End of relationship due to coeliac

[Hannah-2345]

Hi everyone,

Just joined this community because I think I need some support from people in the same boat

Quick summary: I am 26, my boyfriend of 9 years just broke up with me because he has suddenly realised that he finds coping with my diet too difficult and that there are too many times where I don’t feel well. It’s true that despite eating strictly gluten-free, I still have days where I have less energy, nausea and just don’t feel fantastic. He has been a big help through these years and really always paid attention to being very careful around me, using only my utensils, tea towel etc when cooking for me. However, I generally manage this disease quite well and am very optimistic - you have to be, right, in order to cope with it? And so having a partner who focuses on the bad things only brings in negative thoughts and energy for me, so it’s not good for me either.

Obviously, despite the fact that there were doubts from both of us about the relationship, I am devastated - I thought this was ‘it’. On top of that, the prospect of dating somebody new and getting to know them with all this extra stuff (I also react poorly to soy, rice, maize, buckwheat, not doing great with alcohol lately… the list goes on) is daunting to say the least and makes me concerned that I’ll never find another good, supportive relationship. Has anybody been through anything like this, and have you got any words of encouragement?
 

Thanks for reading!

[trents]

Welcome to the forum, Hannah!

Seems like the focus should be on getting you feeling well consistently as not feeling well consistently has played a major role in the breakup of your recent relationship.

You have identified some foods besides gluten which you seem to have developed intolerance to. As you know, the development of additional food intolerances is typical for those with celiac disease. I would suggest you get an ALCAT food allergy test done. Scott Adams, our forum admin, wrote an article about this back this summer summarizing his own experience with ALCAT. The trick is, when you get the results, to focus on the strongest reactions since it is likely there will be so many total reactions that it would be impractical to attend them all.

My other advice is to avoid large amounts and repetitive consumption of those things you react to. I find that there are non gluten foods that I have developed intolerance to such as eggs and peanuts that I can eat occasionally or in small amounts without much problem.

What vitamins and supplements are you on? Celiacs typically need significant additional nutritional support from vitamins and supplements as the disease generates deficiencies from inefficient absorption of nutrients from our food. In addition, flour substitutes used in gluten free processed foods and baking are not fortified as are their gluten counterparts.

[Scott Adams]

Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry to hear about your recent breakup. It can be difficult to cope with celiac disease, so it is very important that your partner be supportive. I guess it's better you found out now while you're still so young, rather than in a few years (when you'd still be young, but might have a lot more invested in the relationship that apparently isn't going anywhere).

I just want to say that there are tons of very supportive partners out there, and you just have to find only one of them. 

How long have you been gluten-free, and has your diet been strict the entire time? I ask because I also initially had many additional food intolerances besides gluten, but after a couple of years many of them went away.