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Not So Clever Deception

Posted by , 09 May 2008 · 144 views

My not-so-personal, so-called Life...Well, things the boyfriend was saying hadn't been adding up. He began staying up weird hours. He had no trouble spontaneously getting off work to go on trips with me. His responses to "how was your day" didn't make sense. So, I decided to call his work and found out he was no longer employed there. And, of course, he hadn't told me.
So, my mysterious scorpio traits kicked in, and I kept this secret. I sat beside him as he'd call his "sarge" and call off work for the day, knowing nobody was on the other end of the call. I let him "pretend" to be at work via text messages. I nodded and said, "That's odd" when he explained how his money was short because of a payroll mixup. Why?
First, it wasn't directly affecting me. Second, I had compassion- I don't know what it's like to lose a job (knock on wood)- I thought perhaps he was waiting until he got a new job to tell me. Third, I didn't want to stir up "drama" without having decided if I should leave the relationship yet. I wasn't in love, but I did thoroughly enjoy our companionship with lots of similar interests and a similar lifestyle. We could spend a week together 24/7 with travel snags and bad directions and never fight or get annoyed at one another. He'd go zip line, to a Lenny Kravitz concert, to a pro tennis match, etc. and match my enthusiasm. He was nurturing. He learned all about celiac and kept a gluten free counter for me in the kitchen, and made me gluten free frozen foods and ordered and watched them make my In-N-Out burgers and remake it if they touched it to the countertop. He iced my sprained ankle and massaged my achy celiac reacting back. Highly compatible. But, in retrospect, if he was a liar, it wasn't the true "him" that I was getting along so well with.
So, when I had time off work, I decided to take time to wrap my head around it. Decided that his constant lying to me no longer entitled him to the privacy I'd been giving him, and did some detective work, and discovered that he gambles at casinos every day. Plus, more legal, financial, and other junk that shows he is a liar.
He didn't just lie to me. He lied to everyone he knew. Sad. I knew of the job, but not the other stuff until I dug it up.

I decided to leave in my own, anticlimactic way- Stoic Norwegian Woman that I am- I was over watching TV at his condo (which he rents from my friend-paid 6 mos upfront--which he moved to so he could be near me)and he fell asleep, so I pulled up some info. on his computer screen so he would know that I KNOW, and I packed up my gluten free food and LEFT. He couldn't call me because his cell had been disconnected due to unpaid bill, so perfect timing.
And that was it. No drama. Why ask questions that I already know the answers to?

So, that was a month ago, and I'm enjoying the totally single life again.
I've been dating a scientist. We are going out to sushi tomorrow night.
At first mention of celiac, said scientist researched it and we had a nice discussion about genes.

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