Jump to content

  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):

    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

One Of Those Embarrassing Topics...

aquamarine-queen

Recommended Posts

aquamarine-queen Rookie
aquamarine-queen
Posted

I know I've got to learn to become comfortable talking about this in some venue, and you all seem fairly relaxed about the subject, so....

....anyone out there understand the truly awful combination of celiac and well, um, shy bowel? Any advice to offer on how you are dealing with it? I am frequently literally unable to use the bathroom when my husband is at home, which is creating some interesting situations, particularly on the weekends. I'm sure I don't need to go into the details that you all know so well regarding celiac/gs and the "bathroom". But the end result of this combination is becoming increasingly intolerable, not to mention how much worse it is when I have a moment of privacy and can actually go. I have actually seen a therapist for this condition (before my diagnosis) and it didn't help (and was terribly embarrassing to boot!).

Anyone? I'd love to know that I'm not alone.

AquaQ

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

I've been married for 22 years and don't have that problem at all. :P Just announce to him that he probably wants to leave the bathroom, then go in there ... he'll leave you alone ... I promise!! :lol:

You could always buy him some Bose headsets that cancel out background noise. :lol:

I hope you're not offended by my making light of this, I know you said you've been to therapy. Just remember, hubby makes those noises, too.

Now, in front of hubby, I'm not shy, but put me in a public restroom and I'll wait till everyone leaves! :P It was murder 25 years ago when I lived in a sorority house with 90 girls! LOL I don't think I was the only one because the one "single potty" bathroom always smelled bad. :lol:

Maybe talking to hubby about it will help the situation.

aquamarine-queen Rookie
aquamarine-queen
Posted
  • Author

Thank you for the thoughts :)

Unfortunately, this just isn't something I can talk about with my husband. I'm mortified at the thought. And, believe it or not, I have never "heard" my husband in the bathroom. We're both extremely discreet people (been together 18 years), which doesn't help matters. I know he would understand if I told him, but this is something that stems from my childhood and goes much deeper. It's a phobia.

All of the information I've given him to read about celiac is carefully edited by me to exclude the more graphic aspects of the disease. I've been known to stuff towels at the bathroom door and run both the exhaust fan and the shower to help muffle sounds, but ultimately, 99% of the time, if he's home, I can't go. It's not a logical thing and I imagine it's difficult for most people to understand. I was just hoping that there was someone else out there like me who can identify and maybe share how they deal with it.

I appreciate that you took the time to read and answer (I read your post on the other board; normally I'm not so sensitive. After I posted I regretted it almost immediately - when I realized that it was PMS-driven :rolleyes: ) Anyway, it was kind of you :)

AQ

oceangirl Collaborator
oceangirl
Posted
Thank you for the thoughts :)

Unfortunately, this just isn't something I can talk about with my husband. I'm mortified at the thought. And, believe it or not, I have never "heard" my husband in the bathroom. We're both extremely discreet people (been together 18 years), which doesn't help matters. I know he would understand if I told him, but this is something that stems from my childhood and goes much deeper. It's a phobia.

All of the information I've given him to read about celiac is carefully edited by me to exclude the more graphic aspects of the disease. I've been known to stuff towels at the bathroom door and run both the exhaust fan and the shower to help muffle sounds, but ultimately, 99% of the time, if he's home, I can't go. It's not a logical thing and I imagine it's difficult for most people to understand. I was just hoping that there was someone else out there like me who can identify and maybe share how they deal with it.

I appreciate that you took the time to read and answer (I read your post on the other board; normally I'm not so sensitive. After I posted I regretted it almost immediately - when I realized that it was PMS-driven :rolleyes: ) Anyway, it was kind of you :)

I understand very well. I have made progress in this area, but my family knows I need to be left completely alone in order to relax in the bathroom. I also can't go if I know people are waiting for me to do something (ie. in the morning when everyone's getting ready to leave the house for school_ or, just about any time!) I was married for 25 years with a very understanding husband but even so, had difficulty if I couldn't be left alone! It's hard to explain this to people who don't get it. It feels almost pathological and if your problem is predominantly constipation as mine is AND you have only ONE bathroom as I do- it's nuts! My system feels like it's glued shut sometimes. My partner, Michael, of seven years is SOoo understanding- I have told him the gory details but I still have trouble. Of course, the beginning of gluten intolerance which began with food poisoning which made me lose it from both ends at once all night helped, as I always pass out when I throw up, so I was held on the toilet while I got through this. STILL..... I wanted to tell you I think I understand your feelings. Forcing yourself to open up A LITTLE could help you. A secret is more horrible when you keep it to yourself and loses some of its immense power when you get it out. Really.

Best of luck and health to you.

lisa

AQ

oceangirl Collaborator
oceangirl
Posted

Okay, once again I screwed up my reply and it's mixed in- sorry! Hopefully you can sort it out.

lisa

aquamarine-queen Rookie
aquamarine-queen
Posted
  • Author

Lisa,

Thank you for sharing your story. It really helps to know I'm not the only one with this problem (although, of course, I'm sorry to learn that you have it, too :( ) I never quite thought of it as having a "secret". That gave me pause to consider it in a new light. I don't expect to be as simple as telling my "secret" and poof! problem solved, but it does give me hope that there's another way to look at this condition and possibly find my way to overcoming it. Thank you :)

AQ

DoriGates Newbie
DoriGates
Posted

I didnt think there was anyone out there that felt the same way that I do. Just like you this started with me when I was a child. I am going to be getting married in July and I am mortified at the thought that my husband is going to hear me in the bathroom. He is not shy about anything that has to do with bodily sounds and often jokes about himself. I just cant imagine being so at ease about it. I have put off my wedding for two years because of this. I am literally mortified about this. I know that I was made fun of as a child, teenager, and now as an adult about what happens in the bathroom. I guess that is why I am so scared by it . But the wedding is going to happen and I am going to have to deal with it some how. Turning on the shower and the fan does not do that much, as I can hear my fiance even with the shower and fan on when he is in there. Since I suffer with "D", I cant hold it. Oh and the gas, geez, maybe the invites has not gone out yet, LOL!!

Your not alone out there.

Dori

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):

Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):


aquamarine-queen Rookie
aquamarine-queen
Posted
  • Author

Dori,

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! :) I remember well the fears I brought into my own marriage about "bathroom" issues (wish I could say I found a way to get over them). I saw a therapist over this condition who tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with me. It didn't help me, ultimately, but I saw the validity in the way the therapist approached the problem, which was basically a series of increasingly difficult "homework" assignments. She started me off very slowly by attempting to change one small behavior; one of my habits was to remove the toilet paper roll from the holder (because it was audible how many times I rolled off tissue), so leaving the roll on was my first assignment. I did that successfully, but in time I developed another way of dealing with that issue, which in effect defeated the purpose of the exercise. I got through 3 or 4 assignments in this way when I gave up on the therapy.

Although it didn't work for me, I understand that there are others for whom this type of therapy HAS worked successfully. There's a good deal of information about CBT on the internet; five or ten minutes of research should tell you if this is something that might be able to help you. :)

Hang in there ;)

AQ

  • 2 weeks later...
carrielynn Apprentice
carrielynn
Posted

If you both are willing to try anything, you should take a look at Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) -- see Open Original Shared Link which provides a ton of free information and instructions on how to do it. I saw a therapist who used this technique on me. This is a woman who I respect 100% and who has helped me tremendously with other issues using other respected therapies (biofeedback, neurofeedback, CBT, etc). I was experiencing an extreme reaction to someone and I couldn't get past being very angry at him. She performed EFT on me, started tapping on my face and on my hand and asking me to roll my eyes, count and sing while I thought about this person. I honestly thought she had gone cuckoo, but since I was paying a lot of money for the session went along with it. And it worked! Most of the issues I had with this guy just went away! (I had been battling these emotions for years and they were just gone... now he doesn't bug me at all.)

The EFT folks use this technique for just about everything, including the phobia you describe here. Give it a shot and see if it helps. You can do it yourself or find an EFT practitioner to work with you.

aquamarine-queen Rookie
aquamarine-queen
Posted
  • Author
If you both are willing to try anything, you should take a look at Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) -- see Open Original Shared Link which provides a ton of free information and instructions on how to do it. I saw a therapist who used this technique on me. This is a woman who I respect 100% and who has helped me tremendously with other issues using other respected therapies (biofeedback, neurofeedback, CBT, etc). I was experiencing an extreme reaction to someone and I couldn't get past being very angry at him. She performed EFT on me, started tapping on my face and on my hand and asking me to roll my eyes, count and sing while I thought about this person. I honestly thought she had gone cuckoo, but since I was paying a lot of money for the session went along with it. And it worked! Most of the issues I had with this guy just went away! (I had been battling these emotions for years and they were just gone... now he doesn't bug me at all.)

The EFT folks use this technique for just about everything, including the phobia you describe here. Give it a shot and see if it helps. You can do it yourself or find an EFT practitioner to work with you.

Now, I will admit that while this does sound a bit kooky to me, I'm certainly in no position to dismiss it out of hand. I will look into this therapy. Thanks for posting about it :)

AQ

carrielynn Apprentice
carrielynn
Posted
Now, I will admit that while this does sound a bit kooky to me, I'm certainly in no position to dismiss it out of hand. I will look into this therapy. Thanks for posting about it :)

AQ

I know, I know. I really, really thought this woman had lost her marbles when she led me through this little tapping/singing/counting exercise. But it worked on my problem when nothing else did. I learned how to do it myself and have been able to mitigate some other extreme emotional responses that I've had. The testimonials are pretty amazing on the website and there are a number of well-respected people who support and use it.

Since you can download the manual for free and try it, you really don't have anything to lose except some time.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):



    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):



  • Recent Activity

    1. Scott Adams
      - Scott Adams replied to Jhona's topic in Introduce Yourself / Share Stuff
      35

      Does anyone here also have Afib

      If black seed oil is working for his Afib, stick to it, but if not, I can say that ablation therapy is no big deal--my mother was out of the procedure in about 1 hour and went home that evening, and had zero negative effects from the treatment. PS - I would recommend that your husband get an Apple watch to monitor his Afib--there is an app and it will...
    2. Jacki Espo
      - Jacki Espo replied to CDFAMILY's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      5

      Covid caused reoccurrence of DH without eating gluten

      This happened to me as well. What’s weirder is that within a couple hours of taking paxlovid it subsided. I thought maybe I got glutened but after reading your post not so sure.
    3. Mari
      - Mari replied to tiffanygosci's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      1

      New Celiac Mama in My 30s

      Hi Tiffany. Thank you for writing your dituation and circumstancesin such detail and so well writte, too. I particularly noticed what you wrote about brain for and feeling like your brain is swelling and I know from my own experiences that's how it feel and your brain really does swell and you get migraines. Way back when I was in my 2...
    4. Mari
      - Mari replied to Jmartes71's topic in Coping with Celiac Disease
      2

      My only proof

      Hi Jmartes71 That is so much like my story! You probably know where Laytonville is and that's where I was living just before my 60th birthday when the new Dr. suggested I could have Celiacs. I didn't go on a gluten challange diet before having the Celiac panel blood test drawn. The results came back as equivical as one antibody level was very high but...
    5. knitty kitty
      - knitty kitty replied to Jhona's topic in Introduce Yourself / Share Stuff
      35

      Does anyone here also have Afib

      Fascinating.
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):


  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      131,957
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748
    Dogdad21
    Newest Member
    Dogdad21
    Joined
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m
  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):



  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):


  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Scott Adams
      Does anyone here also have Afib

      By Scott Adams · Posted

      If black seed oil is working for his Afib, stick to it, but if not, I can say that ablation therapy is no big deal--my mother was out of the procedure in about 1 hour and went home that evening, and had zero negative effects from the treatment. PS - I would recommend that your husband get an Apple watch to monitor his Afib--there is an app and it will take readings 24/7 and give reports on how much of the time he's in it. Actual data like this should be what should guide his treatment.
    • Jacki Espo
      Covid caused reoccurrence of DH without eating gluten

      By Jacki Espo · Posted

      This happened to me as well. What’s weirder is that within a couple hours of taking paxlovid it subsided. I thought maybe I got glutened but after reading your post not so sure. 
    • Mari
      New Celiac Mama in My 30s

      By Mari · Posted

      Hi Tiffany. Thank you for writing your dituation and  circumstancesin such detail and so well writte, too. I particularly noticed what you wrote about brain for and feeling like your brain is swelling and I know from my own experiences that's how it feel and your brain really does swell and you get migraines.    Way back when I was in my 20s I read a book by 2 MD allergist and they described their patient who came in complaining that her brain, inside her cranium, was swelling  and it happened when she smelled a certain chemical she used in her home. She kept coming back and insisting her brain actually swelled in her head. The Drs couldn't explain this problem so they, with her permission, performed an operation where they made a small opening through her cranium, exposed her to the chemical then watched as she brain did swell into the opening. The DRs were amazed but then were able to advise her to avoid chemicals that made her brain swell. I remember that because I occasionally had brain fog then but it was not a serious problem. I also realized that I was becoming more sensitive to chemicals I used in my work in medical laboratories. By my mid forties the brain fog and chemicals forced me to leave my  profession and move to a rural area with little pollution. I did not have migraines. I was told a little later that I had a more porous blood brain barrier than other people. Chemicals in the air would go up into my sinused and leak through the blood brain barrier into my brain. We have 2 arteries  in our neck that carry blood with the nutrients and oxygen into the brain. To remove the fluids and used blood from the brain there are only capillaries and no large veins to carry it away so all those fluids ooze out much more slowly than they came in and since the small capillaries can't take care of extra fluid it results in swelling in the face, especially around the eyes. My blood flow into my brain is different from most other people as I have an arterial ischema, adefectiveartery on one side.   I have to go forward about 20 or more years when I learned that I had glaucoma, an eye problem that causes blindness and more years until I learned I had celiac disease.  The eye Dr described my glaucoma as a very slow loss of vision that I wouldn't  notice until had noticeable loss of sight.  I could have my eye pressure checked regularly or it would be best to have the cataracts removed from both eyes. I kept putting off the surgery then just overnight lost most of the vision in my left eye. I thought at the I had been exposed to some chemical and found out a little later the person who livedbehind me was using some chemicals to build kayaks in a shed behind my house. I did not realize the signifance  of this until I started having appointments with a Dr. in a new building. New buildings give me brain fog, loss of balance and other problems I know about this time I experienced visual disturbances very similar to those experienced by people with migraines. I looked further online and read that people with glaucoma can suffer rapid loss of sight if they have silent migraines (no headache). The remedy for migraines is to identify and avoid the triggers. I already know most of my triggers - aromatic chemicals, some cleaning materials, gasoline and exhaust and mold toxins. I am very careful about using cleaning agents using mostly borax and baking powder. Anything that has any fragrance or smell I avoid. There is one brand of dishwashing detergent that I can use and several brands of  scouring powder. I hope you find some of this helpful and useful. I have not seen any evidence that Celiac Disease is involved with migraines or glaucoma. Please come back if you have questions or if what I wrote doesn't make senseto you. We sometimes haveto learn by experience and finding out why we have some problems. Take care.       The report did not mention migraines. 
    • Mari
      My only proof

      By Mari · Posted

      Hi Jmartes71 That is so much like my story! You probably know where Laytonville is and that's where I was living just before my 60th birthday when the new Dr. suggested I could have Celiacs. I didn't go on a gluten challange diet before having the Celiac panel blood test drawn. The results came back as equivical as one antibody level was very high but another, tissue transaminasewas normal. Itdid show I was  allergic to cows milk and I think hot peppers. I immediately went gluten free but did not go in for an endoscopy. I found an online lab online that would do the test to show if I had a main celiac gene (enterolab.com). The report came back that I had inherited a main celiac gene, DQ8, from one parent and a D!6 from the other parent. That combination is knows to sym[tons of celiac worse than just inheriting one main celiac gene. With my version of celiac disease I was mostly constipated but after going gluten-free I would have diarrhea the few times I was glutened either by cross contamination or eating some food containing gluten. I have stayed gluten-free for almost 20 years now and knew within a few days that it was right for me although my recovery has been slow.   When I go to see a  medical provide and tell them I have celiacs they don't believe me. The same when I tell them that I carry a main celiac gene, the DQ8. It is only when I tell them that I get diarrhea after eating gluten that they realize that I might have celiac disease. Then they will order th Vitamin B12 and D3 that I need to monitor as my B12 levels can go down very fast if I'm not taking enough of it. Medical providers haven't been much help in my recovery. They are not well trained in this problem. I really hope this helps ypu. Take care.      
    • knitty kitty
      Does anyone here also have Afib

      By knitty kitty · Posted

      Fascinating.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.