Big Italian Christmas (aka... Big Gluten Christmas)

[jkmunchkin]

So my husband is Catholic and since I'm Jewish we obviously go to his family's for Christmas (actually makes the holidays really easy that way).

We go to his grandma's for Christmas Eve, and it's the typical Italian Christmas of pasta, veal parmigiana, glazed ham, meatballs (with breadcrumbs), antii-past, etc., etc. I think it's possible that there may be 1 or 2 side dishes I can eat, but there are so many people running around there, I'm terrified of cross-contamination.

I was thinking of making something to bring, like chicken marsala (so it still fits in with what they normally have); but then last night I was thinking maybe they'd be offended. I mean his grandma does all the cooking. People will bring deserts and that kind of stuff, but no one brings an entree.

So I was thinking of making a cake (leaning towards the chocolate fudge cake from Annalise Roberts book); and maybe going to Mama's before hand and just getting myself a meal to bring. Mama's is an Italian restaurant in Long Island that has a huge gluten free menu and is incredible. My inlaws and his grandma live in Long Island, so that's where we'll be.

I figured this way I'm getting something that is still like what everyone else is eating, and it won't look that out of place.

So what do you think? Is this really rude? Should I just take my chances on getting glutened and find the 1 or 2 things I could possibly eat there?

[Guhlia]

You should never gluten yourself just to fit in. Your health is far more important than temporary hurt feelings. I'm sure they will all understand, especially since you have a real medical problem.

[Nooner]

Don't risk glutening yourself!

I think you have a great idea of picking up some gluten free food that will match what everyone else is eating. The only thing I would add is to talk to your in-laws first. Just let them know that you wish you could eat grandma's food, you don't want to be a bother, can't risk getting sick, feeling so much better now, looking forward to seeing everyone, etc...

If you get the chance, maybe you should talk to your hubby's grandma personally. It's my experience that in any family, if grandma is on your side, no one will give you any trouble! Not that they would, I'm sure. But it would be nice to personally tell her your situation. And if you let her know why you're bringing your own food, I'm sure she won't be offended.

I hope you have a good time!

[tarnalberry]

"Rude" is a relative term; everyone thinks something different is rude. The only way to know what is the right thing to do with his family is to ask them. I would vote for bringing something that fits in but is safe, but only they can answer whether or not that would be 'rude' to them. (And bollux to them if they think it is. )

[Creative-Soul]

I agree with Nooner and Tarnalberry...take something with you that fits into the theme, and have a chat with his family. I would hope that as long as you let them know what you are planning to do that it would not become an issue. You have to safeguard your health above everything else! Enjoy your dinner!

[jkmunchkin]

Don't risk glutening yourself!

I think you have a great idea of picking up some gluten free food that will match what everyone else is eating. The only thing I would add is to talk to your in-laws first. Just let them know that you wish you could eat grandma's food, you don't want to be a bother, can't risk getting sick, feeling so much better now, looking forward to seeing everyone, etc...

If you get the chance, maybe you should talk to your hubby's grandma personally. It's my experience that in any family, if grandma is on your side, no one will give you any trouble! Not that they would, I'm sure. But it would be nice to personally tell her your situation. And if you let her know why you're bringing your own food, I'm sure she won't be offended.

I hope you have a good time!

Thanks guys!! They all know my situation, but no matter how many questions they ask and how many times we explain to them what I can't have, cross contamination, etc. they just don't get it. Last year his grandma informed me the meatballs should be ok because she used just a tiny bit of breadcrumbs. And at Easter this past year after offering every desert (twice), they still couldn't grasp the concept of why I couldn't just eat the pudding from the bunny cake. Oh and this was after they offered to pick the tortellinis out of the soup, and I explained the whole cross contamination thing. Trust me, these are only a couple of examples. LOL!

I guess my point is, explaining it only seems to confuse them further, and I think they think I'm just being high maintenance when I say I can't eat the soup after the tortellinis are picked out.

They are also EXTREMELY passive aggressive. Which makes me feel all the more uncomfortable about the whole situation.

As I'm writing this, I'm realizing I would never intentionally pick up a gluten filled doughnut and eat it (no matter how much I wanted it), so why would I intentionally eat food that I know there is a good chance I will get glutened.

My husband fully supports me picking up food beforehand, and he is who I would be most worried about coming off as rude to, so I think I'm just going to pick up my gluten free chicken parmigiana... make a gluten free chocolate fudge cake to bring and stop worrying about this!!!

Thanks for the advice, and thanks for letting me ramble on in this post while I work it out in my head!! LOL!!

[wolfie]

I would take the italian food from your restaurant that you can eat. That sounds yummy!!!

Hopefully they will understand.