Can I Slap Them ? Please ?!

[Mamato2boys]

I have both of my boys in the same daycare. My older son is 3 (he's the one that was officially diagnosed GS). I gave the daycare a copy of the EnteroLab results for his file, and told them he can have the items I circle on their menu (basically it ends up just being fruits & veggies and occasionally tater tots with ketchup). Everything else I provide - gluten-free rice milk, breakfast, lunch, and 3 snacks. I've explained to them that he can't have anything with glutens, what glutens are, and why he can't have them (they do change him after all, and know he has chronic diarrhea). Something told me to take my time leaving this morning, and I'm so glad I listened to my instinct ! I overheard one of the teachers asking Ryan if he wanted the cereal they were having. Then she said "oh no, you can't have that. Shannon's going to get the plain (Cheerios) for you." I've had lengthy conversations about Ryan's condition with the woman who was saying that. So I just looked at her like she was insane and said "Ryan can't have cereal AT ALL." I pulled out two items from his lunchbox (which I had already handed to her when we first got there), and said "he can have one of these two items."

They have a list of kids in every class that have allergies, and what they're allergic to. Ryan's name is on there, and next to it says "can ONLY have fresh fruit & veggies", then there's a sign in there with only his name on it that says the same thing, and also it says "brings food from home." So there are TWO signs, plus verbal instruction from me saying the same thing. I really thought I idiot-proofed this by providing his food and then outlining which of their foods he can have every week.

I know they have a lot of kids to deal with which is why I try to make it as easy as possible on them and just bring everything he needs - but come on now - pay attention !

[Nantzie]

I would be furious! It would make me wonder if they aren't quite taking it seriously. I've been really lucky with my daughter's preschool. I don't think they completely understand, but they also completely believe me. I was actually thinking about taking her out for a few months, but they were so on board with me and willing to do whatever it took, that I decided to leave her in. I'm very lucky.

You might want to see if you can meet together with the director of the school, the teachers in your kids classrooms and the kitchen staff.

I think a lot of the time people don't take it quite seriously because it's not a medical emergency like a peanut allergy, and they group it into something like diabetes where a little bit of something is okay.

If the visual of the chronic diarrhea isn't enough for them to realize how awful it feels to be glutened, let them know that a lot of us older people, as well as older kids, describe the feeling of being glutened like having food poisoning, the flu, and a hangover (okay the kids don't say this...) all at the same time. It's just a miserable feeling and it takes days to feel back to yourself. (And this feeling is usually after something like cross contamination. I can't imagine actually eating a cheerio. ) Then I'd ask them if they really want to make a little boy feel that way just because they don't want to be bothered with giving him special food that YOU specially prepared (a lot of it from scratch I'm sure) and packed and brought with you. If you can take hours out of your week to do all of that in order to make sure your kids don't feel sick every day, THEY can take seconds out of their day to just give your kids the food.

Sorry about going off, but this really irks me. I mean it's possible that she just had a brain fart and it's never happened before, but I agree. COME ON!

Grr.....

Nancy

[Rusla]

I think they need their butts kicked, some people are so very dumb.

How about buying him some Enviro Kids cereal and putting his name on the box in big letters or packing some in his lunch box.

[Mamato2boys]

I think they need their butts kicked, some people are so very dumb.

How about buying him some Enviro Kids cereal and putting his name on the box in big letters or packing some in his lunch box.

I thought of that on my way out the door and asked the assistant director if I could do that. She said that was fine and I think I'll do that.

This isn't the first issue I've had with them. I sat down with the director and assistant director and told them that while eating the wrong foods doesn't cause an IMMEDIATE emergency, that over a lifetime this WILL end his life. I did point out that having diarrhea just plain feels awful - imagine having it several times a day, every day for YEARS.

I'm sure it was just a brain fart because I know they would never maliciously do anything to hurt him. But it's a brain fart he can't afford.

[Fiddle-Faddle]

I hope she apologized like mad and said she would never never never never NEVER do something that stupid again.

If she didn't, then she is not taking you seriously and probably never will, and you should not leave your kids in her care (or the daycare should fire her).

Oh--if you do get him his own envirokids cereal, make sure that it does NOT look like whatever cereal they have, or he and they will get totally confused.

[shayesmom]

I think they need their butts kicked, some people are so very dumb.

How about buying him some Enviro Kids cereal and putting his name on the box in big letters or packing some in his lunch box.

Rusla, your suggestion would be awesome except for two points. The first being that they obviously are either suffering from illiteracy (as they can't read all the posted signs to begin with....so will they be able to read the child's name on a box of cereal?). And the second being your first accurate observation of some people being "so very dumb". Thank you for your take on that. Your honesty put a grin on my face this afternoon.

I've had similar experiences as well with our pre-k...but they are really trying. They just weren't too adept at grasping the concept of cross-contamination. Well....actually, the teacher did pull me aside and ask me if a particular cookie was okay (it was egg and dairy-free). But the ingredients listed flour (wheat) and soy flour, both of which aren't appropriate for dd. But she DID ask me first which I thought was good. And if ever they have special treats for the class, the teacher always has the assistant call me prior to the activity to go over the treat to be offered to make sure it is safe.

It really is too bad that butt-kicking is frowned upon in today's society. A good kick in the pants just may be what is needed to jumpstart some people's brains. In truth, at times I believe that there are many other undiagnosed Celiacs who are suffering from brain fog in the system.

Heather, I hope that you'll be able to find a way to get the daycare on board with all of this and to exercise a bit more caution and common sense in the future. But really, the best thing that could happen would be for some of these gluten-free foods to really hit the mainstream and become popular. It might drive down the price of some of the foods while becoming more widely used and accepted in daycares and schools. A girl can hope, right?

[Mamato2boys]

It really is too bad that butt-kicking is frowned upon in today's society. A good kick in the pants just may be what is needed to jumpstart some people's brains. In truth, at times I believe that there are many other undiagnosed Celiacs who are suffering from brain fog in the system.

Heather, I hope that you'll be able to find a way to get the daycare on board with all of this and to exercise a bit more caution and common sense in the future. But really, the best thing that could happen would be for some of these gluten-free foods to really hit the mainstream and become popular. It might drive down the price of some of the foods while becoming more widely used and accepted in daycares and schools. A girl can hope, right?

LOL, yes it is too bad, isn't it ??

Not too long ago I sent some Mary's Gone Crackers with Ryan to daycare (in his lunchbox). One of the employees said they "looked like birdseed." Consequently, Ryan will not touch them. I pulled the assistant director aside and told her it was VERY important the staff not make negative comments about his food as we're struggling with limited choices as it is. She was pretty unhappy the comment had been made. Oh, and did I mention she was the one going down the hall to get plain Cheerios for Ryan (the assistant director) ? I'm not sure if she realized she was getting them for Ryan or not - I suspect the girl in Ryan's classroom asked her to go get them and maybe didn't specify who they were for. I don't know. I don't think it's a matter of them not being on board per se...I think they just don't GET IT. Like a pp said - you'd think the visual of him having loose BM's/frequent diarrhea would make it stick in their minds ! He gets sent home in borrowed clothes an average of twice a week because he poops right through his pullup.

Rrrrrg. I detest this part of dealing with food allergies.

[tarnalberry]

Cases like this make me wonder if you can schedule a meeting with all of the people who work with your son there and talk to them. NOT just a talk TO them, but one that involves asking them questions and getting responses from them. A true teaching session. I'd include questions like "Someone asked him if he wanted Cheerios. Why was that wrong from a food perspective?" ... (then get answers) ... "Why was that counterproductive from an emotional standpoint?" ... (get answers). And I'd ask things like "If I look at your food and say 'oh, that looks like something a wild animal would eat', what would be your first response?" ... (then get answers). (Important point here: at no time should these questions be rhetorical.) It sounds like they're not thinking right now, so this is sort of a 'make them think' exercise.

[elligal]

It sounds like there are a lot of children and care providers at the preschool, which can lead to confusion, and cross-contamination. If things (and stools) don't improve, it might be time to find a new daycare provider, perhaps a private in-home one that can give your sons much more personalized care. Just check with your area's state childcare licencing to make sure that the provider hasn't had any complaints made against them.

[nikki-uk]

I'm just learning myself how difficult and fraught dealing with other people feeding your child can be.

My son was dx last week and although not a toddler (he's 14 yrs old) he has learning difficulties and so doesn't understand what he can and cannot have.

I thought (as my hubby has been G.F for 2 yrs) that it'd really easy,but I'm just beginning to realise that when it's your child it's a whole different ball game!!

My husband obviously knows what he can have and doesn't have anyone else on a regular basis make his meals/snacks for him (except me) so knows he's safe.

I had hoped my son's school would be able to adapt to do a meal lunchtimes for him - but it 's just not working out.

The cook gave him rice (which she knew was ok) yesterday,but then thought it wasn't enough for him and gave him a burger (admittedly no bun) .She had no idea that burgers might have wheat in them!

The cook also thought that the gravy would be ok as it was 'vegetarian' -again not realising that it too has wheat in it.

I've decided the margin of error is too great and will provide packed lunch from now on.If they consistently get it wrong every day then he's never going to heal!

I too thought that I had it covered after speaking to all staff involved - but I really don't think unless you are 'living it' that you understand it.

I've now brought in a load of snacks as well for my son and have told staff not to feed him with anything unless it's come from home - and hope for the best!

The thing I'm finding hardest to deal with is the the 'not being in control' aspect of it all.

...And yes, it does make you want to slap them!!

I can only be glad that my son doesn't have a peanut allergy....now that would keep me awake at night worrying

[Nancym]

Maybe the lady has gluten induced brain damage herself?

[nikki-uk]

Maybe the lady has gluten induced brain damage herself?

Indeed a possibility

[Mamato2boys]

Maybe the lady has gluten induced brain damage herself?

That would make sense, wouldn't it ?

[Mamato2boys]

I too thought that I had it covered after speaking to all staff involved - but I really don't think unless you are 'living it' that you understand it.

See, I operate under that assumption too. That people AREN'T going to get it because they don't live with it, day in & day out - and I can understand that. It's only normal I think. Which is why I pack him more than enough food every day and then circle what he can have on their posted menu each week. Cheerios is NOT a circled item - EVER !

I guess to be TOTALLY fair, his diet did just change over to this a couple weeks ago. Up until then his diet had been dairy free/egg free only (we hadn't gotten his EnteroLab test results back). But still - how hard is it, really ?