned - if I knew what that meant wink.gif ) feeling. I do get the occasional tonge-ties and brain farts (like looking in the fridge for the dinner I just heated in the microwave)... but hard to tell if it's from anything or it just is.

Yes but this is where the analogy ends for me if you are talking about MJ (as someone nicely called it later)

In the above examples if I was 'stoned' I would say nice things... they might not make all that much sense but they wouldn't be quite so straight. If my microwaved food wasn't in the fridge and I was stoned I would laugh at myself but if I was glutened I would hate myself for it.

The out of body experience is the closest for me but its more of an inbody-out-of body exerience, not that I ever had the other type...

Its like I am controlling my body by remote control but every so often it will do something of its own accord, often as many have said speech related. Its almost like watching and listening to someone else saying things that are making you cringe but you just can't stop them. ... but that person is yourself. On one level you are fully concious of what you should say but on another level you are completely unable to prevent yourself saying what you really mean.

People calling me on the phone or trying to engage me in conversation irritates me, in fact its almost like being in another place doing something really important and someone interupting it, except that something "really important" is simply being aside from everyone else. I am fully aware that what I say is inappropriate but in most cases unable to do anything about it .. it just comes out. If anyone "lies" to me it leaves me seething and unable to stop thinking about it until it becomes an obsession. It doesn't matter to me if the person lied through omission or ignorance because I am unable to rationalise the difference.

On my side the most control I can exert is to try and hint the person doesn't want my opinion, like telling my boss "you don't really want to know what I think of......." and if they persit I will just tell them in the fewest words possible. If someone pretends not to understand something or acknowledge something I find it very hard not to

tell them, for instance something trivial like taking my seat and pretending they didn't realise ... I am just completely unable to "play the game"

For example going to the loo and getting back and someone has taken my chair ...

ME "Excuse me but I was sitting there"

THEM "Oh sorry I didn't realise"

ME "well I was sitting there and that is my jacket and that is my coffee ...so I find it pretty hard to imagine that when you sat on my jacket and pushed my coffee and book aside you didn't realise someone was already sitting here"

THEM "Oh I just missed it"

At this point the issue of the seat is unimportant, what is important to me is the person acknowledges they are lying to me and tells the truth. It doesn't matter to me at all if its a group of 6 guys and Im on my own and i know they are going to beat me up I will not back down ... unless they admit the lie but at the back of my mind I know I am going to get in serious trouble and I should just accept they have my seat and have lied but I just can't force my remote control self to do it, its like the batteries are going on the remote and it stops responding and reacts autonomously.

The thing is i know full well I shouldn't be saying this and I know full well I could just walk away but the damned batteries are gone and the out-of-body self can no longer control the autonomous self any more than you can exert a voluntary control over your body relasing antibodies against gluten...

I had promised myself not to post here anymore, just read but this has got me breaking my own rule.

First off take everything DEBMIDGE said becuase its all very well thought out but I would even add to that.

Relationships are a two way thing, each one is like some contract and each has different rules because both partners want different things. These things also change ... most profoundly (but not exclusively) I think for women where a priority might change most dramatically about having children ... at least it seems regarding kids its usually the women gets to this point first...

The point is the change in circumstances is something the relationship changes with... however lets step back and look what a relationship is...

Basically its like a contract where two people want to be together and provide certain services for each other, be that support or sex or just understanding.

Some relationships break up cos a guy doesn't want kids and then the guy meets a girl and they have kids in a short space of time. Has the guy changed? I don't think so, I think perhaps its more that the relationship 'contract' as it were is different with the new girl. The guy hasn't fundametally changed, it is the nature of the relationship with the new girl which has changed.

Each contract is unique but also changes and adapts .. some adapt well and other not and some the partners compromise and change for the relationship.... in other words you have three seperate but interconnected changing fundamentals. If any of these becomes inretrievable then the relationship is likely to fail.

Everyone, and I mean everyone has faults. It is how we deal with the faults that keeps a relationship healthy. We can adapt or we can break the relationship or we can pretend the faults don't exist which in many cases is a recipe for a bad relationship.

Everyone else can tell you about their relationships but yours is unique... you say coming across as 'doormatty' but obviously you have faults as well and maybe some you know and others you don't.

That doesn't make for an excuse, but I do know that some of his concern before all this went down was that he wasn't going to be able to adequately support the both of us.

That is up to you, I can't tell you to accept it or not because its unique to your relationship.

Let me just say many relationships are founded on trivial things. What you need to decide is whether it is simply your medical condition and if he can/will come to terms with it.

As a counter to all of those other posts, many women end relationships just because a guy looses a job or has financial problems. Many a relationship fails because one partner medically can't have kids ... but if you lookk at stats for failed relationships on IVF programs for instance they are very high if the IVF fails ...

People also look for different things in a relationship according to the timing...which is a extension of the IVF thing...

For instance many people look for a certain type of person for a relationship .. an example is girls looking for a strong alpha male ...and then they find that the relationship is not what they hoped for because the guy is acting like the person they were attracted to in the first place which could be the 'bad boy' image in this case and someone who won't settle down once in the relationship. On the other hand many women also look to providors and steadyness but then find thier man boring and stead. Recent research has showed that an amazing amount of father's are not the biological father ... the research was undertaken because of the then nexplicable amount of familes with genetic illnesses who refused to have their kids tested ...

Random screening shows an incidence of 1:25 that a alleged father is not the real father, wheras the biassed stats of people asking for it show 1:7... This study prompted lots of psycholgists to explain why... and basically the opinion seemed to be that the women involved were either seeking out or being impressionable from alpha males in their more fertile time. In other words they had different properties they looked for in a biological father and the person they wanted to provide for them and their offspring.

I see all of this as part of the contract part of the relationship. It sounds so cold but the relationship is probably anything but. You can turn the whole thing around and say lots of women with bad boy boyfriends/husbands seek companionship (not necassarily sexual) with other less aggressive guys.

There are also different aims from both sides... many men look for shallow relationships, probably not so much as the avergage girl gets the impression since she is probably hit on 20 times more often by the people with a shallow interest but there are also guys who simply want to take that protective role and others who are even attracted to someone with a illness that creates dependancy.

Specifically Im thinking of two real friends, one of whom is in cancer remission and the other who just wants to take care of her. Her last fiance was also a cancer patient and they shared experiences of mortaility and expectations ... The new guy is a platonic friend but who wants a relationship and take care of her... Who knows it seems weird to me but that is to me, perhaps they will find happyness together.

The ex-fiance was messed about by one of her previous 'platonic' friends who simply played on the fiances insecurity of being in a different continent and made sure he was always around to feed the paranoia ... and was more than happy to escalate the platonic friendship to a sexual relationship as soon as he managed to split them up.

In other words Im only talking about three relationships with a close friend of mine who a regard as a sister.

Each relationship was unique ... not simply the nuances but the actual basis of the relationship.

Just like the many guys who leave relationships because they couldn't commit and 2 yrs later are married and expecting their first child circumstances change this relationship too.

My friend like many of her social class had been grought up to look for a lawyer or similar as a spouse, nothing specific ... but just she was encouraged to look for the sort of guy who would be able to provide financial security to the point of never worrying about money. When she recovered from the cancer and her husband left her mostly because of the cancer she changed to looking for someone to be happy with excluding finance... removal of vital parts made her choice of partner as a 'father' imatterial and with it the need for a partner who could provide for her children. Who knows if her ex-husband had been disbarred and unable to provide she might have left him because the providor part was very impotant to her then...

In other words her criteria changed and all future relationships have changed with it....

You now have a lifelong condition and its not going away ... whatever you choose your relationship will be different than the last one even if it is the last one.

Whatever happens, I'm not "going back" soon or in any easy way -- I've already decided that I need a year on my own to pick up the pieces. I guess what I want to figure out is how thoroughly I need to drop this guy from my life given that we had six years together and many friends and family in common.

Im not knocking a year on your own but I don't think you can set firm rules....

I met my present gluten-free after a reasonably amicable divirse and I was just looking as she was for a little fun. Well that's 3 1/2 yrs ago and she spent two of those years in a different country and we now live together and are very happy. I am quite a bit older than her and noone gave the relationship more than weeks (except the friend I just mentioned and given her previous relationship choices it wasn't an opinion I took with too much weight)

When you find the right person you should at least be ready to acknowlede it and your earlier post about

At 36, I've got kind of an old soul -- which, combined with knowing I'm not physically whole right now is what's prevented me from following my girlfriends' advice to go out and have a bunch of fun casual encounters.

Why not.... ?

I think the basis is you need to be objective... I honestly think relationships where partners go out looking for a serious relationship are more likely to fail. Chances are you get serious first then find all the faults and either stick with it or not. By getting to know some guys first and identifying WHY they are not right will help you spot when it IS right.

In this case you have a new part to yourself which will be there from day 1 and the dyanmics of any future relationship (from which I mean a single dinner date after you decide 'no thanks' to a more advanced relationship) will be on these terms... If you are not specifically looking for "Mr right" then your assessement is more objective... everyone has faults and be most suspicious of those who don't appear to have them because they are hiding them. In the same way don't hide your faults or your illness. If you do and a relationship develops then its founded on mistruths and deception and unless you are the sort of person who wants that sort of relationship (some people do but youre posts indicate otherwise) the relationship will turn sour.

Well that's me back into silent mode........

You may be absorbing more now that you're gluten-free. So the same amount of alcohol would seem like more .

I just thought of the inverse .... hmmm. interesting.

The funny thing is people seem incredibly sensitive to different types of alcohol. I used to drink a lof of spirits and no wine and the same amount of wine with 1/4 the alcohol would knock me out. Now I drink almost exclusivly wine and if not cider which is i guess apple wine more than beer I bet what I used to drink in spirits would knock me on my back but I drink double the amount of wine...???

If she lives in your area, I'd suggest offer to take her shopping too. If you attend a local meeting group then invite her along. Invite her over for a tasty meal so she see we're not just eating twigs and berries. I think the hardest part of starting a gluten-free diet is knowing what you can and can not have - having a mentor would be so helpful.

What, noone told me.... (actually very good point, I know quite a few peope who have seen a nutritionist who come away scared to eat fresh fuit and vegetables because they are not labelled gluten-free)

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This past Thursday I went to an alumni event for my college, and had 2 glasses of white wine. By the time I got home (after eating at Risotteria), I was pretty smashed. This is the second time this has happened to me. I haven't been drinking a lot of alcohol due to my healing process, so I'm wondering if my tolerance is just low, or if I am having a reaction to it.

Anyone else have these issues?

Nope but a lot of people do have grape allergies? I guess your tolerance is down or are you on any prescription meds? I don't know about being smashed on two glasses but two bottles minus 2 glasses is my normal with a decent meal... then im pretty smashed by the end. This is because my gluten-free (it typed g and f for girlfriend but I guess the board knows best) is on meds that get her sloshed off 2 glasses so I drink the rest so we can have a decent wine with the starter and main but usually I find 2 bottles is enough

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It's hard for me to tune them out when they whine about his health, but it's really in their hands.

Don't bother tuning them out tell them they are getting what they deserve and you don't want to hear about their whining, they really have no right to whine about being ill if they don't even want to change.

Unless someone chooses to follow the diet willingly, they're destined to cheat. I agree that you should link them to this web site right away. I learned more on this site than from any doctor or dietician. If they are intelligent people, a few posts into this site should convince them to go gluten-free for life.

Agree strongly on #1

But on the rest I know lots of MD's who smoke, people who trust polititians and even some people that enjoy McDonalds and I really can't see how an intellegent person could do any of these yet ... millions do!

In this case she is asking for advice so that's a good start....but I have learned that worrying too much about others killing themselves is bad for your own health. You end up worrying for them, these people are what I call emotional leaches.

They want to take the beer and pizza and let you do the worrying.

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I'd have to say the lack of control! When you gotta go YOU GOTTA GO! The D is intense. I sometimes feel like a stunt double, took a couple headers jumping over things to b line to the bathroom quick!. I sorta gave up on wearing things with zippers and buttons! HA

Stef 4 Dogs

Last time i played about with my diet I had to take 3 metro's to get home....

I have to admit I spent a whole non-gluten-free weekend and then it hit me....

First one I managed a cafe, my gluten-free had to hang about while I spent half an hour and came out sweating like a pig, I don't know what they thought I ws injecting in there....

Then next line on the way I had to bail out found a bar and exploded .. another half hour....

Third one I happened to be next to a pub I knew... not so lucky and I had to remove my undies and stick them in the bin for ladies use.... and do the best I could with loo roll....

I have never been back to the pub, Id be to embarassed. but this doesn't even hit the radar as annoying symptom...

Migranes go well ahead, I used to have 1 a month and be so ill my eyes actaully bled. The apin has been so bad I have taken enough coedine to seriously damage a horse and not cared if it killed me... but this still doesn't hit the radar ....

When I have the worst brainfog I say things that have cost me friends, a marriage and a job!

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Sounds pretty funny to me. Cats LOVE milk, horses LOVE grain, and squirrels LOVE nuts.......lol

-Jessica

and I love pasta and fresh baked bread. But cat's are lactose intollerant after 6 months.

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