Misguided Frustration- Newbie Anxiety

[ItchyMeredith]

I guess this diagnosis has been harder on me than I have been willing to admit. I have been diagnosed and gluten free for 2 weeks. I have been outwardly optimistic about my ability to do this diet but I know there is an internal struggle because I have been such a witch to my husband. In my rational mind I totally understand that NONE of this is his fault. He is just the person here that unfortunately is at the end of my misguided frustration. I know that all of this negativity is about a loss of control. I just feel so much anxiety over this new diet. I feel like a prisoner unable to go out in fear that I might get hungry. So much of our

[Eriella]

It will get better soon, but you will still have times where you will take it out on your husband. I have been gluten-free since April and just blew up at my bf over nothing because I was so frustrated at trying to handle everyone at work bending over backwards to accommodate vegetarians, a diet of choice, but making no accommodations for me. You just need to get it out and it is okay to grieve over the diagnosis, and it gets easier.

My adjustment period was about a month, and I still have spurts where I am miserable. Normally my misery occurs because a lot of my job involves parties with food I can't eat and the people that buy the food don't normally remember me. As your friends see you get better, they normally get better about cooking food that you can eat, so it gets easier.

My advice about hurdles is simple, don't let this define your life. Make up a bunch of gluten-free food snack packs and stick them in the freezer or fridge (I got a great gluten-free carrot cake muffin recipe from KarenB that I can repost if you want it). Instead of having boxes of cereal, pour them in baggies, do the same with baby carrots, berries, pretzels, waffles, rice, salt potatoes, deli meat and cheese... This way you can just grab 3-4 bags for each person on your way out. It makes my life so much easier. I also recommend going out to eat for something simple-- a burger, Wendy's, or breakfast-- just to prove to yourself that you can. A family trip to Wendys or the diner will make you feel normal again and give you a break from cooking (tip-- for eating out just say that you have a wheat allergy so you can not have the bun touch your burger or pancake batter in your eggs). Even if it is rough, force yourself to do it 2-3 times. Then you'll see that it isn't that bad.

To get your husband to help is dependent on how your marriage is set up. Ask him "do you want to watch the kids or do you want to do the dishes?" or "I want to go to the park. Can you put sublock on the kids while I get the dipper bag and snacks?"

As far as negativity, focus on what you can eat and how much better you are feeling, not how much you lost. For me, thinking "I didn't have to spend a single day in bed this week" or "I have had normal bowl movement for the first time in a long time" really helped me out.

Good luck! It does get easier.

[Karen B.]

I found that taking my husband to the support group meetings has been a great way for him to learn how serious it is, talk with the spouses of other Celiacs and become informed about other issues I have to deal with. Do you have a local support group?

This is a big adjustment for you but also for him (not as big but still an adjustment). When you're married, just about every "never again" is associated with something he can't share with you. He may still be running on auto-pilot for some things. I agree with Eriella's suggestion about being direct -- "Do you want to ___ or ___ so we can get on our way?"

Don't know if your hubby would be interested, but I've tried to involve my hubby with preparing new mixes and taste testing so he feels like he has some input into choices about what tastes good and how much work it takes to have it around. That's one reason why he's very understanding about having muffins and Chebe around much more than loaf bread. He understands why we have pancakes or waffles instead of french toast because he's helped me make bread and knows how long it takes.

The Whole Foods in our area give us a 5% discount if we buy things by the case. I order their 365 brand lightly salted popcorn by the case so we can always grab a bag for snacks on the way out. It's quick, easy and healthy.

p.s. Eriella, glad you like the muffins!

[confused]

it is hard, but the thing is to plan ahead. If you think u want to go to the park the next day, make baggies of stuff the night before. When I had little ones, i always kept diapers, wipes, sunblock and stuff in the van. That way i would just pick up the kids and go, Of course i was not diagnosed celiac then and I didnt venture out much. I had 4 kids in 5 yrs and it was hard cause i was always pg, and had one in diapers or 2 in diapers for that matter. Now that i am celiac we go more places now cause i finally know what is wrong with. Things still need some planning cause my little ones are 7, almost 6, 4 and 3. I always keeep lara bars in my glove box now and starburst. I always have fruit cut up in the fridge, so if we are going to the park i can grab that and go. I usually always have bottles water or juice in the van to. Cause someone ends up thirsty when we go out lol. You can always find an water fountain if the water gets hot in the van.

I am lucky tho that i have an great husband that helps. That use to be the only way i would go places with all 5 kids. But now im feeling the best that i have felt, there are days we pack up and go walk by the river, we go to the driivng range, go look for ducks or go to the park. I can just say ok kids lets go and off we go. That is why i keep things in the van or already cut up in the fridge. It makes life so much easier.

Of course im not b/f or have an kid in diapers anymore, but just know things will get better. And to let you know, there are times i get mad at my hubby to, and he knows it is just cause im frustrated and he blows me off, or if i accidetnly get glutened he knows to watch out cause i have the worst neuro problems that come with celiac. I bet in 2 months you will have an handle on it and life will be easier.

paula

[confused]

I found that taking my husband to the support group meetings has been a great way for him to learn how serious it is, talk with the spouses of other Celiacs and become informed about other issues I have to deal with. Do you have a local support group?

This is a big adjustment for you but also for him (not as big but still an adjustment). When you're married, just about every "never again" is associated with something he can't share with you. He may still be running on auto-pilot for some things. I agree with Eriella's suggestion about being direct -- "Do you want to ___ or ___ so we can get on our way?"

Don't know if your hubby would be interested, but I've tried to involve my hubby with preparing new mixes and taste testing so he feels like he has some input into choices about what tastes good and how much work it takes to have it around. That's one reason why he's very understanding about having muffins and Chebe around much more than loaf bread. He understands why we have pancakes or waffles instead of french toast because he's helped me make bread and knows how long it takes.

The Whole Foods in our area give us a 5% discount if we buy things by the case. I order their 365 brand lightly salted popcorn by the case so we can always grab a bag for snacks on the way out. It's quick, easy and healthy.

p.s. Eriella, glad you like the muffins!

I never thought of popcorn to take when we go out. Thanks for sharing that, all the kids love popcorn, That would be perfect to take on the trips for baseball out of town. I could get all the kids the little single serve bags.

paula

[Tephie]

I guess this diagnosis has been harder on me than I have been willing to admit. I have been diagnosed and gluten free for 2 weeks. I have been outwardly optimistic about my ability to do this diet but I know there is an internal struggle because I have been such a witch to my husband. In my rational mind I totally understand that NONE of this is his fault. He is just the person here that unfortunately is at the end of my misguided frustration. I know that all of this negativity is about a loss of control. I just feel so much anxiety over this new diet. I feel like a prisoner unable to go out in fear that I might get hungry. So much of our

[Karen B.]

Hey Meredith,

I don't have any words of wisdom for you since I am in the same boat, well except for the kids. It's frusterating since we used to eat out a lot or throw in a frozen pizza for dinner and now I can't. I have to plan ahead, and it's throwing me for a loop Last night I think I would have done some bodily harm to have a tombstone pizza....

Well, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and I am here if you need to talk.

Stephanie

Have you tried Amy's frozen rice crust cheese pizza? We buy it and add additional ingredients on top. Usually just pepperoni and extra cheese but sometimes we really pile it on. It cooks better on a perforated pizza pan but it really is good.

Another option is making Chebe pizza crust up ahead of time and freezing it until you need it. That's worked well for me. I usually split the dough into 4 balls that I smoosh in my tortilla press for individual pizzas. It makes a great quick lunch. (just add gluten-free pizza sauce, cheese, etc.)

[Tephie]

Have you tried Amy's frozen rice crust cheese pizza? We buy it and add additional ingredients on top. Usually just pepperoni and extra cheese but sometimes we really pile it on. It cooks better on a perforated pizza pan but it really is good.

Another option is making Chebe pizza crust up ahead of time and freezing it until you need it. That's worked well for me. I usually split the dough into 4 balls that I smoosh in my tortilla press for individual pizzas. It makes a great quick lunch. (just add gluten-free pizza sauce, cheese, etc.)

Thanks for the ideas Karen. I did some more shopping today and saw some of the different kinds of frozen pizza's and pizza dough mixes. I did buy some of the little frozen kinnikik (spelling?) personal pizza dough. I have read many posts about using a perforated pizza pan, I will have to try to find me one.

I saw some different Chebe items today, are most of their stuff pretty good?

[Karen B.]

Thanks for the ideas Karen. I did some more shopping today and saw some of the different kinds of frozen pizza's and pizza dough mixes. I did buy some of the little frozen kinnikik (spelling?) personal pizza dough. I have read many posts about using a perforated pizza pan, I will have to try to find me one.

I saw some different Chebe items today, are most of their stuff pretty good?

I'm quite a fan of Chebe. It's easy and has a great texture. If you check out their website, they have a bunch of recipes for variations. www.chebe.com

I get a wide variety of flavors by simply varying the cheese I use and I accidently found out that if you forget the cheese altogether, it makes a pretty good scone like breakfast pastry! I've posted a recipe for white bread rolls with it using fat free cream cheese (the fat free has xanthan gum in it) and powdered sugar donut holes. I've also made mock rye rolls for my Mom with it. Just last Wednesday, I made parmesan and green chili bread sticks that I shared with some of my co-workers (non-Celiacs, but they love Chebe). It's one of those products that I would still buy and make if I were magically cured of Celiac tomorrow. If you make it with parmesan and add the baking powder they mention, it makes a great deli roll like a Schlotsky's bun that travels well and doesn't fall apart.

It has one quirk. Tapioca doesn't dry out like rice flour does so after you bake the Chebe, you have to let it "breathe" for 12-24 hours before you put it in an airtight bag or container. If you don't do that, it can become very gummy. I wrap it in a tea towel and set it in a colander or basket overnight.

If you want more tips on preparing it, let me know. I've been fixing it for about 4 years now.

[ItchyMeredith]

You guys are making me hungry!

I am shopping at a new healthfood store tomorrow. I can't wait to see what I find there.

[ravenwoodglass]

Thanks for the ideas Karen. I did some more shopping today and saw some of the different kinds of frozen pizza's and pizza dough mixes. I did buy some of the little frozen kinnikik (spelling?) personal pizza dough. I have read many posts about using a perforated pizza pan, I will have to try to find me one.

I saw some different Chebe items today, are most of their stuff pretty good?

I am a great fan of Kinnikinick, try their bread also, the Italian is real good. Just remember to zap it or toast it it improves the flavor and texture a great deal. Gluten Free Pantry makes a French Bread Mix that is great for pizza. It is very sticky and hard to spread right after mixing but I get it cold or freeze and thaw it then spread. It is very close to 'real' pizza dough and even the gluten eaters I have given it to like it. I love to grab some out of the freezer on a buzy day and by the time dinner rolls aroung it is ready to spread out and top. Even quicker than ordering out.

[zippy2play]

It is overwelming at first. Heck in the first month I ate Fritos at some point everyday! But it does get better. I can remember being so frustrated with what I could eat just choosing not to eat. Those days are gone. I have been gluten free for 1 1/2 years. It becomes routine what you will have at your house and it will become 2nd nature. You will still have times you miss what you can't have, but as I always tell anyone who says, man that must stink to not eat wheat..... M&M's are GLUTEN FREE....life is GOOD!

Monica