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Resentment at mealtime. Why do you have to eat THAT in front of me?!

imissmacncheese
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imissmacncheese Newbie
imissmacncheese
Posted
(edited)

I’ve had my Celiac diagnosis for almost a year and a half. It was a delayed onset (symptoms started in my early 30s) and it didn’t take years to diagnose. My husband was incredibly supportive and would avoid eating my favorite (some of our favorite) foods in front of me for the first year or so. That solidarity has since worn off and now I find myself watching him order and enjoy many of my favorite foods right in front of me. To be clear, he’s not doing ANYTHING wrong by eating what he wants, but I’m angry and resentful about it despite my best efforts. Does anyone else ever feel like this? I obviously can’t say anything out loud... so what do I do?

Edited by imissmacncheese
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Ennis-TX Grand Master
Ennis-TX
Posted

Yep....I found different ways to deal with it. I started off going to places that did not serve many gluten options like BBQ, or some dedicated sushi places. I also tried talking with the friend I was going with so we both chose a gluten free meal then split each of our dishes so we got more to try (CC happened to often in non dedicated restaurants). Now days I hardly ever eat out and just cook everything Gluten free in my gluten free house, the only time I eat out now days is at a dedicated gluten free restaurant.

To be honesty it has changed in the past 6 years...I now look at gluten eaters and feel sad for them, same thing with junk food eaters. I see them eating this glucose spiking junk, or that unhealthy gluten food and I feel sorry for them. I have honestly learned to make everything gluten free, low carb over the years and paleo to meet my medical needs. It has left me with a much leaner body, able to work out daily, and eat a alot of food without issues. Sorta makes me wish others would see the light in that whole foods based on our naturally evolved paleolithic diet is much better for humans. >.< But I have other issues on top of celiac

cyclinglady Grand Master
cyclinglady
Posted

Why can’t you say something?  This is your partner.   

My hubby was gluten-free 12 years before me.  When my daughter and I wanted to indulge in gluten-filled foods, I made sure to always have the gluten-free equivalent on hand, or we ate gluten when we were away from home.

All dinners were prepared gluten-free.  The kid and I did consume sandwiches at lunch or pancakes, but we had gluten-free versions available for hubby.  I baked gluten-free and froze goodies for hubby.  He never had to attend a party without a treat. 

With my diagnosis, we went completely gluten-free.  Our kid gets her gluten fixes outside of our home now.  

Talk to your husband.  He probably has no clue that he is hurting your feelings.  

Miss Mac and Cheese?  Make a gluten version.  Anything homemade, even gluten-free is delicious!  

RMJ Mentor
RMJ
Posted

“To be clear, he’s not doing ANYTHING wrong by eating what he wants, but I’m angry and resentful about it despite my best efforts.”

I’m not sure I agree.  If he knows it really bothers you, he may be doing something wrong.  Does he know it bothers you a lot?  Is this a lot of foods, and thus a big imposition for him to avoid them?  Or just a few things?

There are some foods for which I find the odor obnoxious. My husband is considerate and only eats them when I am not home.  Are there times when you and your husband don’t eat together when he could eat those foods?  

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