How Do I Get People To Take Me Seriously?

[sparkybear]

It's early days for me in the wheat/gluten free thing, i was looking on the web for foods that could cause constipation becasue no matter how much fibre i ate i still suffered. I came accross wheat intolerance and celiac and decided to try wheat free for a while. So last week i ate no wheat and hardley any gluten and saw a dramatic improvement. This week i am eating wheat cos i am having a blood test for celiac next monday, i really don't feels so good now. Don't get me wrong i am an active individual, but so was my mum who, as far as i can tell suffers very similar problems to me. My mum no longer goes to the gym and worryingly (sp) broke a rib last year and is now suffering joint pain along with a loss in height of about 1". When i approached her about the possibility of avoiding wheat (i didn't want to scare her with the whole gluten thing) she dissmissed it as a faddy diet. My boyfriend has also commented that it's all in my mind. How do i get these people to realise that i need support even if i don't have celiac but find a wheat/gluten free diet beneficial? For the record my symtons are:-

*constipation

*stomach pains after eating (not severe, but enough)

*lethargy

*bloated feeling after eating

*i have been anemic several times

*bad dandruff

*headaches

*loss of concentration

*dark circles around the eyes

*cannot breath through my nose much

*when i can breath through my nose i have virtually no sense of smell

*Wind/gas

I'm worried that my mum could have had a gluten intolerance all her life and as a result is having problem that seem to point towards osteoperosis, also i might go that way too if i don't reaslise what the cause of my problems are.

[CarlaB]

If your tests come out positive, you probably won't have as much trouble convincing them.

If they come out negative, tell them you feel better not eating it. My husband feels better when he doesn't eat tomato sauce. Everyone feels better if they don't overindulge in alcohol or sweets. What difference does it make if it's avoiding gluten that makes you feel better? If you just make it simple and don't try to make them understand the whole idea of gluten intolerance, it might make them more understanding. You simply feel better when you don't eat it and you get stomach upset when you do.

[flowergirl]

Sparkybear, you'll most likely not like the answer I have on your question. Before I diagnosed myself with gluten intolerance I received lots of rejection due to my health problems. Many doctors were eager to hang labels around my neck and treat my like I'm crazy and I guess to them I did seem crazy because I had lots of anxiety and depression with gluten ingestion and my central nervous system was going bonkers.

Now that I'm gluten-free and my heath has returned I still get lots of rejection. My doctor doesn't believe I have celiac, other people insist there must be something else wrong, others are eager to tell my this and that but I've learned that you cannot control others, you can only control yourself. I've decided that I am doing better and that is what keeps me going. I now handle peoples rejection as it comes and I am not so much bothered about their disrespect and disregard for me. Even people very close to me sometimes hurt me by insisting I add soy and dairy back into my diet, it won't hurt. How inconsiderate and insensitive!

If you are looking for people to be sensitive and respectful to you, just remember you may never find it. Sometimes you are the only one fighting for YOU and YOUR HEALTH. You can't control your mother or persuade her that gluten may be her problem because then you are just like the other people who are trying to convince you the it's-all-your-your-head BS. Lead by example by focussing on your health and getting better. Your mother may decide to follow your example... or not.

Kind regards, Flowergirl

[Guest cassidy]

This is always tough to deal with. First of all, you aren't alone as far as those close to you not believing the diet can be helpful. My bloodwork was negative and it took me accidently glutening myself around my husband a couple of times for him to actually see that I feel bad if I eat gluten and good if I don't. He came around because he saw the difference for himself, but he was not helpful in the beginning. Your boyfriend, depending how close you are, will also be impacted by this. You will have to think ahead when you eat out and you will get glutened and feel really bad sometimes. My husband had to learn to accept the disease because it does affect him as well and I think he may have been in denial for a little while as well.

That being said, you may not be able to get the support you need right now from your family, so you may need to find it from other places. This board is great and everyone is very helpful.

Maybe once you go on the diet permanently and your mother sees how much better you feel she will be willing to give it a try. Good luck and don't let anyone convince you to give up!

[hathor]

If you have a positive test, this should quiet the doubters.

If you have a negative test, you might try Enterolab. Its testing is more sensitive and can see problems before they would show up in blood work. I've certainly read here of people who have had false negatives with blood tests.

Ultimately, though, it comes down to how you feel when you eat certain things. If they don't agree with you or you feel better without them, it is nobody else's business if you don't eat them. Of course, this goes two ways. You can't make someone else accept they may have a problem. My mom has IBS and osteoporosis, but firmly dismissed the idea of being gluten intolerant when I told her my results. I may lead by example, though. I told her to be aware of the possibility and keep track of what she ate before she feels unwell. In recent years, she has concluded she is lactose intolerant, so there is always a chance she will come around on her own. Then again, she could be right and not have a problem with gluten.

Except for the dandruff (tried tea tree oil shampoo? I used to have the problem but this cleared it up), anemia, and loss of sense of smell, all your symptoms were mine. To yours, add a perennially runny nose and random sneezing attacks and you have me.

Or rather me before I gave up gluten. I'm really doing better and better everyday, except when I do something stupid and accidentally gluten myself. (I'm still early in the learning curve ) I know my husband thought it was all in my mind before the Enterolab results came back. I wouldn't have minded being proven wrong, though Now, he DENIES he was a doubter, but I've known him for over twenty years. I could tell. He also knows ME well enough not to have verbally voiced his doubts to me

[sparkybear]

Thankyou for all the replies. I can see what Cassidy means, there is a lot of support here on this forum.

I have the blood tests on Monday (so far away...) so I am eating gluten until then at least. I have an important trip palnned in three weeks so i'll prob skip it after they have taken blood at least til after my trip.

I still think i'll have a difficult time with friends and family even if the blood tests come up positive, someone (i can't remeber who) said they always come up positive and the test is a bit of a joke! (aarrgh!!)

Hathor, i agree with you that when i eliminate the foods and my mum sees the difference it's making for me, it might persuade her to give it a try, but i guess i can't make her as most of you have said.

Thanks again for your support